-Delile
- 1. Lapho izinyathelo zakho ziba ngaphakathi-ukuvumelanisa
- 2. Uma welulela umlingani wakho ngaphambi kwanoma ngubani omunye
- 3. Lapho eba ngumlingani wakho ophendulayo
- 4. Uma une "thina khuluma"
- 5. Uma uvala izinhlelo zakho zokuphola online
- 6. Lapho nikholwa ngokweqiniso komunye nomunye
Kunokuningi okubhaliwe ezimpawu zokuthi umshado wakho ulibangise enkantolo yesehlukaniso kulezi zinsuku ukuthi bambalwa ababheke okunye - lapho ulibangise ealtare.
Wazi kanjani ukuthi ubudlelwane bakho buzohlala njalo? Endimeni yomdanso wokuqomisana, kunezihlanganiso ezibalulekile ezichaza ukuthi ukuxhumana kuya ngakwindlela yomshado. Uyakhumbula eyakho?
Ukuxhumeka kumayelana nezikhathi futhi ukuya ekuzibophezeleni kubandakanya umkhondo wazo. Ekulaleleni izifungo zomshado izolo emshadweni wabantu abaqalayo ukuzwa ngezwa behlanganyela 'izikhathi' lapho ngamunye wabo ezwa khona ukuthi isibopho sabo siya siqina futhi umzuzu ngamunye ukuthi bazi kahle ukuthi nguye.
Uma ukhumbula lezo zinkumbulo, zingafaka okukodwa noma ngaphezulu kokulandelayo, okuningi engikubone izolo.
1. Lapho izinyathelo zakho ziba ngaphakathi-ukuvumelanisa
Ohambweni olubheke ekuxhumekeni kukhona ukuhlangana. Lapho niqala ukuqedelana imibono yomunye nomunye, lindelani izidingo zomunye nomunye futhi nibe yihange lomunye nomunye kunokunyakaza kulolo hlangothi. Ebonakala engathandeki, uDana umemezele. .
"Kwakungalesi sikhathi ekuseni lapho afaka khona izingubo zami esikhwameni sakhe sokuwasha lapho ngangazi ukuthi kuzoba isikhashana".
KuStu, lowo mzuzu wafika lapho uDana efuna ukuthi aqokelwe udokotela ophuthumayo ngosuku ayenomhlangano omkhulu webhizinisi ngalo. Kungalezi zikhathi lapho u- “Mina” eba “thina” futhi u- “wena” eba “thina”; umkhumbi-mbumbulu uyakha.
2. Uma welulela umlingani wakho ngaphambi kwanoma ngubani omunye
Lapho ubona ukuthi ufinyelela kumlingani wakho ngaphambi kwanoma ngubani omunye, uthola ukuthi umlingani wakho ungumngane wakho omkhulu. Ekuqaleni, bonke ubudlelwano buthanda kakhulu futhi ngokusho kukaDkt Helen Fisher, uthando luyisidakamizwa. Ningabantu ababaluleke kakhulu komunye nomunye futhi kwesinye isikhathi ukuphela kwabantu isikhashana ezimpilweni zomunye nomunye. Ukuthi ozakwethu bayazisana — okungenani ekuqaleni — ukukhipha abanye ngaphandle, kuyisibonakaliso sokukhula kwemikhumbi yokuqala.
Lapho imibhangqwana izisusa, yize okwesikhashana, emhlabeni wayo, akusona isibonakaliso esibi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Sekuseduze ukuthi bangene kabusha ezweni labo ngokuhlukile, manje njengababili hhayi njengabantu ngabanye. Ukushintsha kwabo noma okubaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni babo kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi balibangise ukuchitha izimpilo zabo ndawonye.
Ngokusho kukaPeter. .
“Ngibonile ukuthi ngizohlukanisa uJan ngedwa futhi ngikhathazekile ngokuthi akunampilo kodwa ngemuva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa ngiphinde ngamngenisa emibuthanweni yami. . . yilapho engabona khona ukuthi uzoba khona isikhathi eside ”.
KuJan, bekungenye into. .
"Ngesikhathi ngitshelwa ngomsebenzi omkhulu wamazinyo obudingeka ngaya kuPeter esikhundleni sikamama."
3. Lapho eba ngumlingani wakho ophendulayo
Njengoba umdanso uqhubeka, izinyathelo ziyavumelaniswa ngokwengeziwe. Ebudlelwaneni obakhekayo, abalingani baba umlingani wokuphendula komunye nomunye. Baye 'bahlole' komunye nomunye okuyingxenye enempilo futhi echazayo yobudlelwano nabalingani. Labo abenza lokhu banomthwalo komunye nomunye kuqala. Imibhalo ye- "GM" ne- "GN" iyingxenye yalokhu, ukwamukela usuku nokuvuma ukwehlukana ezinyathelweni zokuqala. Ubudlelwano obuthatha lezo zinyathelo kuyizimpawu zokuthi izinto seziba zimbi kakhulu.
KuGwen, ukubikwa kwezindaba zezokwelapha kwakungumzuzu obalulekile. .
"Ngesikhathi ngithola ucingo luvela kuDoug kulandela ukuvakashela udokotela wakhe wamathambo ngabona ukuthi ... ngaleso sikhathi ngangazi ukuthi uDoug wayengikhathalela ngokwanele ukuthi angabelana ngalolu lwazi ngesikhathi esifanele futhi saba yunithi".
Lokhu kungenela kwakhe kwakuwuphawu lothando lwakhe olukhulayo nothando.
4. Uma une "thina khuluma"
Ukuqonda e-altare kuncishiswe inani elikhulayo lokukhuluma 'kwethu' okungukuthi, uzithatha njengomkhumbi-mbhangqwana. Ukusuka ku-'I 'uye ku' thina 'kubalulekile ngoba kuchaza indawo yabashadikazi.
KuSara, kwakusendizeni njengoba babelungiselela ukuhamba. .
"Ngesikhathi ngizwa uDan ebuza umphathi wendiza ukuthi bangakwazi yini ukuhlala ngaphambili ngoba" 'sinesikhala esifushane ", ngezwa okuthile ezwini lakhe futhi ngalowo mzuzu, ngasondela kancane kuye enhlanganweni yethu. ”
5. Uma uvala izinhlelo zakho zokuphola online
Lapho u-Amanda ethatha isinqumo sokuhlola i- match.com wayazi ukuthi yisikhathi esifanele. Wayekade ekhona kuhlelo lokusebenza ngezikhathi ezithile ukuze aphishekele izingoma zakhe ezintsha futhi ahlole ngezikhathi ezithile isimo seJordani esiku-inthanethi. Kepha manje akasasizwanga isidingo sokuthi izinketho zakhe zivulwe noma aqhubeke nokuhlola umlingani wakhe.
Lokho kusho ukuthi, ukuvala izinhlelo zakho zokusebenza zokuphola nokuqomisana eziku-inthanethi kuwuphawu lokuthi ubudlelwano bakho okungenani buqondiswe kumuntu oyedwa, isandulela, uqobo, e-altare. Yize abantu namuhla lapho bethandana bavame 'ukushiya izinketho zabo zivulekile' njengoba kulula kakhulu ngokufinyelela esinakho ngezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola. Lapho lezo sezivaliwe isivumelwano senziwa okungenani engqondweni yomunye, okuholela ekutheni omunye enze okufanayo.
Kubike u-Amanda. . .
"Sibe 'nenkulumo' futhi ngabuza uJordani ngobukhona bakhe kwi-intanethi, engangikwazi kahle kusuka ekuhloleni ngezikhathi ezithile. Uthe akasadingi ukubheka futhi uvala i-akhawunti yakhe. Kimina, leso bekuyisinyathelo esibucayi. ”
6. Lapho nikholwa ngokweqiniso komunye nomunye
Mhlawumbe isici esisodwa esibaluleke kakhulu ekuxhumaneni okunempilo umbono wokuthi abalingani bakholelwa komunye nomunye. Lapho uStephanie ebona ukuthi uJake uzomsiza aqede ngempelasonto yakhe nomndeni wakhe wayazi ukuthi angabhekisa kuye nganoma yini.
"Ngesikhathi engitshela ukuthi uzojoyina nami, azi ukuthi kuzoba nzima kangakanani ukuba sekhaya, nokuthi uzoba yisigaxa engaziyo ukuthi uzobakhona ngokuhamba kwesikhathi".
Njengoba siqala ukuxhuma sizithola sithatha izeluleko zozakwethu. Inhlonipho, ukunconywa noma umbono wesikhashana nje - 'Ngiyakholelwa kuwe', uqala ukwakheka. Inhlonipho ibaluleke kakhulu futhi uma lokho kuqala, ikakhulukazi nezinye izimpawu. Kungasho ukuthi isimo esihlala njalo sisefomini.
Ubudala, ukukhanga, ubuhlakani kanye nempumelelo akubalulekile. Ngisho nekamelo lokulala; njengomelaphi wezocansi, akumangazi ukuthi lezi zikhathi akuvamile neze ngezocansi. Yizikhathi zokuxhuma ezibalulekile. Yizo lezo zikhathi nokuningi njengoba sikhula ndawonye okudingeka sibambe futhi sikhumbule.