Kungani Abesilisa Bashiya Owesifazane Abamthandayo?

Umlobi: Monica Porter
Usuku Lokudalwa: 19 Hamba 2021
Ukuvuselela Usuku: 27 Ujuni 2024
Anonim
Kungani Abesilisa Bashiya Owesifazane Abamthandayo? - Incwadi Ehlukene Yengqondo
Kungani Abesilisa Bashiya Owesifazane Abamthandayo? - Incwadi Ehlukene Yengqondo

-Delile

Yini eyenza indoda ishiye umkayo iye komunye umuntu wesifazane? Umbuzo wonke umuntu wesifazane awubuze okungenani kanye empilweni yakhe.

Ukushiyelwa omunye umuntu kushiya abashadile bebuza ukuthi, "Ungishiyeleni uma ebengithanda?" futhi angamshiya ezizwa engelutho futhi eyedwa.

Kunezizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani amadoda eshiya abesifazane abathandayo. Ngisho nomshado ojabulisa kakhulu ungahluleka. Nazi izincazelo ezingama-20 zokuthi kungani kwenzeka lokhu.

Izizathu ezingama-20 zokuthi kungani amadoda eshiya abesifazane abathandayo

Kungakhathaza ingqondo ukuzama ukunquma ukuthi kungani amadoda eshiya abesifazane abahle, kepha iqiniso likhona izizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani indoda ingahle ingajabuli emshadweni wayo.

Qhubeka ufunda ukuthola ukuthi yini eyenza indoda ishiye umkayo iye komunye umuntu wesifazane. Kungani amadoda eshiya abesifazane, ayathanda.

1. Ubulili babungekho

Amadoda ayizidalwa zocansi, futhi lokhu kuvame ukuthi kungani amadoda eshiya abesifazane abathandayo. Ama-hormone abo alawula okuningi abakwenzayo. Uma ucansi lungekho ekhaya, bangaqala ukubheka kwenye indawo ukondla isifiso sabo.


Uma bengafuni ukuthandana, bangavele bafise ukuqeda ubudlelwano babo bamanje ngokuthanda ukuxhumana okunecala kakhulu ngokocansi.

Akukhona nje ukuthi ucansi lubi futhi lumnandi, kepha futhi lunezinzuzo ezingokomzwelo.

Ucwaningo olushicilelwe yiJenali Yezempilo Nokuziphatha Komphakathi lithole ukuthi ukwenza ucansi, ikakhulukazi okuholela kwi-orgasm, kubangela ukukhishwa kwehomoni ye-oxytocin. Le hormone ibhekele ukuphakama kwemizwelo, ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka, nokuhlangana kothando phakathi kwabalingani.

Ukusondelana ngokwengeziwe ngokomzimba emshadweni, i-oxytocin eyengeziwe lapho indoda igcwala khona.

Le hormone inamandla kakhulu; ezinye izifundo ziphakamisa ukuthi kubhekele ukuthi indoda ibe ngowesilisa oyedwa.

Ngaphandle kwe-oxytocin, ubuhlobo buzohlupheka. Indoda kungenzeka ingasazizwa ixhumene ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba nomkayo.

2. Usuphenduka umama wakhe

Ayikho into emnandi ngokuhlala nomuntu okukhumbuza omunye wabazali bakho.

Inkosikazi eyi-nag noma ephatha umyeni wayo njengengane ngeke igcine umshado onempilo isikhathi eside.


Indoda ingaphuma kumkayo ivune umuntu omenza azizwe enekhono, owesilisa, futhi efiswa.

3. Wazizwa esetshenziswa

Abaningi bacabanga ukuthi amadoda ayahamba aye komunye wesifazane, kepha lokho akuhlali kunjalo.

Abesilisa bangabahlinzeki bemvelo. Zakhiwa ngomzwelo onakekelayo obenza bafune ukuvikela nokuhlinzeka labo ababathandayo.

Kepha, uma indoda izwa sengathi isetshenziswa ngumkayo, ingahle ifune ukubushiya ubudlelwano.

Abesilisa abashadile bashiya omkabo ngokwengxenye ngoba baqala ukuzizwa benganakwa.

Elinye iphephabhuku lezocwaningo laphakamisa ukuthi amazwi okubonga awenzi nje kuphela ukuthi umlingani azizwe ekhethekile kepha afaka isandla ekuzikhuliseni, ekwanelisekeni okukhulu ebuhlotsheni, ekuzinikeleni kakhudlwana ebuhlotsheni, kanye nemizwa ephakeme yokusekelwa.

Uma indoda izwa ukuthi ayaziswa noma ukuthi unkosikazi wayo unaye kuphela ngemali yakhe, angabona njengesizathu sokuqeda ubudlelwano.

4. Akukho ukusondelana ngokomzwelo

Ngisho nabesilisa abangahlanyi ngokuhlanganyela imizwa yabo badinga ukusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni wabo.


Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ukuxhumana okujulile lapho bobabili abalingani bezwa ukuphepha, uthando, nokwethembana.

Ukuntuleka kokusondelana ngokomzwelo kunomthelela ebudlelwaneni bezempilo obubi futhi kungaba yisizathu sokuthi kungani amadoda eshiya abesifazane abathandayo.

5. Ubudlelwano babukhandla ngokomzwelo

Abesifazane abaningi bayazibuza, “Kungani angishiyile uma engithanda?” ngoba okunye ukuhlukana kuzwakala sengathi akuveli ndawo.

I-CDC ibika ukuthi abalingani abaningi bacabanga ngokuthola isehlukaniso ngokwesilinganiso seminyaka emibili ngaphambi kokuthi babhekane naso.

Ngakho-ke ngenkathi ukuhlukana kungabonakala kuphuma emkhakheni wesobunxele womfazi, kungenzeka ukuthi umyeni wakhe ubesenesikhathi eside ezizwa ekhokhiswa intela ngokomoya ngaphambi kokukhetha ukuqeda umshado.

Abesilisa bangazizwa bethathekile ngokomzwelo lapho kunedrama eyeqile ebudlelwaneni babo.

6. Ukuntuleka kokugqugquzela ubuhlakani

Abesilisa bafuna ukuphonswa inselelo ngabalingani babo.

Owesifazane ocabangayo wabelana ngemibono yakhe, futhi ufunda ngokungaguquguquki uzogcina indoda yakhe izinzwani zakhe.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma indoda izwa sengathi umkayo akasavuseleli ngokwengqondo, ingaqala ukuphelelwa wuthando emshadweni wabo.

7. Isibopho esikhulu

Isizathu esisodwa esenza amadoda ashiye abesifazane abathandayo yingoba azizwa ukuthi athwale umthwalo omningi ebudlelwaneni.

Ezinye izizathu zalokhu kungaba:

  • Isiphakamiso sokuhamba noma sokuthenga ikhaya elikhudlwana
  • Umqondo wokuba nezingane uyabethusa
  • Ithemba lokuthatha esinye isikweletu / umuzwa wokuthi bakhokha ngokungafanele ngobuningi bezezimali zomshado
  • Ukuzibophezela impilo yonke kubenza baqaphele
  • Ukunakekela unkosikazi ogulayo noma ukuthatha amalungu omndeni wakhe

8. Ukulahleka kokuheha

Ukuheha akuyona yonke into emshadweni, kepha lokho akusho ukuthi akubalulekile. Ukuheha kunomthelela ekuzijabuliseni ngocansi futhi kukhulisa ukuxhumana kwabashadikazi.

Amadoda afuna ukuzizwa ekhangwa omkawo. Noma kungajula kangakanani, ukuntuleka kokuheha ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba kungaba yikho okwenza indoda ishiye umkayo iye komunye umuntu wesifazane.

9. Wathola omunye umuntu

Isasasa lokuthile okusha livame ukwenza ukuthi amadoda ashiye abesifazane abathandayo.

Intombi entsha isesimweni sothando lomdlwane. Akafaki umsindo futhi usenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukuba abe "intombazane epholile" ezojabulisa umlingani wakhe omusha.

Lokhu kuyathandeka kowesilisa, ikakhulukazi uma esenkingeni yomshado ongajabulisi noma ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside obutholile.

Kepha, kunesisho esithi "Wonke umuntu wesifazane uba ngumfazi."

Lokhu kusho ukuthi noma into yokudlala ecwebezelayo, entsha, ethandekayo empilweni yendoda ekugcineni izophenduka inkosikazi ephethe kahle efuna iphile ngezindinganiso ezithile.

10. Uzwa iFOMO

I-Intanethi yenze ukukopela kumlingani wakho kwaba lula kunakuqala.

Izinhlobonhlobo zezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola, amawebhusayithi, nezikhangiso eziku-inthanethi zingaqala ukwenza amadoda azizwe sengathi ukunqoba kwawo okuhle kwezothando kuseduze kwekhoneni.

Umyeni one-FOMO ngalokho abanye besifazane abangatholakala kuye kungamenza ashiye umshado wakhe.

11. Ukwesaba ukulahleka kwakhe

Esinye sezizathu ezivame kakhulu zokuthi kungani amadoda eshiya abesifazane abathandayo yingoba azizwa engaxhumekile kubo.

Manje njengoba sebebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele, bangathola ukuthi:

  • Chitha isikhathi esincane nabangani
  • Awunaso isikhathi esanele sezinto azithandayo
  • Kulahleke ukuxhumana nobani ngaphambi kokushada

Iqiniso elilula ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi amadoda ayabaleka uma ethandana. Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ayekuzwa nomkakhe kungenzeka kwakukukhulu kakhulu ukuba angakuthatha.

Umyeni kungenzeka ukuthi wezwa sengathi uzilahlekisela yena futhi wakhula isifiso esikhulu sokubuyela emhlabeni futhi akhumbule ubunikazi bakhe.

12. Uzwa sengathi uyi-project

Ukuzizwa njengephrojekthi yikhona okwenza indoda ishiye umkayo iye komunye umuntu wesifazane.

Ayikho indoda efuna ukuzizwa sengathi isetshenzelwa njalo.

Uma unkosikazi wakhe enza sengathi uyiphrojekthi noma okuthile okufanele 'kulungiswe,' kungathatha umthwalo ekuzihlonipheni kwakhe futhi kuvuse umqondo wokushiya engqondweni yakhe.

13. Ubudlelwano bunobuthi

Amakhosikazi amaningi angabuza: Kungani angishiyile uma engithanda? Kwesinye isikhathi impendulo ayihlangene nakancane nokuphuma othandweni nayo yonke into nokuba ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi.

Ubudlelwano obunobuthi ngulapho abalingani bengasekeli khona, futhi kubonakala sengathi kunengxabano eqhubekayo. Ezinye izimpawu zobudlelwano obunobuthi zifaka:

  • Umona ongenampilo
  • Ukuphikisana njalo ngaphandle kwesixazululo
  • Ukuphawula okwehlisa isithunzi kozakwethu noma mayelana naye
  • Ukulawula ukuziphatha
  • Ukungathembeki
  • Ukuziphatha okungalungile kwezezimali (umlingani untshontsha imali noma uthenga izinto ezinkulu ngaphandle kwengxoxo njengezithandani)
  • Ukungathembeki
  • Ukungahloniphi okungaguquguquki okuvela kunkosikazi

Ubudlelwano bunobuthi lapho abalingani beveza izimfanelo ezimbi kakhulu komunye nomunye.

Uthando aluhlali luphilile. Lapho abalingani bengahloniphi futhi behlukumezeka ngamabomu komunye nomunye, kungaba yinkomba enhle yokuthi kungani amadoda ehlukanisa nabesifazane abathandayo.

14. Ulimele

Ukungathembeki komfazi kuyisizathu esivamile esenza amadoda ashiye abesifazane abathandayo.

Kunzima ukudlula ukudabuka kwenhliziyo, ikakhulukazi lapho ukudabuka kwenhliziyo kubangelwa ukungathembeki noma ukukhaphela ukwethenjwa kothile.

Uma unkosikazi engathembekanga kumyeni wakhe, inhliziyo yakhe ephukile ingamenza aqede umshado athole omunye ozobuyisa injabulo yakhe.

15. Ozakwethu abachithi isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye

Yini eyenza indoda ishiye umkayo iye komunye umuntu wesifazane? Ukuxhumeka okuhlulekayo.

I-Institute for Family Study ithole ukuthi ukwahlukana ngesinye sezizathu ezivame kakhulu ukuthi kungani imibhangqwana idivosa.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, i-Journal of Marriage and Family ibika ukuthi imibhangqwana echitha isikhathi esinempilo ndawonye iba nezingcindezi nezenjabulo enkulu. Imibhangqwana echitha isikhathi ndawonye njalo ithuthukisa amakhono ayo okuxhumana, imakhemikhali yezocansi futhi mancane amathuba okuthi bagcine behlukene.

Uma imibhangqwana ingasanikezani ukunaka kwayo okuhlukanisiwe, kungahle kube nomthelela kubantu besilisa abayeka ubudlelwano.

16. Ukuntuleka kwenhlonipho

Ukuntuleka kwenhlonipho kungaba yinto enkulu ekwenzeni ukuthi indoda ishiye umkayo iye komunye umuntu wesifazane.

  • Izimpawu unkosikazi angazihloniphi umyeni wakhe yilezi:
  • Ukugcina izimfihlo kumyeni wakhe
  • Kaningi simnikeza ukwelashwa buthule
  • Usebenzisa ukungazethembi komyeni kuye
  • Ukungayihloniphi imingcele yomuntu siqu
  • Engasigcini isikhathi somyeni wakhe
  • Ukuphazamisa umyeni wakhe njalo lapho ekhuluma

Inhlonipho iyinto esemqoka ebudlelwaneni obunempilo. Uma umfazi engayihloniphi indoda yakhe, kungadala izinkinga.

17. Izinhloso zobudlelwano besikhathi eside azifani

Ukungafani kwemibono ngekusasa lobudlelwano bakhe bamanje kungenza amadoda ashiye abesifazane abathandayo.

Ukuze ube nomshado ophumelelayo, imibhangqwana kufanele ibe ekhasini elilodwa lokuthi ibona kuphi izinto zihamba.

  • Ingabe kufanele bahlale ndawonye?
  • Ngabe bafuna ukushada?
  • Ngabe bobabili bajabule ngokuqala umndeni ngelinye ilanga?
  • Ngabe bazohlanganyela noma bahlukanise izimali zabo?
  • Bazibona behlala kuphi eminyakeni emihlanu?
  • Iyiphi indima ezobanjwa ngabasekhweni ebudlelwaneni?

Ukuba nemibono eqinile, nehlukene ngalezi zindaba kungenza impilo yomshado ibe nzima kakhulu.

Isibonelo, indoda efuna ukuba nezingane ingenza umlingani wayo azizwe enecala ngokungafuni into efanayo. Ngenye indlela, angazizwa sengathi udela okuthile okubalulekile kuye futhi acasukele umkakhe.

Lapho owesilisa ehamba ebudlelwaneni, kungahle kube ngenxa yokufuna izinto ezehlukile empilweni kunomlingani wakhe.

18. Ukusatshiswa noma ukuncintisana

Abesilisa bangasho ukuthi bafuna owesifazane osebenza kanzima onothando

mayelana nomsebenzi wakhe, kepha uma ephumelela kakhulu, kungamsabisa.

Amadoda ancintisanayo angahle angamthandi owesifazane ongusomabhizinisi ophumelelayo. I-ego elimele noma ukungazizwa ubalulekile emshadweni kungaba yinto eshukumisayo kulokho okwenza indoda ishiye umkayo.

19. Ukuntula ukwazisa

Amadoda afuna ukuzizwa eziswa kakhulu njengoba kwenza abesifazane.

Ukubonga kushukumisela abalingani ukuthi bahlanganyele ekunakekelweni kobudlelwano - ukugcina imishado yabo ijabule futhi iphilile.

Umbukiso ojwayelekile wokubonga uphinde wakhonjiswa ukubikezela ukwanda kokwaneliseka kobudlelwano, ukuzibophezela kanye nokutshalwa kwezimali.

Ngaphandle kokubonga, amadoda angaqala ukuzizwa engathandeki ebudlelwaneni bawo futhi afune ukuqinisekiswa ngaphandle komshado.

Kule vidiyo engezansi, uChapel Hill uchaza ucwaningo lwakhe lokuthi ukubonga kuyithinta kanjani imizwa yabalingani bezothando komunye nomunye, kanye nesitayela sabo sokuhlobene:

20. Ukudinwa okulula

Kwesinye isikhathi isizathu sokuthi amadoda ashiye abesifazane abathandayo asihlangene nokuthi owesifazane ube unkosikazi noma umlingani omubi.

Kwesinye isikhathi, amadoda avele abhoreke.

Ngemuva kokuba ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside isikhathi esithile, indoda ingaqala ukuzwa ukulunywa ukubuyela lapho. Mhlawumbe ufuna ukudabula ukujaha bese ezwa okuthile okusha ngokocansi.

Yini eyenza indoda ishiye umkayo iye komunye wesifazane mhlawumbe ngoba ithuba selizivezile.

Kalula nje; uhamba ngoba uyakwazi.

Ucabangani owesifazane uma indoda yakhe imshiya?

Ukwehlukana kuyalimaza futhi kuyacindezela, ikakhulukazi uma uthembise ukuhlala ndawonye ebunzimeni nasebunzimeni. Ukwehlukana noma isehlukaniso kuholela ekwehleni kokwaneliseka kwempilo kanye nokwanda kokucindezeleka kwengqondo.

Lapho owesilisa efaka isehlukaniso, unkosikazi wakhe angahle asale ezibuza ukuthi kungani amadoda ebashiya abafazi bawo?

  • Kungani angishiyile uma engithanda?
  • Wayengahamba kanjani kude nezingane zakhe?
  • Yiziphi izizathu ezenza amadoda ashiye abesifazane abathandayo?
  • Lokhu kwavela ndawo!
  • Kungani angishiyele yena?

Yonke le yimibuzo enengqondo ngokuphelele owesifazane azofuna izimpendulo kuyo. Ukuxhumana nomlingani wakhe kungasiza ekukhanyiseni okungahambanga kahle ebudlelwaneni.

Uma indoda izimisele, ukwelulekwa kwezithandani kungasiza ekubuyiseni umshado ochithekile futhi kubuyise ukwethembana okulahlekile endleleni.

Unkosikazi oshiye ngemuva, ezungeze ngohlelo lokusekela olunothando lomndeni nabangane angasiza ekunciphiseni lokhu kucindezeleka.

Uma indoda ishiya umkayo iye komunye umuntu wesifazane, ingabe kuhlala njalo?

Uma indoda ishiya umkayo iye komunye umuntu wesifazane, ingabe kuhlala njalo? Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ngeke.

Izibalo ezishicilelwe yi-Infidelity Help Group zithole ukuthi u-25% wezindaba uzophela kungapheli isonto lokuqala kuqalwe kuthi u-65% uphele zingakapheli izinyanga eziyisithupha.

Uma ngabe lolu daba luqhubeka nomshado, kusenokungahle kuholele ekujabuleni okuthe xaxa. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ama-60% ayo yonke imishado yesibili izogcina ngesehlukaniso.

Isiphetho

Yini eyenza indoda ishiye umkayo iye komunye umuntu wesifazane? Impendulo ivame ukuxhomeka nethuba.

Uma indoda inesithukuthezi emshadweni wayo noma ikholelwa ukuthi kukhona okushodayo ngokocansi noma ngokomzwelo, ingaqala ifune izizathu zokushiya ubudlelwano nomuntu omusha.

Kwesinye isikhathi abesilisa bayabaleka uma bethandana, befuna ukuvuselela inhlansi yokungashadi.

Kungani amadoda eshiya abesifazane abathandayo kungaba yinoma yiziphi izizathu.

Ubudlelwano obunobuthi, ukusetshenziswa, ukuzizwa ngichithe ngokomoya, noma ukuhlangana nomuntu omusha nakho kungaba nomthelela kulokho okwenza indoda ishiye unkosikazi wayo.

Unkosikazi osele ngemuva angazibuza ukuthi kwenzekeni ebudlelwaneni bakhe obabunenjabulo. Ukuya kokwelulekwa kwezithandani nokuxhumana nomyeni wakhe kungasiza ekusindiseni umshado.