-Delile
- 1. Izindlela zokwelashwa kwezithandani ezigxile ngokomzwelo
- 2. Ukwelashwa okuhle kwengqondo kwezithandani
- 3. Indlela yeGottman
- 4. Ukwelulekwa ngemishado nezenkolo
- 5. Ukwelulekwa komuntu ngamunye
- 6. Ukwelashwa okulandisayo
- 7. Ukwelashwa kobudlelwano be-Imago
- Indlela ye-Psychodynamic
- 9. Ukwelulekwa ngokuqonda
Lapho uzwa amagama athi “ukwelulekwa kwezithandani,” noma “izindlela zokwelapha imibhangqwana”Yini into yokuqala efika emqondweni? Mhlawumbe ubona ngeso lengqondo umbhangqwana ungazwani, uhleli kusofa ukhuluma nomeluleki wemishado.
Kungenzeka kube yilokho ukwelulekwa ngomshado okuvame ukubukeka, kepha bewazi ukuthi kunezindlela ezahlukahlukene ezahlukahlukene?
Into yokuqala okufanele uyenze lapho ucabanga ngokweluleka imibhangqwana ukuthola umeluleki omuhle emshadweni.
Umeluleki ngamunye wemishado wehlukile, uhlobo lwendlela yokwelulekwa yehlukile, futhi umshado ngamunye wehlukile, ngakho-ke ukuthola umentshisi kubalulekile.
Umeluleki omuhle womshado uzoba nolwazi ekusizeni abashadile ngezinkinga zabo, futhi bazokwazi izindlela noma izindlela ezahlukahlukene ezingasetshenziswa ngempumelelo.
Kunezinhlobo eziningi ezahlukahlukene zamasu / izindlela / izindlela zokwelashwa kwezithandani. Ukufunda ngakunye kwazo okungasiza uma udlula ekwelashweni kwezithandani.
Nazi ezinye izinhlobo ezahlukene zokwelashwa kwezithandani nezinhlobo zamasu wokweluleka ngomshado:
1. Izindlela zokwelashwa kwezithandani ezigxile ngokomzwelo
Le ndlela yokwelapha yasungulwa nguDkt. Susan Johnson noLes Greenberg. Njengoba igama likhombisa, imizwa idlala indima enkulu lapha.
Iyasebenza impela futhi isetshenziswa emhlabeni wonke. Kusiza ikakhulukazi uma ukudangala kuyingxenye yendaba yobudlelwano.
Le ndlela isebenzisa umbono wokunamathisela, noma umqondo wokuthi njengabantu sifuna ukuhlanganiswa ndawonye. Kepha izingqinamba zingavela futhi zigijimele ekungeneni.
Lolu hlobo lwe inqubo yokwelapha imibhangqwana isiza imibhangqwana ukunqoba leyo mizwa emibi futhi iqinise isibopho sayo.
2. Ukwelashwa okuhle kwengqondo kwezithandani
Ngokuhambisana nemizwa, le ndlela yokwelapha imibhangqwana igxile emizweni emihle. Ngempela, kwabanye, ushintsho olukhulu ngombono, olungashintsha imicabango nokuziphatha, okungathuthukisa ubudlelwano.
Ku-psychology enhle, ufunda ukujabulela injabulo njengoba kwenzeka futhi ugxile enjabulweni okwamanje. Lokhu kusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ibone izikhathi ezijabulisayo ezinazo njengamanje, bese-ke zingakhela phezu kwalokho.
Ukubhala ephephabhukwini bese uluhlanganyela nomelaphi kuyisici esibalulekile sale ndlela.
3. Indlela yeGottman
Njengoba iminyaka engama-30 ingemuva kwayo, abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi sekuzibonakalise njengenqubo yokweluleka imibhangqwana esebenzayo. Uma wena noshade naye nizizwa nibambekile impela futhi kubonakala ngathi anivumelani, lokhu kungaba yindlela enhle ebudlelwaneni benu.
Le ndlela yokwelapha imibhangqwana iyakusiza niqondane njengawe xhumana ngomoya ophansi.
Isebenzisa into ebizwa ngokuthi “amamephu wothando” okuyinto oyakhayo. Kusiza nina nobabili ukuthi nifunde ngomunye nomunye njengoba nithola izinto ezibacindezelayo, ezibenza bajabule, njll.
Sekukonke, indlela kaGottman igxile ekulawuleni izingxabano, ngokwethembeka enhliziyweni yayo.
4. Ukwelulekwa ngemishado nezenkolo
Uma uyingxenye yeqembu lezenkolo, bona ukuthi iziphi izinhlobo zokwelulekwa ezitholakalayo esontweni lakho. Njengoba inkolo yakho iyinto enkulu emshadweni wakho, lolu hlobo lokwelulekwa lungaba usizo kuwe.
Ungase futhi uzizwe ukhululekile kulolu hlobo lokusetha, olungasiza ukusetha isigaba sokwelapha.
Izindlela ziyahlukahluka, kepha ukwelashwa okususelwa enkolweni kwemibhangqwana kubiza izici ezingokomoya okungenzeka ukuthi usuvele uzikholelwa futhi uziphila ukuze zikusize ubhekane nezinkinga.
5. Ukwelulekwa komuntu ngamunye
Uma omunye wabashadile engakwazi noma ezimisele ukwelapha imibhangqwana, khona-ke umlingani ozimisele futhi okwaziyo kufanele nakanjani acabangele ukuyenzela yedwa. Umelaphi angasiza umlingani oyedwa asebenze ngezinkinga ezisekupheleni kwabo.
Ngokusobala, uma omunye umuntu engathandi ukulungisa le nkinga, khona-ke ubudlelwano abunakukwazi ukuqhubekela phambili.
Kodwa-ke, enqubeni yokuthi abanye baye ekwelulekeni ngawodwana, kwesinye isikhathi omunye oshade naye ufudumala kancane emcabangweni bese kamuva ajoyina abalingani babo ukuthola ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana.
6. Ukwelashwa okulandisayo
Ukulandisa kusho indaba, futhi empeleni leyo yingxenye yale ndlela yokwelashwa kwezithandani. Uzoxoxa indaba bese udala "ukulandisa" ngokwenzekayo. Kepha-ke, nizosebenzisana ukubhala kabusha izingxenye ezingathandeki zendaba.
Into enhle ngalokhu inqubo yokwelashwa kwezithandani ingabe kusiza abashadikazi ukuthi bazihlukanise nendaba, bebona ukuthi le ndaba ayikuchazi njengabantu.
Iphinde ifundise ukuthi indaba iyashintsha. Nobabili ningabhala kabusha indaba yenu yesikhathi esizayo ndawonye.
7. Ukwelashwa kobudlelwano be-Imago
Kuthuthukiswe nguHarville Hendrix noHelen Lakelly Hunt, lolu hlobo lwezokwelapha lugxila kakhulu ezicini zokomoya nezokuziphatha.
I-Imago yigama lesiLatini elisho "isithombe," futhi lolu hlobo lwezokwelapha luzama ukusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ibone ukuthi ubuchopho bayo busebenza kanjani futhi babone izindlela abaphila ngayo.
Ngokuyisisekelo, le ndlela yokwelapha imibhangqwana ithi sikhetha abalingani abangakwazi ukwelapha okushodayo kusuka ebuntwaneni bethu, futhi lawo manxeba azophindwa nomlingani wethu.
Kule ndlela yokwelapha imibhangqwana, imibhangqwana funda ukusebenza ngokubambisana nokukhulumisana ngezinkinga.
Indlela ye-Psychodynamic
Lolu hlobo lokwelashwa lusiza ikakhulukazi lapho abalingani besabela emaphethini angenangqondo, okukholelwa ukuthi azalwa yimicimbi yokuphila kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho ebuntwaneni.
Isibonelo, uma ukuhlukunyezwa bekuyingxenye yesikhathi esidlule somuntu, kungaholela emoneni noma singekho isizathu sako.
Kulolu hlobo lokwelashwa, umeluleki uzokusiza ugxile empandeni yenkinga, kwesinye isikhathi engaqulekile futhi eyinkinga yomuntu ngamunye noma yezithandani.
Bazokusiza ukuthi ubone umbono ongokoqobo wemicimbi edlule eyakha isimilo samanje.
9. Ukwelulekwa ngokuqonda
Kuthuthukiswe nguBill Doherty, e-University of Minnesota, lolu hlobo lokwelulekwa ikakhulukazi imibhangqwana lapho omunye umlingani encike ekuhlukaniseni kanti omunye akunjalo.
Le ndlela yokwelapha imibhangqwana iyabasiza ukuthi bathole ukuthi umuntu ngamunye ufunani, nokuthi ubudlelwano busindisa yini. Esikhundleni sokuxazulula izingqinamba, kubheka ukuthi ukuxazulula kungenzeka yini. Ikona imvamisa indlela yesikhashana.
Ukwelashwa komshado kuyindlela enhle kuleyo mibhangqwana efuna ukulungisa ukungaboni ngaso linye ngosizo lomeluleki oqeqeshiwe.
Kunezindlela eziningi zokwelapha imibhangqwana ehlukene, izindlela, futhi indlela izoncika kumeluleki wemishado kanye nasezindabeni ezenzeka ebudlelwaneni bezithandani.
Kungakho kubalulekile njalo ukukhetha umeluleki omuhle womshado nobabili enizizwa nikhululekile ngaye futhi eningamethemba.