-Delile
Sonke siyazi ukuthi yini imisebenzi yasekhaya: yilezo zinto ezidingekayo okufanele zenziwe ukuze sisize izimpilo zethu zihambe kahle. Noma yilezo zinto omama bethu abasitshele ukuthi sizenze futhi kwesinye isikhathi, sawathobela. Abaningi bethu batshelwa ngenkathi besakhula ukuthi ucansi yinto okufanele siyibeke eceleni kuze kube semshadweni, kulindeleke ukuthi uma sesithi "ngiyakwenza" kwaba ucansi oluningi ngendlela esasingaba nayo impilo yethu yonke. Lokhu kungenzeka kweminye imishado, yize kungenjalo konke, futhi kwezinye izimo ezithile, ucansi lungazizwa lungumsebenzi koyedwa noma kubo bobabili abalingani.
Isimo 1
Lapho omunye umlingani ene-sex drive ephakeme kunenye, ucansi lungazizwa luyisicefe kumlingani one-libido ephansi. Kulesi sibonelo, ubulili bungazizwa njengombango wamandla kulokho umlingani onedrayivu ephansi uzizwa ebophekile ukuya ocansini ukuze agcine umlingani wakhe enentshisekelo futhi ekhuthazekile emshadweni. Umlingani ophethe idrayivu ephakeme angazizwa sengathi uphoqelela oshade naye ukuthi enze okuthile okungafunwa noma angazama ukuxazulula inkinga ngokuhlalisa isidingo sabo socansi kwenye indawo (kungaba nabanye abalingani, ngezithombe zocansi, njll). Ukuphatha i-libido eyehlukile kujwayelekile kwesinye isikhathi emishadweni eminingi njengamazinga ama-hormone nesifiso sokuguquguquka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ukwazi ezinye izindlela zokufeza ukusondelana okungagxile kuphela kwezocansi kungaba usizo olukhulu.
Isimo 2
Lapho umbhangqwana ulinganisa ngenkuthalo ubulili nokwakhiwa komndeni, imfihlakalo nokuzenzakalela kwesenzo kuyanyamalala. Lokhu kuyiqiniso uma umbhangqwana uya ocansini nsuku zonke ukuze ukhulelwe, ulawula izinselelo zokuzala, noma uzama ukukhulelwa futhi ngemuva kokulahlekelwa ukukhulelwa. Ngayinye yalezi zici inezinselelo zayo, kepha babelana ngendikimba yokuthi ucansi luthathwa njengomsebenzi kunokuba lube yinto emnandi noma isenzo sokusondelana. Esimweni esinjalo, kungaba nzima ngomlingani oyedwa ukuthi "angene kuso" noma umlingani abe nomuzwa wokuthi kukhona okulindelwe maqondana nokusebenza.
Kuneqiniso kulokhu okukhathazayo: uma ucansi kungumsebenzi, kunzima ukujabula ngakho futhi kukhona okulindelekile ngokuqondene nokujula. Ukuzama ukwenza sengathi lezi zimo azikho kungazithuthukisa, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuthi abalingani bakhulume ngendlela abazizwa ngayo ngalezi zinhlobo zemizwa ethinta ucansi. Lapho enza ukwelashwa kokuzala, udokotela angenza ukwenqatshelwa ukuya ocansini njengoba kungathinta inqubo yokubuyisa futhi kudale ukukhulelwa kokuphindaphindeka. Esimweni sokulahleka kokukhulelwa, ucansi lungasondelana kakhulu nomqondo wokukhulelwa, okukhombisa emuva ukwesaba okunye ukulahleka. Le ndlela yokucabanga ingavimbela ucansi.
Ukuya ocansini (noma cha) ngaphansi kwezimo zokuthi othile — njengodokotela- (noma okuthile — njengokuvuthwa kwegazi) okunye okuyalelayo akuvamile ukuba ngocansi. Eminye imibhangqwana iyakwazi ukuletha amahlaya esithombeni esingasiza. Abanye bangadlula ocansini olungena ngenhloso yokuthanda ezinye izinhlobo zocansi noma ubudlelwano obuseduze. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukuxhumana okuqhubekayo kuyisihluthulelo.