Yini Ekuqinisekisa Ukuba Ushiye Umshado Wakho?

-Delile

• 1. Isibopho ngokomzwelo
• 2. Ukungaqondi kahle kwezezimali
• 3. Ukungabi nokwaneliseka ngokocansi
• 4. Ukungahambi kahle okuholela empikiswaneni engapheli
• 5. Ukunqanyulwa okungokomzwelo

Ngabe usesikhathini lapho ungenaso isiqiniseko sokuthi umshado uyaqedwa noma uqhubeke nokuhlala unethemba lomshado ongcono ongcono? Ubudlelwano busekusikhathi sekhefu, lesi yisikhathi sokushiya umshado ukuze uzinikeze ijubane elanele ngaphandle kwethonya lozakwethu lokuvuselela amandla futhi uhlele amasu okuthi ngabe usafuna yini ukukuzama noma ufuna ukukuqeda. Ukushiya umshado akuwuqedi, yize, ngokuya ngezinkinga, ungagcina ngesehlukaniso. Kufanele kube isivumelwano sobabili bese imigqa yokuxhumana ivulekile ikakhulukazi umlingani okhetha isinqumo esinjalo.

Kuyinto ephula inhliziyo; umcabango wokuthi uqale impilo kabusha kude noshade naye wakha icala nokukhaphela. Uma ngabe nihlale ndawonye isikhathi esingaphezu kweminyaka engu-5 lapho-ke nidinga ukuhlangana okulungile komuntu wesithathu ukuze nidlule kukho ngaphandle kokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo. Yini engakuqinisekisa ukuthi ushiye umshado?

1. Isibopho ngokomzwelo

Umshado uyindaba yamaqembu amabili lapho omunye ezwa ukuthi uthwala umthwalo ongokomzwelo wokuwenza usebenze, udlulisa umuzwa wokungeneliseki. Lapho umlingani ofanayo ethatha wonke umthwalo wokugcina impilo yothando iphila, impela, kuyamqeda amandla emphefumulweni ukukhetha ukunika omunye umlingani isikhala njengesivivinyo sokuthi udlala indima ebalulekile yini ezimpilweni zabo.

Isimo esibi kakhulu sifika lapho uveza imizwa yakho kumlingani wakho futhi engenzi mzamo wokusindisa umshado ngakho-ke ayikho enye indlela ngaphandle kokushiya ubudlelwano baphakamise ifulegi elibomvu kumthelela wokuziba imizwa yomuntu.

2. Ukungaqondi kahle kwezezimali

Njengoba umndeni ukhula, umthwalo wemali nawo uyakhula. Abelaphi bemishado beluleka imibhangqwana ukuthi ivulekele izimali zayo futhi yenze isabelomali kukho konke okulindelwe kwezezimali. Uma umlingani oyedwa ekhetha ukugcina eyimfihlo kumarekhodi ezezimali enikeza umlingani oyedwa ukuthwala zonke izibopho zezezimali emndenini, lokho kudlulisa ukungabi naluthando nenhlonipho koshade naye ophethe. Kusho nokuthi kunokuntuleka kokuzibophezela emshadweni. Ungaba kanjani nemali emndenini bese uvumela umlingani wakho ukuthi anakekele zonke izidingo zezezimali ngaphandle kosizo lwakho? Lowo akuwona umshado.

3. Ukungabi nokwaneliseka ngokocansi

Uma ushiya indlu yabazali bakho uyoshada- ubheka izinto ezintathu ngokulandelana kwazo: ubungani, ukwaneliseka ngokocansi, nezingane. Imibhangqwana esencane iyaya ocansini, empeleni, imvamisa nokuqina kwesifiso sayo sobulili kuphakeme kunemibhangqwana esele ikhulile. Kwenzekani lapho omunye umlingani ekhetha ukwenqaba amanye amalungelo okuhlangana ngaphandle kwesizathu esizwakalayo? Umuzwa wokwenqatshwa nowokungabikho ezitshalweni zothando phezulu okwenza ukuthi umlingani "onqatshiwe" afune induduzo kwenye indawo.

Lapho isenzo sifika ekugcwalisekeni komlingani; ukungathembani nokungathembani kuthatha indawo ephambili enyunyaneni. Vele, ungabuyisana futhi ufune ukuxolelwa. Kwenzekani lapho umlingani engakwazi ukudedela ubuhlobo obusha?

4. Ukungahambi kahle okuholela empikiswaneni engapheli

Ukungaqondi kahle eminyakeni yokuqala yomshado kuyinto ejwayelekile. Ngosizo lwabazali bakho noma lomeluleki, udlula esiteji kalula. Ukunqoba impikiswano, umlingani kufanele ahlehle futhi azidele, ngemuva kwezingxoxo zokubheka izingqinamba ngokubuka ngakunye, inkinga iba lapho uhlala unokungezwani ngaphandle kwesixazululo sokuthula. Amadoda aba yizisulu njengoba ezwa ukuthi ahluleka ukulawula imizwa yowakwakhe ebenza bathambekele ekushiyeni umshado noma bazibandakanye nemikhuba eyingozi emndenini njengokuphuza nokuhlala ngaphandle kuze kuphele amahora ukugwema izingxabano. Abesifazane abakwazi ukubhekana nakho isikhathi eside, ukushiya umshado kube inketho elandelayo.

5. Ukunqanyulwa okungokomzwelo

Ngokwemvelo, abesifazane bafuna konke ukunakwa nokwaziswa; kuyabacasula lapho kufanele bancintisane nothile noma kunalokho bafuna ukunakwa kwakho ngoba "umatasa". Bayasazisa isikhathi somndeni, uma siphuthelwa emshadweni womshado, nakanjani sizohluleka. Abesilisa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, badinga inkululeko kanye namandla okuphatha ngokuphelele abafazi babo. Uma kunokuxhumana okungalungile phakathi kwabashadikazi kulokho okulindelwe-ke bacela ngokuzithandela ukwehlukana.

Ukushiya umshado nemithetho ecacile ngenhloso yokuvumela oshade naye ukuthi afune umphefumulo ohlangothini lomshado kunempilo. Ukuxakaniseka kwezinkinga eziholela ekwehlukaneni kunquma ubude bokwehlukana noma isehlukaniso. Njengoba ukhetha ukushiya umshado, hamba ngomqondo ovulekile ukuze ubuyise umshado noma ulahlekelwe ngokuphelele ngoba uma umlingani wakho engaboni ukuthi bekufanele uzodlulela phambili.