-Delile
- Kuyini ukwesaba uthando (Philophobia)
- Izimpawu eziyi-10 ohlangabezana nokwesaba uthando
- Yini ebangela ukwesaba uthando?
- Izindlela eziyi-10 zokunqoba ukwesaba kwakho uthando
- 1. Bheka umlando wakho wezothando ukuze wenqatshwe
- 2. Uzizwa kanjani ngawe
- 3. Yeka ukulalela izwi elingaphakathi
- 4. Qiniseka ukuthi umuntu odonseke kuye ukulungele
- 5. Ukuba sengozini akuyona into embi
- 6. Zama ukukhululeka ungalindeli okuningi
- 7. Bhala umuzwa wakho
- 8. Cabanga ukuhlala ngaphandle komuntu oqala ukumthanda
- 9. Dedela ukulawula
- 10. Yazi ukuthi uyinkinga
- Imicabango yokugcina
Ukuba nokwesaba uthando kuyinto yokwesaba kwangempela. I-phobia ngokwemigomo yezokwelapha ibona ukwesaba okungenangqondo noma okweqile kwesimo, into, umuzwa, indawo, isilwane, okwenza ukwethuka kumuntu. Ukwesaba uthando kubizwa ngokuthi “i-philophobia.” UPhilos ungowesiGreki ngokuthanda, kanti uPhobos ukhombisa ukwesaba.
Izichazamazwi zezokwelapha azinalutho lo msebenzi, futhi ochwepheshe bayivelakancane ekukhulumeni ngawo ezincwadini, okudala inselelo kulabo abaphethwe yilesi simo lapho bezama ukuqonda imizwa yabo noma, ngaphezulu kwalokho, ukubheka ukuholwa ekuphatheni i-phobia.
Emphakathini wezokwelapha, ukwesaba noma ama-phobias angena ngaphansi kwesigaba sokukhathazeka kokukhathazeka, nabantu bebonisa kuphela izimpawu lapho bebhekene nento abayesabayo.
Endabeni ye-philophobia, inkomba ukuthi abantu babhekana nokuhlangana okungenangqondo noma kwehaba kwengozi uma kukhulunywa ngothando.
Banethuba lokuba nokwethuka nokukhathazeka benomcabango wothando nje abathi ochwepheshe bezokwelapha balubiza ngokuthi “yinto elindelekile yokukhathazeka.”
Kuyini ukwesaba uthando (Philophobia)
Noma ngabe abantu bayayikhetha noma cha, uthando luthola indlela yokungena empilweni yomuntu wonke, ikakhulukazi lapho kungalindelekile khona.
Abanye abantu abawuboni lo mqondo njengesenzakalo senhlanhla. Esikhundleni salokho besaba ukwenzeka kuze kufike ezingeni lokuthi besabe ngokungenangqondo ukuthandana noma besabe ubudlelwano.
Isayensi ikubeka njenge-phobia yokuthandana, ikakhulukazi i-philophobia - ukwesaba uthando.
Le phobia noma ukwesaba ngokweqile ukuthanda umuntu kuyiqiniso futhi kuyabacindezela abanye kuze kube nokuthuthuka phezu komqondo nje womzwelo noma yini ekude kakhulu.
Kukhona amathuba okuba nezikhathi zokukhathazeka lapho isiteleka siqhubeka maqondana nempilo yothando lomuntu.
Futhi Zama: Ingabe Ngiyayesaba Imibuzo Yothando
Izimpawu eziyi-10 ohlangabezana nokwesaba uthando
Ungaba ngumuntu ongabekezeleli izimpawu zansuku zonke, kepha abanye bahlupheka usuku ngalunye, okwenza kube nzima ukuthuthukisa nokufana kwempilo yansuku zonke.
Izimpawu okufanele uzinake uma uthanda i-phobic zifaka (lezi zivamile ngama-phobias amaningi):
- Ikhanda elikhanyayo
- Ayimile
- Umjuluko
- Enesiyezi
- Isicanucanu
- Ukuthuthumela / Ukuthuthumela
- I-Palpitations / Umjaho Wenhliziyo
- Mfushane Wokuphefumula
- Ukucasuka Kwesisu
- Ithuna / Isiqephu Sokukhathazeka
Lezi zimpawu azichaziwe emibhalweni yezokwelapha ngochwepheshe bezokwelapha njengamanje.
Okukhombisa ukuthi umphakathi okhokhelwayo udinga ukuthuthukisa imininingwane eminingi kulabo abesaba ukuthanda ukuthola ukuqonda okungcono komcabango wokuba nezinketho ezethembisayo zokwelashwa ezitholakalayo zabagulayo.
Yini ebangela ukwesaba uthando?
Umphakathi wezokwelapha, kubandakanya izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo nodokotela bengqondo, uzama ukuqonda kangcono izimbangela zokwesaba uthando.
Iziphakamiso zikhomba izinto ezithile zokuthi kungani abanye bethola uthando lungasabisa, njengokuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana, isehlakalo esibuhlungu, noma mhlawumbe ufuzo.
Noma ngubani ongesaba ukungathandwa futhi noma, ngaphezulu, ukwenqatshwa kuzokugwema ukungena ebudlelwaneni, ngakho-ke alikho ithuba lokuhlazeka noma lifake engozini yokuziqhenya kwabo lapho lokho kwenzeka.
Labo asebevele babhekana nokwenqatshwa, njengesehlukaniso noma ukwahlukana okubi, bavame ukubekezelela ukwesaba uthando.
Izindlela eziyi-10 zokunqoba ukwesaba kwakho uthando
I-Philophobia ichaza ukuthi kuyini ukwesaba uthando. Ukwesaba okumangazayo kuletha isizungu, ukuhlala wedwa, nesizungu, okwenza abantu bazizwe bengafanelani nomphakathi futhi belangazelela izinto ezinhle zothando.
Ngenkathi kukhona ukwesaba okuhambisana nokuzivumela uthande othile, lokho akusho ukuthi awunaso isifiso sokuthola uthando nokuhlakulela ukuthanda ngokomzwelo.
Abantu abaningi abesaba ukuthandwa bafuna izindlela zokushintsha isikhundla sabo futhi bafunde ukuthi bangakunqoba kanjani ukwesaba uthando.
Ukunqoba noma iyiphi i-phobia kuyinselele emangalisayo, kepha lokho akusho ukuthi akunakwenzeka. Ake sibheke izindlela ezimbalwa ongazama ngazo ukwesaba.
1. Bheka umlando wakho wezothando ukuze wenqatshwe
Ukuzinika isikhathi sokubheka ngokujulile ebudlelwaneni obudlule bothando obudlule kungakusiza ukuthi unqume lapho okungenzeka ukuthi wezwa khona ukwenqatshwa, ubuhlungu, mhlawumbe umzuzu owawukhathaza ukuzethemba kwakho.
Noma yiziphi zalezo zinto zinamandla okudala ukwesaba ukuqhubekela phambili ngokubandakanyeka nomunye umuntu.
Uma kungakaze kube khona isikhathi sokuphulukisa noma ubungekho uhlelo lokusekelwa ukukusiza kuleso sehlakalo esibuhlungu, lokhu kungaba yimpande ye-philophobia yakho. Kungasebenza njengendawo yokuqala yokwelashwa.
2. Uzizwa kanjani ngawe
Ukuzithanda kubaluleke kakhulu ukuze ukwazi ukuthanda noma ukuthanda omunye umuntu. Ukuze uzithande, kufanele ube nokuzethemba nokuzethemba. Lokho kusho ukuthi ungawabona amaphuzu akho amahle, kepha futhi ungawabona amaphutha bese uwamukela.
Uyajabula esikhunjeni sakho. Akukho ukuhlala kokungalungile ngawe nemizamo engapheli yokuzilungisa.
Uma ungumuntu ozibeka phansi njalo, noma kunjalo, lawo manxeba aba khona, adinga ukuzihlaziya nokusebenza ukuze azibheke ngendlela enempilo kakhulu.
Lokho kungasho ukwelulekwa ukuze uqonde kangcono ukuthi kungani ungeke ukwazi ukuzimisela ngokwakho.
3. Yeka ukulalela izwi elingaphakathi
Wonke umuntu unalelo lizwi elingaphakathi elihlala likhuluma nathi mayelana nokuhle nokuthi yini okungalungile, okufanele sikwenze nokungafanele sikwenze, nokuthi yini okudingeka sikhathazeke ngayo hhayi kangako.
Lelo zwi lifaka ukwesaba, kufaka phakathi okungenangqondo njengokwesaba uthando.
Ake sithi wake waba nezinkumbulo ezinhle zezikhathi ezimnandi uma kukhulunywa ngezothando, ngokwesibonelo, impilo ende nabazali abajabulayo, izingane zakini emishadweni enothando, abangane ebudlelwaneni obuhambisanayo. Uma kunjalo, lelo zwi likunikeza imininingwane engalungile lapho likweluleka ukuthi ubheke uthando ngokwesaba.
Kwakha umuzwa wokuba sengozini futhi akuvumeli ukuthi ukhulule ukuze ukwazi ukujabulela zonke izinto wonke umuntu okuzungezile abhekana nazo.
Into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukuzama ukubona ukuthi yini okudala lapho usondela ekuhlangabezaneni nezothando bese uzama ukunqoba lezo zifiso zokubaleka.
4. Qiniseka ukuthi umuntu odonseke kuye ukulungele
Impela, asikwazi ukukhetha ukuthi sithandana nobani. Kungaphezu kwamandla. Kodwa-ke, labo abasempilweni yakho abakhethi futhi bayakwazi ukusho uma othile elungile noma engalungile nokuthi kungani.
Abantu abaningi bavame ukwehluleka ukuzwa ukuthi abangane nomndeni bathini uma kuziwa ezindabeni zenhliziyo.
Kepha uma uchitha isikhathi nomuntu abanye ababona amafulegi amakhulu abomvu, naka izexwayiso zokugwema okungenzeka ukuthi ungeze ukukhathazeka kwakho ngokuzayo.
5. Ukuba sengozini akuyona into embi
Kaningi, abantu bayesaba ukuzwa imizwa yabo, futhi abanye bakholelwa ukuthi ukuba sengozini kuyisibonakaliso sobuthakathaka. Kulungile ukuba sengozini, futhi kulungile ukwesaba uthando.
Eqinisweni, inani labantu elibaluleke ngaphezu kokungenzeka ukuthi linama-philophobia amaningi kunalokho abakukhathalelayo ukuvuma.
Kuyethusa ukuzibandakanya nothile futhi uzibeka emgqeni wokunqatshwa okungaba khona. Akekho ofuna ukulinyazwa. Futhi kudinga umuntu onesibindi ukuxhumana lezo zinto.
Uma uthola umuntu ozizwa unamathele kuye, inhloso enkulu ukunqoba ukwesaba kwakho, futhi indlela ekahle yokwenza lokho ukuvula inhliziyo yakho ubatshele ngokunembile lokho obhekene nakho.
Ungase umangale ukuthola ukuthi omunye umuntu wethukile futhi.
Ukwazi okwengeziwe mayelana nokuba sengozini kwamandla akho amakhulu bukela le vidiyo:
6. Zama ukukhululeka ungalindeli okuningi
Uma uphuma nomuntu okokuqala ngqa (mhlawumbe amahlandla ambalwa emva kwalokho), ngicela ungafaki kakhulu kukho.
Makube yisikhathi sokuzijabulisa esikhundleni sokukhathazeka ngokuthi "ukuthandana." Asikho isidingo sokuthi kufakwe amalebula. Lokho kwenza izinto zibe nzima kakhulu futhi kudala ukukhathazeka kuwo wonke umuntu obandakanyekayo.
Khululeka futhi ujabulele inkampani. Okwenzekayo kusuka kulelo phuzu kuzogcina sekungokwemvelo futhi kulula.
7. Bhala umuzwa wakho
Ukubhala phansi indlela ozizwa ngayo nokuthi ucabangani kungenza izimo zibonakale zingesabi kangako futhi zisize ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka esibhekene nakho.
Imvamisa abantu bavame ukukhanyisa imicabango efanayo ngokuqhubekayo, kepha uma isephepheni, kulula ukubhekana nabo.
Ungaphinda ufunde uphindele emuva kulokho okubhalile bese uzama ukulinganisa imizwa noma ubone ukungabi nangqondo kwabo.
Ukuyifaka kubhukwana kukuvumela ukuthi uzibone kusuka kwilensi ehlukile, engavula amehlo akho.
8. Cabanga ukuhlala ngaphandle komuntu oqala ukumthanda
Uma unomuntu othile, uhlakulela u- “like” ngoba wesaba ukuthi kungenzeka kuphenduke okungaphezu kwalokho, zinike isikhathi sokubheka impilo yakho ukube lowo muntu ubengekho kuyo.
Umuntu ojabulela ukuchitha isikhathi naye ngeke anyamalale, kepha kuthiwani uma bekwenza? Yini eyayizokwenzeka kuwe?
Indlela ezwakalayo yokunqoba ukwesaba ukucabanga iqiniso lokuthi wawuchuma ngaphambi kokuqhamuka kothandana naye, futhi uma bekufanele "bakushiye", ungaqhubeka ulunge.
Isisekelo se-Philophobia ukwesaba uthando okungenangqondo, futhi isisekelo esibalulekile salokho kungaba ngenxa yokulahlwa okwedlule noma "ukulahlwa" okuthinta ngokungaqondile ubudlelwano besikhathi esizayo.
Okudingayo ukuzama ukuziletha ukukuqonda ukunqoba ukwesaba ukuthi uzimele futhi uyakwazi. Umlingani ungukugcizelela empilweni yakho.
Uma kungenzeka okuthile kwenzeke abangasafuni ukuba yingxenye yayo, ungaqhubeka nokwenza kahle uwedwa.
9. Dedela ukulawula
Ukwesaba uthando kuwumzamo wokulawula imizwa yakho kanye neyabantu abaseduze kwakho. Uma uzama ukulawula zonke izici zempilo yakho, kungakhathaza ngokweqiniso futhi kubangele ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka okuningi kunokuba kufanele.
Noma kunjalo, uthando lwenzeka lapho ungalilindelanga, noma ngabe uyafuna noma cha. Akuyona into ongayimisa ngoba uzoyithola.
Ungalimaza umuntu, kufaka phakathi wena, ngokuqeda okuthile okusebenzela indlela eya othandweni.
Lokho kumane nje kuqinisa izizathu zokubambelela kulokho kwesaba. Yekela ukulawula bese ubona ukuthi kwenzekani lapho uvumela izinto zithathe inkambo yazo.
10. Yazi ukuthi uyinkinga
Uma ukusebenzisana okujabulelayo kepha uvalo luqala ukusetha ngoba uthando seluqala ukukhula, awungeke uzizwe wena uphendula ukwesaba, kepha owakwakho uyazizwa izinguquko nakuwe.
Iqala ukubuthinta kabi ubudlelwano ngoba awuyena umuntu ofanayo nowawuthandana naye ekuqaleni.
Uba nombono ongemuhle, uphatheke kabi ngokuthi omunye umuntu uzoshiya, bese uqala ukubacindezela.
Ukuphela kwendlela yokulungisa izinto ukubuyela kulokho owawunguye ngenkathi uqala ukuthandana noshintsho oluphelele lomqondo ukuvimbela inyunyana ngokuqhubekayo. Ngokukhathazeka kakhulu ngokwenqatshwa, empeleni ungakugqugquzela ungahlosile.
Imicabango yokugcina
I-phobia ukwesaba okungenangqondo noma okuyihaba. Kulabo abahlaselwa ukwesaba, kubonakala kunengqondo impela. Umbono we-philophobia noma ukwesaba uthando ungadabukisa ngokukhethekile kulabo abanezimpawu.
Abantu bazwakalisa ukuntula ukuzihlanganisa nomphakathi futhi balahlekelwa yimizwa emihle, enothando esikhundleni sokuphila okungenalutho. Kuyindida ukuthi basunduzele kude abantu okuthi, emehlweni abo, kuthi ngesikhathi esithile babalimaze ngokubala.
Bagqugquzela ukuhlukana ngokucindezela ubudlelwane obungahle bube sempilweni yonke, obusemgangathweni, beshiya abalingani abathandanayo bedidekile yilokhu.
Kunezinto ezivezwe lapha ongazama ukuqeda ukwesaba. Kuthatha umzamo omangalisayo nesifiso sangempela, kepha uthando lufanele impela.