-Delile
- 1. Ukuba khona ngezidingo zabo ezingokomzwelo
- 2. Ukukhulumisana ngenhlonipho
- 3. Ukuthinta okungaphezulu komzimba
- 4. Beka umshado wakho kuqala
- 5. Khipha
Akukwenzeka ngobusuku obubodwa. Kufana nenqubo ende, ehamba kancane, ecashile kangangokuba ungahle ungaboni ukuthi kuyenzeka. Kodwa ngolunye usuku, uvuka, futhi ikhona: ukhona uzizwe unqanyuliwe ebuhlotsheni bakho.
Kuza isikhathi kuyo yonke imishado lapho ukuxhumana okuqinile owakuzwile kumlingani wakho kubonakala kunciphile, noma kungekho. Kwenzeka kanjani lokhu? Futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, yiziphi ezinye izindlela zokuxhumana futhi noshade naye?
Ibonakala kanjani imizwa engokomzwelo?
Ukuzwa ibanga ebudlelwaneni kuyinto ejwayelekile. Kuvame ukuba sesimweni esihle: umsebenzi wakho uthatha isikhathi sakho esiningi futhi ugxile, noma izingane zifaka izidingo koovimba bakho bomphefumulo ukuze kungabikho okuncane okushiyelwe umlingani wakho.
Yonke imishado izobhekana nokwehla futhi igelezele emuzwa wokuxhuma umlingani ngamunye azizwa ebhekene nomunye, ngezikhathi zokuzwa ukuxhumeka okwedlulele ngezikhathi lapho uzizwa ungenakho ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni.
Kubalulekile ukugcina umkhondo wokunqanyulwa okungokomzwelo emshadweni ngoba awufuni umuzwa wokunqanyulwa koshade naye ujule futhi uthathe izimpande. Thatha isinyathelo ngaphambi kokuba lokho kwenzeke, futhi kuzoba lula ukukwenza xhuma kabusha nomyeni wakho.
Ungaxhumana kanjani kabusha noshade naye
Khohlwa ukuthinta okukhulu kwalokho abezindaba abasikhombisa kona: uthando alukho ngezipho ezibizayo kanye nezimbali zezimbali zama-rose abomvu. Imibhangqwana yesikhathi eside yazi ukuthi ukuxhumana kweqiniso, okuhlala njalo kwakhiwe ngezikhathi ezincane kodwa ezivamile zothando lweqiniso.
Lezi zikhathi ezisondelene, zansuku zonke zibalulekile ekwakheni (nokwakha kabusha) ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo lapho bonke ubudlelwane obujabulisayo nobunempilo bukhula kahle.
Izindlela ezincane zokuxhumana futhi nomlingani owenza umthelela omkhulu
Usuzikhohliwe zonke izinto ezincane obukade uzenza ekuqaleni komshado wakho ukuxhuma nomyeni wakho? Ake sibheke ezinye zalezi:
1. Ukuba khona ngezidingo zabo ezingokomzwelo
Kusho ukuthini lokhu? Kusho ukuthi uma umlingani wakho eza kuwe enenkinga, uyamlalela, bese uyalalela. Umnaka ngokugcwele.
Awubheki ifoni yakho ngenkathi uthi, “Uh-hum. Kwesokudla. Qhubeka." Uphendulela umzimba wakho kuye ukukhombisa ukuthi utshale imali kulokho akushoyo. Uzizwa ezwakala. Futhi lokhu kuvusa umuzwa wokuxhumana ngokomzwelo. Okukhulisa futhi kuthuthukise ubudlelwano bakho bothando.
2. Ukukhulumisana ngenhlonipho
Ukuxhumana kabusha noshade naye kudinga ukuxhumana okunenhlonipho. Mhlawumbe eminyakeni edlule yomshado wakho, uqoqe intukuthelo ethile ngokuthile umlingani wakho angakunaki ukukwenza, ngokuqhubekayo.
Mhlawumbe isonto ngalinye, kufanele umkhumbuze ukuthi athathe ukuvuselelwa kabusha kunqenqema lomgwaqo. Usumcele kakhulu ukuthi akwenze lokhu njalo ngesonto, ngakho-ke isicelo sakho siyaphuma, "Ungakhumbula kanye ukukhipha ukusebenziseka kabusha?"
Isicelo esakhiwe ngale ndlela singaholela ekwandiseni intukuthelo nokunqamuka phakathi kwakho. Kepha ukwenza izicelo ngenhlonipho kuzokuvuza ngezindlela ezimbili: maningi amathuba okuthi wenze umyeni wakho akunikeze isicelo ngaphandle kwengxabano noma intukuthelo, futhi uzobe usiza ukwakha ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo.
Ezinye izindlela zokuxhumana futhi noshade naye
Kujwayelekile emshadweni wesikhathi eside ukukhohlwa ukwazisa nokubonga umlingani wethu ngezinto zansuku zonke abazenzayo ukugcina izinto zihamba kahle ebudlelwaneni. Ngakho-ke kuthiwani ngokunaka "ukubonga" kanye nezincomo?
Lezi izindlela ezifudumele zokuxhumana futhi noshade naye. “Ngiyabonga kakhulu ngokukhipha lo mshini wokuwasha izitsha namhlanje ekuseni,” kunenza nizizwe kahle. “Ngiyayithanda indlela osiza ngayo ngomsebenzi wasekhaya wezingane,” kukhombisa umyeni wakho ukuthi uyalivuma iqhaza lakhe ekukhuliseni izingane futhi uyamkhuthaza ukuthi aqhubeke.
Lezi yizinto ezincane ezingabizi lutho, kepha hamba ibanga elide ekuqiniseni ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nendoda.
3. Ukuthinta okungaphezulu komzimba
Ukugona, ukuqabula, isandla emhlane ongezansi, ukubhucungwa ihlombe. Ukuxhumana ngokomzimba kuhamba ibanga elide ekuthuthukiseni ukuxhumana kwakho ngokomzwelo.
4. Beka umshado wakho kuqala
Beka, ufuna ukubeka phambili umshado wakho ngaphezu kwakho konke okunye. Lokhu akusho ukuthi awunaki izingane.
Kusho ukuthi ukuxhumana kwakho ngothando, kokubili ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo, kuyisisekelo lapho umndeni wakho ojabule khona wakhelwe khona. Ngakho-ke thatha isikhathi sosuku lobusuku, ukuheha, nobulili. Lokhu kuzogcina ukuxhumana kwakho ngokomzwelo kuqinile futhi kuphila
5. Khipha
Sonke sinomlutha omkhulu kuma-smartphones ethu, i-Netflix yethu, ama-podcast ethu. Lokhu kuthinta ukuxhumana kwethu ubuso nobuso nomlingani wethu. Uma ufika ekhaya kusihlwa, khipha izixhumanisi. Ngaphandle kwezikrini zethu, singaba khona ngokwengeziwe komunye nomunye.
Ngizizwa nginqanyuliwe kumyeni wami. Kufanele ngikhathazeke?
Uma uhlangabezana nenye yalezo zikhathi lapho uzwa khona ukuthi ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo emshadweni wakho akukho, ungaqala ngokuzibuza imibuzo ethile:
- Ingabe kukhona okuthile okwenzekayo emsebenzini okuthatha umkhawulokudonsa wami ongokomzwelo?
- Ngabe nginenkinga yokulinganisa izidingo zezingane zami nezidingo zomyeni wami?
- Ngabe ngithukuthelele umyeni wami, futhi uma kunjalo, yiziphi izizathu?
- Sekunesikhathi esingakanani lo muzwa wokunqanyulwa kumuntu engishade naye uqhubeka?
Manje njengoba usuzibuze imibuzo ethile, kungakuhle ukuthi uhlale phansi noshade naye ubuze ukuthi bazizwa kanjani. Ingabe nabo, bazizwa behlukanisiwe ebudlelwaneni? Nikela isikhathi esithile kule ngxoxo; thola umzuzu ozolile lapho kungaphazamiseki noyedwa kini.
Hlela inkundla yengxoxo eqotho ngomshado wakho. Bhuka umzanyana bese uyaphuma. Imvamisa ukuthatha nje isikhathi sokukhuluma ngokusuka enhliziyweni nomunye kwanele qala ukuxhuma futhi nomyeni wakho.