-Delile
Lapho abantu ababili beshada baqala uhambo ndawonye, uhambo oluzobandakanya inqubo yokufunda impilo yonke. Isinyathelo ngesinyathelo njengoba bexoxisana ngokwenyuka naphansi kwempilo yansuku zonke bazothola amaqiniso amasha ngomunye nomunye. Kuyiphutha elikhulu lapho omunye noma bobabili abalingani becabanga ukuthi: “Hhayi-ke, manje sesishadile, sizohlala sisondelene futhi sisondelene ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze sikwazi ukuphumula futhi sivumele impilo iqhubeke ...” Ukusondelana emshadweni kumele kube njalo okwaziswa, okuvikelwe nokwenziwa. Njengamalangabi eziko angafa kalula uma izinkuni eziningi zengezwa, noma uma amanzi ephonswa kuzo, ngakho-ke ungathola ngolunye usuku ukuthi akukho ukusondelana emshadweni lapho kwakukade kukhona.
Lapho kungekho ukusondelana emiphumeleni yomshado ngokungenakugwenywa kufaka ukwehla kwesifiso sokuba ndawonye futhi umbhangqwana ungazizwa sengathi uphila izimpilo ezimbili ezihlukene ngokuphelele yize behlanganyela endlini nasekamelweni lokulala. Lapho leli phuzu lifinyelelwa futhi lamukelwa yibo bobabili abathintekayo, sekuyisikhathi sokuthi kuthathwe izinyathelo ezinqala ukubuyisa ukusondelana okunempilo emshadweni. Bobabili abashadile badinga ukuzibophezela nokukhuthazeka, babone lokho okulahlekile futhi bazimisele ukusebenzela ukwakha ukusondelana emshadweni kube sezingeni eliphilile.
Izinyathelo ezilandelayo ziyisiqalo esihle sokuqala:
Buyela kuzisekelo
Cabanga emuva kuzo zonke izinto ezikudonsele umlingani wakho kwasekuqaleni. Khumbula lezo zinsuku zokuqala lapho benithandana kangangoba wahluleka ukulinda ukubonana futhi nichithe isikhathi ndawonye futhi kwakukuningi kakhulu eningakhuluma ngakho. Cabanga ngezinto enithanda ukuzenza ndawonye nezindawo enizithandayo. Kuthiwani ngokwenza ngamunye uhlu noma ukubhala incwadi eya othandekayo wakho? Tshelanani zonke lezo zinto enizithandayo futhi enizithandayo ngobuhlobo benu.Kungani ubufuna ukushada ngaleso sikhathi futhi yini esishintshile manje? Kwesinye isikhathi okudingayo isikhathi esithile sokuzindla nokukhumbula okubalulekile kuwe ukuphinda ugxile futhi ubuyise umbono wakho.
Bhekana nezinkinga
Kuyo yonke imishado kunezingqinamba ezithile noma izindawo ezithile zokungezwani ezibanga ubuhlungu nokungqubuzana. Lezi zinkinga emshadweni zidinga ukusingathwa ngokucophelela nokusingathwa kahle ukuze zikhuphule ukusondelana. Kufana nokuhambahamba futhi ube netshe esicathulweni sakho; awukwazi ukukujabulela ukuhamba uze ukhothame, ukhulule isicathulo sakho ukhiphe itshe. Indawo yobulili ingagcwala ukungazethembi kanye nokwesaba okuphuca izithandani injabulo nokwaneliseka okuhloselwe ukukuthola.
Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani beye baba nokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukumezayo noma okungajabulisi esikhathini esidlule. Kwesinye isikhathi kuyadingeka futhi kuzuzise kakhulu ukuthola ukwelulekwa ngochwepheshe ukuze uxazulule lobu bunzima futhi uthole leyo nkululeko yokuzijabulisa ngaphandle kokubekisa. Mhlawumbe ezezimali ziyinkinga? Noma mhlawumbe umndeni owengeziwe nabasekhweni? Noma ngabe yini indaba, lapho nikwazi ukukhuluma ngokuthembeka nangokuvulelekile omunye nomunye ngakho futhi nifinyelele kwisisombululo ndawonye, nizothola ukuthi ukusondelana kwenu kuzokhula kakhulu, njengoba nje nomoya ususwa ngemuva kwesiphepho. Uma lezi zinkinga zinganakwa noma zigcinwa phezulu, zivame ukuba zimbi kunokuzixazulula. Futhi, kuyalulekwa ukuthi ufune ukwelulekwa ngokwengqondo kunokuba uzame futhi “ukungcwaba” izinkinga zakho noma ulwe wedwa.
Hlela izinhloso ezifanayo
Uma usuvuselele amalangabi othando lwakho lokuqala futhi wawasusa amatshe ezicathulweni zakho, sekuyisikhathi sokugxila ekuqhubekeni ebudlelwaneni benu ndawonye. Khuluma ngezinhloso zakho, njengabantu ngabanye nanjengabantu abashadile. Uma unezingane ndawonye, yiziphi izinhloso zakho maqondana nokukhulisa umndeni wakho? Yini imigomo yakho yomsebenzi? Ningasizana kanjani ukufeza izinhloso zenu? Kubalulekile ukuthi nobabili nihlangana ndawonye. Uma uthola ukuthi izinhloso zakho ziyashayisana noma zinemiphumela, kungadingeka ukuthi kuthathwe izinqumo ezibucayi nokuyekethisa. Uma nobabili senicacisiwe ukuthi niyaphi, ningagijima ndawonye nibambane ngezandla. Umuntu ohlakaniphile wake wathi uthando lweqiniso aluhlangene nokubukana kodwa kunalokho indaba yokubheka ndawonye.
Lezi zinyathelo ezintathu zakha iphethini enhle yokugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo nokwandisa ukusondelana emshadweni: khumbula ukuthi kungani washada othandekayo wakho kwasekuqaleni nothando eninalo omunye komunye; zinike isikhathi sokubhekana nezingqinamba nezinkinga eziphakathi kwakho; futhi nisebenzisane ekufinyeleleni imigomo yenu efanayo empilweni.