-Delile
Uma ugibela phezulu othandweni lokuzibandakanya kwakho kwakamuva nokuhlela usuku lwakho olukhulu, into yokugcina ofuna ukuyicabanga ngezinkinga zobudlelwano futhi usebenzela ukugwema isehlukaniso ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado.
Wena, njengabanye abaningi, ungacabanga lobo budlelwano ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado ukuchitha isikhathi nokuthile okuzohlomulisa leyo “eminye imibhangqwana” elwayo futhi engazwani kahle njengoba nenza nesoka lakho. Lokhu akunjalo neze futhi empeleni; ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano ngaphambi komshado sekuyinsakavukela.
Ngakho-ke kuyini ukwelulekwa ngomshado ngaphambi komshado? Ukweluleka imibhangqwana ngaphambi komshado uhlobo lokwelashwa olusiza ekulungiseleleni imibhangqwana ngomshado wayo.
Enye yezinzuzo eziningi zokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado noma iseluleko ngaphambi komshado ukuthi isiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ibone ubuthakathaka bayo futhi yakhe umshado ozinzile, oqinile futhi owenelisayo.
Izinzuzo zokwelulekwa ngobuhlobo
Ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kungakhuthaza imibhangqwana ukuthi ithuthukise ubudlelwano bayo ngokukhulumisana nokuxoxa ngezihloko ezibalulekile emshadweni wazo. Ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kusiza abalingani ukuthi babeke okulindelwe futhi bakhe indlela yokunciphisa nokuxazulula izingxabano.
Kuneziningana izinzuzo zeukwelulekwa ngomshado ngaphambi komshado, noma ngabe ushada okokuqala noma okwesihlanu, kufaka phakathi:
1. Amakhono okuxhumana ngempumelelo enkulu
Ukuxhumana kubaluleke kakhulu ukuze abantu abashadile bagcine umshado wabo ujabulile futhi unempilo. Ukusebenza kwengxoxo phakathi kwakho noshade naye kungaba umehluko phakathi kokuhlala emshadweni noma ukuphuma kuwo.
Ukwehluleka kwabashadikazi ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile nangokukhululekile imibono yabo nemibono yabo kwabalingani babo kuyizikhathi eziningi isizathu sokuthi umshado uqhekeke. I- izinzuzo zokwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado lokho kwenza ukuthi abashadikazi bakwazi ukuzwana kangcono ngokuthola izindlela zokuxhumana kangcono.
Ngesikhathi sokwelulekwa umeluleki wayegudluza imibhangqwana ukuthi ixoxe ngezinto ezibalulekile esikhathini esedlule, samanje, nekusasa labo. Okufana nezinkolelo, amanani, ezezimali, ukuxazululwa kwezingxabano, okulindelwe nokunye okuningi.
2. Amathuluzi okuqinisa ubudlelwano bakho
Ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kunikeza ithuba imibhangqwana ukuthi isebenzise amathuluzi okweluleka nokuhlakanipha komeluleki wayo ukubhekana nanoma yiziphi izingqinamba nokuzilungiselela okuzayo emshadweni wabo.
Okwabo akuyona into efana nezithandani eziphelele noma umshado ophelele, abanye abantu bangcono ekuqondeni abalingani babo noma bafuna usizo kusenesikhathi. Akunandaba ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho buhle kangakanani noma buqinile kangakanani isibopho sabashadikazi abelana ngaso, bonke bangafunda futhi bazuze ekululekweni kwabashadikazi bangaphambi komshado.
Kunconyiwe - Inkambo Yangaphambi Komshado
3. Usizo ekubhekaneni nakho nasekuqhubekeni nasezindabeni zakudala / zakhe
Indlela umuntu alibona ngayo ikusasa lakhe lamanje futhi elingenzeka ithonywe kakhulu yilokho abakuqonda futhi wakufunda kokudlule kwabo. Ngokufanayo, indlela wena nomlingani wakho enibhekana ngayo nezinkinga zenu zobudlelwano incike ekutheni nazixazulula ngempumelelo kangakanani noma ngempumelelo izingqinamba esikhathini esedlule.
Ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kusizakala noma imuphi umbhangqwana ngokubasiza baxoxe ngokukhululekile ngezinkinga ezithile komunye nomunye esikhathini esidlule nokuthi babhekana kanjani nazo. Esikhundleni sokumane ucindezele izinkinga zangaphambilini ngaphansi kombhoxo, ukwelulekwa kukusiza ukuthi ungavumeli intukuthelo ikwakhe ebuhlotsheni bakho futhi ikubeke obala konke.
Ukwazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nezinkinga nezinkinga ezedlule akugcini ngokwakha ukwethembana okwengeziwe emshadweni wakho kepha futhi kukusiza ukuthi ufundise okufanayo ezinganeni zakho. Ukubhekana nezinkinga zakho zangaphambilini kungakufundisa ukuthi ungaqinisekisa kanjani futhi ududuze umlingani wakho noma oshade naye.
4. Ukusebenza ngezinhloso zakho zekusasa
Okokugcina kodwa hhayi okuncane, ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kuyindlela enhle yokuhlola wena nabalingani bakho izifiso nokulindelwe esikhathini esizayo. Ungathola izindlela zokuxoxa ngezinhloso ozibekele zona nokuthi ungazivumelanisa kanjani izinhloso zakho nalezo zabalingani bakho.
Uyakwazi ukwakha umdwebo onokhahlo wokuthi ungaba kuphi emva kwesikhathi esithile empilweni yakho yangasese nasemshadweni wakho. Lokhu futhi kukusiza ukuthi uxoxe ngezinhloso zakho zezezimali, ukuhlela umndeni, futhi wehlise ubungozi bokuhlukaniswa noma ukuhlukaniswa.
Abantu abaningi banombono oyiphutha wokuthi ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano kukhawulelwe kulabo ababhekene nengxabano enkulu. Ukululekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado ingakusiza ukuthi ugweme ukuba nengxabano ongeke uyixazulule ngokukufundisa amakhono okwenza izinto.
Kungaqinisekisa ukuthi ungena emshadweni uzilungiselele ngolwazi lokuveza imizwa yakho futhi ulalelane, okuzokwenza zonke izici zomshado wakho zibe ngcono.
Lapho ingubo yomshado seyipakishiwe futhi i-honeymoon isiphelile, kuzodingeka ubhekane nazo zonke izingxenye ezingokoqobo zomshado, njengezezimali, umsebenzi wasendlini, amashejuli omsebenzi, kanye nazo zonke lezo ezinye izinto eziyisidina ezingavame ukuza phakathi umbhangqwana.
Ukwenza izinqumo ngekusasa lakho, njengokuthi uzohlala kuphi noma ukuthi uzikhulisa kanjani izingane zakho nakho kungacindezela umbhangqwana osanda kushada futhi kubeke ubunzima ebudlelwaneni. Lezi yizinto ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano ezingakusiza ukuzilungiselela.
Yini ongayilindela ekwelulekeni ngobudlelwano ngaphambi komshado
Ngaphandle kokuthi uke waba nohlobo oluthile lokwelulekwa esikhathini esedlule, awunaso isiqiniseko sokuthi yini ongayilindela noma ube nesithombe ekhanda lakho ngokwenzekayo ezelulekweni zemibhangqwana ngokususelwe entweni oyibonile ku-TV. Ngeke ulele embhedeni ukhiphe mayelana nobuntwana bakho noma enye into ethandwayo.
Kungenzeka usebenzise iseshini yakho yokuqala ukhuluma nodokotela ufunda ngale nqubo. Umelaphi kuzothatha isikhashana ukujwayelana kangcono nani njengezithandani futhi ngamunye. Uzobuzwa ngezinto ezifana:
- Kungani uthathe isinqumo sokufuna ukwelulekwa ngokomqondo
- Noma yikuphi ukukhathazeka okuqondile ebudlelwaneni bakho, uma kukhona
- Noma ikuphi ukukhathazeka noma ukwesaba ngomshado noma ngekusasa lakho
- Ukuze uthole okuhle kakhulu ngezikhathi zakho, kufanele uzimisele ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka ukuze umelaphi afunde ukuthi buyini ubudlelwano bobudlelwano bakho nokuthi yini ekuhlanganisayo, yiziphi izinto eniphikisana ngazo, izingcindezi ezingathinta ubudlelwano bakho, kanjani uyaxhumana, yini okungenzeka ayikho ebudlelwaneni bakho, njll.
Abashadikazi bayo yonke iminyaka nezizinda bangazuza kulokho ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado. Amakhono amaningi afundwe ekwelulekeni ngobudlelwano angasetshenziswa nakobunye ubudlelwano empilweni yakho futhi, nakho okungasusa ingcindezi yangaphandle emshadweni.
Ngabe udinga ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado? Thatha Imibuzo