-Delile
- 1. Bona izimpawu ezivamile zokuphazamiseka kwengqondo
- 2. Vuleka futhi uthembeke
- 3. Ungayiphazamisi ingxoxo.
- 4. Woza uzilungiselele ngemibuzo
- 5. Baqinisekise ukuthi uyabathanda futhi uyabakhathalela
- 6. Khuluma nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ufune ukwelashwa
- 7. Qonda ukuthi kuthatha isikhathi ukuthi ube ngcono
- 8. Qhubeka nengxoxo
Ingxenye yalokho okwenza izingqinamba zempilo yengqondo kube nzima kakhulu ukuthi zivame ukungabonakali.
Lapho wena noma othandekayo niphila nokugula kwengqondo, kungahle kungabikho zimpawu ezibonakalayo zomzimba. Esikhundleni salokho, izimpawu zingaphakathi futhi zifihlekile ngaphansi komhlaba.
Ngalesi sizathu, kuvame ukuba nzima kubangani noma emndenini ukuthi baqonde uhlobo lokugula noma ukuthi kungani lungaqeda amandla.
Ngenxa yalokhu, kungahle kungabi lula noma ukhululeke ukukhuluma ngempilo yengqondo, ngisho noshade naye. Noma kunjalo, awuwedwa.
Ukugula ngengqondo kuvame kakhulu kunalokho abantu abaningi abangacabanga. Ngokusho kweNational Institute of Mental Health, umuntu oyedwa kwabayisihlanu e-U.S. Uba nenkinga yempilo yengqondo ngonyaka othile, nezimo ezivame kakhulu ukukhathazeka, kulandele ukucindezeleka.
Noma ngabe uhlala nomlingani wakho onesifo sengqondo, noma wena uhlupheka, kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngempilo yengqondo. Kungase kubonakale kungelula ekuqaleni, kokubili ukukuchaza nokukuqonda.
Ngakho-ke, ungamsiza kanjani umuntu onesifo sengqondo? Ungakhuluma kanjani ngokugula kwengqondo noma impilo yengqondo?
Nawa amathiphu ambalwa wokukusiza ukuthi uqale ukukhuluma ngempilo yengqondo nomlingani wakho.
1. Bona izimpawu ezivamile zokuphazamiseka kwengqondo
Ekuqaleni, oshade naye kungenzeka angakutsheli ngqo ngezinkinga zabo zempilo yengqondo. Kwezinye izimo, kungenzeka bangaboni nokuthi impilo yabo yengqondo ihlupheka.
Uma uqala ukubona ushintsho ekuziphatheni kwabo futhi ucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi balwa nokugula kwengqondo, zama ukuqaphela lezi zimpawu ezilandelayo:
- Ukushintshashintsha kwemizwa okuqhubekayo
- Ukukhala njalo
- Ukukhathazeka ngokweqile nokungafinyeleleki ngencazelo encane noma engenayo nhlobo
- Ukungakwazi ukugxila noma ukuqedela imisebenzi emsebenzini noma esikoleni
- Ukungabi namandla okuqhubekayo
- Ukwehluleka ukujabula ngezinto zempilo
- Izinguquko ezingachazeki emaphethini wokulala noma imizwa yokukhathala
Ngenkathi izimpawu zokugula ngengqondo zehluka, zonke lezi ziyizimpawu ezijwayelekile zokukhathazeka, ukudangala, nezinye izifo zengqondo.
Uma othandekayo wakho ekhombisa izimpawu eziningi ezinsukwini ezimbalwa noma emasontweni, kungahle kube yisikhathi sokuxoxa ngale ndaba futhi ube nengxoxo ngempilo yabo yengqondo.
2. Vuleka futhi uthembeke
Noma ngabe ukhuluma ngempilo yakho yengqondo noma yowakwakho, ukwethembeka kubalulekile.
Kungaba ukungakhululeki futhi kuyinselele ukuvula, kepha ukufihla imizwa yakho kothandekayo wakho kuzodala umonakalo omkhulu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Nobabili kufanele nivumele omunye nomunye akhulume ngokukhululeka futhi angahlali ekwahluleleni.
Lapho nikwazi ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile omunye nomunye, kuzokwazi ukuqonda kangcono. Ukuqonda kangcono, nakho, kuzonisiza nobabili ukubhekana nokugula ngengqondo futhi kunciphise ubunzima ebudlelwaneni benu.
3. Ungayiphazamisi ingxoxo.
Hloniphanani futhi ninikeze umlingani wakho isikhathi abasidingayo sokuxoxa. Le yingxoxo enenjongo, eyinselele.
Enye yezinto zokuqala okufanele uzenze ngenkathi ukhuluma ngempilo yengqondo ukuthi, beka eceleni isikhathi esanele sokuba nengxoxo ephelele.
Nobabili niyodinga isikhathi sokuqonda imizwa yomunye nomunye futhi niveze ukuthi impilo yengqondo noma yoshade naye ibuthinta kanjani ubuhlobo benu.
Noma kukhona ukuphumula noma izikhathi zokuthula phakathi nengxoxo, ungazizwa unesidingo sokukugcwalisa lokho kuthula. Vumelana isikhathi sokucubungula imicabango.
Uma oshade naye enenkinga yempilo yakhe yengqondo, ungazizwa uphoqelekile ukuthi ucindezele iphuzu, uthole izimpendulo, noma "ulungise" isimo sabo ngaleso sikhathi.
Kodwa-ke, kuthatha isikhathi ukuba ngcono, futhi ukuqhuba ingxoxo kungaphazamisa. Esikhundleni salokho lalela umlingani wakho, yiba nesineke, ubanikeze isikhathi abasidingayo.
4. Woza uzilungiselele ngemibuzo
Kungasiza ukungena engxoxweni okulungiselelwe ngemibuzo. Ukubuza imibuzo kungakusiza ukuthi uqonde kangcono ukuthi oshade naye uzizwa kanjani.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, imibuzo ingakhombisa ukuthi ubathatha ngokungathí sina futhi ukhathazekile ngempilo yabo yengqondo. Uma oshade naye enenkinga yokukhulumisana, imibuzo ingasiza futhi ekuqondiseni ingxoxo.
Izibonelo zemibuzo ongayibuza zifaka:
- Ungakwazi yini ukuchaza ukuthi uzizwa kanjani?
- Isikhathi esingakanani uzizwe kanjena?
- Ngabe kukhona okwenzekile ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuzizwa ngale ndlela?
- Ngingakusiza kanjani?
Nikeza oshade naye isikhathi sokucabanga nokuphendula. Ngokufanayo, uma umlingani wakho ekubuza imibuzo, khumbula ukuthi akudingeki uphendule yonke imibuzo.
Kwesinye isikhathi ungahle ungazi ukuthi uzobaphendula kanjani, noma umane ungabi nayo impendulo.
5. Baqinisekise ukuthi uyabathanda futhi uyabakhathalela
Lapho uhlala nokugula ngengqondo, kungaba lula ukuzizwa sengathi ungumthwalo kwabanye empilweni yakho, ikakhulukazi umlingani wakho.
Uma oshade naye eqala ukukhuluma ngempilo yakhe yengqondo, enye yezinto zokuqala ongayenza ngukuqinisekisa ukuthi uyabathanda futhi ulungele ukwenza lokho basekele.
Ukuqinisekiswa nokwesekwa kungasiza kakhulu ozakwenu ukuthi azizwe ekhululekile ekuxhumaneni nawe ngokukhululekile nangokuthembekile esikhathini esizayo.
Ngokwengeziwe, ukukhombisa uthando lwakho nokubasekela kungabasiza banqobe noma yiziphi izinkathazo zokuqala noma ukungafuni ukufuna ukwelashwa impilo yabo yengqondo.
6. Khuluma nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ufune ukwelashwa
Ukunakekela impilo yakho yengqondo sekungavele kube yinselele, kepha kuba inselele enkulu nakakhulu uma uhlala nokugula kwengqondo. Ngenhlanhla, wena noshade naye aninodwa.
Kunezinketho zokwelashwa eziningi ezitholakalayo, kufaka phakathi ukwelashwa, imithi, noma inhlanganisela yakho kokubili.
Ukufuna usizo ekuqaleni kungahle kuzizwe njengomsebenzi owesabekayo, kepha ukuzitholela ukwelashwa wena noma umlingani wakho kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuba ngcono. Zinike isikhathi sokukhuluma ndawonye mayelana nokwelashwa nokuthi ungameseka kanjani oshade naye kulo lonke lolu hlelo.
Kungaba usizo ukuya ekwelashweni nomlingani wakho, ikakhulukazi ezimweni lapho impilo yengqondo ibeka ubunzima ebudlelwaneni bakho. Kwezinye izimo, kungadingeka ngisho nokufuna imibhangqwana noma ukwelashwa komshado.
Buka le vidiyo ukuze uqonde ukubaluleka kokukhuluma ngempilo yengqondo.
7. Qonda ukuthi kuthatha isikhathi ukuthi ube ngcono
Ukukhuluma ngempilo yengqondo akulula njengoba kubonakala. Ukugula ngengqondo kungaba nezimbangela eziningana, futhi kungakuthatha isikhathi eside ukuqonda isizathu esiqondile.
Kwesinye isikhathi kuba sesimweni, njengokushintsha kwempilo enkulu noma ukulahlekelwa othandekayo. Ngezinye izikhathi, kunomlando womndeni wokugula ngengqondo, futhi imbangela iyizakhi zofuzo.
Kungakhathalekile ukuthi siyini isizathu, kuthatha isikhathi ukuba ngcono. Uma wena noma oshade naye nifuna ukwelashwa, kungathatha isikhathi ukuthola umuthi ofanele noma ukwelashwa.
Yize kungaba lula ukuzizwa ukhungathekile, kufanele ubekezele futhi ubasekele.
Ukuthola ukwelashwa okulungile kuvame ukuthatha isikhathi eceleni kwesilingo nephutha elincane. Kubalulekile ukuthi ungazami ukusheshisa inqubo yokutakula.
Uma umlingani wakho elashwa ngaphandle kokuphumelela kokuqala, lokhu akusho ukuthi uyehluleka nganoma iyiphi indlela. Qhubeka nokuhlala ubasekela futhi ungena nabo njalo.
8. Qhubeka nengxoxo
Ingxoxo yakho yokuqala noshade naye ibalulekile ekwakheni umuzwa wokwethembana nokwesekwa, kepha ingxoxo kufanele iqhubeke njengenqubo yokwelashwa.
Ungayeki ukukhuluma ngempilo yengqondo nomlingani wakho. Hlala uxhumana noshade naye ngempilo yabo yengqondo nokwelashwa kwabo.
Yize kubalulekile ukubanikeza isikhala abasidingayo, ukuzibandakanya ekwelashweni kwabo kusiza ekuboniseni ukwesekwa kwakho.
Kubalulekile futhi ukwazi ukuthi oshade naye angafika kuwe uqobo ngokukhuluma ngempilo yengqondo.
Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuthi uvulele lokhu futhi utholakale. Kungasiza nokuhlela izikhathi zokukhuluma ngokuzayo.