Uma uzithola ungumzali wokutholwa ngokungazelelwe, ungamangala ukuthi impilo yakho ingaba lula kanjani uma ufunda izincwadi ezimbalwa ezikhethiwe zokuba umzali wesinyathelo.
Masibe neqiniso, ukuba ngumzali kunzima. Ukuba usingamzali kungaba yinto enzima kunazo zonke owake wazenza empilweni yakho yonke.
Kuyamangaza ukuthi zingakanani izingqinamba ongahlangabezana nazo (futhi ngokunokwenzeka ozohlangabezana nazo) endleleni yakho. Noma kunjalo, futhi kungaba okuhlangenwe nakho okuzuzisa kakhulu, ikakhulukazi uma okwakho nemindeni yomlingani wakho omusha kuhlanganiswe kwaba yinqwaba enkulu yokuhleka kanye nezinxushunxushu.
Nakhu ukukhethwa kwezincwadi ezine zokuthi ungaphila kanjani futhi uchume njengomzali wokutholwa.
1.Ukuhlakanipha Ekukhuliseni Isinyathelo: Ungaphumelela Kanjani Lapho Abanye Behluleka khona ngu-Diana Weiss-Wisdom Ph.D.
UDiana Weiss-Wisdom, Ph.D., ungudokotela wezengqondo onelayisense osebenza njengobudlelwano kanye nekhansela lomndeni, ngakho-ke, umsebenzi wakhe uzoba ngumthelela obalulekile uwedwa. Yize kunjalo, naye uyindodakazi yokutholwa kanye nosingamama uqobo.
Ngakho-ke, njengoba uzobona ekubhalweni kwakhe, umsebenzi wakhe uyinhlanganisela yolwazi lobuchwepheshe nokuqonda komuntu siqu. Lokhu kwenza ukuthi le ncwadi ibe ngumthombo oligugu kuwo wonke umuntu obhekene nezinselelo eziningi zokukhulisa izingane zomlingani wakhe.
Incwadi yakhe yokukhulisa izingane ezinikela ngezinyathelo inikela ngamasu asebenzayo kanye namathiphu emindeni emisha yezinyathelo nezindaba zomuntu siqu kusuka kulwazi lwamakhasimende akhe. Njengoba umbhali esho, ukuba usingamzali akuyona into okhethe ukuyenza, kuyinto eyenzekayo kuwe.
Ngaleso sizathu, kuyinselele enkulu impela, kepha incwadi yakhe izokuhlomisa ngamathuluzi afanele nangamakhono okubhekana nawo. Kuzokunikeza nethemba lokuthi udinga ukufeza umndeni ohlangene onempilo nothando owulindele.
2. Umhlahlandlela Wentombazane Engashadile Yokushada Nendoda, Izingane Zayo, Nonkosikazi Wayo Wangaphambili: Ukuba Ngumama Wokutholwa Onamahlaya Nomusa nguSally Bjornsen
Ngokufanayo nombhali wangaphambilini, uBjornsen ungutata wesibili futhi ungumbhali. Umsebenzi wakhe akukhona konke lokho okugxilwe kwengqondo njengebhuku langaphambilini, kepha lokho okukunikeza wena kungukuhlangenwe nakho okuthembekile. Futhi, ukunganaki, amahlaya. Wonke usingamama omusha uyayidinga kakhulu kunakuqala futhi ngokuqinisekile ingenye yezincwadi ezinhle kakhulu zokukhulisa izingane ongaba nazo eshalofini lakho lamabhuku.
Ngokuthinta amahlaya, uzokwazi ukuthola ukulingana phakathi kwemizwa yakho nesifiso sakho sokuhlangabezana nezidingo zawo wonke umuntu futhi ube ngumuntu omusha omuhle ezimpilweni zezingane.
Le ncwadi inamacandelwana amaningana - lena esezinganeni ikuqondisa ezintweni ezijwayelekile nezilindelwe kodwa okunzima ukusingatha izindaba, ezifana nentukuthelo, ukulungiswa, ukubekelwa eceleni. ingxenye ngamaholide, amasiko nemikhuba emisha nemidala yomndeni. Ekugcineni, kuthinta ukuthi ulugcina kanjani uthando nokuthandana kuphila lapho ngokungazelelwe impilo yakho idlulwa yizingane zakhe ngaphandle kokuthola ithuba lokuyilungiselela.
3. Umndeni Wokutholwa Ohlakaniphile: Izinyathelo Eziyisikhombisa Zokuya Emndenini Onempilo nguRon L. Deal
Phakathi kwezincwadi zokukhulisa izingane, lokhu kungenye yezinto ezithengisa kakhulu, futhi kunesizathu esizwakalayo. Umbhali ungumelaphi onelayisense emshadweni nasemndenini futhi ungumsunguli weSmart Stepfamilies, uMqondisi weFamilyLife Blended.
Uyisikhulumi esivamile emithonjeni yezindaba kazwelonke. Ngakho-ke, le yincwadi okufanele uyithenge futhi wabelane ngayo nabangane.
Kuwo, uzothola izinyathelo eziyisikhombisa ezilula nezisebenzayo zokuvimbela nokuxazulula izinkinga iningi lemindeni (uma kungeyona yonke) elihlangene nemindeni ebhekana nalo. Kuyiqiniso futhi kuyiqiniso, futhi kuvela enkambisweni ebanzi yomlobi kule ndawo. Uzofunda ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani ne-Ex, ukuthi ungaxazulula kanjani izingqinamba ezivamile nokuthi ungaphatha kanjani imali emndenini onjalo, nokunye okuningi.
4. UStmonmonster: Ukubuka okusha ukuthi kungani omama bokutholwa beqiniso becabanga, bezizwa futhi benza ngendlela esenza ngayo ngoLwesithathu uMartin Ph.D.
Umbhali wale ncwadi ngumbhali futhi ungumcwaningi kwezenhlalo, futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, ungungoti ezindabeni zokukhulisa izingane ezinyathelisayo kanye nezinkinga zomzali ovele ezinhlelweni eziningi ekhuluma ngezinkinga imindeni ehlanganayo ebhekana nazo.
Incwadi yakhe yaba ngumthengisi othengisa kakhulu weNew York Times. Le ncwadi inikeza inhlanganisela yesayensi, ucwaningo lwezenhlalo, kanye nolwazi lomuntu siqu.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi umbhali uxoxa ngendlela yokuziphendukela kwemvelo yokuthi kungani kungaba yinselele kangaka ukuba usingamama. USmartmoms uvame ukusolwa ngokungaphumeleli ekwakheni ubudlelwane obunempilo phakathi kwakhe nezingane - cabanga ngoCinderella, Snow White, nayo yonke inganekwane.
Le ncwadi isusa inganekwane yokuthi omama bokutholwa bangabazali bokutholwa futhi ikhombisa ukuthi zikhona kanjani “izixazululo” eziyisihlanu ezidala ukungqubuzana emindenini ehlangene. Futhi kuthatha ama-tango amabili (noma ngaphezulu)!