Izinyathelo Ezinhlanu Okufanele Uzithathe Ngaphambi Kokuqala Ubuhlobo Obusha

-Delile

• 1. Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nisekhasini elilodwa
• 2. Thatha kancane
• 3. Nikeza lesi sikhala esiningi ukuze sikhule
• 4. Izinsuku zakho zokuqala akuzona izikhathi zokwelashwa, ngakho-ke ungazivezi kakhulu
• 5. Qhubeka uphile eyakho, impilo engcono kakhulu

Uke wahlangana nomuntu ocabanga ukuthi ungathanda ukuphola kuphela?

Nazi izinyathelo ezinhlanu okufanele uzithathe ngaphambi kokuqala ubudlelwano obusha. Lezi zeluleko zizoqinisekisa ukuthi nobabili nisuka ngonyawo lwangakwesokudla ukuze ezothando lwenu zibe nawo wonke amathuba okuphumelela!

1. Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nisekhasini elilodwa

Ube nochungechunge lwezinsuku nezingxoxo ezithile ezinhle, ezijulile. Nobabili niyakhangana ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo. Kepha into eyodwa abanye abantu abangayinaki ukubaluleka kokuzwakalisa lokho okulindelwe ubuhlobo babo. Singase sesabe ukwethusa omunye umuntu noma sibonakale sidinga usizo kakhulu. Kepha kunezindlela zokuveza okufunayo ebuhlotsheni (futhi ikakhulukazi, nalo muntu ohlangane naye) ngaphandle kokubonakala kudinga kakhulu noma kungaguquguquki.

Beka engxoxweni izinto ozihlonze njengokuthi “kumele ube nazo” ebudlelwaneni ngokusho okuthile okufana nokuthi “Uma sengazi ukuthi ngingenile kumfana, ngijola naye nje. Ngikhethekile. Ungu?"

Inhloso yale ngxoxo ukucacisa ukuthi nobabili nifuna into efanayo njengoba niqala lesi sahluko esisha empilweni yenu yothando.

Kungcono ukwazi manje, ngaphambi kokuthi utshale imali eningi kule ndoda, ukuthi cha, usafuna ukudlala inkundla.

2. Thatha kancane

Into yokuqala abantu abangayenza ukuze banciphise ubudlelwano obungahle bube buthakathaka ebhuqwini ukusondelana ngokushesha okukhulu.

Sola ama-hormone ethu, kodwa kulula kakhulu ukuthi “uhambe kakhulu, usheshe kakhulu” lapho usanda kudla isidlo sakusihlwa esimnandi, uphuza, uthululela izinhliziyo zakho komunye nomunye, futhi izinkanyezi emehlweni akho zikwenza ungaboni iqiniso lokuthi awusebenzisanga isikhathi esidingekayo ukwakha ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo.

Khumbula: ukulala ndawonye ekuqaleni kobudlelwano akuvamile ukuba nomthelela ekwakheni ukuxhumana kwengqondo kanye nemizwa oyifunayo ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, obuzinzile.

Indlela engcono yokwakha isisekelo esizinzile onokwakhela phezu kwaso indaba yothando ukusungula kuqala isibopho esingokomzwelo, bese kuba nesisa, futhi ekugcineni kube esomzimba. Inqubo kufanele yenziwe kancane, ngokucophelela, nangokuxhumana okuqhubekayo phakathi kwabalingani.

Uma umlingani wakho ekucindezela ukuba usondelane ngokushesha kunokuba uzizwe ukhululekile lapho unaye, futhi engalaleli ukuthi kungani ungathanda ukulinda, lokhu kungaba ifulegi elibomvu ofisa ukulinaka. Izikhathi eziyisishiyagalolunye ngaphandle kwesikhathi ngeke akufonele ekuseni uma kufanele "uvume" esicelweni sakhe.

Ochwepheshe bathi umthetho omuhle wesithupha ukusebenzisa izinsuku eziyisithupha zokuqala ukwazana nokwakha lokho kuxhumana okubaluleke kakhulu okungeyona eyomzimba ngaphambi kokuyisa izinto ekamelweni.

3. Nikeza lesi sikhala esiningi ukuze sikhule

Sonke sithanda i-heady, amasonto okuqala umuzwa wobudlelwano obuqhakazile. Futhi ngenkathi kulinga futhi kulula ukushintshana ngemibhalo, izithombe, imiyalezo nezithonjana usuku lonke ngentshisekelo yakho entsha yothando, zibambe.

Ungagcwali ibhokisi lakhe lokungenayo. Kungaba umqondo wakudala, kepha kungumqondo ofakazelwe: uthando luvutha kangcono lapho kunesikhala nebanga phakathi kokuxhumana.

Ukuxhumana kakhulu ekuqaleni kuzokhipha ilangabi elikhulayo njengamanzi ngomlilo. Kunzima, kepha ungabi khona kakhulu. (Ungacabanga ngaye engqondweni yakho konke okufunayo; akekho ozokwazi ngakho!).

Futhi uma ehlala ekuthumela imiyalezo, sola.

Cishe uyi-adrenaline junky, yenza okufanayo nakwabanye besifazane. Indlela enempilo kunayo yonke yokuqala ubudlelwano obusha iwukunciphisa ama-imeyili, imibhalo nemiyalezo kanye nosuku ngendlela yokuthi kube nendawo phakathi kwalokhu okunye ukuze imizwa yakho ikhule ngokomzimba.

4. Izinsuku zakho zokuqala akuzona izikhathi zokwelashwa, ngakho-ke ungazivezi kakhulu

Elinye lamaphutha amakhulu ongawenza lapho uqala ubudlelwano obusha ukuthambekela kokukhipha yonke imithwalo yakho engokomzwelo khona manjalo. Ngemuva kwakho konke, unomlingani onakile khona lapho, ekubuza imibuzo eminingi, ezimisele ukukwazi.

Uma usanda kuphuma kobunye ubudlelwano, futhi mhlawumbe uthandana ngokushesha okuncane, kuzoba lula kakhulu ukudalula yonke imininingwane yalobo budlelwano. Ubuhlungu bakho bukhona lapho ebusweni, bulungele ukuphululela kunoma ngubani obuza ukuthi kungani ungashadile manje.(Ake sikweluleke lapha ukuthi ungapholisi maseko ngemuva kokwehlukana, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi ungaphezu kwesidala sakho ngaphambi kokungena kobunye ubuhlobo, ikakhulukazi obufuna ukuhamba nabo isikhathi eside.)

Imfihlakalo iyakhanga, ngakho-ke sebenzisa lezo zinsuku eziyisithupha zokuqala ukukhuluma ngawe ngamagama abanzi — umsebenzi wakho, izinkanuko zakho, izindawo zakho zeholide ozithandayo — kodwa gcina izindaba zobudlelwano bangaphambilini noma okuhlangenwe nakho okujulile, okuhlukumezayo komuntu okwehla ulayini lapho uzizwe uvikelekile futhi uvikelekile nomlingani wakho.

Sebenzisa lezo zinsuku eziyisithupha zokuqala ukuzijabulisa, wabelane ngezikhathi ezilula, futhi nibonisane izinhlangothi zenu ezijabulayo.

5. Qhubeka uphile eyakho, impilo engcono kakhulu

Elinye iphutha elenziwa ngabantu lapho bexhumana nomuntu omusha ukutshala imali eningi ebudlelwaneni obusha bese bebeka eceleni izimpilo zabo. Umngani wakho omusha wakhangwa nguwe ngenxa yempilo enhle owawuyiphila ngaphambi kokuhlangana, ngakho-ke qhubeka uphile leyompilo! Qhubeka nokuqeqeshwa kwakho kwalowo marathon, amakilasi akho aseFrance, umsebenzi wakho wokuzithandela nabantu abangenamakhaya, amantombazane akho-ubusuku-ukuphuma.

Akukho okungabulala ubudlelwano obusafufusa ngokushesha kunokunikela ngakho konke lokho ukugxila kumuntu omusha.

Ungakushayi indiva ukuthi wawuyini ngaphambi kokuba lobu budlelwano bufike — uyakhanga ngokwengeziwe ngenxa yazo zonke lezi zinto ezinothisayo ozenzayo lapho nihlukene.