-Delile
- 1. Ukungabi nokusondelana
- Ukuxhumana okungafanele (noma cha nhlobo)
- 3. I-PDA ayikho
- 4. Imigomo yothando ayivamile ukusetshenziswa
- 5. Azisekho izintshisekelo ezivamile
Sonke sizibonile izimpawu zobudlelwano ziwohloka. Uke waya kangaki endaweni yokudlela wabuka izithandani zingakhulumi izwi komunye nomunye? Bahlala beshadile ngenxa yokuthi bashadile futhi ngemishini bahamba ezinyangeni zansuku zonke zokuphila. Lezi zithandani azifani neze futhi kungenzeka ukuthi azange zangana eminyakeni edlule. Alukho uthando. Akunamizwa. Ayikho imfudumalo phakathi kwabo.
Kungenzeka ukuthi bake bathandana ngesikhathi esisodwa, noma mhlawumbe babengekho. Iqiniso ukuthi abasathandani bobabili. Le mibhangqwana kungenzeka ukuthi isikhathele omunye nomunye noma imane yathatha izinkomba ezimbili ezihlukile empilweni. Ubudlelwano obuningi buwela phansi kulokho okwaziwa njengesigaba “esikahle” somshado.
Lesi sigaba esikahle somshado singavela ezintweni eziningi:
- Mhlawumbe wawuthandana ngokweqile ngesikhathi esisodwa, kepha okuthile kwashintsha endleleni
- Kungenzeka ukuthi ukhule futhi waqhakaza njengomuntu, kanti umlingani wakho akazange
- Mhlawumbe ekugcineni wafuna izindlela ezimbili ezihlukene empilweni
- Kungenzeka oyedwa noma nobabili nimane niphume omunye komunye
- Noma mhlawumbe izinto eziza kuqala kuwe zishintshile futhi wavumela ukuxhumeka kwakho kungasebenzi
Bona izimpawu zokuqala ubudlelwano bakho buyawohloka bese unquma ukuthi ungabulungisa yini - noma ubushiye. Ungabusindisa kanjani ubudlelwano bakho kuqala ngokwamukela izimpawu zokuthi ubudlelwano bakho abuhluleki.
1. Ukungabi nokusondelana
Ukuntuleka kocansi, ukusondelana, noma ukuthintana kungenye yezimpawu zokuqala zokuthi ubuhlobo bakho buhlukana. Ubulili yilokho okuqinisa ubuhlobo bakho njengezithandani. Kukhethekile futhi kungcwele kini nobabili kuphela. Kuyisenzo esinamandla sobunye esigcina ugxile futhi uxhumekile.
Ngaphandle kocansi nothando, nobabili nimane nibe ngabangane abahle. Umshado ochithekayo ngokusobala uzoveza izimpawu zokuthi ubuhlobo bakho buyachitheka.
Ukuxhumana okungafanele (noma cha nhlobo)
Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana kwansuku zonke nomlingani wakho kungenye yezimpawu zobudlelwano bakho obuqhekekayo. Lapho ubudlelwane buqala ukuwohloka, ukuthula ngokuvamile kungesinye sezinkomba zokuqala. Lapho ukuthanda imiyalezo, ama-imeyili, nezingcingo kushoda noma kungabikho, kungaba yisikhathi sokuhlolwa kobudlelwano.
Uma uzithola ubuza ukuthi "ubudlelwano bami buyaphela yini?" bese ukuvala igebe lokuxhumana nomlingani wakho kubalulekile ekuqondeni ukuthi ungabugcina kanjani ubudlelwano.
3. I-PDA ayikho
Uma ukuboniswa kwakho kothando esidlangalaleni sekuyizibuko zokwahlukanisa obala, ungahle ube nesizathu sokukhathazeka. Ukuthinta kuqhutshwa uthando. Uma usothandweni, ufuna ukuthinta umlingani wakho.
Lapho ukwanga okumnandi, ukubamba isandla, nokuhamba ngengalo kuthathelwe indawo izingalo ezinqamulelwe nebanga elilinganisekayo phakathi kwakho, lezo ngezinye zezimpawu ezisobala ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buyaphela.
4. Imigomo yothando ayivamile ukusetshenziswa
Lapho uzizwa sengathi ubudlelwano bakho buyabhidlika ungabona inqubo ephakeme nomlingani wakho. Lapho u- “Sweetheart,” “Honey,” no “Lover,” kufakwa esikhundleni sika- “Angela,” “Jack,” no “Stacey,” ungahle uthande ukulalela.
Indlela okukhulunywa ngayo ngoshade naye ibonisa ukuthi umshado wakho uyawohloka. Uthando luvusa amagama othando. Umphathi wakho kufanele akubize ngegama; umlingani wakho akufanele.
Futhi Buka:
5. Azisekho izintshisekelo ezivamile
Ukwenza izinto njengombhangqwana kuqinisa isibopho senu. Izintshisakalo ezihlanganyelanayo zikugcina uxhumekile njengezithandani. Uma uhlola impilo njengeqembu lamathegi, ubheke phambili esikhathini sakho ndawonye. Kufana nokushada nomngani wakho omkhulu, nebhonasi yocansi. Lapho ubudlelwano bakho buhlukana, izintshisekelo enake nazijabulela ndawonye kungenzeka ukuthi zaba wukuzidela okukodwa.
Yini okufanele uyenze lapho ubudlelwano bakho buhlukana ngaphandle kokushoda kwezintshisekelo ezivamile?
Hhayi-ke, kungahle kudingeke ukuthi uhlele kabusha izintshisekelo zakho ukuze uhlangane ndawonye njengombhangqwana. Ungabulungisa kanjani ubudlelwano obuchithekayo kwesinye isikhathi kudinga ukubeka izintshisekelo zomlingani wakho ngaphambi kwezakho.
Ngesiqeshana sothando nokuheha nisazizwa nobabili, ubudlelwano benu bungadinga nje ukupholisha ukuqala kabusha nokubuyela emgqeni.
Angikwazi ukugcizelela ngokwanele ukubaluleka kokufaka umzamo wokulondoloza ubuhlobo bakho, uma futhi kuphela uma, wena Kokubili usalelwe yimvuthuluka yokuheha umlingani wakho. Ukulungisa nokuvuselela ukukhanga kwakho nokuzinikela kwakho oke wakuzwa, bobabili abalingani kufanele bazizwe (futhi bafune) ithemba elingaba khona lokuvuselelwa kothando.
Ngakho-ke wazi kanjani ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho busenalo uthando oluyisisekelo noluthandanayo olusele kuwo noma kanjani ukusindisa umshado ochithekayo? Uthatha isivivinyo se- "Dang Factor", esiqukethe imibuzo emibili:
Umbuzo 1: Uma, ngemuva kokuhlukana, ubuzobona owakwakho wangaphambili ehamba, ebambene ngezandla, engena endaweni yokudlela enentshisekelo entsha yothando, ubungazizwa kanjani?
Ngaphambi kokuba uphendule lowo mbuzo, qaphela: umthetho wokuqala we- "Dang Factor" usho ngokusobala ukuthi awukwazi ukuwuthola ngazo zombili izindlela. Ngamanye amagama, awukwazi ukuthi awukhangi noma unentshisekelo yokuba nomlingani wakho bese ngasikhathi sinye uthi ukubabona nomunye umuntu kungakuthumela entukuthelweni enomona. Khumbula, noma ngabe uzwa uzibuthe noma awuzizwa. Ngisho nocezu lokukhanga lusakhanga.
Umbuzo 2: Uzizwa kanjani lapho umlingani wakho ekuthinta?
Uma ungakujabuleli ukuthintwa umlingani wakho, kungaba uphawu lokuthi izinga lakho lokukhanga lifile noma alikho esimeni okwesikhashana. Ukuthintana okusondelene phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho kuyinto eyodwa ebeka ubudlelwane bakho ngaphandle kwalowo womngani wakho omkhulu.
Yilokho okwabelana ngokocansi okwabelana ngobudlelwano bakho obubonisa ubudlelwano bakho njengokwehlukile kulokho owabelana ngakho nabantu osebenza nabo, abangane nomakhelwane. Ubulili, ukuqabulana, ukwangana, nokubambana ngezandla yizona zinto ezihlukanisa nina nobabili "njengabantu abathandanayo." Uma ungathinti, khona-ke uhlala nje uhlala ndawonye.
Thatha Imibuzo: Ngabe Nishadile Noma Nihlala Nodwa?
Lapho usuthole ukuthi ikhona yini kuyinto isici sokuheha esisele ebudlelwaneni bakho, wenza kanjani ngokukhipha ubudlelwano bakho esigabeni sokulungisa? Kulula! Ufake umzamo.
Hlela ukuthi uzokwenzenjani uma ubudlelwano bakho bungaphumeleli
Ungawulungisa kanjani umshado ochithekayo? Uhlela kabusha izinto eziza kuqala ukuze umlingani wakho eze kuqala (ngaphambi kwabangani bakho, izingane, noma inja), njengalapho nisathandana. Uzodinga ukuphuma ngaphandle kwe- wena futhi ubheke ukuthola izimpawu zamanje ubuhlobo bakho buyachitheka.
Uma kusekhona isiqeshana esifiselekayo futhi umane nje udlula ebunzimeni noma unqamukile njengabantu abashadile, kungahle kungadingeki ukuqeda umshado. Uma uphumelele isivivinyo esinezinhlangothi ezimbili "seDang Factor", kukhona ithemba lokuvuswa kothando, futhi sekuyisikhathi sokuthi uzimisele ngokubuyisa uthando oluhle empilweni yakho.
Uma oyedwa noma nobabili ukhetha ukungafaki mzamo ekuvuseleleni umshado wakho owake waba mnandi futhi unothando, ungagcina uhlukanisile. Nobabili kudingeka nikulungele lokhu kanye nokwazi ukuthi ningaphulukana nothando olungejwayelekile lapho konke obekudingeka bekuwukupholisha nokuzikhandla.
Izimpawu eziphindaphindayo ubudlelwano bakho buyachitheka ngokuvamile zinezixazululo ezilula, vele ungavumeli i-ego yakho ikuphazamise.