-Delile
- Izizathu zokuthandana nothile
- 1. Ukuba ngumzali
- 2. Uyekile ukuzinakekela
- 3. Awunampilo
- Izimpawu zokuthi usuwile othandweni
- 1. Inzalo embalwa eyabiwe nemisebenzi
- 2. Akukho ukubonakaliswa kothando ngakumlingani
- 3. Akukho mzamo wokuxazulula izingxabano
- Yini okufanele uyenze uma uthandana nothando emshadweni
Bangu izimo empilweni yakho lapho ungakuzwa lokho konke kuyawa, futhi ukhona ukuwa othandweni emshadweni. Ngethembe! Akuwena wedwa.
Abantu abaningi bangazibona kalula izimpawu ezikhombisa ukuthi bayathandana, ikakhulukazi ebudlelwaneni obusha. Kepha izimpawu zokuthi uyaphela othandweni emshadweni, noma obunye ubudlelwane obulokhu buqhubeka isikhashana, azihlali zilula ukuzibona noma ukuzibona.
Ukungabi nokuheha ngokocansi futhi ukuxhumeka ngokomzwelo yizinto ezimbili ezivame kakhulu ezenza ukulahleka kothando emshadweni.
Ukuwa ngothando futhi akuvamile njengoba abantu abaningi becabanga. Ucwaningo luthi, cishe i-50% yayo yonke imishado e-United States izophela ngesehlukaniso. Ucwaningo olufanayo lulinganisela ukuthi ama-41% ayo yonke imishado yokuqala iphela ngokwehlukana komshado.
Cishe abesifazane abalinganiselwa kuma-66% bafake isicelo sesehlukaniso.
Ukuwa othandweni nakho kungaholela ukuphazamisa ukusebenza okujwayelekile yengqondo nomzimba wakho. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ukuphakama kwethu okuphakeme kakhulu nokwehla okuphansi kungaxhunyaniswa nobudlelwano bothando. Kungenzeka ukuthi uhlangabezane nokulahlekelwa inzalo kaningi emisebenzini yansuku zonke. Lokhu akulutho ngaphandle kwesifo sokuwa-sothando-emshadweni.
Lokhu kusho nokuthi ungaba yisinyathelo esiseduze ukuba isisulu sokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka.
Izizathu zokuthandana nothile
Imishado iyashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Awukwazi ukulindela ukuthi isigaba se-honeymoon sizohlala unomphela, akunjalo? Futhi uma usebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, ukuwa othandweni kungaba umcimbi olindelwe impela.
Uma ufuna izizathu, kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi uhlangane nenqwaba yazo. Ukungathembeki kungaba yisizathu esihle kakhulu sokususa imizwa efana nokuwa-othandweni-emshadweni kumlingani okhonjiwe. Bese futhi, ukungathembeki nokuphinga kungaba yi imiphumela yokungabi naluthando, abangenaluthando, futhi imishado engenabo ubulili.
Ake siqonde izizathu ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuthi siqale ukukhomba izimpawu zokuwa othandweni -
1. Ukuba ngumzali
Ukuphekela izibopho ukuthi woza nokukhulisa umndeni. Uchitha isikhathi esiningi kakhulu unakekela izingane zakho kangangokuba awusoze waba nesikhathi esanele sokusindisa umlingani wakho. Futhi ngaphandle kokuqaphela, uzozithola uphela othandweni emshadweni.
Ukukhulisa izingane kuwumsebenzi onzima. Ezincane zincike kakhulu konina ngesikhathi zisencane. Abanaso isikhathi sokuchitha kubona, ukwenza uthando kumlingani wabo kuyinto yokugcina efika ezingqondweni zabo.
Kancane kancane, bazithola sebethandana nabayeni babo, futhi lokhu kuziphatha kuthinta ukubuya kwabayeni.
Isithombe esesabekayo impela, uyabona!
2. Uyekile ukuzinakekela
Lesi ngesinye isizathu esenza abantu baqala ukuwa othandweni emshadweni. Sezadlula izinsuku lapho ubukujabulela ukugqoka nokuhlala uphilile kumlingani wakho. Kepha njengoba iminyaka ihamba futhi isikhundla sakhe empilweni yakho siba unomphela, uthathe isithakazelo esincane ekuhlaleni uphilile futhi umuhle.
Esikhundleni salokho, leyo mizamo ibonakala ingasabalulekile kangako kuwe.
Futhi, ngaphambi kokuthi uqaphele umonakalo owenziwe, wena qala ukubona izimpawu eyakho umyeni uthandana nothando lwakho nawe.
3. Awunampilo
Qala ukugcina impilo yakho ngaphandle komshado. Lokhu kuyiphutha elikhulu abesifazane abavame ukulenza uma sebengene ebudlelwaneni. Kepha sona lesi simo sengqondo singafakazela ekugcineni
Ukulahla uthando lwakho, izinto ozithandayo, abangane, kanye nendlala yakho yokuphila, ngamafuphi ukudela konke okukuchazile, kuzomane kuphushe umyeni wakho.
Awuyona ukuwa othandweni emshadweni, kodwa ukhuthaza umyeni wakho ukuthi afune izinketho ezingcono kunawe.
Isizathu sabesilisa abakhononda ngokuthandana nothando singancika kakhulu kumakhosikazi abo aveza lolu hlobo lwesimo empilweni.
Ngakho-ke, abesifazane bopha!
Lezi zimpawu ezibonakalayo zokuwa othandweni azikhombisi ukuphela komshado nhlobo. Isazi sobudlelwano, uSuzanne Edelman uthi,
“Iningi lalezi zimpawu ziyalungiseka. Kumele uzimisele ukuxoxa ngokukhululekile ngodaba ngalunye futhi ukhombise ukuthi unakekela ngokwanele ukushintsha indlela yokuziphatha.”
Kepha okokuqala, kufanele khomba izimpawu ye ukuthandana nothile.
Izimpawu zokuthi usuwile othandweni
Uma ucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi uthandana nothando emshadweni, cabanga ngalezi zimpawu ezilandelayo lokho kungakhombisa imizwa yakho mayelana nobudlelwano bakho bomshado akusafani nakuqala.
1. Inzalo embalwa eyabiwe nemisebenzi
Kuyinto akuyona engavamile imibhangqwana uku banezintshisekelo ezihlukile noma imisebenzi oyithandayo efana nomlingani oyedwa othanda ibhola nomunye ongayithandi. Kepha i-a izithandani, lezi izintshisekelo ezahlukahlukene azilethi ukungqubuzana.
Eqinisweni, imibhangqwana ingahle ihlanganyele imisebenzi yize ingajabulisi kangako kuyo, njengokuthatha umlingani ku-opera yize ingakujabuleli lokho.
Uma uthandana nothando emshadweni, noma kunjalo, ungaqaphela ukuthi kunjalo ukuchitha isikhathi esincane ukwenza imisebenzi ehlanganyelwe noma ukukhuluma ngezintshisekelo ezabiwe.
2. Akukho ukubonakaliswa kothando ngakumlingani
Kuvamile kakhulu ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile ukuba kakhulu unothando futhi uthanda obala lapho besanda kushada, kuphela ukuthi uthando lilinganise ngokuhamba kwesikhathi — lokhu akuyona into embi futhi imane kubhekwe njengesinye isigaba ekwakheni ubudlelwano besikhathi eside.
Kodwa-ke, uma uthola ukuthi awukhombisi uthando, ukujabulela noma ukubonga kumlingani wakho kaningi — noma kaningi kangako kunakuqala — lokho kungaba yisibonakaliso sokuthi senithandana.
Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma uzithole ucasukile ngokwandayo noma ucasulwe umlingani wakho.
3. Akukho mzamo wokuxazulula izingxabano
Izithandani ezisothandweni cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi zizama ukuxazulula izingxabano ebudlelwaneni bazo ngoba zitshaliwe ebudlelwaneni futhi ngokwemvelo zifuna ukuthi ubudlelwano busebenze.
Uma uthandana nothile emshadweni, kepha ungathola ukuthi awenzi mzamo wokuxazulula izingqinamba — empeleni, ungaqala ukubona sengathi kungcono vele ungasinaki isimo ngokuphelele, nokuthi ukuxazulula impikiswano akubalulekile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Ngeshwa, lokhu kunomphumela ohlangothini wokwenza ubudlelwano bube nzima kakhulu futhi bube nezinkinga, okungaholela ekulahlekelweni kothando okuqhubekayo kumlingani wakho.
Yini okufanele uyenze uma uthandana nothando emshadweni
Uma ucabanga ukuthi imizwa yakho ngomlingani wakho isinciphile, kuzofanele wenze inketho yomuntu siqu: nawe ungakwenza lokho sebenzela ukuzama ukuvuselela imizwa yakho noma udedele ubudlelwano.
Noma iyiphi inketho izodinga ukucabanga okuningi noma ukucatshangelwa ngokucophelela, ngoba zombili lezi yizinyathelo ezibucayi ezizoba nomthelela ebudlelwaneni bakho nasempilweni yakho yonke.
Ngabe uzizwa uphuma othandweni? Thatha Imibuzo