-Delile
Umshado uyisikhungo sasendulo esisinde ekuvivinyweni kwesikhathi. Eqinisweni, izibikezelo ze-apocalyptic ngamanani akhulayo ehlukaniso bezihlale zingahambi kahle lapho imibhangqwana eminingi ikhetha ukushada.
Kepha, kuyamangaza ukubona lokho, sigcina senza amaphutha afanayo ebudlelwaneni bethu. Asikaze sibonakale sifunda kwabanye. Sinama-hormone ethu nezigidi zeminyaka yokuziphendukela kwemvelo okusolwa ngalokhu. Ukuheha ngokomzimba kuyaqhubeka nokudlala indima enkulu ekukhetheni umlingani wethu. Kodwa-ke, izidingo zobudlelwano besikhathi eside zihamba ngaphezu kwalokho ama-hormone akho angasitshela khona!
Uma ubunakekela ngempela ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, qaphela lezi zimpawu ezintathu ezihlala zibamba imibhangqwana engazi. Akugcini lapho. Zama ukuphendula imibuzo emine elula ukuthola izinkinga ezisemqoka ebudlelwaneni bakho-
1. Ukulindelwa okungalindelekile
Imibhangqwana eminingi izokwenza imizamo ebonakalayo ukukhombisa kuphela uhlangothi lwayo oluhle ekuqaleni kobudlelwano. Kepha, njengoba ubudlelwane bukhula, izingqinamba zangempela ziqala ukuphuma ekhabethe. Ngokushesha, inhlansi yobudlelwano iyanyamalala! Izinto ziba nzima futhi zibe nzima kunakuqala. Icala, kulokhu, alihambisani nokulindelwe.
Nayi imibuzo elula ezokusiza ukuthi ubone okulindelwe okungalingani:
- Yini okulindelwe ngokuyinhloko kumlingani wakho?
- Yimiphi imizamo umlingani wakho ayenzayo ukuhlangabezana nokulindela kwakho okuyinhloko?
- Esontweni elilodwa elidlule, usho kangaki kumlingani wakho nganoma yini?
- Emavikini amane edlule, kukangaki ufinyelela komunye umuntu ngento obekufanele yenziwe umlingani wakho?
Uma umlingani wakho elwa nokuhlangabezana nokulindelwe okuyinhloko futhi unohlu olude lwezinto ongazisho ngemibuzo 3 no-4, kungadingeka uqaphele.
2. Ukuzicabangela wena wedwa
Abanye bethu babona ubudlelwano njengetshe lokunyathela lokufeza okuthile okusondele enhliziyweni yethu. Lokhu akuyona into embi ngempela. Kepha, ukuxhaphaza ubudlelwano besidingo sakho futhi ungazinaki izifiso zomlingani wakho kuyingozi.
Zibuze le mibuzo ukuthola ukuthi ngabe omunye wenu ulawula futhi usebenzisa ubuqili yini:
- Yiziphi izimo lapho wabeka isidingo somlingani wakho ngaphambi kwakho?
- Ngabe kufanele unamathele enkambisweni ethile noma ufune imvume kumlingani wakho ukuze wenze izinto ozifunayo?
- Wake wazizwa umlingani wakho ezilimaze izifiso zakho?
- Wake wazizwa unomona ngempumelelo yomlingani wakho?
3. Ukubamba amagqubu
Imibhangqwana iyahlukana ngenxa yezizathu eziningana. Ukukopela, ukuntuleka kokuxhumana, izimpikiswano ezingapheli, ukungabi nobudlelwano ngezinye zezizathu. Kodwa-ke, eziningi zalezi zizathu kumane nje kungukukhonjiswa kwamagqubu abanjwe ngokujulile abangela isimilo esonakalisayo. Ungaba umgwaqo wendlela njengoba amagqubu evame ukuqondiswa kahle.
Zibuze le mibuzo ukuthola ukuthi ngabe usebudlelwaneni namagqubu angaxazululiwe yini.
- Ingabe wena noma umlingani wakho niyabona umhlaba kumnyama futhi kumhlophe? Ngamanye amagama, othile ulungile noma uyiphutha?
- Ingabe wena noma umlingani wakho unezinkinga zobuntwana ezihlala zingaxazululeki (njengokuhlukunyezwa noma ukushiywa)?
- Emavikini amane edlule, kungaki lapho wena noma umlingani wakho nixolise ngobuqotho nganoma ikuphi ukona?
- Emavikini amane edlule, wena noma umlingani wakho uthole kangaki ezintweni ezenziwa omunye umuntu ukuthi unehaba?
Yenza umzamo oqondile wokubona lezi zimpawu eziyisixwayiso. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ukuqonda ukuthi kungani unezinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokukulungisa.
USrinivas Krishnaswamy
USrinivas Krishnaswamy ungumsunguli weJodi Logik, ipulatifomu eku-inthanethi yokwakha amaphrofayli enziwe ngokwezifiso zamaNdiya emhlabeni wonke. Ubhala ngobudlelwano, imishado, nothando lwebhulogi kaJodi Logik.