-Delile
- Izizathu ezingaba khona nezimpawu zokuxwayisa zothando lomzwelo
- Ukubhekana nezinsolo zokukhohlisa emshadweni
Ukukhaphela ngokocansi kusika ngokujulile emphefumulweni womshado. Kungukuhlukumeza okusondele kakhulu.
Kodwa-ke, ucwaningo kanye namakhasimende ami akhombisa ukuthi ubudlelwane obungaphandle komshado bungalimaza kakhulu. Kungani?
Cabanga nje ngakho: Ukukhohlisa ngokocansi emshadweni kuvame ukukhawulelwa ebugebengwini benkanuko. Oshade naye owoniwe usengafuna ngokomzwelo ukuthi umshado wabo unezinye izibopho eziningi
Kepha ubudlelwano bobulili obungaphandle komshado bungaba bukhulu kakhulu ngoba oshade naye okopelayo udonsekela kumuntu ophelele.
Lolu hlobo lokukhohlisa ngokomzwelo emshadweni luvame ukubizwa ngokuthi yi-Emotional Affair. Oshade naye owoniwe manje uyazibuza: "Ingabe engishade naye uyangithanda, uyangihlonipha, futhi uyangifuna?"
Indaba yokukhohlisa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni idala imibuzo eminingi, kepha emibili evame kakhulu yile:
- Yiziphi ezinye zezimpawu ezingaba yisixwayiso sokungathembeki ngokomzwelo?
- Ungayisingatha kanjani indaba engokomzwelo?
Nayi eminye imibono ngaleyo mibuzo.
Izizathu ezingaba khona nezimpawu zokuxwayisa zothando lomzwelo
Imvamisa, lokhu kukopela okungekho ngokomzimba emshadweni kwenzeka emsebenzini. Ngemuva kwakho konke, oshade naye mhlawumbe unamathuba amaningi okuba nalo uzakwabo.
Bobabili kungenzeka basebenza kuphrojekthi efanayo noma bahlangane kaningi kukheshi noma esitolo sekhofi esiseduze, noma ukuya emihlanganweni ejwayelekile nasemicimbini yomphakathi yasehhovisi.
Futhi umfutho wokusebenza kwephrojekthi ndawonye kukhulisa umuzwa wokuxhumana nokusebenza ngokubambisana.
Isibonelo, banomuzwa wokuthi babelana ngamanani afanayo nemibono efanayo. Bayasekela imibono yomunye nomunye emihlanganweni, behlisa ukukhathazeka komunye nomunye, futhi bajabulelane.
Vele, iningi lozakwethu liyawazi umehluko phakathi kwabahlobo bomsebenzi nalabo osebenza nabo emphefumulweni, kepha uyabona ukuthi kungaba yisilingo kanjani kwabanye abantu ukweqa lowo mkhawulo — ikakhulukazi uma kunezinkinga emshadweni.
Izimpawu zokuxwayisa zombili izindaba zomsebenzi nezingasebenzi ziyafana kodwa azifani.
Nalu uhlu olusheshayo lokuziphatha okufanele uluqaphele kuzo zombili lezi zimo.
- Oshade naye uchitha isikhathi esandayo emsebenzini. Noma, uma intshisekelo yothando entsha ingeyena osebenza naye, umlingani wakho angachaza ukuthi "kufanele ahlale emsebenzini isikhathi eside." Umkhohlisi angangeza ukuthi kunecala elikhulu noma iphrojekthi edinga isikhathi esingeziwe.
- Oshade naye uvame ukuhogela utshwala lapho efika ekhaya — futhi engavamile ukuphuza utshwala — ngaphandle kwalapho evela emicimbini yasehhovisi lamaholide. Ukuphefumula kaningi utshwala kungaba uphawu lokucindezeleka — noma imihlangano yangemva kwamahora nalo muntu othathe ukunaka komuntu oshade naye, inhliziyo — futhi mhlawumbe nomzimba.
- Ngokufanayo, oshade naye ufika ekhaya njalo sekwedlule isikhathi sokudla- noma angalambile (ngoba usevele wadla nalo muntu omusha.)
- Oshade naye uchitha isikhathi esiningi kunokujwayelekile ocingweni noma kwikhompyutha-Futhi ikwenza ngasese noma ithukuthele noma ikhahle lapho ungena ekamelweni.
- Oshade naye unaka kakhulu ukuzilungisa kwakhe ngokuzumayo, okokugqoka nekhanda. Ngokuzumayo ubonakala enentshisekelo yokubheka imfashini. Kungenzeka ukuthi uke wathenga nokuthenga okusha — okuchaza ngokuthi “kudinga” isiketi noma ihembe elisha.
- Oshade naye ukhombisa intshisekelo engazelelwe futhi emangazayo yokubuka izinhlelo ezahlukene zethelevishini noma ama-movie — noma eminye imisebenzi (ngoba lokho kuyizintshisekelo zalo muntu omusha.)
- Oshade naye ubonakala angayithandi kangako ucansi (ngoba amandla akhe ocansi akulo muntu omusha). Noma, ngokuzumayo ufuna ukuzama indlela entsha yezocansi angakaze azame noma asho ngayo (ngoba uzama ukuvuselela ukukhanga kwakhe okunciphayo kuwe.)
Bheka futhi: Umthelela nemiphumela yendaba engokomzwelo.
Ukubhekana nezinsolo zokukhohlisa emshadweni
Unezinketho eziningi.
Ungaqali ukubelesela, ukugxeka, ukuphonsa izinto, ukusongela isehlukaniso, ukuthandana, noma ukuzilawula ngokomzwelo. Esikhundleni salokho, zama lawa amanye amasu aphumelele ngokwengeziwe.
- Awudingi ukwenza yonke le mibono. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi ngayinye ingakwenza uzizwe ungakhululekile neze. Cabanga ngakunye — futhi uma ungabaza, zifunele ukwelulekwa.
- Tshela oshade naye ukuthi unomuzwa wokuthi uyakhukhuleka muva nje. Buza ukuthi naye uzizwa ngendlela efanayo yini.
- Phakamisa ukwenza izinto ezintsha okhulume ngazo ngokuzenza ngaphambilini—Kodwa akazange athathe isinyathelo.
- Tshela oshade naye ukuthi ningathanda ukuthi nobabili nenze uhlu lwezinto ezizokwenziwa ndawonye.
- Cela ukuhlangabeza isidlo sasemini noma isidlo sakusihlwa phakathi nesonto lomsebenzi. (Uma oshade naye ekhononda ngalokhu — noma ekuhlehlisa — buza ukuthi kwenzekani emsebenzini.)
- Bhala incwadi yothando ubhalele umlingani wakho futhi ufake izinto ozithandayo futhi ozihloniphayo futhi ozithandayo ngaye. Cela oshade naye ukuthi naye enze okufanayo. (Uma owakwakho enza izaba, buza ukuthi kungani angafuni ukukwenza.)
- Tshela oshade naye ukuthi umkhumbule ngokocansi. Noma, lolo cansi alubonakali njengolugculisayo muva nje, futhi ufuna ukwazi ukuthi kungani - nokuthi yini enye oshade naye afuna ukuyenza. (Uma oshade naye ekuxosha, buza ukuthi kungani.)
- Uma kungekho kulezi ziphakamiso ezithuthukisa ubudlelwano — noma uma izimpendulo zoshade naye zikwandisa ukusola kwakho, ungabuza ukuthi ngabe unemizwa ngomunye umuntu yini. Uma oshade naye evuma, ungaphumi ekugcineni! Esikhundleni salokho, yenza noma yiziphi noma zonke izinto ezilandelayo:
- Mcele ukuthi baye ekwelulekeni ndawonye
- Mcele akutshele lonke udaba neqiniso
- Mcele akutshele ukuthi udingani ebudlelwaneni bakho.
- Nika isikhathi sakho sobabili ukufunda, ukwelapha, nokukhulisa ukuxhumana okuqinile.
Ukukopela ngokomzwelo emshadweni kungaba okucashile kakhulu, kakhulu kwesinye isikhathi ngisho nomuntu ukukopela emshadweni kungenzeka kungaziboni izimpawu zokungathembeki kwabo.
Futhi, uma kunikezwe ukuthi akukho ukusondelana ngokomzimba, kwenza kube nzima ukubona izimpawu eziyisixwayiso zokukhohlisa emshadweni.
Ngakho-ke, uma unokusola okukhulayo kokuthi oshade naye kungenzeka ukuthi ukopela emshadweni, ungasebenzisa le ndatshana njengomhlahlandlela wokuqonda ukushintsha komlingani wakho, futhi uma enecala, ungaqala uhambo lwakho lokululama othandweni olungokomzwelo.