-Delile
- Ubudlelwano be-OCD - ukugxila okungenangqondo kokuzibophezela kwezothando
- I-Ocd nomshado
- Ocd nobudlelwano obuseduze
- Ukwesaba okuvamile
- Imicabango engenayo ilandelwa ukusabela okunamandla ngokomzwelo
- Ukukhathazeka kwengqondo nokuphoqeleka
- I-ROCD ixhunyaniswe nokuphelela
- Imizwa ivame ukushintsha nsuku zonke, kepha amanani ethu awashintshi
- Ukwelashwa
- Ukuvikelwa kokuvezwa nokuphendula
Kuyinto evamile ukuba nezinga elithile lokukhathazeka elihlobene nokuba yingxenye yobudlelwano bothando. Ukungabaza umlingani kungaba yinto ejwayelekile, ikakhulukazi lapho izinto zibonakala zingahambi kahle futhi izimpi zivame kakhulu. Yize iningi lethu likhathazeka kancane ngenkathi lisebudlelwaneni, labo abahlushwa yi-Relationship OCD (R-OCD) bangakuthola kubambiswano kucindezela kakhulu futhi kunzima kakhulu. I-Ocd nobudlelwano buyi-web eyinkimbinkimbi futhi imvamisa abagulayo ababuqapheli ubukhulu bezinhlungu nosizi abazilethele bona.
Umthelela we-ocd ebudlelwaneni uzibonakalisa ngesimo semicabango engadingeki, ecindezelayo nezinselelo empilweni yothando. Ubudlelwano be-Ocd nobothando yisihlanganisi esiyinhloko esiholela ekukhungathekeni ekusunguleni nasekugcineni ubudlelwane bezothando.
Ubudlelwano be-OCD - ukugxila okungenangqondo kokuzibophezela kwezothando
Ubudlelwano be-OCD buyisisekelo se-Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) lapho umuntu edliwe ngokweqile ukukhathazeka nokungabaza kugxile ekuzibophezeleni kwabo kothando.
Izimpawu zobuhlobo obsessive compulsive disorder (rocd) ziyefana nezinye izingqikithi ze-OCD lapho ogulayo ehlangabezana nemicabango nezithombe ezingathandeki. Kodwa-ke, nge-ROCD izinkathazo zihlobene ngqo nokunye kwazo okubalulekile. Izimpawu zobudlelwano ze-ocd zifaka phakathi ezinye izindlela zokuziphatha ezingakhiqizi njengokufuna njalo ukuqinisekiswa kubalingani babo ukuthi bayathandwa, okwenza ukuqhathanisa phakathi kwabalingiswa abaqanjiwe, abalingani babangane kanye nabalingani babo.
I-Ocd nomshado
Uma ushade nomuntu one-ocd, bafuna ubufakazi bokuqinisekisa ukuthi umlingani wabo ungumdlalo omuhle. Ukuphazamiseka kobudlelwano obukhathazayo kufaka phakathi abahlushwa ukukhanyisa ubuhlobo babo nomlingani wabo amahora amade. Kungaba umqondo omuhle ukufuna ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano noma ukuthatha ukuhlolwa kobudlelwano be-inthanethi ukuthola ukuthi udinga usizo olwengeziwe.
Ocd nobudlelwano obuseduze
Kubantu abahlukunyezwa i-OCD yobudlelwano, kungacindezela ukujabulela impilo esondelayo. Bathola ukwesaba ukushiywa, izinkinga zomzimba, nokusebenza kokukhathazeka. Amakhono okuphumula njengokuphefumula okujulile nezithombe eziqondisiwe kungaba izindlela ezinhle zokuphumuza amaqembu akho emisipha futhi unciphise umzimba wokukhathazeka nokungavikeleki okungafanele.
Ukwesaba okuvamile
Okunye ukwesaba okuvamile ebudlelwaneni ukuphazamiseka okucindezelayo okubandakanya ukuthi: Kuthiwani uma ngingaheheki ngempela kumlingani wami ?, Kuthiwani uma ngingamthandi ngempela umlingani wami ?, Ngabe lo muntu ongifanele yini ?, Kuthiwani uma kukhona umuntu ongcono phandle lapho? Ukukhathazeka okuphelele ukuthi umuntu angaba nomlingani ongafanele.
Iningi lethu libhekana nemicabango nezithombe eziyinkimbinkimbi nsuku zonke, kepha abantu abangahlupheki ebudlelwaneni i-OCD bavame ukuthola kulula ukubalahla.
Kodwa-ke, kuphambene impela kwabagulayo bobudlelwano obucindezela ngokweqile kobuhlobo.
Imicabango engenayo ilandelwa ukusabela okunamandla ngokomzwelo
Kulabo abahlukumezekile ebudlelwaneni obuyimpoqo bokucindezela, imicabango engathandeki cishe njalo ilandelwa ukusabela okunamandla ngokomzwelo. Bangase babhekane nenhlupheko enkulu (isb., Ukukhathazeka, ukuba necala) futhi lokho kwenza kube nzima ukubona ukungabaluleki komlayezo, ngakho-ke, ukuwulahla.
Abagulayo banomuzwa wokuphuthuma kokuzibandakanya nomqondo futhi, esimweni se-ROCD, bafune izimpendulo. Kungumqondo wokusinda odudula abagulayo be-ROCD ukuthi bathathe izinyathelo zokuqeda ingozi 'ebonakalayo'.
Futhi ukungaqiniseki okunzima ukukuthwala. Abahlukumezekile bangaqeda ubudlelwano babo, hhayi ngoba bathole 'impendulo', kepha ngoba abasakwazi ukubekezelela usizi nokukhathazeka 'kokungazi' noma bakwenza lokho ngenxa yecala (“Ngingaqamba amanga kanjani kumlingani wami futhi konakalisa impilo yabo? ”).
Ukukhathazeka kwengqondo nokuphoqeleka
Nge-ROCD, kokubili ukukhathazeka nokuphoqelelwa kungokwengqondo, ngakho-ke azikho amasiko abonakalayo ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukuthi ubudlelwano budinga ukuchitha isikhathi kubo, abahluphekayo baqala ukufuna ukuqinisekiswa.
Bazobandakanyeka ekuhleleni okungapheli, bachitha amahora amaningi befuna izimpendulo. Bangaqhathanisa okunye kwabo okubalulekile kozakwethu bangaphambilini noma basebenzise ‘usizo’ lwe-Google (isb., Googling “Ngazi kanjani ukuthi nginomuntu ofanele?”).
Abanye abanenkinga yobudlelwano bokucindezela ngokweqile babheka eminye imibhangqwana ukuthola umbono wokuthi ubuhlobo 'obuphumelelayo' kufanele buvele kanjani. Kujwayelekile futhi ukuzama ukulawula othandekayo noma ukunaka imininingwane emincane (isb., Ukubukeka kozakwethu, umlingiswa, njll.).
Ukugwema nakho kuyisici esabiwe phakathi kwabagulayo be-ROCD. Bangakugwema ukusondelana nokusondelana nomlingani wabo noma benqabe ukwenza ezinye izinto zothando.
I-ROCD ixhunyaniswe nokuphelela
I-ROCD nayo ivame ukuxhunyaniswa nokuphelela. Iphethini yokucabanga esontekile evame kakhulu ekupheleleni ukucabanga konke-noma-lutho (dichotomous).
Ngakho-ke uma izinto zingafani ncamashi nendlela okufanele 'zibe' ngayo, azilungile. Kubukeka sengathi kunenkolelo phakathi kwabahlushwa ubudlelwano bokucindezela ngokweqile kobudlelwano ukuthi umuntu kufanele azizwe ngendlela ethile (isb., "Umuntu kufanele azizwe njalo exhumekile ku-100% kumlingani wakhe") noma ukuthi kunezici ezithile noma izindlela zokuziphatha ezizocacisa ubudlelwano obuyimpumelelo (isib. ukubambana ngezandla lapho uphakathi kwabantu, uhlale uzizwa unothando ngomlingani wakho).
Isifiso sokuzwa ngendlela ethile singadala ingcindezi enkulu. Kungadala nezinselelo zocansi ebudlelwaneni, njengoba kunzima (uma kungenzeki) ukwenza ngaphansi kwengcindezi.
Lapho sifisa ukuzwa imizwa 'ngokuphelele' lapho-ke sigcina singayitholi imizwa.
Isibonelo, uma ubusephathini futhi uqhubeka uzibuza ukuthi “Ingabe ngizijabulisa njengamanje?”
Lokhu kungasusa kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho ephathini. Lokhu kusho nokuthi asigxili esikhathini samanje. Ngakho-ke esikhundleni sokuzabalaza ukuzizwa ngendlela ethile, umuntu angafuna ukugxila ekuqhubekeni nempilo yansuku zonke nemisebenzi ehilelayo. Ngakho-ke, uma umuntu ethatha isinqumo sokukhipha umlingani wakhe bayodla isidlo sasebusuku sothando, kufanele bazame ukwenza umzamo wokuqhubeka nokwenza kanjalo yize bengathola imicabango engathandeki futhi bazizwe bengakhululekile (isb., Ukukhathazeka, necala).
Kungasiza ukuzikhumbuza ukuthi inhloso akusikho ukuthi sijabulele umcimbi (noma sizizwe sihle ngawo), njengoba kungenzeka ukuthi sizibekela ukwehluleka.
Kukhona ukuqonda okungelona iqiniso phakathi kwabaguliswa ubudlelwano bokucindezela ngokweqile kobudlelwano ukuthi umuntu akakwazi ukuhehwa ngabantu abangaphezu koyedwa ngasikhathi sinye, ngakho-ke, noma nini lapho ogulayo ezizwa ekhanga kothile komunye umuntu bavame ukuzizwa benecala elikhulu futhi ukukhathazeka. Bazama ukufihla leyo mizwa ngokuhoxa (okungukuthi, ukugwema) noma bavume kumlingani wabo.
Abagulayo bobudlelwano obucindezela ngokweqile bobudlelwano bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi badinga ukuba 'bathembeke' kokunye kwabo okubalulekile futhi babelane noma "bavume" ukungabaza kwabo. Iqiniso ukuthi kuyinto ejwayelekile ngokuphelele ukuthola abanye abantu bekhanga ngenkathi besebudlelwaneni bokuzibophezela. Siyazi ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi sakhetha umuntu esinaye ngezizathu ezinkulu hhayi nje ngokuya ngemizwa esake sayizwa ngesikhathi esisodwa.
Imizwa ivame ukushintsha nsuku zonke, kepha amanani ethu awashintshi
Kuhle ukuzikhumbuza ukuthi imizwa nemizwa ivame ukushintsha nsuku zonke, kepha izindinganiso zethu azishintshi neze. Akunakwenzeka ukuzwa i-100% ixhunywe kuyo futhi inothando ngabalingani bethu ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ubudlelwano buyashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngakho-ke singaba nobunzima uma sifisa ukuzizwa ngendlela efanayo esasizizwa ngayo ekuqaleni kobudlelwano bethu. Kodwa-ke, labo ababhajwe egobolondweni lobudlelwano bokucindezela ngokweqile benqaba ukukholelwa kanjalo.
Ukwelashwa
Ukwelashwa kwezithandani kungenzeka kube yinselele lapho umelaphi engajwayeleki nalesi simo. Kuyadingeka ukuthi ungagcini nje ngokufundisa ogulayo kepha futhi nozakwethu nge-OCD ne-ROCD.
Ukuvikelwa kokuvezwa nokuphendula
Ukuvikela ukuvezwa nokuphendula (i-ERP) yindlela yokwelashwa eyaziwa ukuthi iphumelele kakhulu ekwelapheni i-OCD. Izindlela ze-ERP zidinga ukuthi umuntu onenkinga yobudlelwano obucindezelayo bobudlelwano azivumele ngokuzithandela ukuvezwa yena kanye nezinto kanye nemibono abayisabayo (isb., 'Kukhona ithuba lokuthi nginozakwethu ongafanele').
Ukuzijwayeza ukuvivinya umzimba ngokuphindaphindiwe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuvumela abanenkinga yobudlelwano obucindezela ubudlelwano ithuba lokufunda ukuthi bangaphila kanjani nokungabaza nezinkathazo zabo nokuthi bangayilawula kanjani imicabango engathandeki ngobudlelwano nokunye kwabo okubalulekile.