-Delile
- Ukulindela okungokoqobo ebuhlotsheni
- Ubudlelwano phakathi kwendoda nenkosikazi
- Ukuqonda umehluko wethu
- Isipikili sokugcina ebhokisini lomngcwabo
- Kafushane
Kufanele ukuthi uyizwe izikhathi eziyizigidi, kungaba ngempilo noma ngobudlelwano lapho umuntu kufanele ehlise ukulindela kwabo ebudlelwaneni noma empilweni. Lesi seluleko, nokho, asihlali kahle nabantu abaningi.
Phakathi kwabo kukhona uProfesa we-University of South Carolina we-Psychology, uDonald Baucom.
Ngemuva kokuhlobene nensimu isikhathi esingaphezu kweminyaka eyishumi, enza ucwaningo nokuhlaziya, ukuphethe lokho abantu ngokuvamile bathola abakulindele - kusuka empilweni kanye nobudlelwano.
Kufana nokudedela izinhlobo ezithile zamandla endaweni yonke; uheha lokho okudedelayo.
I-Baucom inenkolelo yokuthi uma umuntu engehlisa amazinga akhe ecabanga ukuthi yilokhu okukhona ebudlelwaneni, futhi yilokhu impilo okufanele ibe yikho, ngakho-ke banikeza abanye babo abalulekile wonke amathuba okuba bawahambe.
Uthole ukuthi abantu abanezindinganiso eziphakeme bafuna ngamabomu abanye ababalulekile abanezinhlonipho ezingcono, izindinganiso zenhlalo nezamasiko, kanye nokukhuliswa; futhi ngenxa yamathemba abo aphezulu, umlingani wabo uyazi ukuthi abakwazi ukunyathelwa phansi futhi banyathela kancane.
Ukulindela okungokoqobo ebuhlotsheni
Uma sekushiwo lokho, kubalulekile ukugcina okulindelwe kobudlelwano kungokoqobo futhi kufinyeleleke.
Ukuqonda oshade naye, ukushayela kwabo, izifiso zabo, nezinhloso zabo kubalulekile.
Okunye okulindelwe okungalungile ukuthi wonke umuntu ulindele ukuba nomuzi ofana ncamashi uma ungafani ncamashi nokukhula kwakhe. Uma omama babo bengabaninimakhaya futhi obaba behola isinkwa, balindele ukuthi abashade nabo balandele umbono ofanayo. Benganaki iqiniso lokuthi abalingani babo bebengakhuliswa ngomqondo ohluke ngokuphelele, babeka okulindelwe, okugcina kuholele ekudumazekeni komunye umkhawulo noma yomibili.
Umuntu kufanele afunde umehluko emshadweni phakathi kwabazali babo nowabo.
Njengoba isisho sithi, sigcina sishada noma sihlala nomuntu ofana nabazali bethu okuhle kakhulu.
Kungenxa yokuthi kunengqondo yokuphepha noma ukuzola i-aura yabo ekuhlinzekayo. Kodwa-ke, ukugcina okulindelwe kokuthi bazokwakha ikhaya elifanayo kumane nje kuwukucindezela imingcele yomuntu.
Ukulindela kobudlelwano kufanele kwakhiwe ngesikhathi futhi kufanele kuhlale kuhamba. Umuntu akanakulindela ukuthi unkosikazi wakhe weminyaka eyishumi aziphathe ngendlela efanayo njengoba enza phakathi neminyaka yokuqala.
Ubudlelwano phakathi kwendoda nenkosikazi
Njengoba kuphakanyisiwe ngaphambili, abantu kufanele babeke amazinga abo phezulu futhi bakholelwe ukuthi ikusasa labo elibalulekile elinye kufanele libathande, libahloniphe, futhi libahloniphe; ukuthi bazophila ngokujabula njalo.
Kodwa-ke, kufanele futhi bazi ukuthi ayikho into enjalo. Lapho nje isikhathi se-honeymoon siphela, futhi ekugcineni, futhi ukuqala kwempilo yangempela, izingxabano zemizuzu nezincane ziqala.
Futhi umuntu udinga ukukhumbula ukuthi wena nomunye wakho obalulekile ningabantu ababili abahlukene futhi abahlukile. Unezimiso ezihlukile, amanani, izingqondo, nenqubo yokucabanga. Azikho izingane zakwethu ezimbili ezifanayo, pho-ke abantu ababili abangabazi bangafana kanjani?
Ukuqonda umehluko wethu
Ukwehluka kobuntu emshadweni kuvame ngokweqile.
Wake wezwa ngokuphikisana okuhehayo? Okunye kwakho okuphawulekayo kungokuphambene kwakho, uhhafu wakho ongcono. Kuzoba nezikhathi lapho nizoxabana khona, nilwe, nixabane, nibe nezikhawu, kodwa kuzoba nohlobo oluthile lwenhlonipho enhliziyweni yomlingani wakho ngawe.
Ukuxabana kungokwemvelo inqobo nje uma inhloso yalaba bashadikazi ihlala injalo. Ukuphela kwendlela yokuphumelela ebudlelwaneni lapho abantu ababili bephikisana khona polar kulapho bobabili amaqembu ezofunda ukuthi ukuqonda umehluko kuyindlela kuphela yokuqhubekela phambili nokwakha impilo ejabulisayo.
Ukuqonda ebudlelwaneni futhi kuyindlela yenhlonipho nenhlonipho oyinwebiselayo kumlingani wakho. Kufana nokuthi uyabavuma njengomuntu ohlukile futhi ubanikeza indawo yokukhula iqhubeke, esikhundleni sokulahla okulindele kubo.
Ukugcina okulindelwe ebudlelwaneni bakho kuphansi akusho ukuthi uvumela abanye bakunyathele.
Isipikili sokugcina ebhokisini lomngcwabo
Ukulindela okungalindelekile.
Bonke ubudlelwano - kungaba babangani, osebenza nabo, abathandi, noma abasemshadweni - kumele bube nokuxhumana. Umuntu akanakulindela owakwakhe ukuthi abenzele izinto, abangakaze baxoxe ngazo. Ekupheleni kosuku, bangabalingani bakho, hhayi abenzi bemilingo ukuze bafunde ingqondo yakho futhi bakhuphule konke okufunayo. Gcina okulindelwe ebudlelwaneni bakho kuphezulu kepha kungokoqobo.
Akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukwenza umzamo.
Abesilisa ngokuvamile bazama ukuphuma ezintweni ngokuthi ukuqonda ingqondo yowesifazane kuyinto engenakwenzeka.
Sonke sibone inqwaba yama-memes namahlaya. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi abantu abafunda izingqondo; Kodwa-ke, ngemuva kokuchitha isikhathi esiningi, kwezinye izimo iminyaka noma amashumi eminyaka, umuntu angaba nokuqagela okufundile maqondana neminqweno nokulindelwe ngumlingani wakho.
Ngasohlangothini oluhle, noma ngabe umlingani wakho ebengakulindele ukuthi uvele ugeze izitsha ngaphandle kokucela, ulethe isixha sezimbali ngaphandle kwanoma yisiphi isikhathi, noma upheke isidlo sakusihlwa noma u-ode ukudla; kungaba isimanga esihle!
Okufanayo kuya nakwabesifazane; ukuqonda umyeni wakho noma okungenani ukuzama ukwenza kanjalo kuyingxenye ebalulekile yomshado. Ukwazi izifiso zoshade naye, ukuzifeza, noma ukuzihlonipha kuyingxenye nesabelo sabo bonke ubuhlobo.
Kafushane
Ukulindelwa yigama eligwetshiwe kangangokuba abantu bavame ukuziqhelelanisa nalo, futhi lowo olindele ukwelashwa okungcono noma isimilo esingcono kwabanye wenziwa azizwe sengathi uyena ongaziwa.
Ukulindela kobudlelwano akudingeki kungafinyeleleki noma kusabise.
Zingabiwa futhi zisetshenzwe futhi kufanele zitholakale kalula. Abantu, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, bashintsha baba ngcono; kanjalo nokulindelwe.