-Delile
- Kuhlala kumayelana nobudlelwano
- Kwenzekani empilweni yowesifazane uma engazinakekeli izidingo zengane yakhe?
- Bafaka izinhlungu ngaphakathi
- Simema ukuhlukunyezwa uma sikuthatha ngokungakhathali
- Imithwalo yomndeni ifana nokuya esikhumulweni sezindiza
- Sikhangwa ukuthola abalingani abamele izici ezimbi zabazali bethu
- Ukungqubuzana kwezidingo ezingafinyeleli nokwesaba kuvela ebuntwaneni bethu
- Gwema ukuthuthukisa ulimi lomsubathi
- Thuthukisa ukuzethemba nokuxhumana okunempilo ukusetha imingcele
Ubudlelwano buba buthaka ngenxa yobuhlungu nezinhlungu njalo.
Kusuka ezinhlungwini ezinzima zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba kuze kube sekufeni ngama-papercuts ayinkulungwane avela ekuhlukunyezweni ngamazwi, ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Abantu abafuna ukwelulekwa ngokwengqondo abalokothi bafune usizo ngoba izimpilo zabo zihamba kahle futhi bayajabula ekhaya nasemsebenzini.
Kuhlala kumayelana nobudlelwano
Akekho umuntu oboshelwa ukuthi “naye” uyajabula ngaphandle kokuthi agcine esethole ubuthi emzimbeni- futhi angibaboni ngokujwayelekile emisebenzini yami.
UFrud nobudlelwano bezinto zakhe nabathilethi balungile.
Konke kuza ngobudlelwano bomzali nengane. Izelamani kanye nontanga baphonswa lapho nakanjani.
Abantu izidalwa ezingokomzwelo futhi sikulungele ukunakekelwa nokunakekelwa ngenkathi sikhula kancane.
Sithembele kubanakekeli bethu ukuze basondle, basivikele, futhi basiduduze kanye nokunakekela izidingo zethu eziyisisekelo zabantu - cabanga ngoHulumeni lukaMaslow lwezidingo. Izinga lokuqala izidingo zomzimba zomsoco, ukoma, ukukhathala nokuhlanzeka.
Zibuze, "hlobo luni lwendawo noma umnakekeli ongakwazi ukuhlangabezana nalezi zidingo eziyisisekelo?" Vele, ukugxila okuyinhloko kuzoba ukunakekelwa kukamama kusenesikhathi kwengane nobaba kunomthelela omkhulu- ngqo nangokungaqondile kumama, imvelo, nasenganeni.
Kwenzekani empilweni yowesifazane uma engazinakekeli izidingo zengane yakhe?
Ingabe ucindezelekile ezingeni lofuzo ngaphandle kwemithi? Ingabe udangele ngenxa yobuhlobo bakhe nobaba? Ngabe uyahlukunyezwa futhi ucindezelekile? Ingabe ucindezeleke kakhulu ukuba angakwazi ukunakekela izidingo zengane? Indlu? njll.
Ngabe uphendukele emithini noma ekusebenziseni kabi izidakamizwa ukuze anqande izinhlungu zokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe? Yini indima kababa empilweni yakhe engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo? Iyini indima yakhe uma izidakamizwa ziyingxenye yesibalo? Imibuzo ayipheli. Izimpendulo zichaza umthwalo ohanjiswe phambili. Izinga lesibili lezidingo izidingo zokuphepha, njengesidingo sokuzizwa uvikelekile kanye nokukwazi ukugwema ubuhlungu nokukhathazeka.
Izinga lesithathu ngezidingo nezidingo zothando. Iningi lamakhasimende ami lichaze ubuntwana babo "nokujwayelekile" kanye nokuziphatha ngendlela enokhahlo futhi yokujezisa, njengamabhande, izigwedlo, "noma yini etholakalayo."
Bafaka izinhlungu ngaphakathi
Laba bazali, abanezitayela zokuba ngabazali abanobushiqela, abangaphenduli, futhi abangashintshi, benza ubuhlungu ukuze bafundise izingane zabo okulungile nokungalungile futhi bakholelwe esiyalweni “sesikole esidala”. Yize ezinye izingane zingasabela kahle kulezi zinyathelo, eziningi azisenzi.
Bafaka ubuhlungu obukhulu ngaphakathi ngomthamo oqinile ka- “F- you!” ngasikhathi sinye. Imvamisa, abazali abanjalo abavumelani, bathumela imiyalezo exubile yothando nenzondo, noma okubi nakakhulu, ukwenqatshwa kuphela.
Izehlukaniso nganoma yisiphi isizathu akuvamile ukuba zilunge futhi zizoletha ezabo izinhlungu, izinhlungu nokwesaba. Ukwesaba kuyisisusa sethu esikhulu.
Intukuthelo ihlangene nabantu ngemizwa evezwe kakhulu nangokufunda komphakathi ngokubuka kuhlangene nokuhlangenwe nakho okuqondile. Bafundiswa ukulimaza umuntu ukuze abafundise ukuthi benze okuthile okungalungile. Bafundiswa ukulimaza umuntu lapho bephula okulindele. Sifundisa abantu ukuthi basiphathe kanjani.
Simema ukuhlukunyezwa uma sikuthatha ngokungakhathali
Simema ukuhlukunyezwa lapho sikuthatha ngaphandle kokuqinisa imingcele nemiphumela efanele. Simema udlame lapho sisebenzisa ulaka ngoba kuzobe kukhona labo abathathe isinqumo sokuthi, “Angisayikukuthatha lokho” futhi bakhetha ukuzivikela ngochuku.
Ngakho-ke, amasu ethu enkolelo kanye ne-schema yokuqonda yakhiwa ngokusebenzisa lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho nokuxhumana.
Ubuhlungu nezinhlungu zethu kanye nezimbangela zethu kusungulwa isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba siqale ukuphola.
Futhi lapho okuba buhlungu kakhulu okwenzeka ebuntwaneni kwabantu abaningi, kulapho kujula khona amanxeba nezinhlungu. Futhi lapho babedinga kakhulu ukuba nobudlelwano obuseduze baxazulula izinkinga zabo. Alikho iklayenti elilodwa eliye labona imicu yamandla emindeni yabo ngaphakathi kokwehluleka kobudlelwano babo abadala baze baphoqelelwa ekwelashweni ngandlela thile.
Njengomeluleki wami, uDkt Walsh wathi evikini lokuqala lokufundela kwami isikole, “Akekho oza ekwelashweni ngokuzithandela. Bayalelwe yinkantolo noma abalingani babo bayaliwe. ” Ekwenzeni kwami ukugxila ebudlelwaneni obusenkingeni (ngokuzithandela nokuyalelwa yinkantolo), ngaphansi kwamaphesenti amahlanu amakhasimende ami abe ngokuzithandela.
Futhi izingqinamba zabo nezinkinga zabo azikaze zehluke kunalezo ezisengcupheni yezingxabano zabo ezeqa imingcele ezibandakanya ukuphoqelelwa komthetho.
Imithwalo yomndeni ifana nokuya esikhumulweni sezindiza
Amaklayenti afunda ekwelashweni ukuthi imithwalo yemindeni yawo ifana nokuya esikhumulweni sezindiza. Ngeke umane ubeke phansi umthwalo wakho uhambe kuwo. Iboshwe emaqakaleni akho ngezintambo zensimbi futhi ibambeka kozakwethu - kwesinye isikhathi njengamandla wezimboni iVelcro - iminyene ngokuphelele futhi incike ekuthembekeni.
Kakhulu wonke umuntu onesimo esibuhlungu sasekhaya uphendukela ebudlelwaneni obuseduze ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zakhe zothando, ukwamukelwa, ukubaluleka nokwondliwa. Futhi kaningi, phendukela otshwaleni nasezidakamizweni ukuze ukhulule izinhlungu futhi uzijabulise ezindaweni eziguqukile.
UDkt.Harville Hendricks, owelapha isikhathi eside kwezobudlelwano nombhali wezincwadi, Ukuthola Uthando Olufunayo, uxoxa nge-IMAGO, okusho isibuko. I-Imago yethu ukumelwa okwenziwa ngaphakathi kwabanakekeli bethu izici ezinhle nezimbi.
Sikhangwa ukuthola abalingani abamele izici ezimbi zabazali bethu
Umbono wakhe, ozwelana kakhulu namakhasimende ami, uthi sikhangwa ngokunganakile ukuthola ozakwethu abamele izici nezindlela ezimbi zabazali bethu. Impilo yami uqobo ikubeke ngokusobala ukungazi lutho kokukhetha kwabalingani bethu nokuhehayo.
Ngenhlanhla, ezingeni eliphansi nelibekezelelekayo elivumela ukuhlolwa kwezihloko nezinkinga zokukhula noshintsho.
Ngokwethiyori, uma sizizwa sinqatshiwe futhi singabalulekile ebuntwaneni (isb., I-middle child syndrome, umzali ongumlutha wotshwala noma kulandela isehlukaniso), sizothola umuntu osenza sizizwe ngendlela efanayo empilweni. Mhlawumbe umlingani usebenza ngokweqile noma uhamba kakhulu ngenxa yomsebenzi.
Lokho kungazizwa ngokufanayo (okungukuthi, unesizungu, ulahliwe, ungabalulekile) njengokushada nomlutha wotshwala, umuntu ochitha sonke isikhathi sakhe ukuzingela, ukudoba, ukudlala igalofu noma ukuzulazula emotweni yakhe ngenkathi ekushiya ekhaya.
Uma sizizwe sithwele imithwalo yemfanelo (okungukuthi, ukuba ngumzali) ngezizathu ezifanayo, khona-ke imisebenzi nezibopho zizozizwa zifana, noma ngabe sifuna ukuhlala ekhaya njengomzali ngokuzikhethela. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ulwazi lungakukala ngokungazizwa usekelwa futhi ulinganiselwe ngemisebenzi nemisebenzi yasendlini.
Ukungqubuzana kwezidingo ezingafinyeleli nokwesaba kuvela ebuntwaneni bethu
Uma enezindinganiso “ezivamile,” angakholelwa ukuthi ufeza indima yakhe njengomhlinzeki wokuletha ubhekeni ekhaya nokuthi imisebenzi yasendlini iwumsebenzi “wowesifazane”. Ngakho-ke, ukungqubuzana kwezidingo ezingafinyelelwanga nokwesaba nemizwa kuvela ekujuleni kobuntwana bethu. Siba namandla kakhulu kokuhlangenwe nakho okufanayo kwesikhathi esedlule futhi asifuni ukuzwa leyo mizwa njengabantu abadala.
Okhiye bokushintsha ukukhomba izimbangela nezidingo ezingafinyelelwanga. Khomba ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nabo kangcono usebenzisa ifomethi ethi "Ngizizwa", futhi ufunde ukubona izindlela zakho zokucekela phansi, njengokuvala uthule "ngoba akekho umuntu onendaba nami noma umbono wami."
Noma ukumemeza "uqinisekise" ukuthi uyezwakala - akusebenzi.
Abantu abaningi ubudlelwano babo obubi futhi obungaphumeleli abakaze bafunde amakhono okuxhumana aphilile kwasekuqaleni.
Babanjwa belwa, bengachazi noma becela usizo. Ukwesaba kwethu ukuba sengozini kubangela ukuthi sixhumane ngokungaqondile, cha, noma nobuthi ngenxa yokwesaba ukuvezwa.
Kunzima ukwethemba abanye ngenkathi labo esikhathini esedlule bebengathembekile. Noma kunjalo, kufanele sethembe ngokwanele ukuthola ukuthi uzongilimaza noma cha. Kancane. Ubudlelwano obunempilo abufuni ukulimazana futhi bubangele izinhlungu.
Cabanga ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuqala ngamabomu ubuhlungu bakho nezinhlungu. Funda ukulwa ngokulingana.
Gwema ukuthuthukisa ulimi lomsubathi
Gwema ukufaka unyawo lwakho emlonyeni wakho nokuthuthukisa "ulimi lomsubathi". Asisoze sawabuyisa amazwi okulimaza, futhi anamathela ezimbanjeni. Kungakho ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo, ngokomzwelo nangamazwi kulimaza ngaphezu komzimba. Imivimbo nokusikeka kuyaphola, amagama azwakala ezindlebeni.
Thuthukisa ukuzethemba nokuxhumana okunempilo ukusetha imingcele
Ukusabela nemiphumela engafanele kuyizimpawu zemizwa evezwe kakhulu nokungazethembi okufundwe ebuntwaneni nokuqhuma noma ukufaka ebudlelwaneni babantu abadala.
Ubudlelwano kungukushintshana ngamandla angokomzwelo. Uphuma kukho okufakile.
Uthando alulingani neChaos + Drama! Khuluma ngomoya ophansi nangokucacile. Yindlela kuphela abantu abazonakekela ngayo. Lalela ngenhloso yokufunda, hhayi ukuvikela nokuhlukanisa.
Landela ama-STAHRS 7 Value Core. I-BERRITT (Yiba "Ngakwesokudla"): Ukulinganisela, Ukulingana, Inhlonipho, Ukuzibophezela, Ubuqotho, Ukusebenzisana, Ukuthembana.
Futhi uzoba ngaphambi komdlalo.
Jabulela unyaka omusha. Kungaba yisikhathi sokuhlola kabusha ikhwalithi yobudlelwano bakho. Ungaba nenhlanhla futhi ube yingxenye yamaphesenti angamashumi amabili nanhlanu ajabule. Inhlanhla ngempilo yakho nobudlelwano bakho. Asikaze sibe nendawo noma isikhathi sobudlelwano obubi. Ubudlelwano obunempilo kuphela obenza izimpilo zethu zibe ngcono.