AmaFulegi Abomvu angama-25 ebuhlotsheni ongafanele Ubanake

Umlobi: Monica Porter
Usuku Lokudalwa: 20 Hamba 2021
Ukuvuselela Usuku: 27 Ujuni 2024
Anonim
AmaFulegi Abomvu angama-25 ebuhlotsheni ongafanele Ubanake - Incwadi Ehlukene Yengqondo
AmaFulegi Abomvu angama-25 ebuhlotsheni ongafanele Ubanake - Incwadi Ehlukene Yengqondo

-Delile

Sonke sizwe isisho esithi “abantu ngeke baphumelele kahle ngokuhlukana kwengqondo, umzimba nomoya.” Kubalulekile ukuthi wonke umuntu azihlanganyele ebudlelwaneni bomuntu siqu, obungahle bube yinto engatheni noma buhlale isikhathi eside. Kepha ngokwazi ukuthi yimaphi amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni, umuntu angazivikela.

Uma ucabangela umuntu othile, udinga ukuhlola ukuthi ngabe ubona ikusasa naye. Umlingani wakho angaveza kuphela izinhlangothi zabo ezinhle, kepha kungahle kube nokuningi ngaphansi. Ngokuqaphelisisa, ungahle ubone amafulegi abomvu kwezokuphola angakuqondisa phambili.

Futhi Zama: Amafulegi Obomvu Obudlelwano: Ingabe Ubudlelwano Bami busengozini yemibuzo?

Yini amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni?

UDebbie L. London, encwadini yakhe ethi ‘Your Facade is Showing’, ukhuluma ngamafulegi abomvu njengezimpawu zokuxwayisa eziyizinkomba ezikhathazayo zezinkinga ezizofika ebudlelwaneni.


Uma umlingani wakho ehlanganyela ekuziphatheni okusolisayo, enokuthambekela kokulutha, noma eyingxenye yezenzo ezingekho emthethweni noma ezingamukeleki ezingakaxazululwa, kufanele uziphathe njengamafulegi abomvu okuqala ebudlelwaneni.

Funda ukubuza imibuzo ethile ngaphandle kwesango ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukukhulisa imizwa enamandla. Bangakunika ithuba lokubuka noma yimaphi amafulegi abomvu angahle abe yinkinga ngokuzayo.

Kungani kungafanele unganaki amafulegi abomvu obudlelwano

Ukusebenzisana ebudlelwaneni, yebo, kubalulekile, kepha akukho lapho kuseduze khona njengoba kubaluleke njengezici umlingani wakho angaba nazo ezingasoze zikusebenzele. Lawa amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni nowesilisa noma owesifazane angaba ngama-breakers kubantu abaningi.

Ngisho nokuhambisana okuphezulu, uma bebamba noma yiziphi izaphulelo zakho zesivumelwano, njengomuntu ophuza kakhulu noma obhemayo, ungahle ucabange ukugqashula izinto. Amanye amafulegi abomvu amakhulu ebudlelwaneni anamandla okonakalisa yonke into futhi ayizimpawu zangempela zokuxwayisa.


Ukuziba amadili okuthengiselana akucebisi ngoba kungakha intukuthelo noma kuholele ezinkingeni ezibaluleke kakhulu ngokuzayo. Ngakho-ke, themba imvelo yakho ngaphezu kwakho konke okunye njengoba izama ukukuholela enjabulweni yakho.

Amafulegi abomvu angama-25 okungafanele neze uwashaye indiva

Noma ngabe amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni noma emshadweni, ungahle uwele ebudlelwaneni obubi noma uhudulele obucindezelayo phambili uma wehluleka ukuzibona. Ngezansi kukhona amafulegi abomvu obudlelwano obukhulu nama-break breakers ongawabheka:

1. Ukuxhumana okungekuhle

Ngenye yamafulegi abomvu okuqala wokuphola uma omunye umuntu ukuthola kunzima ukuxhumana nawe ngezinkinga nemizwa. Imvamisa, noma yini “exoxwayo” ivezwa ngokuzihlukanisa noma imizwa yabo, futhi kwesinye isikhathi ngisho nangokuthi "bangathuli."


2. Ukuqamba amanga okuphoqayo

Ubudlelwano amafulegi abomvu abafana namantombazane afaka lapho umuntu engathembekile. Uma bengathembekile kubo uqobo, ungalindeli ukuthi bazothembeka kuwe. Uma ukungathembeki okuphindaphindiwe kuba yinkinga, uzitholele umqambimanga weqiniso.

Ukuqamba amanga kungenye yamafulegi abomvu wokuxhumana ajwayelekile. Umeluleki uDavid Joseph, encwadini yakhe ethi ‘Compulsive Lying in Relationships,’ ukhuluma ngokuthi ukuqamba amanga kungagcina kubuqede kanjani ubudlelwano. Kuholela ekungabazeni nasekuqondaneni okungenampilo emangalisayo ebudlelwaneni.

3. Ukungathathi umthwalo

Umuntu ongaziphenduli ngezenzo zakhe untula ubuqotho nenhlonipho ngawe. Wonke umuntu uyawenza amaphutha, kepha kuyisibonakaliso sokuvuthwa nokuzimisela ukwenza izinto zisebenze lapho othile amukela ukusolwa.

Ngokuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo, abantu bangakhombisa ukuzisola kwabo nokuvuma okungalungile abakwenzile. Kufanele ikunikeze ithemba lokuthi izinto ziba ngcono ngokuzayo. Kepha ukwenqaba nokusola abanye kungenye yamafulegi abomvu abomvu ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside.

4. Ukungathembeki

Uma umlingani wakho ekukhohlisa nomunye umuntu, kuyifulegi elibomvu elisobala. Ukukhaphela kuwuphawu lokungahloniphi nokudelela umlingani wakho. Uma benicaciselekile ngokuthandana kuphela, khona-ke kunesikhala sokungathembeki.

Ungakhetha ukuthethelela umlingani wakho, kepha khumbula ukuthi abaphinde bakukhohlise. Gcina iso eliqaphile ngoba amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni obufana nalobu avame ukubikezela izinto ezimbi ngekusasa. Ucwaningo luye lwabona ingozi eyengeziwe yokungathembeki okuthembekile nokungathembeki ebudlelwaneni obudlule.

5. Ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi nangokomzimba

Kwesinye isikhathi izingxabano phakathi kwezithandani zingashushisa, kepha ayikho indawo yokuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi noma ngokomzimba kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo. Ubuhlobo obubucayi bobudlelwano obuyinkinga lapho umlingani wakho eletha ubuthi ngokukujikijela ngamazwi ahlambalazayo nalimazayo.

Ngisho nokuphonsa izinto ohlangothini lwakho kungakhuphukela ezenzweni ezimbi kakhulu. Ucwaningo luveze ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi uqobo kungaba nolaka kakhulu futhi kube namandla.

6. Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi

Ucansi luyingxenye yobudlelwano obuningi. Kodwa-ke, kufanele kube nokuvumelana ngokuhlanganyela kuzo zonke izici zayo. Kufanele kube yinto ejabulisayo kubo bobabili, futhi akekho umuntu okufanele azizwe engakhululekile noma ephuliwe nganoma iyiphi indlela. Khumbula, cha kusho njalo cha.

Ukuhlukumeza ngokocansi kuyindlela yobudlova, futhi kungenye yamafulegi abomvu asabekayo okufanele uwaqaphele ebudlelwaneni. Izinto zingaba yingozi uma ungacabangi ukukuqeda lokhu ngemuva kokuthi lokhu kwenzeke.

7. Akekho umuntu othanda lo muntu ngenxa yakho

Kulungile, wake wazibuza ukuthi kungani umndeni wakho nabangane kubonakala bengamthandi umuntu omthandayo?

Akuyona into yomuntu siqu, kepha babona okuthile nalo muntu okungazizwa kulungile. Abantu abakuthandayo banendaba nenhlala-kahle yakho, ngakho-ke ukungathandi kwabo bebonke kubalulekile ifulegi elibomvu lobudlelwano.

8. Ukugcina izimfihlo

Ubudlelwano bakhiwe ngokwethembana nenhlonipho. Lapho umlingani wakho eqala ukugcina izimfihlo kuwe, yiphathe njengenye yamafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni. Kuphakathi kokuthi uzizwa engavikelekile ngawe, noma abakuthembi. Ngakho-ke, kungani uzinikeza wonke umuntu ongakwethembi futhi ancike kuwe?

9.Ukuba nempahla ngokweqile

Kuyinto enhle lapho umlingani wakho efuna ukuthi uchithe isikhathi esithe xaxa nabo. Kodwa ukweqisa akukaze kube kuhle. Noma ngubani ofuna nonke nina uqobo angaba yingozi kini. Amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni obufana nalokhu akwazisa ngaphambi kokuba izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu.

Ukuchitha isikhathi nomlingani wakho akufanele neze kulimaze inkululeko yakho nokuzimela kwakho. Kuyimpilo emibhangqwaneni ukuba nezinto zokuzilibazisa ezihlukene nemibuthano yomphakathi. Noma imuphi umlingani ohluleka ukukunikeza isikhala angagcina ekwenze uzizwe ufuthaniselwe.

10. Ukubuza abangani bakho nomndeni wakho

Ozakwethu abanemali bazoya kude nokuzonda abangane bakho nokubenza bazonde wena. Bangase bahlale bephawula ukuze bakubuze ngobuhlobo bakho nabangane bakho noma ngisho namalungu omndeni wakho. Phatha lokhu njengefulegi elibomvu lapho uthandana nowesilisa noma nowesifazane.

Ukukuhlukanisa nenethiwekhi yakho yezenhlalo kungenye yamafulegi abomvu athule ebudlelwaneni. Kungalimaza kakhulu inhlalakahle yakho yonke, futhi ukwehluleka ukuqaphela amafulegi abomvu anjalo ngaphambi komshado kuyindlela eqinisekile yokulahlekelwa uhlelo lwakho lokusekela.

11. Okudlule okuyimfihlo okuyimfihlo

Zama ukuqoqa imininingwane ethile ngomlingani wakho omusha. Babuze imibuzo mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kwangaphambilini kanye nomlando wokuthandana. Musa ukuxubha noma yimaphi ala mafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni lapho uthandana.

Ukuziphatha kwangaphambilini kungabeka isisekelo sezenzo zesikhathi esizayo. Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi ubudlelwano obudlule bungathinta ubudlelwano obulandelayo njengoba bunomthelela ekuziphatheni nasekuziphatheni komuntu.

12. Umlutha wotshwala

Iningi lethu liyathanda ukuphumula, futhi notshwala bungaba ukwengeza okwamukelekayo kulokho. Kodwa-ke, umuntu osebenzisa uphuzo oludakayo njengomuthi wokukhathazeka ngokomzwelo unamandla okulahleka ngokuphelele. Umlutha ungenye yamafulegi abomvu asabekayo ebudlelwaneni.

Umlutha wotshwala uvame ukudlula ezimpilweni zabantu ukuze bangakwazi ukubeka phambili noma yini noma omunye umuntu. Ngakho-ke, qaphela uhlobo lokuphuza utshwala komlingani wakho. Uma bezama ukweqa okwedlule nokwethula ngakho, khona-ke unenkinga ezandleni zakho.

13. Umlutha wezidakamizwa

Ukuncika kozakwenu ezidakamizweni eziluthayo kuyifulegi elikhulu elibomvu njengoba kunamathuba aphezulu okuqeda injabulo yakho. Kungenzeka ungene ebudlelwaneni ngaphambi kokwazi ngalesi sifo abanaso. Kepha uma usukwazi ngakho, kufanele ucabange ukushiya.

Ukuncika ezidakamizweni kungenza umuntu ahluleke ukuzibamba nesizathu sakhe. Imvamisa kungenzeka baphike, kepha akudingeki wenze okufanayo. Hlola isimo ngokungenhloso bese uzama ukuzivikela ezingxabanweni zomlingani owenziwe izidakamizwa.

14. Ukusabisa ngokuzibulala

Izinto zivame ukufuthelana lapho imibhangqwana ixabana, kepha izinsongo zokuzibulala azamukeleki. Imvamisa kuyindlela yokukhohlisa ehloselwe ukulawula abantu abaseduze kwakho. Kuphoqa ukuthi uhlehle futhi ubavumele ukuba babalekele ngamazwi nangezenzo zabo.

Ukukhohlisa kuyisibonelo esiyingozi futhi kungenye yamafulegi abomvu ayingozi ebudlelwaneni obusha. Imicabango yokuzibulala yinto ebucayi futhi ayiyona ithuluzi lokuqeda ingxabano noma ukulwa.

15. Ukungathokozi ngempumelelo yakho

Ingabe umlingani wakho uyakujabulela impumelelo yakho? Kufanele ufune okuhle kakhulu kumlingani wakho.

Kepha abanye abantu abakwazi ukuzizwa bejabule ngabalingani babo ngenxa yomona nobugovu. Bazibona bencintisana nabalingani babo; ngakho-ke, impumelelo yomlingani wabo yehlisa isithunzi kubo.

16. Ukulawula indlela oziphatha ngayo

Uzakwethu ozama ukulawula zonke izici zempilo yakho kungenzeka ukuthi abe yimbangela yokungajabuli kwakho maduzane. Uzakwethu ozama ukukuphoqa noma ukukukhohlisa ukuthi wenze konke abakufunayo uyingozi.

Akwamukelekile ukuphoqa ukuthi ugqoke abakufunayo, usebenze lapho bethanda khona, futhi wenze ngezindlela abazivumayo. Lezi zenzo zingabonakala zinakekela ekuqaleni, kepha zingakhungathekisa futhi zithinte ukuzethemba kwakho. Ukulawula ubuhlobo amafulegi abomvu kungalimaza ukuzethemba kwakho.

Futhi Zama: Ukulawula Ubuhlobo Imibuzo

17. Ukufinyelela iphasiwedi

Kuyifulegi elibomvu elikhanyayo lapho umlingani wakho enza into enkulu mayelana nokuthola ifoni yakho nephasiwedi yemidiya yokuxhumana nabantu. Kusho ukungabi nethemba nenhlonipho ngendawo yakho yangasese. Zama ukwenqabela le ndlela yokuziphatha, uma kungenjalo inamandla okuqhubekisa phambili.

18. Ukukuhlola njalo

Izingcingo zokuhlola nemibhalo evela endaweni enakekelayo yehlukile kuleyo evela endaweni engaphephile. Ukuze ubone umehluko phakathi kwalokhu okubili, kufanele uhlole imizwa yakho uthumele ucingo / umbhalo wabo; amandla anakekelayo azokwenza uzizwe ukhethekile, kanti izenzo zokungavikeleki zigcina zikushiya ucasukile.

19. Ukungabi bhalansi

Kufanele kube nokulingana kwamandla kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo. Izidingo zabo bobabili abantu abasebudlelwaneni kufanele zibe nenani elilinganayo. Ukuyekethisa kubalulekile kuzo zonke izibalo ezinempilo, kepha kuyifulegi elibomvu uma kunguwe wedwa owenza ukuyekethisa.

Uzakwethu owenza izinqumo ngezinto ezithinta impilo yakho eyedwa ukukunikeza ifulegi elibomvu lobudlelwano. Ukuxhumana nokuthatha izinqumo ngokuhlanganyela kubalulekile kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano njengoba busiza ekwakheni ubudlelwano obunempilo futhi obulinganiselayo.

20. Ukuthambekela kweNarcissistic

Ubudlelwano kufanele buhlangabezane nezidingo zabo bobabili abantu ababambe iqhaza kubo. Uma umlingani wakho ecabanga kuphela ngemizwa yakhe kanye nezidingo zakhe, bangahle babe yi-narcissistic ngokwemvelo. Sicela uyiphathe njengefulegi elibomvu njengoba kunzima ukuqhubeka nobudlelwano nomuntu ozicabangela yena nobugovu.

Bheka le vidiyo ngezimpawu zokuthi uthandana nomuntu osebenza ngezidakamizwa:

21. Balambele i-ex yabo

Ngabe umlingani wakho ukhuluma njalo nge-ex yakhe? Ukuletha owake wakudala ngesikhathi sezingxoxo ezingahleliwe kungaba yifulegi elibomvu lokuphola njengoba kungakhombisa imizwa ebambezelayo. Umuntu ongakudluli ngokuphelele esikhathini sakhe esedlule uzoba nenkinga yokwenza. Qaphela leli fulegi elibomvu, ngoba nawe ungaba isaphulelo.

Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi ubudlelwano obubuyiselayo bunezinzuzo zabo kumuntu olulama kokwehlukana. Kepha kusenzima ukuhlala nomuntu osabhekene nemizwa engaxazululiwe kusuka esikhathini esedlule.

22. Ukukhohlisa kwezezimali

Ukuphathwa kwemali kuyingxenye enkulu yempilo yomuntu. Ubudlelwano kufanele buhambise izimali ezinempilo hhayi ukubaphazamisa. Uma umlingani wakho efihla izinqumo zezimali, kuyimbangela yangempela yokukhathazeka. Kufanele uzibuze ukuthi kungani bezwa isidingo sokufihla izimali zabo.

Kungenzeka ukuthi bafihla izinto ngoba abakuthembi noma benza okuthile okungaqondakali. Kungasiza uma ufinyelela phansi noma ushiya, ngoba lokhu kungaba nemiphumela ebalulekile empilweni yakho. Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi akukho emthethweni, yingakho kuyingxenye yamafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni.

23. Ukuthethelela imikhuba yabo emibi

Ubuhlobo besikhathi eside amafulegi abomvu angabuye ahambisane nokuphendula kwakho ekuziphatheni komlingani wakho. Uma uzithola uthethelela ukuziphatha kwabo okungenazaba, udinga ukuqaphela. Ukuzinikela kwakho komunye umuntu kufanele kukwenze ungakunaki ukuphepha nenhlalakahle yakho.

24. Ukuzizwa ungavikelekile ebudlelwaneni

Ungazizwa ungazi ukuthi umi kuphi noma ungowaluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano. Lokho wukuthi, uzizwa ungaqiniseki noma ukhathazekile ngokuthi ubuhlobo buqonde kuphi. Ukungazethembi okunjalo ebudlelwaneni kungenye yamafulegi obudlelwano obomvu alula ukuwabona.

Lapho uqala ukuzizwa ungavikelekile futhi ungaqiniseki ngobudlelwano, khuluma nomlingani wakho bese ubuza ukuthi ubudlelwano phakathi kwenu nobabili bubhekephi. Uma bengakwazi ukukunikeza impendulo ekholisayo noma impendulo, sicela uphume ebudlelwaneni.

25. Uma ungeneme

Okokugcina, hlola injabulo yakho ngenkathi nisothandweni. Bonke ubuhlobo bunezinkinga zabo, kepha lezi akufanele kube yisizathu sokungajabuli kwakho. Uma kunjalo, yiphathe njengefulegi elibomvu elibaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni.

Akunasidingo sokuhlala ebudlelwaneni uma kungalethi ithemba empilweni yakho. Uzakwenu angaba muhle, kepha bakulungele kuphela uma bekwenza uzizwe ujabulile futhi wanelisekile. Sicela ungadeli injabulo yakho ngoba lokho kubaluleke kakhulu kunanoma yibuphi ubuhlobo.

Wenzani uma ubona amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni?

Uma amazwi noma izenzo zomlingani wakho zizwakala zingajwayelekile noma zikwenza ungakhululeki, hlonipha imizwa yakho. Awudingi ukuzikhulumela noma uziqinisekise ukuthi uhlala ebudlelwaneni udla enjabulweni yakho yangaphakathi nasenhlalakahleni yengqondo.

Uma ubona amafulegi abomvu obudlelwano, kufanele uzame ukubhekana nokuhlola isimo ngqo. Ukwenqaba nokugwema kuzoholela ezinkingeni ezibaluleke kakhulu ngekusasa lakho. Futhi-ke kungaba nzima kakhulu ukuhlukanisa izinto.

Ungabhekana kanjani namafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni

Uma ubona lobu budlelwano amafulegi abomvu, lapho-ke udinga ukuthola izindlela zokubhekana nawo. Nazi ezinye izindlela ezingakusiza:

  • Thatha umzuzu

Kungaba nzima ukubona amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni nowesifazane noma owesilisa lapho unethemba lekusasa ndawonye nomuntu. Kungasiza uma ungazinika isikhathi sokuhlaziya izinto ngomqondo ovulekile. Cabanga ngalokho okubalulekile kuwe ngaphambi kokwenza noma isiphi isinqumo.

  • Khuluma

Khuluma nomlingani wakho, chaza amafulegi abomvu okungafanele uwashaye indiva, bese ubona ukuthi bazimisele yini ukwenza ushintsho lwangempela. Uma bakululaza ukubuka kwakho mhlawumbe kufanele ucabangele kabusha izinto.

Ukuthola usizo olwengeziwe ekuqedeni ubudlelwane obunobuthi, funa usizo lochwepheshe. Futhi, abangani bakho nomndeni wakho bayazi ukuthi uyabathanda ngemuva kwezandla zabo, futhi ukufuna izeluleko nokusekelwa kwabo kungakusiza ukuthi uhlanganise izingcezu zakho eziphukile ndawonye futhi uqede ubudlelwane obungenampilo.

  • Hlola bese uthatha isinqumo

Lapho usuyazi imininingwane, zama ukuthatha isinqumo unolwazi. Kungaba nzima ukusuka kude nomuntu omthandayo, kodwa kungcono kunobuhlungu ongabuzwa esikhathini esizayo. Beka phambili injabulo yakho nokuthula kwengqondo ukwenza isinqumo ongeke uzisole ngaso ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Isiphetho

Ukuqaphela amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni kungasiza, ikakhulukazi uma uhlela ukuhlala phansi nalo muntu. Khumbula ukuthi lokho okuvumela ukuthi kuqhubeke kuzoqhubeka. Uma ungasazicabangi nomuntu onalezi zimfanelo - ungazenzi.

Amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni ayizimpawu zokuxwayisa ngesizathu, ngoba kungcono ukugwema izinkathazo zesikhathi esizayo. Uma ubona noma yimaphi amafulegi abomvu abhalwe ohlwini olungenhla, angasebenza njengomhlahlandlela wakho futhi akusize ugweme ubuhlungu nokudabuka kwenhliziyo ngokuzayo.