-Delile
- 1. Ubhorekile
- 2. Unesizungu
- 3. Usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo
- 4. Ukuziphindiselela ocansini
- 5. Akazethembi
- 6. Usemshadweni ongenalo ucansi
- 7. Ugcwalisa isikhala esivusa imizwa
- 8. Ngoba uyakwazi
Ngabe unokusola okuhlala isikhathi eside ukuthi umkakho akathembeki ku-100%? Ucwaningo lwemibhangqwana engabobulili obuhlukile luthole ukuthi i-19% yabesifazane ebudlelwaneni obubucayi babike ukuthi bakhohlisa abalingani babo. Izibalo zikhomba ukuthi nabesifazane abathi basemishadweni enenjabulo bayavuma ukuthi bathathe isithandwa eceleni.
Ngisho ngalezi zibalo ezicwaningwe kahle, abantu besifazane abasenamathuba amancane okuthathwa njengabakhohlisi ngendlela efanayo nabesilisa. Ingabe lokhu kungenxa yokuthi abesifazane ngokuvamile bakopela uthando esikhundleni sezemidlalo, noma ingabe bangcono kakhulu ekufihleni imikhondo yabo? Izimpendulo zingamangaza.
Nazi izizathu eziyi-8 zokuthi kungani abesifazane bekopela
1. Ubhorekile
Imibhangqwana ijwayele ukudlula eziqongweni nasezigodini ngenkathi yomshado wayo. Ukuba sebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, obuzinikele kusho ukuthi uhlala nomuntu ofanayo usuku nosuku. Yize lokhu kuholela ezimfanelweni ezinhle empilweni ezinjengokunethezeka, ukuzinza, nothando, kungahle futhi kwenze abanye bazizwe benesithukuthezi, kwesinye isikhathi, nobudlelwano.
Le mizwa yokudinwa iyafika idlule kubo bonke ubudlelwano. Kepha, lapho ethintwa ezinye izinto ezinjengokungaboni ngaso linye emshadweni, owesifazane angalingeka ukuba aqale okuthile ngaphandle komshado wakhe. Angabona ukuthi le kuyindlela yokunonga impilo yakhe, ukuze abe nokuthile okuthokozisayo angabheka phambili noma angaze athi ukwenzela "ukusindisa umshado" ngokuzenzela okuthile.
2. Unesizungu
Ngenkathi owesifazane ekwazi ukuphambuka emshadweni wakhe ngenjabulo yomzimba, izizathu zokungathembeki kwabesifazane ikakhulu zithinta imizwa. Esinye sezizathu ezinjalo yisizungu. Uma owakwakhe ehlala esebenza, ehamba nabangane, noma ngenye indlela ekhathele kakhulu ukumnika uthando nokuqinisekisa akudingayo, isilingo sakhe sokukopela siyakhuphuka.
Ukushaywa indiva ngokomzwelo noma ngokobulili yilowo oshade naye kungamenza azizwe enesizungu futhi ecindezelekile. Le mizwa ingenza owesifazane afune ukuqinisekiswa nokuthintana ngokomzimba kwenye indawo.
3. Usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo
Kuyacaca ukuthi uma owesifazane esebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo ngokwengqondo noma ngokomzimba, mancane amathuba okuthi ahlale ethembekile.
Abalingani abalawulayo nabahlukumezayo bangadiliza owesifazane futhi bamenze azizwe sengathi akakufanelekele noma yini enhle. Lokhu, ngokwemvelo, kungamenza afune uthando, inhlonipho, nokuqinisekiswa ngaphandle komshado.
4. Ukuziphindiselela ocansini
Ukuziphindiselela-ocansini ngeshwa kuyisizathu esivamile sokungathembeki kwabesifazane. Ukuthola ukuthi umlingani wakhe ubengathembeki kuyayilimaza inhliziyo yowesifazane nokuzikhukhumeza kwakhe, ngakho-ke angafuna ucansi ngaphandle kobudlelwano njengendlela yokuphulukisa imizwa yakhe ebuhlungu. Noma, okungenani mnike ukuzethemba.
Uma owesifazane ethola ukuthi umlingani wakhe ubekade enza ucansi, angaphamba ukuze alimaze owakwakhe ngendlela amlimaze ngayo. Angakhetha ngisho nomuntu osondelene noshade naye ukuthi alale naye, njengengane yakini noma umngani osondelene nabo, ukuze abalimaze.
5. Akazethembi
Ngenkathi iyize futhi ingajulile emvelweni, esinye sezizathu zokungathembeki kwabesifazane sihlobene ngokuphelele nokuzazisa kwakhe.
Kunengcindezi enkulu kwabesifazane ukuthi baphile ngokuvumelana nezindinganiso zomphakathi zobuhle. Lokhu kungenza i-ego yakhe ibe yinto entekenteke, ikakhulukazi uma engahambisani nomzimba omncane noma owemukelekile we-hourglass othuthukiswa kwabezindaba.
Noma ngabe umlingani onothando angaqinisekisa kangaki umkakhe ngokukhanga kwakhe kuye, angavele afise ukukuzwa ngomunye umuntu. Udinga ukuzizwa sengathi usathandeka njengowesifazane futhi angafuna ubuhlobo bobulili ngaphandle komshado wakhe ukuze anelise ukungazethembi kwakhe.
6. Usemshadweni ongenalo ucansi
Umshado ongenalo ucansi uyabakhathaza bobabili laba bantu. Omunye unesifiso sabo sobulili nesingokomzwelo sokuxhuma nokushaywa indiva, kanti omunye uzizwa ecindezelwa njalo ukuthi enze ucansi lapho bengajwayele ukwenza kanjalo.
Ucwaningo olwenziwe ngumlobi uStephen Davidowich luthole ukuthi igama elithi "umshado ongashayi ocansini" liceliwe kusesho lweGoogle ngabasebenzisi abangu-21,000 njalo ngenyanga. Lezi zibalo ziyamangaza, ngemiphumela enjalo yokusesha ishaya amanye amagama athandwayo anjengokuthi "umshado ongajabulisi". Ukuhlala emshadweni ongenalo ucansi kuhambisana nenqwaba yezinkinga zomshado, kufaka phakathi ukungathembeki.
Akufanele kusimangaze-ke ukuthi esinye isizathu sokuthi abesifazane bakhohlise kungenxa yokuntuleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni, Kungaba ubulili obungagculisi, ucansi olungenamizwa, noma ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni obungenabo ubulili.
7. Ugcwalisa isikhala esivusa imizwa
Kukhona okunye ukukopela kunokuya ocansini ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala. Abesifazane abaningi bafuna izindaba ezingokomzwelo ukuze bavale isikhala somshado wakhe. Ubudlelwano bumayelana nothando, ubungani, inhlonipho nokwethembana. Uma owesifazane ezwa sengathi akalutholi ngokwanele uthando noma ukunakwa kumlingani wakhe maningi amathuba okuthi aphambuke ngaphandle komshado. Izindaba ezingokomzwelo, noma "izindaba zenhliziyo" zibandakanya ukugcwalisa isidingo esingokomzwelo noma esingokwengqondo somunye umuntu okungesiye umlingani wakho.
Yize ukukopela ngokomzwelo kuvame ukuhilela ukuthululela isifuba sakho kothile ngasese ngendlela obungathanda ngayo nomlingani wakho womshado, kungabandakanya nokukhuluma okungcolile, isithembiso sobudlelwano besikhathi esizayo, ukushintshana ngezithombe okungafanele futhi kungaholela nasekuthandaneni ngokomzimba.
8. Ngoba uyakwazi
Izindaba zingukukhaphela okulimazayo kothile omthandayo, futhi isiphithiphithi okungenzeka ukuthi indaba ishiye ngemuva kwaso asilimazi nje kuphela kubantu abashadile kodwa nasemndenini nakwezinye izingane ezihilelekile. Kodwa-ke, ngokufana nabesilisa, abanye besifazane bahlanganyela ekungathembekini ngoba nje bekwazi noma ngoba inketho izivezile. Abesifazane abaningi bacabanga ngokuthandana njengokwesabekayo, okwehlisayo, futhi bakusebenzise njengendlela yokuthola ukwaneliseka ngokomzimba noma ukuthola ukushesha kumahomoni kanye ne-dopamine ekhishwe yimfihlo.
Imicabango Yokugcina
Ukungathembeki kwabesifazane kuyinto ejwayelekile njengokukhohlisa kwabesilisa - umane akufihle kangcono. Iqiniso ngukuthi, abesifazane bayakhohlisa ngazo zonke izizathu ezifanayo ezenziwa abesilisa: isizungu, isithukuthezi, ukuzizwa ungathandwa noma ukungaziswa, noma ngoba nje ithuba likhona.