-Delile
- 1. Bazibophezela komunye nomunye ngazo zonke izizathu ezifanele
- 2. Babengalindelanga ukuthi umshado ube yimpendulo yazo zonke izinkinga zempilo
- 3. Ukuze uthando luhlale, inhlonipho kumele ihlale ikhona
- 4. Ukuxhumana okunenhlonipho kukhona, noma ngabe nixabana
- 5. Ukuzithanda kuza kuqala
- 6. Intethelelo ihlala iseduze
- 7. Baxhuma ngezindlela eziningi, kufaka phakathi ucansi
- 8. Abazikhohlwa izinto ezincane
Wake wafisa ukuthi kube nefomula yomlingo ongayilandela ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buzoqhubeka isikhathi eside? Umhlahlandlela owethule izinyathelo okudingeka uzilandele ukuze wena nomlingani wakho niphile kamnandi naphakade?
Hhyi, akuwona umlingo ncamashi, kepha kukhona amaphuzu athile ajwayelekile abelana ngokujabula, nobudlelwano besikhathi eside. Ake sibheke lezi zimfanelo zobudlelwano obuhlala njalo futhi sibone ukuthi yini esingayifunda.
1. Bazibophezela komunye nomunye ngazo zonke izizathu ezifanele
Imibhangqwana eziqhayisa ngeminyaka engama-20, engama-30 noma engama-40 yomshado (noma ngaphezulu) isitshela ukuthi ikhethelene ngezizathu ezifanele. Abazange bashade ngenxa yengcindezi yomphakathi, noma ngoba babenesizungu, noma ngoba omunye wabo wayebheka umlingani wakhe ukuthi "alungise" ubuntwana obubi noma okunye ukuhlukumezeka.
Cha, bashada ngoba babemthanda umlingani wabo ngenxa yokuthi wayekhona ngaleso sikhathi (hhayi ukushada "namandla akhe", kodwa "manje" wakhe), futhi bazizwa benokuxhumana okunengqondo nabo. Baphinde bathi bangena ebudlelwaneni bephethe imithwalo encane engaxazululiwe noma engekho, ngakho-ke babenomqondo ophile kahle lapho bezibophezela kumlingani wabo.
2. Babengalindelanga ukuthi umshado ube yimpendulo yazo zonke izinkinga zempilo
Izithandani zesikhathi eside zingene emshadweni wazo zilindele okungokoqobo.
Babethandana ngokujulile, kunjalo, kodwa futhi babona ukuthi umlingani wabo akakwazanga ukufeza zonke izindima ezidingekayo empilweni elinganiselayo. Babengalindelanga ukuthi umlingani wabo abe ngumondli, umngani omkhulu, umqeqeshi wezemidlalo, umqeqeshi wempilo, umnakekeli womntwana, umelaphi, nomhleli weholide kanye nochwepheshe wezezimali.
Baye babona ukuthi wonke umuntu unezindawo zakhe eziqinile nezintekenteke, kanti kulokhu okwedlule, ukukhishwa kwabahlinzeki kuyisihluthulelo sokuqina kwezithandani. Babuye bakubona ukubaluleka kokugcina ubungani bangaphandle buqhubeka nokwakha okusha, ukuze bobabili abalingani benze izinto ngokuzimela bodwa.
Abashadikazi asebekhulile bacaphune ukuqwashiswa kokuthi uthando luyaphela futhi lugeleze, nokuthi umshado ngeke usho ukuthanda nokuqhumisa umlilo nsuku zonke zonyaka. Basebenza ngamandla ezinsukwini eziphansi, bazi ukuthi ekugcineni bathanda amalungelo inkambo yayo futhi ukuxhumana kuyabuya uma umuntu ezimisele ukusebenza ngezikhathi ezinzima.
3. Ukuze uthando luhlale, inhlonipho kumele ihlale ikhona
Awudingi inhlonipho yokuwela enkanukweni.
Lezo yizinto zama-one-night-stand. Kepha ngothando lweqiniso oluhlala njalo, umbhangqwana udinga ukuhloniphana nokuncoma omunye nomunye. Ufuna ukufuna umuntu onezimiso, isimilo nokuziphatha okuhle okuhambisana nokwakho.
Uma kungenjalo, akunakwenzeka ukuthi ubudlelwane buzojula futhi bube nenjongo. Futhi, inhlonipho ingenye yezimfanelo eziyinhloko zobudlelwano obuhlala njalo.
4. Ukuxhumana okunenhlonipho kukhona, noma ngabe nixabana
Imibhangqwana egubha iminyaka eminingi yasemshadweni ithi ikhulumisana kahle, nalapho kuvela izingxabano.
Abaphendukeli ekubizeni amagama noma ukuveza izinkinga ezedlule lapho belwa. Basebenzela ukuyekethisa nangendlela enomusa, belalela umbono womunye nomunye futhi bakuqinisekisa ukukhombisa ukuthi bezwakala. Bayazi ukuthi lokho okushiwoyo akukwazi ukuthi kungashiwo njalo, ngakho-ke bakugcina lokho engqondweni lapho izingxoxo zishuba.
Into yokugcina abafisa ukuyenza ukulimaza lowo abamthanda kakhulu (noma bephikisana).
5. Ukuzithanda kuza kuqala
Bheka eminye imibhangqwana yesikhathi eside futhi uzobona ukuthi bayazinakekela futhi bayanakekelana. Basebenza ukugcina impilo yabo engokwenyama nengokwengqondo.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi banikeza isikhathi sokuzijwayeza umdlalo abawujabulelayo. Uma umlingani wabo engekho ebhodini ngokuthanda kwabo, akukho lutho olukhulu, bazozenzela okwabo. Omunye angaba umgijimi, omunye abe ngumlandeli we-yoga, futhi bavumela lezi zikhathi zodwa njengoba bazi ukuthi lokhu kuyingxenye yobudlelwano obunempilo.
Uma omunye noma omunye ezwa kunesidingo sokusebenza ngezinkinga ezithile zengqondo nodokotela wangaphandle, kukhona ukwesekwa nokukhuthazwa kwalokhu.
Ubudlelwano obunempilo ukwakheka kwabantu ababili abaphilile, futhi imibhangqwana yesikhathi eside iyakwazi lokhu.
6. Intethelelo ihlala iseduze
“Ungalali uthukuthele” iseluleko esijwayelekile esake sasizwa, futhi imibhangqwana yesikhathi eside ikuthatha ngokungathi sína lokhu. Impela, bayalwa. Kepha bayalulungisa udaba, bathathe isikhathi esidingekayo ukufinyelela esinqumweni, bese bekubeka ngemuva kwabo.
“Ngiyaxolisa” nokuthi “ngiyakuxolela” kuyingxenye yamagama abo. Abanalo igqubu, futhi, njengoba kushiwo ngenhla, abayikhiphi intukuthelo endala ukubhebhethekisa umlilo wokungezwani okusha. Okudlulile kudlulile, futhi kuyaxolelwa. Futhi njengenhlonipho, ukuthethelela kungenye yezimfanelo ezibalulekile zobudlelwano obuhlala njalo.
7. Baxhuma ngezindlela eziningi, kufaka phakathi ucansi
Yebo, ngisho nemibhangqwana egubha iminyaka engama-50 izofakazela izinzuzo ezilethwa ubulili obuhle ebudlelwaneni bazo. Kukhona ukuxegiswa kwe-libido, impela, kepha imibhangqwana yesikhathi eside izohlala njalo ibuyela ekamelweni ekugcineni. Uma bethola ucansi luphela, bayazi ukuthi lokhu kusho ukuthi kukhona okunye okucimile ebudlelwaneni futhi abanqeni ukubuza umlingani wabo ukuthi kwenzekani.
Ukuya ocansini njalo kubalulekile ukuze uhlale uxhumekile.
8. Abazikhohlwa izinto ezincane
Uyazi ukuthi abashadikazi abasha bazinaka kanjani izitho ezincane zothando? Baziletha kanjani izimbali, bathumelelana imibhalo emihle, futhi banikeze izipho “ngaphandle kwesizathu”?
Izithandani zesikhathi eside aziyeki ukwenza lokhu ngemuva kokuphela kobuhlungu bothando lokuqala.
Isimbali esimangazayo, inothi lothando ukusho nje ukuthi “Ngicabanga wena” ... lokhu kuthinta okuncane kusasho okuningi futhi kugcina ukuxhumana kuqhubeka eminyakeni edlule. Futhi lezi yizimpawu zobudlelwano obuhlala njalo.