-Delile
- Ukubeka phambili ucansi nokusondelana
- Cabanga ngendlela enibingelelana ngayo bese nivalelisana
- Yenza ukusondelana nezinhloso zocansi
- Hlola amaphupho omunye nomunye
- Ukubeka phambili ubuhlobo bakho nomlingani wakho
Wake wazinika isikhathi sokuzibuza ukuthi yini eza kuqala emshadweni wakho?
Ingabe kufanele ubeke phambili ucansi?
Ingabe kufanele ubeke phambili ukusondelana?
Ingabe kufanele ubeke phambili umshado wakho?
Noma mhlawumbe kufanele ngabe ubeka umlingani wakho phambili, bese bonke abanye bangalandela.
Ayikho i-mantra eyodwa yokubeka izinto eziza kuqala ebuhlotsheni. Udinga ukukala ukuthi isiphi isici sobudlelwano bakho esibonakala siyimbangela yokukhathazeka bese usebenzela ukubuthuthukisa.
Bonke ubuhlobo buyaguquka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi izinto ezingabonakala zibaluleke kakhulu namuhla zingahle zingabonakali zifanele ngokuzayo.
Ukubeka izinto eziza kuqala ebuhlotsheni inqubo eshintsha njalo. Ngakho-ke, indlela engcono yokwenza lokhu ukugxila kulokho ubudlelwano bakho obudingayo namuhla ngenkathi ukhumbula lokho okungakudinga kusasa.
Ukubeka phambili ucansi nokusondelana
Lubaluleke kangakanani ucansi ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside?
Lokhu kungaphendulwa ngokuqonda izinzuzo eziningi zocansi emshadweni. Akugcini nje ukuletha umlingani wakho kanye nani eduze komunye nomunye, kodwa futhi kukhulisa umqondo wokuzethemba.
Ubulili nokusondelana kungumgogodla wobudlelwano bakho futhi kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi kube phezulu kwezinto eziza kuqala ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Singabantu abanemizwa, abangokobulili abadinga uthando, ukunakwa, nothando, futhi kufanele sibe nenhloso yokukhulisa nokusebenzela ukukhulisa ukusondelana nabalingani bethu.
Isikhathi nakanjani siyisithiyo, kepha yikhwalithi yalezo zikhathi ezibalwayo. Lokho kusiletha embuzweni - indlela yokwenza ucansi lube yinto ephambili ebudlelwaneni bakho?
Ungakhathazeki. Vele usebenzise lawa macebiso njengezindlela zokwenza ngcono impilo yakho yezocansi kanye nesibopho nomlingani wakho!
Ukwenza isiko lokuthandana kungaletha umthelela onjalo osukwini lwakho nasebudlelwaneni bakho.
Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi kuthatha imizuzwana emi-5 kuya kwengu-10 yokwangana ukukhipha ikhemikhali elibophayo elibizwa nge-oxytocin, umuzwa ofudumele futhi ontekenteke okwenza uzizwe usondelene nothile.
Zibophezele ekwenzeni lokhu nomlingani wakho okungenani kabili ngosuku. Ukwanda kokuthinta okungeyona eyezocansi kungavusa isifiso sobulili kepha kungenzi umlingani wakho azwe ukuthi uthando lukhonjiswa kuphela njengesandulela socansi.
Ngokuqondene nokusondelana ngokocansi, ukwenza uthando ngokwemvelo kuyahlukahluka. Abantu banamashayela ahlukene nezifiso zocansi. Qaphela ukuthi ucansi oluningi alusho ukusondelana okungaphezulu, nokusondelana kungaphezu kocansi nje kuphela.
Njengombhangqwana, kudingeka nenze "ukusondelana nezinhloso zocansi" noma "imigomo yobudlelwano bezocansi."
Kubalulekile ukucabanga ngokuthi ungathanda kanjani ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana kwakho nezocansi futhi wandise injabulo nokwaneliseka wena nomlingani wakho.
Faka izinhloso zansuku zonke nezamasonto zokuqabula, ukwangana, ukuthanda uthando nokudlala phambili. Khulumani ngokuthi yini enenza nizizwe nisondelene nobabili nokuthi kunenza nizizwe kanjani ukuthi anelisekile ngomunye nomunye.
Yenza isikhathi socansi. Iba nengxoxo ephumelelayo yokuthi imvamisa nekhwalithi yokusondelana, ukusondelana nobulili kwenza nobabili nizizwe nigcwalisekile ngokomoya.
Ukugcina izinto zithakazelisa ngokocansi kungaba yinselele kwabashadile, ikakhulukazi labo abanqikaza ukwabelana ngemicabango yabo yezocansi.
Umcabango wokuthi umlingani wakho wenqabe imicabango yakho yezocansi noma akubukele phansi ngokusikisela okuthile kinky kungaba okuhlukumeza kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, kusadingeka wenze umzamo wokuhlola omunye nomunye ngokocansi.
Qala ngemininingwane emincane. Buza ukuthi bathanda ini, bese ubona ukuthi ungazifaka kanjani izidingo zabo nezakho. Musa ukwahlulelana. Dala isikhala esiphephile sokuthi babelane ngabakuthandayo.
Imvamisa, ukukhuluma ngenganekwane kungaletha injabulo, futhi kungahle kungadingeki nokuthi uhlanganyele esenzweni.
Ukubeka phambili ubuhlobo bakho nomlingani wakho
Njengemibhangqwana eminingi, izinhloso zakho kanye nokulindela akudingeki ukuthi kufane kahle, kepha nobabili kufanele nizinikele ekuthatheni izinyathelo ezincane nibeke izidingo zomlingani wakho kanye nobudlelwano bakho phezulu ohlwini lwakho olubalulekile.
- Hlela isikhathi somunye nomunye
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ubudlelwano buqala ukuwela kuphethini yemikhuba emibi. Yize izinqubo ezinjalo zisebenza ngenjongo futhi ziletha ukungaguquguquki ezimpilweni zakho, lokhu kungakushiya wena nomlingani wakho nizizwa ninganakiwe futhi ningafunwa.
Indlela engcono yokuqeda lesi sivumelwano wukuphinda usebenzise izinsuku zokuqala zobudlelwano bakho. Hlela usuku noma ubeke eceleni isikhathi esithile sokugxila kuzidingo zomlingani wakho.
Uma umlingani wakho ungazizwa ubaluleke kakhulu ebuhlotsheni, thatha leli thuba ukubatotosa isikhathi esithile kude nazo zonke izinkinga zomhlaba.
Benze babone ukuthi uyabaqaphela, futhi ngaphandle kwazo zonke ezinye izinto eziza kuqala neziphazamiso, uzohlala ubalungele.
- Yenza izinto ndawonye
Imibhangqwana ibambeka kakhulu ezimpilweni zayo ize ikhohlwe nezinto ebekade izenza ndawonye.
Esikhundleni sokwenza umzamo wokufunda ngezinkanuko zomunye nomunye nokwazisa ukungafani komunye nomunye, sivame ukuhamba ngezindlela zethu ezihlukile.
Awukwazi ukuphika ukuthi ikunikeza isikhathi esithe xaxa sokugxila ezinkanukweni nasezifisweni zakho kodwa ngasiphi izindleko? Ngabe ukulahlekelwa ubuhlobo bakho kukufanele ngaphezu kokuhlola isidingo sokwenza izinguquko nokulungiswa?
Yiba nesineke, ucabangele futhi hlanganisani izinkanuko zenu. Thola izindlela zokubandakanya umlingani wakho ezintweni ozithandayo bese wenza okufanayo kubo.
Akunasidingo sokwenza ushintsho olukhulu nolungazelelwe. Ekugcineni, izinselelo zazizobonakala kancane, nobabili nizoyithokozela imizamo eniyenzayo ebudlelwaneni benu.
- Wazise umlingani wakho
Enye into imibhangqwana elahlekelwa yiyo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ebudlelwaneni umuzwa wokubonga nokwazisa ngezinto ezincane abazenzelwa umlingani wabo.
Ukujwayela ukuba nabo uze ungaboni ukuqhakaza okuncane nokuzidela abakwenzayo ukunothisa izimpilo zakho. Ngaphambi kokuthi wazi, umlingani wakho uqala ukuzizwa edabukile, edangele, futhi ehlukanisiwe.
Hhayi ukuthi abazi ukuthi uyayazisa imizamo yabo kepha ukungakwazi kwakho ukubonisa ukubonga njalo kubenza bakungabaze ukubaluleka kwabo nokufaneleka kwabo ebudlelwaneni.
Kule vidiyo engezansi, uMike Robbins, umbhali wencwadi ethi Focus on the Good Stuff, ukhuluma ngamandla okwazisa.
Uhlukanisa phakathi kokuqashelwa nokwazisa, nokuthi sikudida kangaki lokhu okubili. UMike uphakamisa nezindlela ezithile zokuzithuthukisa nokuzibeka esimweni ukuze ukwazi ukwazisa abanye kangcono futhi uzigcine uzimisele ukwenza njalo.
Kungakuthatha isikhathi ukwakha uhlelo lapho ugcina khona ukuthi oshade naye ubuthuthukisa kanjani ubudlelwano bakho, kepha kubalulekile ukuthi ukwenze umkhuba.