-Delile
- Ukubaluleka kokwenza ukwelashwa komndeni ukunciphisa imiphumela yezinkinga
- Isendlalelo esincane
- Ukukhetha okuqondayo ukugoba emuva ukuze uzitika futhi uxege
- Ukuba yisifuba esithembekile kanye ne-quasi-Therapist
- Ukwenqena ukuma kancane
- Ukuthola umugqa wezibhakela
- Ukuqonda imizwa ephikisanayo
- Ukukhululeka ukuphatha izindaba zakhe
- Ukusungula ithoni entsha yokwesekwa nokusebenzisana
- Ukufuna ukwelashwa kokuphazamiseka kwemizwelo yakhe
Ngingumeluleki wemishado isikhathi eside osebenze nemibhangqwana eminingi izama ukuthola izingibe zomshado wesibili omusha ngemuva kokuba umshado wabo wokuqala uphele ebuhlungwini nasekuthukutheleni kwezinkinga nezingxabano ezingasonjululwanga.
Ukubaluleka kokwenza ukwelashwa komndeni ukunciphisa imiphumela yezinkinga
Abantu abaningi abakwazi ngokwanele ukubaluleka kokwenza ukwelashwa komndeni ukunciphisa imiphumela yezinkinga ezingaxazululiwe ezivela emshadweni wokuqala. Esihlokweni esilandelayo, ngizohlinzeka ngocwaningo olulandelayo njengesibonelo sendlela yokwelashwa komndeni okubucayi ngayo ekuzameni inqubo yokusungula umshado omusha ngonyawo olufanele.
Ngisanda kubona izithandani ezineminyaka ephakathi nendawo lapho umyeni wayenengane eyodwa, indodana eneminyaka engamashumi amabili. Unkosikazi wayengakaze ashade futhi engenazo izingane. Lezi zithandani zingene zikhala ngokuthi indodana yomyeni, esihlala nayo manje, idala ubudlelwano ebudlelwaneni bazo.
Isendlalelo esincane
Umshado wokuqala womyeni waphela eminyakeni eyi-17 edlule. Izingqinamba ezicekela phansi lowo mshado zazihilela ukungezwani okungalashwa kwesimo sowesifazane owayengunkosikazi wakhe eceleni kwengcindezi enkulu yezimali (umyeni wayebhekene nobunzima obukhulu bokuthola umsebenzi).
Obeqhubeka budida nobudlelwano ukuthi, phakathi neminyaka, owayengunkosikazi wayekhuluma kabi ngendodana kanina endodaneni njalo. Uthe wayengenankinga enkulu kanti empeleni, ukunganaki kwakhe ukunakekela izingane okwanele kungenxa yobunzima bakhe bokuthola umsebenzi ofanele.
Ukukhetha okuqondayo ukugoba emuva ukuze uzitika futhi uxege
Njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka, ubaba wakhetha ngokuzikhandla ukugoba emuva ukuze azitike futhi axege nendodana yakhe. Inqubo yakhe yokucabanga ukuthi njengoba wayebona indodana yakhe kuphela ngezimpelasonto, wayedinga ukwakha isimo esihle (ikakhulukazi uma kunikwa iqiniso lokuthi umama womfana wayekhuluma kabi ngobaba.)
Dlulisela phambili iminyaka embalwa futhi indodana manje isencane ebudaleni.
Le nsizwa ikuthole kunzima ukuqhubeka nokuhlala nonina kwazise ubengakabhekani nenkinga yakhe yemizwelo nokuziphatha okungaguquki. Ngaphandle kokuthukuthela nokugxeka ngokungalindelekile, wayevame ukumtshela ngezinkinga zakhe zomuntu. Indodana yayingasakwazi ukubekezelela lesi simo futhi ngenxa yalokho yahlala noyise.
Ubaba, ngeshwa, uqhubeke nokumbamba futhi wamzalisa. Inkinga yokwethula abashadikazi abasanda kushada abayiletha ezikhathini zokwelulekwa kwezithandani ukuthi unkosikazi omusha uzithole esesimweni esinzima kakhulu nesikhungathekisayo.
Wazizwa ukuthi indodana yomyeni wakhe iyisiphazamiso ebudlelwaneni babo kwazise wayehlala ekhononda kuyise ngonina nokuthi wayehlupheka kanjani ngokomzwelo futhi efuna yena.
Ukuba yisifuba esithembekile kanye ne-quasi-Therapist
Ngenxa yalokho, ubaba wale nsizwa wayesephenduke umuntu othenjiwe futhi oyisiqu-qua, insizwa le eyayivame ukuxoxa nobaba wayo ngobunzima bukanina. Lokhu kwenza ubaba wakhathazeka kakhulu waze wacindezeleka. Lokhu kwamkhathaza kakhulu umkakhe.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuyaphawuleka ukuthi, njengoba le nsizwa kwakungalindelekile ukuthi yenze imisebenzi njengendoda eyodwa enamakhodi, yafika yalindela ukuthi uyise nosingamama bayoyiwasha, bayilungiselele ukudla, bakhokhele umakhalekhukhwini wayo, umshuwalense wemoto , njll. Lokhu kwakucasula kakhulu unkosikazi futhi kwaba yithambo langempela lombango.
Ukwenqena ukuma kancane
Unkosikazi / usingamama waba nomuzwa wokuthi kwakungafanele neze ukuthi indodana iphathe ikamelo layo lokulala "njengendawo yokulahla udoti". Engqondweni yakhe, igumbi lakhe elingenasimilo lase liphenduke inkinga yezenhlanzeko. Indodana ibizolahla okusongelwe kokudla okusetshenzisiwe phansi futhi ibikhathazekile ngokuthi amagundane nezinambuzane kuzongena endlini yonke. Unxuse umyeni wakhe ukuthi athathe isinyathelo esiqinile nendodana yakhe, kodwa yena wanqikaza.
Udaba lwafika ekhanda lapho unkosikazi / usingamama omusha ebhekana nomyeni wakhe omusha ngesinqumo. Umyeni wakhe ubengabophezela indodana yakhe ukuba iphendule ngezindinganiso ezifanele ngokweminyaka ngokwala ukuyeseka ngokuphelele, ifune ukuthi yenze imisebenzi yasekhaya, inakekele igumbi layo, njll.
Ukwengeza, wacela ukuthi umyeni wakhe ancenge indodana yakhe ukuthi ihambe yodwa. (Kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi indodana ibinomthombo wemali osebenza ngokugcwele esitolo sokuthengisa. Yize kunjalo, ubaba akakaze acele indodana ukuthi inikele kakhulu kwisabelomali somndeni ngoba lokhu bekuyingxenye yendlela azitika ngayo. ).
Ukuthola umugqa wezibhakela
Lapha kulapho ukwelashwa komndeni kubaluleke kakhulu futhi kusebenza khona. Ngimeme le nsizwa ukuba ibe neseshini eyodwa yokuxoxa ngezingcindezi zayo zempilo kanye nombono wayo ngobuhlobo bomndeni wayo. Isimemo senziwe njengethuba lokuthuthukisa ubudlelwano bakhe noyise kanye nonina omusha.
Ukuqonda imizwa ephikisanayo
Ngakha ubudlelwano ngokushesha nale nsizwa futhi yakwazi ukuphumela obala ngokuphathelene nemizwa yayo eqinile, nokho engaqondakali ngonina, uyise, nosingamama wayo omusha. Uphinde wakhuluma ngokungaqondakali nokwesaba maqondana nokuzimela ngokwengeziwe.
Esikhathini esifushane uma kuqhathaniswa, ngakwazi ukumncenga ngokufaneleka kokuhlala efulethini nabangane.
Ukukhululeka ukuphatha izindaba zakhe
Ngachaza ukuthi, ekukhuleni kwakhe kanye nentuthuko yakhe, kwakubalulekile ukuthi akhululeke ukuphatha izindaba zakhe futhi aphile ngokuzimela. Ngemuva kokubandakanya ngempumelelo le nsizwa enqubweni yokuthatha ubunikazi balo mqondo, ngamemela umbhangqwana oshadile esimisweni somndeni nale nsizwa.
Ukusungula ithoni entsha yokwesekwa nokusebenzisana
Kuleso seshini somndeni, bekubalulekile ukusungula ithoni entsha yokwesekwa nokusebenzisana phakathi kwale nsizwa nosingamama. Manje wayesekwazi ukumbona njengomuntu owayezwana naye owayenentshisekelo enkulu engqondweni, kunokuba abe ngunina ongamzali ogxekayo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ubaba ukwazile ukushintsha ithoni nobungani bobudlelwano bakhe ngokuveza indlela ebizoqina, kepha ngenhlonipho ibambe indodana yakhe ukuba iphendule kulokho okulindelwe yiminyaka. Ekugcineni ngangeza ukuthi kungasiza nokuletha umama nendodana esimisweni somndeni ukuze kuqhubeke ukuvumelanisa amandla omndeni abanzi.
Ngokwezinga lokuthi le nsizwa ngeke isakwazi ukubhekana nengcindezi eqhubekayo yokuphazamiseka kwemizwelo kamama wayo engatholakali, bekungeke kudingeke ithembele kakhulu kubaba ukuze ithole ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo.
Ukufuna ukwelashwa kokuphazamiseka kwemizwelo yakhe
Inhloso yeseshini yokwelashwa komama nendodana, ngakho-ke, kungaba ukukholisa umama ngobumnene ngokubaluleka nokubaluleka kokufuna kwakhe ukwelashwa kwesifo sakhe semizwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuzobaluleka ukuncenga umama ukuthi afune umelaphi ozomeseka ngokomoya kunokuphikisana nendodana yakhe.
Njengoba kufakazelwa lolu cwaningo lwamacala, kubonakala ngokusobala ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukukhulisa ububanzi bokwelulekwa kwezithandani ukufaka ukwelashwa komndeni lapho kudingeka. Ngingakhuthaza bonke abelaphi kanye namakhasimende angaba khona okululekwa ngobudlelwano ukuthi bacabangele ukwelashwa komndeni okuhlangene uma izimo zidinga ukulungiswa ekuguqukeni kohlelo lomndeni.