-Delile
- Izindlela ze-Surefire zokuxhasa ubudlelwano bakho lapho izikhathi ziba nzima
- 1. Ukulalela okusebenzayo
- 2. Ukubanjana isikhala komunye nomunye ukuze kube nesikhathi sokuphuka
- 3. Nikela / Cela usizo
- 4. Usuku lwasebusuku
- 5. Khombisa ukubonga nokwazisa komunye nomunye
- 6. Thola amakhono okubhekana nezempilo enempilo, futhi usekelane amakhono wokubhekana
NgoFebhuwari 14, 2018, esinye sezigameko zokudubula esenzeka esikoleni senzeka kakhulu kusasele imizuzu eyi-15 ukusuka kwami, ngaphansi kwemizuzu engu-5 ukusuka esikoleni esiphakeme sendodakazi yami nemizuzu engu-15 ukusuka emsebenzini wami wangasese eBoca Raton.
Kusukela lapho, isikhathi sami esiningi samahhala besibekelwe ukunikela ngezinsizakalo ze-pro-bono ukusebenzela intsha, othisha nabazali. Ngiphinde ngaba yilungu lebhodi lenhlangano engenzi nzuzo ukusiza ukuxhasa umphakathi. NgoMashi, mina nomyeni wami savala indlu yethu entsha futhi sasisezinhlelweni zokuhamba. Ngempelasonto sithole okhiye bekuyimpelasonto ukufa kwabantu ababili ngokuzibulala kwenzeke eParkland.
Kungani ngikutshela konke lokhu?
Yebo, ukuba nezingane ezimbili (ezineminyaka engaphansi kwengu-4), ukuba ngumelaphi emphakathini obuthintwe yile nhlekelele, nokuhambisa ikhaya lakho ngasikhathi sinye kungadala ubunzima kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, futhi okwethu bekungehlukile. Ngalezo zikhathi kunezinto okufanele zenziwe ebudlelwaneni bakho ukuze usinde ezikhathini ezinzima.
Izindlela ze-Surefire zokuxhasa ubudlelwano bakho lapho izikhathi ziba nzima
Kwakunezikhathi ezinzima, izingqinamba nokungavumelani kokuthi singasiphatha kanjani isikhathi sethu futhi sibhekane nezimo ezahlukahlukene zempilo yethu. Lokhu kungiletha kusihloko sale bhulogi - Izithandani ezinempilo zibhekana kanjani nezikhathi ezinzima?
Ngokubona kwami, into yokuqala okufanele uyiqaphele ubuhlobo ngumsebenzi wansuku zonke.
Uma ufuna ukuba nobudlelwano obuqinile, obuhle nomunye wakho obalulekile uyisebenzele ngenkuthalo nsuku zonke.
Abanye abantu bangazitshela manje - nsuku zonke? Yebo! Nsuku zonke! Incazelo emfushane yalesi sitatimende ukuthi uma iqembu ngalinye ebudlelwaneni liqinisekisa ukuthi liyaqinisekisa ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zomlingani walo ngakho-ke bajabule ngothando nokusekelwa okungenamibandela ngakho-ke asikho isizathu sokuthi zombili izinhlangothi zingabi yinjabulo enkulu, kwesokudla?
Ngithole le ndatshana enhle lapha, kepha nazi izeluleko engizithole zilusizo ezikhathini zethu ezinzima.
Ngiyazi ukuthi kulula ukusho kunokukwenza, kepha uma uhlala uhambisana neminye yale mikhuba ngikholelwa ukuthi unganqoba noma yini futhi kuzomane kukwenze umbhangqwana oqinile! Lezi izindlela eziphumelelayo zokunqoba isichibi esibuhlungu ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Ababili uDkt Gottman babhale ucwaningo oluningi ngalesi sihloko futhi.
1. Ukulalela okusebenzayo
Abanye bethu bakuthatha kalula ukulalela futhi baphuthelwe kokuningi okungasiza ubudlelwano. Uma ungalaleli umlingani wakho, izinto zingaba nzima kakhulu futhi zikhungathekise futhi zingadala ukuthi izinto zikhuphuke ngokuqhubekayo.
2. Ukubanjana isikhala komunye nomunye ukuze kube nesikhathi sokuphuka
Okufanelekile, kufanele sizame ukuhlala sizolile futhi sibekezelele umlingani wethu.
Kodwa-ke, lapho becindezelekile, kwesinye isikhathi omunye noma bobabili abalingani bangaba nesidingo sokuthukuthela nokuzola. Lokhu akulungile, kepha sonke singabantu futhi singaphuka ngaphansi kwengcindezi kwesinye isikhathi.
Yenza umzamo wokuqonda nokusekela lapho lokho kwenzeka. Zama ukuba ngamanzi, lapho uzwa umlingani wakho umlilo. Thethelela uma kunesidingo futhi ungabambi amagqubu futhi uvume lapho wenze iphutha.
3. Nikela / Cela usizo
Ukucela usizo kozakwethu (ngisho nemindeni eyengeziwe) ngezikhathi ezinzima kungenza izinto zibe lula. Ukwazisa umlingani wakho ukuthi unenkinga kungabanika ithuba lokuqonda nokubekezela. Ukubona ukuthi usenkingeni kungasiza ukuxhumana okuphathelene nayo. Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo ngokujwayelekile.
4. Usuku lwasebusuku
Ikakhulukazi lapho izinto zinzima. Akudingeki kube uhambo olubizayo, kepha isikhathi esithile sekhwalithi ngaphandle kweziphazamiso ezivela ezinganeni, kubangani, emndenini, njll.
Ukuthola isikhathi sokuxhuma komunye nomunye nokuchitha isikhathi sekhwalithi kuyisidingo. Ukusondelana kuyingxenye yako; ucansi lungenza izinto zibe ngcono kakhulu. Jabulani ndawonye futhi nenze izinto eningazange nizenze isikhathi eside.
5. Khombisa ukubonga nokwazisa komunye nomunye
Noma kunjalo, umlingani wakho kungenzeka uyazi ukuthi uyamthanda, qiniseka ukubakhumbuza ngayo usebenzisa ulimi lwabo lothando (angazi ukuthi luyini? Imibuzo lapha). Ukwenza umuntu azizwe ethandwa futhi aziswa kungasiza kakhulu ngesikhathi senhlekelele.
6. Thola amakhono okubhekana nezempilo enempilo, futhi usekelane amakhono wokubhekana
Ukuba nesikhathi sodwa sokwenza okuthile okuthandayo nomlingani wakho ongathandi ukukwenza kunempilo nakho. Ukuhlala nabafana / amantombazane kanyekanye kwenza ubuhlobo buqine isikhathi esiningi, kuyasiza ukwakha ukwethembana.
Uma kunzima kuwe ukuthola lawo makhono okubhekana ngokwakho ungabhekela usizo lwangaphandle bese ubona owelapha ogxile ekusebenzeni kwezithandani. Uma unanoma imuphi umbuzo kimi noma omunye umuntu weqembu lami angasiza lapha.