-Delile
- 1. Ukwelashwa okuzuza ukuqonda
- 2. Ukwelulekwa kwezokuxhumana
- 3. Ukwelashwa kokunamathiselwe
- 4. Ukwelulekwa ngemibhangqwana ye-Psychodynamic
- 5. Indlela kaGottman yokwelashwa kwezithandani
- 6. I-Positive psychology imibhangqwana yokwelashwa
Umshado ubuhlobo obuyinkimbinkimbi. Umbhangqwana ngamunye uhlangabezana nezithiyo eziningi phakathi nempilo yawo yomshado. Abanye bayazinqoba bebodwa kanti abanye badinga usizo lwangaphandle oluncane. Labo abalwa nobudlelwano babo kepha bangasitholi isisombululo ezinkingeni zabo bangafuna usizo kubaluleki bemishado. Abeluleki bemishado banekhono lokuhlonza izinkinga ebudlelwaneni; bangasiza imibhangqwana ukucinga, ukuthola nokuqeda izithiyo ezidala izinkinga ebudlelwaneni bazo. Lokhu, nokho, ukwenziwa kweqe ngokweqile kwalokho okushiwo ukwelulekwa ngomshado. Ukube bekulula kangaka, imibhangqwana ebhekene nezinkinga ebudlelwaneni bayo ibizoya kubeluleki, abebezothola futhi belaphe izinkinga zabo, futhi ngabe abukho ubudlelwano obuphukile noma isehlukaniso!
Uma uzimisele ukulungisa ubudlelwano bakho futhi ufuna ukuthola usizo kumeluleki wemishado, into yokuqala okufanele uyenze ukuthola indlela yokwelulekwa ezokufanelekela. Isinyathelo sesibili ukuthola umeluleki omuhle osebenzisa indlela oyikhethayo yokweluleka. Indlela yokwelulekwa engalungile noma umeluleki ongenamandla angenza izinkinga zakho zomshado zibe zimbi kakhulu. Kunezimo lapho imibhangqwana, ngaphansi kokuqondiswa kokululekwa okungalungile igcine yakha inkundla yempi ehhovisi lomelaphi, yakhipha izinto ezinobuthi komunye nomunye futhi yaqhuba ubudlelwano bayo kwaze kwaba sekugcineni.
Zonke izinkinga zomshado zehlukile, wonke umuntu osemshadweni uhlukile ngakho-ke zonke izindlela zokweluleka ngomshado azisebenzi kubo bonke abashadikazi. Nalu uhlu lwezindlela zokwelashwa kwezithandani ezisetshenziselwa ukwelapha izinkinga zobudlelwano.
1. Ukwelashwa okuzuza ukuqonda
Imibhangqwana, enezimpikiswano kaningi, icindezela ubudlelwano bayo ize ifike eqophelweni lokuthi ayikwazi ukubona izinkinga zayo ngokusobala. Bahlala bethukuthelele njalo futhi intukuthelo yabo iyaqhubeka ikhula. Ngemuva kwesikhashana izimpi zabo azisizi ngalutho futhi konke abakufezayo yilokho, ukusola nokukhombana ngeminwe.
Imibhangqwana enjalo kufanele ifune umeluleki wemishado osebenzisa ukuqonda ukuthola ukwelashwa. Ngale ndlela, umeluleki ucwaninga ngokusebenzisana kwalezi zithandani, indlela yazo yokuphila nobudlelwano bazo ngendlela efanele. Umeluleki uqoqa imininingwane emayelana nokuthi kwenzekani phakathi kwezithandani bese ezama ukuthola imbangela, okuyisizathu esiyinhloko sokuxabana kwabo. Ngemuva kwalokho, kwakha uhlelo lokuthi ungabeluleka kanjani, ukuthi ungaxazulula kanjani inkinga yabo nokuthi ungayithuthukisa kanjani indlela yabo yokuxhumana.
2. Ukwelulekwa kwezokuxhumana
Inkinga yezokuxhumana ngesinye sezizathu ezinkulu ezenza imibhangqwana ihlukane. Kukhona imibhangqwana engayikhulumi imizwa yayo ngokweqiniso ngenxa yokwesaba ukuhlekwa usulu noma ukwenza abalingani babo bathukuthele noma bangajabuli. Yize lokhu kungabangi izingxabano noma izimpi ngamazwi, kudala ibanga elingokomzwelo phakathi kwalabo abashadile.
Abeluleki abagxile ekuxhumaneni bafanele kakhulu leyo mibhangqwana. Bafundisa imibhangqwana ukuthi kungani ukuveza imizwa yabo kubalingani babo kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni babo nokuthi baziveze kanjani kahle, ukuze bangalimazi, bacasule noma bathukuthelise umlingani wabo. Basiza ukuvuselela uhlelo lokuxhumana lwezithandani futhi bagcwalise ukungabi naluthando kobuhlobo babo.
3. Ukwelashwa kokunamathiselwe
Imibhangqwana eshade isikhathi eside ivame ukuzwa ukulahleka kothando nentshisekelo ebudlelwaneni bayo. Ibanga elingokomzwelo phakathi kwale mibhangqwana kwesinye isikhathi liyakhula lize lifike manqikanqika ngokuhlanganyela imizwa yabo siqu. Besaba ukuthi imizwa yabo esondelene nayo ngeke iqinisekiswe noma izokwaliwa abalingani babo, bazizwa bengenangqondo ekuvumeleni leyo mizwa yingakho bengakwenzi.
Ezimweni ezinjalo ukwelashwa okunamathiselwe kungasiza ekutholeni abalingani eduze komunye nomunye. Lokhu kwelashwa kukhuthaza abalingani ukuthi bakhulume omunye nomunye ngemizwa eyimfihlo ngokweqile, ngisho nezinto ezingasho lutho futhi ezingabalulekile. Lokhu kushintshana kwemizwa kusiza ukuvuselela ezothando ebudlelwaneni futhi kuqinise ukuxhumana phakathi kwezithandani.
4. Ukwelulekwa ngemibhangqwana ye-Psychodynamic
Lapho oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani benza okuthile ngokungenangqondo ebudlelwaneni, izingxabano zizokwenzeka. Isizathu sokuziphatha okungenangqondo noma okungasebenzi kahle kungaba yinto engathandeki yobuntwana noma ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo okuncane. Abantu abanjalo banemibono esontekile ngobudlelwano babo ngakho-ke abakwazi ukuphendula ngendlela enengqondo ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Umeluleki we-psychodynamic angasiza abantu abanjalo ngokukhomba indlela abaziphethe ngayo nangokucacisa isizathu senkambiso eyinqaba nokululeka umuntu othintekayo kanye nomlingani wakhe ngokulungisa lokho nokuba nomshado ongcono.
5. Indlela kaGottman yokwelashwa kwezithandani
Ukungezwani futhi kudala umehluko phakathi kwezithandani futhi kunzima ukuthi izithandani zikuxazulule zodwa. Indlela kaGottman yokwelashwa kwemibhangqwana ingasebenza kakhulu kubo. Ngale ndlela, imibhangqwana yenziwa imephu yenjabulo yabo, yomunye nomunye, ukukhathazeka, ukukhathazeka namathemba abo. Lokhu kubasiza ukuthi baqondane kangcono futhi kususe ukungezwani okwadala izingxabano ebudlelwaneni babo. Lokhu kwenza imibhangqwana ibonane ngokukhanya okusha futhi kwandisa ukwazisa nenhlonipho ebudlelwaneni babo.
6. I-Positive psychology imibhangqwana yokwelashwa
Ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside injabulo nokuthokoza kwesinye isikhathi kuyabuna futhi imibhangqwana iyakhohlwa ukuthi inenhlanhla kangakanani yokuba nomlingani okhathalelayo nozinze. Ukwelashwa okuhle kwengqondo kusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ikhumbule, yamukele futhi yamukele izinto ezinhle ezenzeka ebudlelwaneni bazo nsuku zonke. Kulokhu kwelashwa umeluleki wenza abashadile babhale izinto ezibenze bamamatheka futhi bazizwa bejabule ngosuku. Lokhu kwenza imibhangqwana izizwe inethemba futhi kubuyisa injabulo ebudlelwaneni babo.
Lezi ngezinye zezindlela eziphumelelayo zokweluleka ngemishado ezingasiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ibone izinkinga ebudlelwaneni bayo futhi ingabasiza bathuthukise ubudlelwano babo.