Ngamafuphi, impendulo ithi - iyakwenza. Noma ngokunembile - kungenzeka. Kepha kuyinselele enkulu ukwedlula ukwelashwa komuntu oyedwa ngoba empeleni, bobabili abalingani kudingeka bazimisele ukushintsha futhi babe namandla okwenza kanjalo. Ukwelashwa kuzosebenza kahle kangakanani kwabashadikazi, nakwabashadile ngawodwana, kuzoya ngezici eziningi, phakathi kwazo okubaluleke kakhulu ukuzibophezela kwabalingani enqubeni, isimo kanye nokujula kwenkinga, izinga lapho amaklayenti ahlobana khona nodokotela wabo, kanye nokufaneleka okujwayelekile kwabalingani ekuqaleni. Nawa amanye amaqiniso athakazelisayo futhi abalulekile ongawazi ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukubonisana nodokotela wezomshado ngenkinga yakho, noma lapho usuvele ukwenzile:
1. Kungenzeka ukuthi usuvele uthathe isinqumo sokuthi uzovuma yini ukwelashwa ukusiza ukusindisa umshado wakho.
Futhi lesi sinqumo asazi lutho. Noma ngabe ukukholelwa kwakho ukuthi uhhafu wemishado uphela ngesehlukaniso (izibalo ezingaselona iqiniso, njengoba kulezi zinsuku abantu abashadayo bekwenza lokho ikakhulukazi ngokucabangela ngokucophelela nangezinkolelo eziqinile esikhungweni somshado), noma isinqumo sakho esisondelene kakhulu ukuqeda umshado yize ngaphandle usabukeka sengathi uwulwela izinyo nesipikili. Futhi ukucabanga kwangaphambili okunjalo, noma ngabe awazi ngokuphelele noma ungabona amazwibela alo, kuyisici esisodwa esinamandla kakhulu esinganquma ngokuphumelela kwayo yonke imizamo yabelaphi yokukusiza ukubuyisa umshado wakho. Akuvamile ukuthi abashadikazi beze ekwelashweni komshado okungenani oyedwa wabashadikazi abebekade befuna ukucekela phansi imizamo yalo mhlengikazi, ukuze bathole isiqinisekiso sezinkolelo zabo ezijule kakhulu ngokuthi umshado wabo uzoguquka uphele kanjani. Lolu udaba oluyinkimbinkimbi futhi ludinga ukunakekelwa ngokucophelela ngudokotela wasemshadweni, futhi uma selulethwe ebusweni bokuqwashisa, inqubo esele yokwelapha ilula impela.
2. Uma ungena ngokushesha ekwelashweni komshado amathuba okuba asebenze angcono
Izingxabano zomshado zinomkhuba wokuba zingapheli futhi ziguquke ngaphezu kokuqashelwa. Kungenzeka ukuthi kuqale njengokukhungatheka okulula kwesisodwa noma zombili izidingo zabalingani, inkinga yokuxhumana esombululeka kalula, noma ukungeneliseki okukodwa, kepha kushiya noma iyiphi leyo nkinga kungabhekiwe ekujuliseni ukunganeliseki, ukunabisa ukudana, nokungena esimweni esingelapheki sokungajabuli okuheha kuphela izinkinga ezintsha nezinkulu. Abanye abelaphi baze beluleke, maqondana nalokho, ukuthi imibhangqwana iqala ngokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado ukuze ifundiswe izindlela zokukhulumisana okunempilo nokuveza imizwa yabo ngaphambi kokuhlangabezana nezinkinga ezijwayelekile zomshado. Kodwa-ke, kulabo asebeshadile futhi sebenokungezwani, kubalulekile ukuthi ufune izeluleko nosizo lochwepheshe ngokushesha okukhulu ukuze ukwelashwa komshado kube namathuba amakhulu okuphumelela.
3. Ungagcina uthola isehlukaniso noma kunjalo - kodwa kuzoba yisinqumo esinempilo nesinolwazi.
Akekho kumakhasimende ezokwelapha emshadweni othemba ukuthi uzobasiza ukuthi bahlukanise (hhayi okungenani okungenani), kepha balindele ukwelashwa komlingo kukho konke ukukhathazeka kwabo. Onke amaklayenti ekululekeni kwezithandani akhona ngoba efuna ukuzizwa engcono ngomshado wawo. Kodwa-ke, kwesinye isikhathi lokhu kusho ukuthi bazothola isehlukaniso. Kwesinye isikhathi abalingani abalingani kahle, kwesinye isikhathi izinkinga bezishuba kakhulu kangangokuba umehluko ube ungalungiseki. Kulezo zimo, inqubo yokwelashwa komshado iyoba yisikhathi sokuphulukisa ubudlelwano nokunikeza amandla abashadile njengabantu ngabodwana, kepha ngomphumela wokufinyelela ekufinyeleleni komshado okubuhlungu kakhulu nokusobala komphakathi ngangokunokwenzeka. Kwesinye isikhathi, ukwelashwa kusebenza njengomqamelo ozonciphisa ukuwa obekungagwemeki kwasekuqaleni.
Ekuphetheni, ayikho impendulo yendawo yonke yombuzo osesihlokweni. Impela ingasindisa eminye imishado. Kepha abanye bahlukaniswe kangcono, noma ngabe isehlukaniso siletha ingcindezi engakanani - njengoba ukuhlala emshadweni kwesinye isikhathi kuyisimo esinobuthi kakhulu. Umhlaba ugcwele bobabili abahlukanisile ngenjabulo nalabo imishado yabo yasindiswa futhi yathuthukiswa ngosizo lomelaphi owanele. Okuwukuphela kwesixazululo esibi ukuthi lezi zithandani zihlale zisendaweni engqubuzanayo engenampilo nokuphikelela nokungezwani, okungaba namandla okucekela phansi izimpilo zabo bonke abathintekayo.