-Delile
- Kuyini ukukhathazeka?
- Isizathu sokuthi kungani abantu abaphethwe yisifo sokukhathazeka
- Ungamthanda kanjani umuntu onexhala
- Izinto okufanele uzikhumbule lapho uthanda umuntu onexhala
Ukulungele kangakanani ukuba sothandweni olubucayi? Kuyinselele ngokwanele ukuba sebudlelwaneni ikakhulukazi lapho konke sekuba kubi kakhulu kepha yini enye lapho umuntu omthandayo ehlushwa ukukhathazeka?
Kufana kanjani nokuthanda umuntu onexhala? Uma ungumuntu othanda umuntu onalesi sifo, ungahle ube nelukuluku lokuthi ungamsiza kanjani umlingani wakho kulolu hambo.
Kuyini ukukhathazeka?
Sihlala silizwa igama elithi ukukhathazeka kepha kubi kangakanani? Ukuthanda umuntu onexhala kungakulethela imibuzo eminingi njengokuthi ungamsiza kanjani umlingani wakho? Ungamqinisekisa kanjani lo muntu ukuthi ngeke ubashiye futhi ubalahle? Singakwazi ukuqonda kahle le mibuzo uma sijwayele ukuthi kuyini ngempela ukukhathazeka.
Ukukhathazeka impendulo yomzimba wethu ekwesabeni lapho ingqondo yethu izokhombisa khona ukuthi umzimba wethu kufanele usabele noma nini lapho ubona ukwesaba.
Kungumuzwa ojwayelekile sonke esinawo ngesinye isikhathi ngoba kungenye yezindlela zomqondo wethu ukusixwayisa uma kwenzeka kuba nengozi noma yisiphi isimo esidinga ukuthi sisabele ngesinye sezi zimpawu ezilandelayo okudingeka ukuthi siqaphele:
- ukugijima kwenhliziyo nokuphefumula okusheshayo
- izintende ezijulukile
- ukushaya kwenhliziyo
- ukuzwa izimvemvane esiswini sakho
- 'ukuqhuma' okungazelelwe kwamandla
Ukuthanda umuntu onenkinga yokukhathazeka kwehlukile kodwa ngoba umuzwa wokukhathazeka awusenzeki lapho kunenhlamvu yangempela efana nengozi. Ukukhathazeka kuyalawula ukuthi kuqala ukuthinta kakhulu impilo yomuntu. Kwesinye isikhathi, izimpawu zokukhathazeka zenzeka lapho uphume nabantu abaningi, lapho ukhuluma nomuntu ongamazi, noma ngisho nokuthenga ukudla.
Isizathu sokuthi kungani abantu abaphethwe yisifo sokukhathazeka
- Isifo sokukhathazeka kwezenhlalo - kulapho ukuhlaselwa ukukhathazeka ezimweni zenhlalo njengokuthi usendaweni enabantu abaningi noma kufanele ukhulume nomphathi wakho noma kufanele wenze izethulo lapho izimbangela zakho zikukhawulela ekwenzeni umsebenzi wakho. Imbangela yokukhathazeka lapha ukwesaba ukuthi abanye abantu bangathini.
- Isifo sokukhathazeka esijwayelekile - kulapho ukukhathazeka kumboza ukukhathazeka ngokweqile nganoma yini nakho konke. Kucabanga ngakho konke kufaka nokuthi ukhathazeka kanjani ngezinkathazo zakho. Kukuvimbela ukuthi ungakhiqizi nje ngomsebenzi kodwa nangempilo yakho yansuku zonke.
- I-Panic disorder - ingesinye sezigaba ezivame kakhulu zokukhathazeka. Yilapho ogulayo ephindaphindeka khona ngokwesaba mayelana nezimbangela ezincane kakhulu njengomuntu ongqongqoza emnyango wabo. Lapho bezama kakhulu ukukugwema, kulapho kubadla khona kakhulu.
Isifo sokukhathazeka singathinta noma ngubani, imvamisa ngemuva kwesehlakalo esithile esibuhlungu noma esicindezelayo, impilo yomuntu ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo kanye nomlando womndeni kungaba nomthelela ezinkingeni zokukhathazeka.
Isikhathi esiningi abantu abanenkinga yokukhathazeka bazophinde bahlakulele ukudangala isikhathi esengeziwe futhi ngaleyo ndlela kukhulise ukuhlukunyezwa komuntu onakho.
Ungamthanda kanjani umuntu onexhala
Ukuthanda umuntu ngokukhathazeka nokudangala kuzoba yinselelo enzima kuwo wonke umuntu. Ukuthanda umuntu ngokukhathazeka kuhlala kuyisinqumo. Lapho usazi ukuthi umuntu omthandayo uhlushwa yikho, kufanele uzinike isikhathi sokucabanga ngoba lokhu kuyinto edinga ukubekezela, uthando nenhlonipho.
Ukuthanda umuntu onalesi simo kuzodinga ukuqinisekiswa njalo ukuthi ngeke ubashiye futhi kwesinye isikhathi lokhu kungaba kakhulu ngisho nasothandweni lweqiniso. Ngakho-ke lapho sibhekene nalesi simo, kufanele ukhumbule izinto ezithile ezibalulekile ngokuthanda umuntu okhathazekile.
Izinto okufanele uzikhumbule lapho uthanda umuntu onexhala
Ukuthanda umuntu onengcindezi nokukhathazeka kunzima ngakho uma uthathe isinqumo sokuhlala, khona-ke usothandweni lweqiniso. Uma kuba nzima, thatha isikhathi sakho ukhumbule:
- Ukukhathazeka akuchazi lo muntu ngoba bangaphezu nje komuntu onexhala. Lapho ukuthola kunzima kakhulu ukubhekana nalesi simo, khumbula ukuthi ngubani lo muntu nokuthi yini oyithandayo ngaye.
- Ungazizwa ukhathele kukho konke ukuqonda nokubekezela okunikezayo kepha khumbula ukuthi abantu abanesifo sokukhathazeka nokudangala bakhathele kabili noma kathathu njengoba bekhathele ngoba le mizwa iyabekezelela.
- Kwesinye isikhathi, bangenza okuthile okungalungile; awudingi ukukukhomba njalo ngoba ngemuva kwezingqondo zabo, bayazi nezenzo zabo ezingenangqondo.
- Lapho uzizwa umazi kahle lo muntu futhi ukuqonda konke, kuhle, leso yisikhathi lapho udinga ukulalela khona. Bangakwazi ukuvula futhi bangakuvumela ungene kodwa lapho bebona ukuthi uyakhathala nje, bancamela ukuzibamba.
- Ungase ucabange ukuthi awubalulekile ngesikhathi esithile kodwa qiniseka ukuthi awunjalo. Awazi ukuthi ubaluleke kangakanani njengamanje; awazi ukuthi ubonga kangakanani umuntu onexhala lokukubona unamathela kubo.
- Ukuqinisekiswa njalo kungazwakala kuswela kakhulu kwesinye isikhathi kepha bayakudinga. Ukubhekana nokudangala nokukhathazeka nokuba nzima ukukulawula akulula neze. Kufana nesilo esizidla zihamba kancane kepha ukuba nawe ube lapho futhi uziqinisekise ukuthi kuzolunga kungaphezu kokwanele ukulwela olunye usuku.
- Okokugcina, ukuthanda umuntu ngokukhathazeka akukhona ukuphela kwendlela. Zisamangalisa ngosuku owahlangana nabo futhi ngobukhona bakho nokusekelwa kwakho, bangabuyela kulowo muntu owesabekayo futhi.
Ungamthanda kanjani umuntu onexhala? Lokhu kungazwakala kudinga kodwa akunjalo. Kumane kunweba ezinye zezici nezenzo osuvele uzinika zona. Kukwazi ukukhombisa ukuthi ungama kanjani nalowo muntu ebunzimeni noma mncane futhi kuyindlela yokubonisa ukuthi bafanelwe ukuthanda nokuthandwa nabo. Kunezindlela eziningi ongaxhasa ngazo umlingani wakho ngokusebenzisa ukwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo kanye nezinye izindlela zokusekela. Ukuthanda umuntu ngokukhathazeka kungenye yezinselelo okuzodingeka nibhekane nazo njengezithandani.