-Delile
- Kungani abantu bethanda umuntu ngokweqile
- Izizathu eziyishumi zokuthi kungani kungalungile ukuthanda umuntu ngokweqile
- 1. Ungahle ukhokhele okungaphansi kwalokho obekukufanele
- 2. Ngeke ukufeze ukusondelana kweqiniso
- 3. Konakalisa ukuzethemba kwakho
- 4. Uzoziphatha kabi komunye umuntu bese ulahlekelwa nguwe
- 5. Uzoba ngumuntu othokozisa abantu
- 6. Ukuchaza ukuzihlonipha kwakho kwabanye kuholela ekwahluleleni okungekuhle
- 7. Ziba amafulegi abomvu
- 8.Ungaze uzibe nokuzinakekela kwakho
- 9. Uzokwakha imingcele empofu
- 10. Ungaqhubeka ufisa futhi unethemba lokuthi umlingani wakho uzoshintsha
- Amathiphu wokubambisana okujabulisayo
- Ukudla okudlela endlini
Kuyaqondakala ukuthi sonke siqala empilweni yethu ukufuna ukuzizwa siphephile, sithandwa, futhi samukelwa. Kungokwemvelo yethu eyisisekelo ukufuna ukuphepha nokufuna ukunikeza nokwamukela uthando. Abanye bethu bathola ukuthi indlela engcono yokwenza lokhu ukubeka eceleni lokho esikufunayo noma esizwayo bese sivumela izidingo nemizwa yomunye umuntu ukuba ize kuqala.
Yize lokhu kungasebenza isikhashana, akuhlali isikhathi eside ngoba, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, intukuthelo yakha lapho siqhubeka nokunikeza uthando kepha singalutholi uthando nokunakekela.
Kepha uthando lukhulu kangakanani? Ake sithathe isibonelo.
Isibonelo, uMelissa, 43, wahlala eshade noSteve, 45, iminyaka eyishumi waqhubeka nokukhulisa futhi wazama ukumshintsha waze waqala ukuzizwa ecindezelekile ngemuva kokuzalwa kwendodana yabo, futhi nezidingo zakhe zazinganakwa njalo nguSteve.
UMelissa wakubeka kanjena: “Kwaze kwaba yilapho senginendodana yami lapho ngabona khona ukuthi izidingo zami zazinganakwa kangakanani, futhi ukuzethemba kwami kwaba namandla. USteve ubefika ekhaya alindele ukuthi ngimlinde bese ngibuza ngosuku lwakhe, ngaphandle kokubheka ukuthi ngithathe ingane yethu yomfana ekunakekelweni kwengane ehoreni ngaphambili futhi nami ngidinga uthando nokwesekwa. ”
Kungani abantu bethanda umuntu ngokweqile
Kungenzeka yini ukuthanda umuntu ngokweqile? Ungakwazi ukuthanda umuntu ngokweqile
Yebo. Ukuthanda umuntu kakhulu kuze kube buhlungu kungenzeka, futhi kunezizathu zokuthi kungani abantu bezitika ngalokho.
Isizathu esikhulu esenza abantu bathande ukuthanda kakhulu ebudlelwaneni ukuthi abazizwa befanelekile. Lapho sizizwa sinamaphutha noma singathandeki, singahle singazethembi izinhloso zabanye zokupha noma ukusenzela izinto - noma ukubuyisela imizwa yothando.
Mhlawumbe ukhulele emndenini lapho wawungumnakekeli noma wagxila kakhulu ekwenzeni abanye bajabule. Mhlawumbe uze wazizwa ukuthi kufanele ube esimweni esihle ngaphandle kwemizwa yakho yangempela, ngakho-ke waba ngumuntu ojabulisa abantu.
Isibonelo, amantombazane avame ukukhuliswa ukukhipha izwi lawo langaphakathi futhi lokhu kungabeka inkundla yobudlelwano obunhlangothi ngoba abethembi imizwa yabo. Khumbula ukuthi ukusondelana ngokomzwelo akukhona ukuncika ngokomzwelo.
Abantu abaningi bathanda kakhulu ngoba besaba ukuba bodwa noma bazizwa benesibopho senjabulo yomlingani wabo. Bahlale begeza uthando olweqile ngokubeka izidingo zabalingani babo ngaphambi kwezabo.
Ngokusho kombhali u-Allison Pescosolido, MA,
“Ayikho into eqeda ukuzethemba okushesha ukwedlula ubudlelwano obungenampilo. Abesifazane abaningi bahlala emishadweni engenampilo ngoba banesiqiniseko sokuthi yilokhu okufanelekile. ”
Kwezinye izimo, asikho isidingo sokushiya ubudlelwano ngoba ubudlelwano buyaphola uma abantu bezimisele ukushintsha amandla. Kepha ukuze welaphe iphethini engenampilo yokuxhomekeka, kuyasiza ukuqonda ukuthi kungani kungewona umqondo omuhle ukuthanda kakhulu.
Izizathu eziyishumi zokuthi kungani kungalungile ukuthanda umuntu ngokweqile
Ingabe akunampilo ukuthanda umuntu ngokweqile? Kunengozi enkulu ekuthandeni umuntu ngokweqile. Ukuthanda kakhulu kungonakalisa ubuntu bomuntu futhi kuthinte ubudlelwane kabi.
1. Ungahle ukhokhele okungaphansi kwalokho obekukufanele
Ugcina usuhlala ngaphansi kokufanele futhi uzizwe kukuhle ukuyekethisa kunokulinda ukungaqiniseki. Ukwesaba kwakho kungakuyekisa ukucela uthando, noma ngabe izidingo zakho zingatholakali, ngoba wesaba ukuba wedwa futhi ukhathazeke ngokuthi uzohlala ungashadile kuze kube phakade.
2. Ngeke ukufeze ukusondelana kweqiniso
Ukuba sengozini futhi ucele okudingayo kuthuthukisa ukusondelana ngokomzwelo. Ngokuthanda ngokweqile, uzodala inkohliso yokusondelana nokulawula, kepha ngeke kukulethele uthando. Isazi seCodependency uDarlene Lancer uyabhala:
“Ukuba sengozini kuvumela abanye abantu ukuthi basibone futhi baxhumane nathi. Ukwamukela kuvula izingxenye zethu ezifisa ukubonwa nokuqondwa. Kusinika umusa lapho samukela ngempela. ”
3. Konakalisa ukuzethemba kwakho
Uma usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezekile ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba, kuzokuqeda ukuzizwa kwakho.
Kungenzeka ukuthi ukufihlile lokhu emndenini noma kubangani ngenxa yezinkinga ezinamahloni noma zokuxhomekeka - ukubeka izidingo zomlingani wakho ngaphambi kwezakho. Ukuthanda kakhulu nokuba ebudlelwaneni obunhlangothi olulodwa kunganciphisa ukuzethemba kwakho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
4. Uzoziphatha kabi komunye umuntu bese ulahlekelwa nguwe
Njengoba umlingani wakho engakwazi noma engazimisele ukukunikeza uthando olukufanele - ungaxubana nomunye umuntu ukwamukela okulindelwe, izidingo, noma izifiso zakho futhi uzidele kakhulu. Ekugcineni, uzozizwa wehliswe isithunzi futhi ulahlekelwe umuzwa wokuthi ungubani.
5. Uzoba ngumuntu othokozisa abantu
Uma uthanda umuntu ngokweqile, ungahamba ngaphezulu nangaphezulu ukwenza abanye bajabule. Ungakugwema ukubhekana nomlingani wakho ngezinto ezibalulekile ngoba ugxila kakhulu ezidingweni zabo noma ukhathazeka kakhulu ngemizwa kazakwenu kunokwakho.
6. Ukuchaza ukuzihlonipha kwakho kwabanye kuholela ekwahluleleni okungekuhle
Ngabe unendaba kakhulu nokuthi abanye bacabangani ngawe? Uma ungazizwa uthandwa futhi uhlonishwa ngumlingani wakho kodwa uthanda umuntu ngokweqile, ungahle uzigxeke futhi uziqaphele izinqumo zakho.
Bheka le vidiyo lapho uNiko Everett abelana ngendaba yakhe futhi anikeze isifundo ekwakheni ukuzethemba nokuzazi.
7. Ziba amafulegi abomvu
Amafulegi abomvu ayizimpawu ezisobala zokuthi ubambiswano lungahle lungathembi ubuqotho ngoba uzakwethu obhekene naye kungenzeka angakulungeli. Uma uthanda umuntu ngokweqile, ungakushaya indiva ukungathembeki komlingani wakho, ukuba kwakhe naye, noma ukuthambekela komona ngoba wenqaba ukubhekana neqiniso.
8.Ungaze uzibe nokuzinakekela kwakho
Uma uthanda umuntu ngokweqile, uzizwa sengathi uzicabangela wena uma uzinakekela. Uqondisa lonke uthando lwakho nokunakekela kumlingani wakho bese uqala ukubabeka kuqala ngaphezu kwakho, bese uqala ukuthola le ndlela ivumelekile futhi ingeyangempela.
9. Uzokwakha imingcele empofu
Lokhu kungasho ukuthi unenkinga yokuthi "cha" kuzicelo zabanye noma uvumele abanye ukuthi basizakale ngawe. Uma uthanda ngokweqile, uthatha umthwalo wezenzo nemizwa yomlingani wakho.
Imingcele enjalo engenampilo evela othandweni oluningi ingaholela ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo.
10. Ungaqhubeka ufisa futhi unethemba lokuthi umlingani wakho uzoshintsha
Isidingo sakho sokuziguqula zingaba umlutha. Ngaphandle kobufakazi obuphikisana nalokho, unamathela ekhanda lakho esihlabathini. Unethemba lokuthi zizoshintsha ngenkathi zihlala kubudlelwano obunobuthi obugcwele amaphethini obudlelwano obungenampilo.
Amathiphu wokubambisana okujabulisayo
Ngakho-ke, ungathandani ngokweqile? Ungayeka kanjani ukuthanda umuntu ngokweqile?
Ukuze wephule iphethini lokuthanda kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, kuwumqondo omuhle ukuzifundisa ukuthi ubudlelwano obunempilo bubukeka kanjani. Ngaphandle kokubuka abangane bakho (noma osebenza nabo) abanabo, izimfihlo zobambiswano olujabulisayo zilula kakhulu:
- Ukuhloniphana, uthando, nokubonisa izenzo zothando
- Ukuxhumana okuthembekile nokuvulelekile nokuba sengozini
- Ukudlala namahlaya
- Ukutholakala okungokomzwelo ngabo bobabili abalingani futhi ngamunye uphatha izinto zakhe
- Ukuphindaphinda okusho ukuthi kokubili ukunika nokwamukela uthando
- Ukuncika okunempilo — ukukwazi ukuthembela kumlingani wakho ngaphandle kokuncika kakhulu komunye nomunye
- Okuhlangenwe nakho okwabiwe kanye nombono ngekusasa lakho
- Ukuthembeka nokuvela nsuku zonke
- Ukungasoli umlingani wakho ngalokho okukuhluphayo
- Ukuba ngumuntu wakho futhi ungesabi ukuba wedwa
Uma ufuna ukushintsha iphethini lokuthanda kakhulu umlingani, lalela izwi lakho langaphakathi. Kukangaki usho, “Ngangazi ukuthi izinto ziyesabeka? Kungani bengingazethembi ukuthi ngizobuza engikudingayo noma ngihambe ngokushesha? ”
Kungani singalaleli lelozwi elingaphakathi ... umuzwa wethu? Ngoba ukwenza njalo kungasho ukuthi senze enye inketho engalungile. Futhi lokho akuzwakali kahle. Sijwayele ukuzithethelela ngokuziphatha kwethu, silinganisele, futhi singazinaki izinto ezithile ngoba sifuna nje ukuba sebudlelwaneni.
Kulezo zikhathi zomfutho nezingokomzwelo, asifuni ukuma futhi sihlole amafulegi abomvu. Esikhundleni salokho, safaka izibuko zethu ezinombala ophuzi, sahamba. Esikhundleni salokho, jikijela izibuko bese uthemba amathumbu akho.
Ukudla okudlela endlini
Uma ubudlelwano bakho bukukhathaza futhi uvame ukungabaza ukuzethemba kwakho, bungaba ngohlangothi olulodwa futhi bungabi yimpilo. Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi ujwayele ukuthanda umlingani wakho ngokweqile futhi ungazinaki izidingo zakho.
Funda ukwethemba imizwa yakho futhi uzikhumbuze ukuthi ufanele ukujabula futhi uyakwazi ukuzimela. Ukushintsha kokuziphatha okukufake ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo kuthatha isikhathi. Kepha yisikhathi esisetshenziswe kahle.
Noma kungaba inqubo ebuhlungu, ukuzinika isikhala osidingayo ukuze ukhule futhi uthole ukucaciseleka ekugcineni kuzokusiza ukuthi ucele uthando olufunayo futhi uthole uthando obukade ululindile. Uyakufanelekela!