-Delile
- Buyini ubuhlobo benzondo yothando?
- Thanda ubuhlobo benzondo ngencazelo
- Ingabe usebudlelwaneni obunenzondo yothando?
- Psychology yezobudlelwano nothando
- Isivumelwano sangempela nobudlelwano benzondo yothando
Ukuba sothandweni kungumuzwa omuhle kangako, kwesinye isikhathi uze ungachazeki ukuthi umthanda kangakanani umuntu. Kungaleso sikhathi lapho ukulo muntu lapho uzizwa uphelele khona nokuthi ungathatha noma yini inqobo nje uma unabo kodwa kuthiwani uma kwesinye isikhathi uzizwa sengathi ufuna ukuqeda ubuhlobo bese uqhubekela phambili ngempilo yakho?
Cha, akufani nokuxabana kwesithandwa sakho; akulona ngisho uphawu lokuthi une-bipolar. Kukhona igama lale mizwa exubile yothando nenzondo ebhekiswe kumlingani wakho futhi lokho kubizwa ngokuthi ubuhlobo benzondo yothando.
Buyini ubuhlobo benzondo yothando?
Ngabe ikhona into enjengokuthanda nokuzonda umuntu ngasikhathi sinye nokugcina ubudlelwane nabo kule nqubo? Kuthatha umuntu ukuthi azwe imizwa enamandla kangako ukuba sebudlelwaneni benzondo yothando njengoba ungashintsha ukusuka komunye umuzwa onamandla uye kolunye.
A thanda ubuhlobo benzondo ingenzeki hhayi nesithandwa kuphela kepha futhi nomngani ngisho nengane yakini kodwa namuhla, sigxile ebudlelwaneni bezothando.
Kujwayelekile ukuba nemizwa yolaka, intukuthelo, kanye nenzondo encane lapho wena nomlingani wakho nixabana kepha uma kwenzeka kaningi ukuthi kufanele futhi esikhundleni sokuhlukana kube kuhle, uzizwa usuyaqina - ungahle ube ebudlelwaneni obunenzondo yothando.
Lobu budlelwano bungaba yi-rollercoaster engokomzwelo ngemizwa ejulile ezwiwa yilo mbhangqwana. Kokubili kuyakhulula kepha kuyadina, kuyajabulisa kodwa kuyakhathaza, kuyathandeka kepha kunolaka futhi kwesinye isikhathi kuzodingeka uzibuze - ngabe likhona ikusasa langempela lolu hlobo lobudlelwano?
Thanda ubuhlobo benzondo ngencazelo
Ake sichaze ubudlelwano benzondo yothando - lolu hlobo lobudlelwano lubonakala ngokushintsha okwedlulele nokuzumayo kwemizwelo eshayisanayo yothando nenzondo.
Kungakhathaza lapho nilwa futhi nizondana kodwa konke lokhu kungashintsha futhi ubuyele ebudlelwaneni bakho bothando futhi.
Ngesinye isikhathi, abanye bangathi umuzwa wokubuyisana ngemuva kwempi nokuthi ngamunye uzama kanjani konke okusemandleni ukuwenza amaphutha angazizwa njengokulutha ngokomzwelo kepha isikhathi esengeziwe, lokhu kungadala izindlela ezihlukumezayo ezingaholela ezenzakalweni ezilimazayo.
Ingabe usebudlelwaneni obunenzondo yothando?
Uhlukanisa kanjani nje ubudlelwano benzondo yothando nokuxabana kwesithandwa esijwayelekile? Nazi izimpawu okufanele uzibuke.
- Ngenkathi eminye imibhangqwana inezimpikiswano, wena nomlingani wakho niyiyisa kwelinye izinga. Impi yakho ejwayelekile yeqisa futhi izoholela ekuhlukaneni futhi ubuye futhi emuva kwezinsuku ezimbalwa. Kungumjikelezo wobudlelwano bokuvala nokucisha ngezimpikiswano ezeqile.
- Ngokwethembeka konke, ingabe uzibona uguga nomlingani wakho enihlanganyela naye ubudlelwano benzondo yothando? Impela konke kuyabekezeleleka manje kepha uma ungeke uzicabange nalo muntu nangephethini yobudlelwano onayo manje kungenzeka udinge ukuqala ukulungisa ubuhlobo.
- Impela ningaba nobabili obusondelene, nothando, futhi uzizwe unaleyo ngxabano enkulu yezocansi kepha kuthiwani ngalolo xhumo olujulile lapho ungakhuluma khona ngezinhloso zakho zempilo nekusasa lakho?
- Ngabe uzizwa sengathi unemithwalo yezinkinga ezingaxazululiwe ezingaba nomthelela ebudlelwaneni bakho benzondo yothando? Ukuthi le mizwa nezinkinga ezedlule zenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu?
- Unezinto eziningi kakhulu enizondanayo ngazo kodwa anenzi lutho ukulungisa inkinga nokuyixazulula. Uvele uthule ulaka nenzondo ize iqhume futhi.
- Ngabe ukhuluma ufulathele umlingani wakho kubangani bakho? Ingabe le yindlela yokukhipha ukukhungatheka nezinkinga zakho?
- Ngabe uzizwa sengathi ukuthokozela kokulwa nokufakazela ukuthi iphutha likabani bese uvela ngemuva kwempi akukuniki ubudlelwano bangempela kepha kunalokho kumane nje kukhishwe ukukhungatheka kwesikhashana?
Psychology yezobudlelwano nothando
I-psychology yobudlelwano nothando kungadida kakhulu futhi kufanele sikuqonde ukuthi kuzoba nemizwa ehlukile ezothinta indlela esibuphatha ngayo ubudlelwano bethu. Uthando luza ngezindlela eziningi nothando lwezithandani ngenye yazo. Lapho uthola umlingani ofanelekile, bobabili kufanele basebenze kanzima ukuze babe ngcono futhi bafeze injongo ejulile yokuphila.
Ngenkathi izimpikiswano nokungavumelani kuyinto ejwayelekile, akufanele nje kubangele imizwa exubile yenzondo kepha futhi nethuba lokukhula ngokomzwelo futhi lishintshe.
Ngale ndlela, bobabili abalingani bazofuna ukusebenzela ukuthuthuka kwabo ndawonye.
Isivumelwano sobudlelwano benzondo yothando ngukuthi bobabili laba bantu bahlala emizweni eyeqile nasezindabeni futhi esikhundleni sokusebenza ngezingqinamba, bavele baphendukele ekuphikisaneni nasekufakazeleni iphuzu labo kuphela ukuze baxolelwe "uthando" lwabo bese umjikelezo uqhubeka.
Isivumelwano sangempela nobudlelwano benzondo yothando
Abanye bangacabanga ukuthi bathandana kakhulu nokuthi lobu budlelwano bothando bungumphumela wothando lwabo olwedlulele komunye nomunye kanti akunjalo. Eqinisweni, akuyona indlela enempilo yokuba nobudlelwano. Ubudlelwano bangempela buzosebenza odabeni futhi buzoqinisekisa ukuthi ukuxhumana okuvulelekile kuhlala kukhona. Iqiniso elidabukisayo lapha ukuthi ngothando ubudlelwano benzondo bungakunika umuzwa ongamanga wokuthi ufunwa futhi ukwazi ukuphikisana nazo zonke izingqinamba zothando lwakho kodwa into lapha ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi lokhu kungaholela ekuhlukunyezweni futhi akekho okufunayo lokho.
Uthando lweqiniso alunabugovu, awwemukeli nje ukuthi ubudlelwane benzondo bujwayelekile futhi buzogcina bulungile - ngoba ngeke. Lobu budlelwano obungenampilo futhi ngeke busize ngalutho.
Cabanga ngezindlela zokuthi ungangcono kanjani hhayi njengomuntu kepha njengabantu abashadile. Akukephuzi kakhulu ukushintshela kokuhle futhi ube nobudlelwano obugxile othandweni nasekuhloniphweni.