-Delile
- Ukulalela okubandakanya ngempela
- 1. Ngabe ngilalele ngaphezu kokuba ngikhuluma?
- 2. Ukuqaphela kunamandla!
- 3. Akukhona ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthola iphuzu lakho
Wake wakhuluma nomunye umuntu, waphazamiseka kakhulu ukuvevezela kwezindebe zakhe? Angikhulumi, ngiyavevezela ngokudabukisayo, ngiyakhuluma, ukuqhaqhazela lapho wazi khona ukuthi bayafa! ukufa ngokuphelele! ukukhuluma okuthile lapho uyeka ukukhuluma. Noma benza empeleni, bese baqala ngokukunikeza impendulo lapho ubungabuzi umbuzo. Sonke siyamazi lowomuntu, abantu, futhi ekugcineni kwalezo zingxoxo, uhamba uzizwa ungazwakali futhi ukhungathekile. Njengombhobho omkhulu wokucabanga awunalutho ngokuphelele ngoba ngokweqiniso, bekungekho ukushintshaniswa kolwazi. Ubukhuluma, kepha akekho obelalele ngempela, futhi ngoba akekho obelalele ngempela, uhlukanisile. Kuzona zonke izigaba zentuthuko, kunentambo efanayo, siyabuzwa, ”ngabe uyalalela,” utshelwe ukuthi “ngicela ulalele,” futhi wabuza, “kungani ungangilaleli?” Intambo yegolide iyalalela, kepha akekho noyedwa ochaza ngokweqiniso ukuthi kusho ukuthini lokho, noma ukuthi kwenziwa kanjani.
Ukulalela kungukuziphatha, isenzo, futhi kusukela ebuncaneni, sifunda ukukwenza kahle, ngokukhetha, noma cha. Manje, yebo kukhona okunye phakathi, futhi ngeke sonke silalele futhi silalele kahle i-100% yesikhathi. Masithembeke, izingane zami zithi, “Mama, mama, mama, mama ...” kaninginingi, ngingayeka ukulalela. Kepha ukulalela ngokweqiniso ngenhloso, nangenhloso ngaphandle kokufaka isandla sakho kunkinobho ethi "go" kuthuba lakho, kuthatha ukufunda. Ukulalela izinguquko ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi kungaba ngumzabalazo ebuhlotsheni, emishadweni, nasekuzimele njengoba iminyaka, nezimo zikhula futhi zicindezela, futhi mhlawumbe kubaluleke kakhulu ukwazi ukuthi "ungakwenza kanjani ngempumelelo," ngalesi sikhathi. Kungenzeka.
Ukulalela okubandakanya ngempela
Njengomelaphi, umsebenzi wami uwodwa ukulalela, ukuba sesikhathini samanje, nokubamba isikhala somunye umuntu ukuze abelane, aveze futhi acubungule imicabango nemibuzo. Ukulalela, kodwa nokuzwa okushiwoyo, noma ukungashiwo ngaleyo ndaba. Ukusebenzela ukuxhasa iklayenti ekuxhumaniseni amachashazi, ekutholeni amaphethini, nasezimbangela, nasekusebenzeleni isixazululo esizizwa sitholakala futhi siphumelele. Umsebenzi wami hhayi ukutshela iklayenti lami ukuthi siyini isisombululo, noma sihlale, umlomo uqhaqhazela baze bayeke ukukhuluma, ukunikeza impendulo engicabanga ukuthi izwakala imnandi. Lokho futhi ngeke kusize kunoma ngubani! Ngilalele, ngiyezwa futhi ngiyabuka. Angikulindele ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sami, kepha kunalokho ngizwa amagama okutshala imali ekuxhumaneni.
Imibhangqwana emisha ingena ehhovisi lami, ikhuluma ngokukhulumisana okufunayo nemicabango yayo, futhi ingazizwa izwakala. Ukungazizwa njengalabo ababathandayo, abanobudlelwano nabo, noma abasebenzela kubo, ukubezwa noma ukuvuma abakushoyo nabakubuzayo. Kepha kunalokho balinde ithuba labo lokuphikisana, baphikise, baqondise kabusha, noma banikeze isisombululo. Mhlawumbe, mhlawumbe konke ofuna ukukwenza ukuphuma, uzizwe uzwakala futhi uqinisekisiwe ngemizwa nemizwelo onayo, ukwaziswa ngomqondo obeka engcupheni ukuwabelana ngawo, noma unikezwe isikweletu ngoba mhlawumbe mhlawumbe uyakwazi ngempela lokho abakhuluma ngakho.
Ukudalulwa okugcwele, ngalwa kanzima iminyaka eminingi ebusheni bami, ukuzizwa ngithembekile emicabangweni nasemibonweni yami lapho ngisesikoleni. Ngesikhathi ngikhuluma imininingwane yami ibingazwakali futhi ivunyelwe. Ukuthatha ubungozi ukubeka umbono noma ukuphendula umbuzo kwashintshwa ukuthi kubukwe futhi kuvunyelwane nabanye lapho nami bengingazizwa ngendlela efanayo. Ngikwenzile lokhu ebudlelwaneni, ngathola ukuthi ngilahlekile, ngazibuza ukuthi "kungani lokhu kungasebenzi." Eminyakeni edlule, ngafunda ukutshala imali emandleni okubuka futhi ukuvuma kwaphenduka kwaba yimibuzo, futhi imibuzo yaphenduka imibono.Ngifunde ukuthi ukulalela isenzo senhloso nokuxhuma, futhi ngisebenzela ukwehlisa ijubane kuzo zonke izingxenye zempilo yethu ukuze singazibheki thina kuphela, kodwa nabanye, futhi lokho abakushoyo ngempela kungabandakanya.
Nazi ezinye izinto okufanele uzibheke lapho ulalele othile-
1. Ngabe ngilalele ngaphezu kokuba ngikhuluma?
Yehlisa ijubane, yeka kokufanele ukusho, noma iphuzu okufanele ulithole. Kwesinye isikhathi ukukwazi ukuthula, ukuxhuma, nokuzwa okuthunyelwayo kusebenza ukwehlisa ukucabanga kwakho ukuze impendulo yakho ibe yilokho okwabiwayo empeleni, hhayi lokho ofuna kuzwakale nakho. Ngokukhuluma ngiyachaza, futhi ngokulalela, ngiyaxhuma.
2. Ukuqaphela kunamandla!
Ukulalela kumayelana nokuthula, kepha futhi kumayelana nesethulo esibukwayo, izimbangela zezemvelo, nokuthi ulimi lomzimba womunye umuntu lukutshelani ngalowo mzuzu ngesikhathi. Kumayelana nokuzibona futhi. Ngizizwa kanjani ngokomzimba, futhi yini imbangela yami.
3. Akukhona ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthola iphuzu lakho
Ukulalela akukhona mayelana nokugcina amaphuzu, hhayi ngokubheka imisebenzi, futhi impela akumele ukuthi wazi omunye umuntu kangakanani. Uma ulalele omunye ecabanga lezi zinto, ungahle uvale izindlebe zakho bese umamatheka. Elinye iqembu lizozuza kakhulu. Kepha empeleni uyakwamukela okushiwo ngumuntu, futhi usebenzela ukuxhuma kuzincazelo "ezingemuva kwesigcawu". Othile uyohlala azi ngaphezu kwakho, futhi lokho kulungile, kuhle impela, kepha ukulalela lokho umuntu akushoyo (ngamazwi nangokubukeka), kubaluleke kakhulu! Ukusebenzela ukungabi nohlu lokuhlola njalo emqondweni wakho noma kuhlu lomsebenzi ozama ukuludlulisa, kepha esikhundleni salokho ulalele ngenhloso, ngolwazi, nangokuxhumana nganoma iyiphi indlela okungaba yinzuzo.
Yini esizifundisa yona kanye nezingane zethu ngokulalela? Uma ngizithatha njengesibonelo, lapho izingane zami zikhuluma nami, ingabe ngiyama, ngizibuke emehlweni, futhi ngihlanganyele? Noma ngihamba, ukwenza imisebenzi eminingi, futhi ngiphendula noma ngiphawula ngezikhathi ezithile ngendlela engenangqondo embuzweni abawubuzile. Sifunda kusukela ebuncaneni ukuthi singalalela kanjani futhi sizibandakanye kanjani, ukuxhumana kanjani nokuthola iphuzu lethu. Indlela la makhono alingiswa ngayo noma amukelwa ngayo endaweni yethu yiyona eba ntofontofo futhi "ilungile," futhi nayo ingasebenza ukuthinta ubudlelwano nokuxhumana ngaphandle kokwazi ukuthi kungani. Ukulalela kuyikhono lempilo, ilungelo lokuthi uzwakale futhi uxhumeke kulo, futhi kuthatha isikhathi ukuyeka, ukubheka umuntu emehlweni, futhi uxhume ngempela kulokho okushiwoyo. Imayelana nokubamba isikhala sokuthola ulwazi, ukunikela ukuqonda, noma ukumema iseshini enhle yokuphuma. Okungeyona, ithuba lokuzwakala ngaphandle kokunikeza omunye ithuba elilinganayo.