-Delile
- Ingabe ukushada nomuntu oyedwa kuyingozi empilweni yobulili obuhle?
- Ubudlelwano besikhathi eside nempilo eshisayo yocansi
- Kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi kumayelana nomongo
- Ngabe unesikhathi esanele sempilo yocansi?
- Amaphuzu ama-4 kwangu-13 avela kuhlu lwemibhangqwana enokuphila okuhle kobulili yile:
Cha, impilo yakho yezocansi ngeke ife ngoba nje kade nindawonye kodwa enye into ingavele iyibulale.
Ingabe ukushada nomuntu oyedwa kuyingozi empilweni yobulili obuhle?
Esinye sezimangalo engihlangana naso kaningi kule minyaka ukuthi ukuthi umuntu oyedwa abe yingozi empilweni yobulili obuhle.
Isimangalo ukuthi umfazi oyedwa ubulala inkanuko. Ngakho-ke uma usebudlelwaneni bomuntu oyedwa, impilo yakho yezocansi iyoba yimbi ngokwemvelo njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka nesifiso sakho komunye nomunye sizokwehla futhi ekugcineni, inkanuko ibe ngumlando.
Yilokho abakushoyo.
Impikiswano ngokuyisisekelo ukuthi asidalulwanga ngokwendalo ukuba sibe nomlingani oyedwa kuphela.
Lapho imizwa yokuqala "yothando" isiphelile futhi nobabili nizizwa niphephe kakhulu, kunendlela eyodwa kuphela yokuphila kobulili okufanele iqhubekele phambili futhi lokho kuphansi.
Impikiswano ukuthi lapho ubungani buqina futhi kunokuningi ukuphepha nokuvikeleka phakathi kwenu nobabili, i-oxytocin hormone iyadedelwa, futhi lapho lokho kwenzeka sengathi kungohlobo oluthile lomcimbi olwenzeka kanye futhi olungenakuhlehliswa, kuba nzima ukuzizwa uvusa inkanuko futhi unenkanuko kumlingani wakho.
Kodwa-ke, uma lokho kuyiqiniso, kungani kunenqwaba yabantu abasebenza kahle, abashadayo besikhathi eside abathi banempilo emnandi futhi eyenelisayo yocansi?
Imibhangqwana evulelwe omunye nomunye, isathola ukuheha ngokocansi yize inezingane ezincane, ukungaboni ngaso linye, ingcindezi, ukwehla nokwehla; uyazi, izinto wonke umuntu adlula kuzo.
Ngikuthola kuthakazelisa kakhulu lokho.
Ubudlelwano besikhathi eside nempilo eshisayo yocansi
Uma umbono wokuthi “ubungani, ukusondelana nokuphepha kuchitha impilo yezocansi” uqinisile, pho kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi le mibhangqwana ibe nobudlelwano obuhle nobuphephile kanye nokuphila kocansi okuhle nokukhohlisayo?
Akumina ngedwa obelokhu ethanda ukwazi ngalokhu.
Phakathi kwabanye, uNorthrup, uSchwartz noWitte benze isifundo nababambiqhaza abangaphezu kwama-70,000 abavela emazweni ahlukene angama-24. Lolu cwaningo lwenzelwe ukuthola umehluko wangempela phakathi kwezithandani ezazinempilo emnandi yezocansi kanye nalabo ababenenkani.
Imiphumela yayijabulisa kakhulu. Bathole ukufana okuyi-13 phakathi kwale mibhangqwana ethi banempilo emnandi yezocansi. Lokhu bekungakhathalekile iminyaka, izwe, isimo senhlalo njll.
Ngaphezu kwama-50% ala maphuzu yimisebenzi, esiyaziyo ukuthi ikhipha i-oxytocin. I-Oxytocin ikhuthaza ubungani nokusondelana. Enye yezinto lezi zithandani ezazizenza kwakuwukubhekelana komunye nomunye ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba. Nsuku zonke. Ngikuthola kuthakazelisa kakhulu lokhu njengoba kungavumelani ngokuphelele nalokho othambekele ukukuzwa; ukuthi lapho ubudlelwane besikhathi eside buvikeleka kakhulu, impilo yezocansi iyafa.
Kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi kumayelana nomongo
Imayelana nesikhala ozenzele sona lapho ungaphila impilo yezocansi esebenza kahle. U-Emily Nagoski ukhuluma ngalokhu encwadini yakhe entsha: "Woza njengoba unjalo - isayensi entsha emangazayo ezoguqula impilo yakho yezocansi."
Ngabe unesikhathi esanele sempilo yocansi?
Akukhulunywa ngempilo yocansi eyodwa yomuntu uqobo; akukhona lokho okubulala into evusa inkanuko.
Cha cha, yindlela esivame ukuphatha impilo yethu yezocansi ebudlelwaneni bokuthandana nomuntu oyedwa. Yilokho okubulalayo.
Amaphuzu ama-4 kwangu-13 avela kuhlu lwemibhangqwana enokuphila okuhle kobulili yile:
- Baqabulane ngothando ngaphandle kwesizathu
- Babeka phambili impilo yabo yezocansi futhi akuyona phansi kohlu lwezinto okufanele zenziwe
- Bakhuluma ngokukhululeka ngempilo yabo yezocansi noma bafunde ukuthi bangenza kanjani
- Bayazi ukuthi yini evula / vala umlingani wabo ngendlela evusa inkanuko
Kuyathakazelisa, akunjalo?
Noma singadlula esidlule ocwaningweni nasezifundweni esezenziwe bese sigxumela emtholampilo wami uqobo, engihlala ngibhekana nakho ukuthi izithandani ezifuna ukubuyisa impilo yazo yezocansi zihlale zifuna into efanayo: isikhathi esithe xaxa ndawonye.
Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi isikhathi esithe xaxa ndawonye sivame ukudala ukuthandana okwengeziwe futhi lokho kulingana ubulili obuningi.
Angisazibali ukuthi ngiwuzwile kangaki lo musho: “Ukube nje besinesikhathi esithe xaxa sobabili sindawonye, lokho bekungathuthukisa impilo yethu yezocansi futhi besizothandana kakhulu.”
Futhi lapho ngibasiza ukubeka phambili lesi sikhathi ndawonye, baqinisile; impilo yabo yocansi iyathuthuka.
Bahlale bekwazi ngokwemvelo ukuthi uma belandela ukulangazelela kwabo isikhathi sekhwalithi eyengeziwe ndawonye - isikhathi sokuxhuma ngokomzwelo - lokho-ke lokho kungadala ucansi oluthe xaxa futhi olungcono. Abazange nje balalele kepha esikhundleni salokho bakhetha ukwamukela inkoleloze yokuthi ubudlelwano besikhathi eside buhlala bugcina ngokubulala impilo yezocansi.
Ngikuthola kuthakazelisa kakhulu lokhu futhi kumnandi impela. Futhi mhlawumbe nawe uzokuthola kuyakhuthaza. Lokhu kusho ukuthi nguwe onamandla okwenza impilo emnandi yezocansi - imvelo impela ayikonakalisi yona.
Ithiphu kaMaj: Ungaba ebudlelwaneni bokuthandana nomuntu oyedwa futhi ube nempilo eshisayo yocansi.