-Delile
- Izizathu zokuthi kungani lo mbhangqwana ufuna ukuhlukana
- Nayi eminye imibuzo ewusizo ongazibuza yona:
- Ingabe ukwehlukana kuwusizo emshadweni?
Ukwehlukana can ube mkhulu emshadweni ngoba ususa ingcindezi ohlelweni futhi wakhe isikhala somzimba, esingasiza kakhulu ekusekeleni ukucabanga komuntu siqu nokuthatha izinqumo okucacile.
Lokhu kunengqondo ngokwesayensi, njengoba kufakazelwe ukuthi ama-IQ ethu empeleni ehla lapho sicindezelekile. Ngakho-ke, uma umuntu oyedwa noma bobabili bebhekene nengcindezi engapheli iminyaka, kulula ukubona ukuthi ukwahlukana okwesikhashana kungenzeka lula ukucaca kwengqondo.
Ngifuna ukugcizelela ukuthi noma ngabe kube nezimo eziningi lapho ukwehlukana empeleni kuye kwajulisa futhi kwaqinisa isibopho somshado, kube nezimo lapho ukwehlukana kuye kwabangela ukungqubuzana okwengeziwe, ukukhathazeka, intukuthelo, nokungakhululeki.
Isibonelo, emibhangqwaneni lapho kube khona ukungathembeki noma uma omunye wabo bobabili abathandanayo benomuzwa wokungathembani noma umhawu owedlulele, ukwahlukana kungangezela umlilo emlilweni osuvele uvutha ngokushesha. Futhi, lokhu kungukubukwa okujwayelekile, futhi kuyindaba ngayinye yezithandani. (Njengoba eminye imibhangqwana enomlando wokungathembeki yenze kahle ngesikhathi sokuhlukana).
Izizathu zokuthi kungani lo mbhangqwana ufuna ukuhlukana
Ukuzinika isikhathi sokubonisa ngobuqotho nokuxhumana nalokho umlingani ngamunye akufunayo ngempela kubalulekile. Ngifuna ukwenza umehluko lapha phakathi kokucabanga nokuhleba.
Uma ngithi ngiyakhombisa, angikhulumi ngokwakha uhlu lochwepheshe noma lokuphindaphinda kaninginingi, "izingqondo" ezingapheli zokunganaki izithandani eziningi ezibambeka kuzo. Ngikhuluma kakhulu ngamandla akhombisa wonke umuntu ukuqonda.
Lapho imibhangqwana ibambeka kumjikelezo wokuhleba, akusizi nje kuphela, kepha kuvimbela ukuvela kobudlelwano. Lokhu kwenzeka lapho umuntu ngamunye ebambeke kakhulu emicabangweni yakhe ejwayelekile ngomlingani wakhe nomshado, ukuthi kukhona indawo encane yomcabango omusha noma isixazululo sokuqhamuka. Ukuveza kweklayenti ukuthi ukubambeka kule modi kufana nokuba kumdlalo we-ping-pong, lapho ngolunye usuku bezizwa sengathi bayamthanda lo muntu futhi bafuna ukuwenza usebenze, bese kuthi ngokuzayo babe nomuzwa wokuthi abakwazi ukumelana naye.
Ngakho-ke, isinyathelo sokuqala ukuhlola ngokukhombisa ukuthi ukuphi ngempela. Imvamisa, omunye umlingani unesifiso esinamandla sokufuna ukuhlukanisa noma ukuhlukanisa kunomunye. Ngakho-ke, uma omunye wabalingani evele esenqumile ukuthi "isikhathi sesihambile, akafuni ukuzama ukwenza umshado usebenze", ukwehlukana akunakwenzeka ukuthi kube lusizo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma umuzwa ojwayelekile wabo bobabili abalingani uthi "Angazi noma ngifuna ukuhlala ndawonye" noma "Ngifuna ukuzama konke ukwenza lo msebenzi", ukwahlukana kungaba yithuluzi eliwusizo ekuhloleni ikusasa lobudlelwano.
Nayi eminye imibuzo ewusizo ongazibuza yona:
1. Yini izizathu zakho zokufuna ukwehlukana?
2. Yiziphi izizathu zakho zokufuna ukuhlala kulo mshado futhi uwenze usebenze?
3. Ngabe izizathu zakho zokufuna ukugcina umshado uqhubeka zihlangene nomlingani wakho?
Uma izizathu zakho zokuhlala emshadweni kungenxa yezingane, ngoba ukhathazekile ngalokho abanye abantu abakucabangayo, noma isibopho sokuziphatha, ukuthatha isikhala ukucabanga ngezidingo zakho kanye nezinto ozifunayo kungaba lusizo impela.
Kunengcindezi enkulu yamasiko nemibono efakwa ekubalulekeni kokuhlala ndawonye endlini eyodwa ngenxa yezingane, ngenxa yedumela, njll.
Into eyodwa engasiza kakhulu lapho uqala ukubona oshade naye eba nemizwa ethile mayelana nokusikisela okuthile njengokuhlukana, ukuthi “Kulungile. Kungani singabuyeli kulokho kamuva? ” Imvamisa, lapho oshade naye esesimweni somqondo esihlukile, uzobheka izinketho ezahlukahlukene.
Ingabe ukwehlukana kuwusizo emshadweni?
Kuya ngesimo. Isithiyo esikhulu engisibonayo ukuthi abantu bavumele umuzwa wabo wokuphuthuma kanye nengcindezi engokomzwelo idunule ukucabanga kwabo nezenzo zabo, esikhundleni sokulinda kuze kube yilapho yena esecacile ukuthi angaya kanjani phambili. Yonke imizwa iyadlula, ngisho naleyo engakhululekile.
Kwesinye isikhathi inqubo yokuthola ukuqonda noma ukucaciseleka ukuthi yisiphi isenzo okufanele usithathe emshadweni wakho ithatha isikhathi eside kunaleso abantu abasifunayo, kepha kufanelekile ukuthi kwenziwe uphenyo bese ulinda.
Kukholwe noma ungakukholwa, amandla womuntu wokuqina aqhamuka ngezindlela ezimangazayo ngisho nasezimeni ezinzima njengokuhlukana nesehlukaniso. Ilungu ngalinye lomndeni, kufaka phakathi izingane, umcabango owodwa kuphela kude nesisombululo sokudala, esisebenzayo futhi noma ngabe yini, wonke umuntu unamandla okuthola amandla abo okuzimela.