-Delile
- 1. Utshwala
- 2. Yiba ovuthiwe ngokomzwelo, uma kuqhathaniswa nokungavuthwa ngokomzwelo
- 3. Bayizibonelo ezihambayo zozwela nozwelo
- 4. Silahla isidingo sokulungisa wonke umuntu
Kusho ukuthini kuwe ukuba ngubaba omkhulu ngempela empilweni? Yiziphi izindlela zokuba ubaba ongcono?
Ubani obheka kuye njengesibonelo, ongabeka lo muntu njengo “baba ovelele”?
Wake waqaphela ukuthi izinga lobaba ezweni lethu lehle kakhulu kule minyaka engama-25 edlule?
Eminyakeni engama-30 eyedlule, umbhali, umeluleki, u-Life Coach no-Minister ongu-master omkhulu besiza abesilisa ukuba babe obaba nabesifazane abangcono ukuze baqale ukufuna imikhuba abanye besilisa abanayo ezobe isivele ithi bazoba ubaba omkhulu wezingane zabo.
Ngezansi, uDavid wabelana ngemicabango yakhe ngalokho okudingekayo ukuze ube ngubaba omkhulu ezweni lethu namuhla, nezindlela ezine eziphumelelayo zokuba ngubaba ongcono.
Ngiyaziqhenya ngokusho ukuthi ngangino baba omkhulu empilweni. Ubexhumene nonkosikazi wakhe nezingane zakhe, wenza isikhathi ngathi, yebo ubengqongqo kodwa engazikhukhumezi futhi isifiso sakhe bekungukuthi izingane zakhe zikhule ngokuziphatha nokuziphatha.
Namuhla, ngithwala kanzima ukuthola obaba abaningi abanalezi zimfanelo ezinhle, noma izimfanelo ezinhle.
Eminyakeni engama-30 edlule, ngibonile ukwehla kwesibalo samadoda aze azihlole, maqondana namakhono obaba.
Kubukeka ngathi, ukuthi sesizicabangela thina ngokwethu, singabi nozwelo futhi sibe nozwelo kwabanye lapho omkethu nezingane zethu bathatha khona ngokushesha.
Ngiyazi ukuthi amanye amadoda awazibheki nokuzibheka njengezibonelo, aze angitshele nokuthi awafuni ukuba yisibonelo ezinganeni zabo noma komkabo okungenzeka ukuthi kungesinye sezikhulu zamaphoyisa asebenzayo.
Uma unezingane, uma unesifiso sokwenza umehluko kulo mhlaba, kungcono ukholwe ukuthi uyisibonelo esibaluleke kunazo zonke abangaze bazibone baze bashiye ikhaya lakho.
Ngakho-ke ake sibheke izinkinobho ezi-4 ezibaluleke kakhulu ukushintsha, ukushintsha, noma ukususa uma ufuna ukuba ngophambili ubaba kungenzeka ezinganeni zakho nakumlingani wakho.
Izinyathelo ezi-4 zokuba ubaba ongcono
1. Utshwala
Konakalisa amathuba amaningi kakhulu endoda yokuba ngubaba wangempela.
Uma uphuza njalo, noma uphuza iziphuzo ezingaphezu kwezingu-2 kuye kwezingu-3 nsuku zonke, awunazisekelo ezingokomzwelo ezinganeni zakho.
Uma uphuza futhi kuguqula ubukhona bakho nganoma iyiphi indlela, okwenzela wonke umuntu, ukhombisa izingane zakho ukuthi unentshisekelo kakhulu ekuluthekeni kwakho, bese ubakhona.
Futhi angilwi nophuzo oludakayo, angilwi notshwala.
Futhi lokho kusho ukuthini, uma ufuna ukuba nengilazi yewayini ngesidlo sakusihlwa, ama-ounces ama-4, zijabulise kepha ume lapho.
Uma ufuna ukuphuza ubhiya ngoMgqibelo ntambama, zijabulise kodwa ume lapho.
Ungaphuza, isiphuzo esisodwa, futhi ube usuxhumene nezingane zakho ngokomzwelo kepha ngaphezu kwalokho engingakutshela ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwami akusebenzi.
Nganginesibopho ngonyaka we-1980 sokuba ngubaba kumfana omncane, futhi ngaleso sikhathi ngangiphuza njalo. Ukube ubungangibuza ukuthi ngingumuntu olungile yini kubaba wakhe ngabe ngathi “Isihogo yebo! Nginakile, ngiyatholakala, futhi ngiyalikhathalela ikusasa lakhe. ”
Iqiniso kuphela esitatimendeni sami sokugcina ukuthi ngangikhathalela ikusasa lakhe. Kodwa ngangingekho.
Akekho lapho baphuza khona. Futhi leso yisifundo obekufanele ngisifunde ngisemncane, ukuze izingane ezimbalwa ezilandelayo engikwazile ukuzikhulisa, zibe nohlobo lukababa ohluke ngokuphelele engingabheka kuye.
Kwakudingeka ngikhule futhi ngiphendule umbuzo, ukuthi ngingaba kanjani ubaba omuhle.
2. Yiba ovuthiwe ngokomzwelo, uma kuqhathaniswa nokungavuthwa ngokomzwelo
Manje lokhu kuyathakazelisa. Uma ungabuza obaba namuhla, cishe bonke obaba bangasho ukuthi bakhulile ngokomzwelo. Kepha lawo ngamanga amakhulu anonile.
Uma usuvuthiwe emoyeni, awungeni ezingxabanweni ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, awuthumeli ama-tweets alulazayo kuTwitter, ngamanye amazwi awulandeli umuntu oseWhite House ngoba indlela enza ngayo, lokho obaba abaningi benza ngaleyo ndlela, kunokungavuthwa okweqile.
Kubizwa ngokuba yisiqhwaga. Kubizwa ngokuzicabangela wena wedwa. Kubizwa ngokungavuthwa ngokweqile.
Uma uzungeze itafula lesidlo sakusihlwa, noma emotweni, anginandaba ukuthi ukhuluma nomkakho noma umngani wakho omkhulu, uma izingane zakho ziseduze futhi ukhuluma okungavuthiwe ngabanye abantu, mhlawumbe ungomunye abantu abayizibonelo ezimbi kakhulu abangaba nazo.
Indoda yangempela, ubaba wangempela ubengeke azitholele izingane zakhe kumbhedo oqhubeka nobaba abaningi kangaka emphakathini namuhla.
Lapho ngibona amadoda elingisa abanye abantu abadala abadicilela phansi abantu ngamazwi noma noma ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, ngivele nginqekuzise ikhanda nginethemba lokuthi ngelinye ilanga bayovuka.
Ngenxa yezingane zabo, ngiyethemba bayaphaphama babe ngamadoda angempela empilweni.
3. Bayizibonelo ezihambayo zozwela nozwelo
Ubaba omkhulu impela, angazwela emvelweni, futhi angakhombisa izingane zakhe uzwelo nesihawu ngesilwane esilimele, umuntu ongenakhaya, kanye nabanye abantu abasokolayo empilweni.
Ukuba nozwelo nozwela nakho kuzofinyelela hhayi emndenini wakho kuphela, kepha nasendaweni yakini, esifundazweni sakho, ezweni lakini okuzofaka nabantu abangaba nobulili obuhlukile kunawe, umbala wesikhumba ohlukile, neholo elehlukile .
Ubaba wangempela, indoda yangempela izoba nozwela nobubele phambi kwezingane zabo kuwo wonke umuntu onenkinga empilweni.
4. Silahla isidingo sokulungisa wonke umuntu
Lokhu kukhulu kakhulu. Ezizukulwaneni, emakhulwini eminyaka, amadoda atshelwe futhi akhuthazwa ukuthi abe nezimpendulo kunoma ngubani obhekene nesikhathi esinzima empilweni.
Noma ngalokho, amadoda atshelwe ukuthi anikeze umbono wawo futhi alungise abantu noma ngabe abadingi ukulungiswa.
Nguwe lo? Ngabe uyameluleka umkakho maqondana nanoma yini empilweni, noma engakaze abuzwe iseluleko sakho?
Obaba bangempela, amadoda angempela awazimisele ukulungisa wonke umuntu, kepha balapha ukuzoqondisa, ukuxhasa nokukhuthaza izingane zabo kanye nabalingani babo ukufeza izinhloso zabo ezibaluleke kakhulu empilweni.
Nguwe lo?
Uma ufunda lokhu futhi kuyakucasula, kungenzeka ukuthi kusho ukuthi unomsebenzi omncane kakhulu ongawenza wokuba ubaba omkhulu.
Uma uzihlola, futhi ubheka la maphuzu amane ezinhlamvu bese uyabona ukuthi amathathu awo akhishwe epaki kodwa eyodwa olwa nayo, thola usizo ngalowo olwa naye.
Umqondo kula maphuzu awunakuphikiswa, futhi isixazululo ukuba ngubaba wangempela, indoda yangempela, ezimisele ukuzibuka esibukweni futhi ivume amaphutha abo njengoba ngenzile ngenhla, bese ngithola usizo lokuwashintsha.
Ikusasa lezingane zakho, lisezandleni zakho. Baphathe kahle.
Umsebenzi kaDavid Essel uvunyiwe kakhulu ngabantu abanjengoWayne Dyer ongasekho, futhi usaziwayo uJenny Mccarthy uthi "UDavid Essel ungumholi omusha wenhlangano ecabangayo."
UMarriage.com uqinisekise uDavid njengomunye wabeluleki bezobudlelwano abaphezulu kanye nochwepheshe emhlabeni.