-Delile
- Yeka ukuphusha ukulungisa izinkinga zokusondelana emshadweni wakho
- Dedela ukungazethembi kwakho
- Ungavumeli umona ukunqobe
- Ungazinqoba kanjani izindaba zokusondelana
Ngabe izinkinga zokusondelana emshadweni zidla ubudlelwano bakho nenjabulo?
Hlangana noMary. UMary ubeshade ngenjabulo nomyeni wakhe wesibili iminyaka engu-4, futhi ukhulisa izingane ezimbili emshadweni wakhe wangaphambili.
Umshado kaMary wokuqala wehluleka kabuhlungu. Yena nomlingani wakhe babengahambelani, kepha akusona leso sizathu kuphela. Esikhundleni sokujabulela impilo yasekolishi, wakhetha ukushada eneminyaka engu-18. Iphutha elikhulu. Futhi-ke, umshado wakhe wokuqala wamfundisa izifundo ezibalulekile zokuthi ungaphila kanjani ebudlelwaneni nokuthi ungazilungisa kanjani izinkinga zokusondelana komshado kunokuba uzibalekele.
Nakhu akufundile ngokunqoba izinkinga zokusondelana emshadweni
Yeka ukuphusha ukulungisa izinkinga zokusondelana emshadweni wakho
Ngesikhathi kuzalwa izingane zikaMary, ubuhlobo bakhe bashintsha ngokuphelele.
Ngomntwana osanda kuzalwa okufanele anakekele, kungokwemvelo ukuthi umbhangqwana uchithe isikhathi esincane ndawonye. Kepha kuye, ukusondelana kwakucishe kungabikho.
Eminyakeni embalwa kamuva, wabona ukuthambekela kwendawo yonke phakathi kwamadoda. Bacindezele ukuthi benze okuthile futhi bazokwenza okuphambene nalokho (... yize, ngokusho kukaMary, lokhu kungasebenza nakwabesifazane).
Njengoba wayengaziqondi izinkinga zakhe noma ukuthi angabhekana kanjani nazo, waba yisihluku.
Ubehlala ebelesela ngokunganakwa, ebuza umlingani wakhe ukuthi akathandeki yini kuye, aze amsole nangokukopela. Azikho kulezi zinkinga ezaziyiqiniso, kepha kwakuwukuphela kwendlela ayekwazi ngayo ukukhulula ukukhathazeka kwakhe futhi aqiniseke ukuthi basasebenza kahle. Wayefuna ukuqinisekiswa.
Yebo, wayeneminyaka engu-18 futhi enezinkinga zezinkinga zokusondelana zomshado ezithinta ukuthula kwakhe kwengqondo nenjabulo yomshado.
Futhi-ke, kumthathe eminye iminyaka eyishumi ukuthi abone ukuthi empeleni ubenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu. Manje uyazi ukuthi ukuqonda nokubekezela kwenza isinyathelo sokuqala sokulungisa izinkinga zokusondelana emshadweni.
Dedela ukungazethembi kwakho
Uma ngabe ukhathazekile ngokuhamba ze phambi komlingani wakho, joyina iklabhu.
Ukwesaba ngamaphutha omzimba afana ne-cellulite, izibazi, izimvukuzane, amabala noma imithambo ebonakalayo, ama-stretch mark akuwona amaphutha, kepha njengoba abantu bekhathazeke kakhulu ngemifanekiso ye-airbrushed, imizimba ebukeka kahle, lo mbono uholela ezinkingeni ezinkulu zobudlelwano bomshado phakathi kwezithandani.
Kuvamile ngabesifazane (ngisho nabesilisa!) Ukuzizwa bengavikelekile lapho bekhumula lapho kukhona abalingani babo. Okubi kakhulu ukuthi akuzona izingubo zakho ezikubambezelayo; ukwesaba kwakho okukuvimba ekutholeni ukuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo noshade naye. Ngemuva kwakho konke, uma ungakwazi ukuvula, ingabe ukulungele ngempela ukusondelana?
Ukuntuleka kokusondelana emshadweni kubangelwa yilokhu kwesaba okungenasisekelo mayelana namaphutha omzimba okungewona amaphutha adinga ukulungiswa, okokuqala.
Lokho uMary akubona emshadweni wakhe wangaphambilini ukuthi abesilisa abanandaba neziqongo ze-muffin, isikhumba esi-saggy noma okunye ukungapheleli.
Ukusondelana phakathi kwabantu ababili kudlula izindonga ezingajulile zokubukeka kwakho. Ukwamukela lokhu kuhlakanipha kukodwa kungabulala iningi lezinkinga zokusondelana emshadweni.
Cabanga ngomugqa odumile kaJulia Roberts ku-Eat Pray Love: “Wake waba nqunu phambi komuntu waze wakucela ukuthi uhambe?” Akunakwenzeka. Ukungazethembi kungenza umonakalo omkhulu kunokuba ucabanga. Kungadala izingqinamba zokusondelana ezifana nentukuthelo, izingqinamba zokwethembana nokunganeliseki okuphelele ngobudlelwano bakho. Akukho ukusondelana emshadweni okwenza buthakathaka isibopho esiqinisa umshado.
Liyini ikhambi?
Zemukele ukuthi ungubani - impilo ibaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ungayichitha ukhathazeka ngokuthi ubukeka kanjani. Mhlawumbe kulula ukushiwo kunokukwenza, kepha umgomo ofanele ukulwela.
Ungavumeli umona ukunqobe
Phakathi neminyaka emibili yokuqala yomshado wakhe uMary wayedliwa ngumona futhi lokho kwaholela ekubulaweni kwezinkinga zokusondelana komshado.
Kuze kwafika ezingeni lapho engazange akhulume khona nowayengumyeni wakhe izinsuku eziningi uma ebheka ohlangothini lwenye intombazane. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lo muzwa womona waba ongalawuleki futhi wathinta zonke izingxenye zobudlelwano bakhe. Kwakungubudlelwano ngaphandle kokusondelana. Akukho ukusondelana emiphumeleni yomshado kwakukubi. Ngokushesha imiphumela yokungabi bikho kobudlelwano ebudlelwaneni iholele ekungafani okungaxazululeki, lapho ukubuyisela ukusondelana emshadweni kubonakala kungasasebenzi.
Abazange babelane ngezikhathi eziningi zokusondelana, ukungabi bikho kobuhlobo obungenile futhi ngenxa yalokho, bahlukana, nezinkinga zobudlelwano bomshado zathola indawo evelele ezimpilweni zabo.
Ushintsho kuMary kwaba ingxoxo abe nayo nodadewabo owadlula entweni efanayo. ”Kuyohlale kunomuntu omuhle ngokwedlulele, ohlakaniphe ngokwengeziwe futhi ithandeke kakhulu kunawe.
Ngakho kungani uchitha isikhathi sakho ucabanga ngakho? ” Wayeqinisile impela.
Ukusondelana emshadweni akukhona ngokubukeka kwakho noma ngokwenzeka phakathi kwamashidi. Ukusondelana emshadweni kumayelana nokuzwana, kubheke ngaphesheya kokungapheleli kokunye okuphawulekayo futhi ekugcineni, ukwazana ezingeni elijulile. Umshado ongenakho ukusondelana uphenduka ubuthaka, nezinkinga zokusondelana zithathe indawo yothando nothando emshadweni.
Ungazinqoba kanjani izindaba zokusondelana
Izinkinga zokusondelana emshadweni zifaka ukushayela ucansi okungafanele, ukunganeliseki, ukungakhululeki ngesikhathi socansi noma izinkinga zokusondelana eziqhubekayo ngenxa yesikhathi esedlule ukwesaba ukuhlukunyezwa noma ukushiywa, noma ebuntwaneni obuhlukumezekile - konke noma yiziphi zalezi zimo zenza kube nzima kumuntu ukwakha ukusondelana nomlingani wakhe.
Ukuphendula lo mbuzo, ukuthi ungazilungisa kanjani izinkinga zokusondelana emshadweni, kubalulekile ukuthi wazi izimpawu zezinkinga zokusondelana emshadweni wakho noma ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Uma unkosikazi wakho ekugwema ukusondelana, noma kungekho ukusondelana emshadweni okuvela endodeni, thola ukuthi kuningi kangakanani ongakufunda ngomuntu ochitha impilo yakho naye, futhi maduzane uzothola ukuthi umona, ukuphusha nokungavikeleki akunakho beka ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, obuseduze.
Ukulandela lawa macebiso okuthi ungabuyisa kanjani ukusondelana emshadweni futhi ufune udokotela onguchwepheshe kungakusiza ekunqobeni ukwesaba ukusondelana nokubuyisa injabulo yomshado.