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-Delile
- Bamba ingxoxo yakho endaweni ezolile
- Sebenzisa amakhono okulalela asebenzayo
- Gcina izinto zihle futhi uqhubekele phambili
- Amandla wokuthinta
- Khombisa oshade naye ukuthi ufuna ukuqonda umbono wabo
- Zimisele ukushintsha umbono wakho
- Hlonipha oshade naye ngokusebenzisa izitatimende "Mina"
- Ukunciphisa ukuxhumana okusebenzayo
- Phefumulela phezulu
- Yenza ihlaya
- Qeda ngokugona
- Ukudla okudlela endlini
Buza abashadikazi abajabulayo ukuthi yini abacabanga ukuthi iyisihluthulelo sokugcina ubudlelwane babo bukhanya futhi bumnandi, futhi “amakhono amahle okukhulumisana” azobe ephezulu ohlwini lwabo, kanye nokuhloniphana, ukubabazeka, futhi-ke, ucansi olumangalisayo.
Ukukhulumisana okuphumelelayo noma ukuxhumana ngenhlonipho noshade naye akuhlali kuzalwa ngaso sonke isikhathi, noma kunjalo. Asizalwa sazi ukuthi singabelana kanjani ngemicabango nemizwa yethu ngendlela ebushelelezi nenenhlonipho nabalingani bethu.
Labo bethu ababa nenhlanhla yokubona abazali bethu bezitika ngabo ukuxhumana okunenhlonipho ebudlelwaneni qala ikhanda lokuthi lokhu kusebenza kanjani.
Kepha kwabaningi abangakhulelanga emakhaya lapho abazali bebengakhulumi ngenhlonipho nangempumelelo, kubalulekile ukuthi bafunde izindlela ezizuzisayo nezigxile ekuxhumaneni nabalingani bethu, ikakhulukazi lapho uzulazula ezindabeni ezibucayi kodwa ezibalulekile ekwakheni ubudlelwano futhi isondlo.
Ukuxhumana okuhle kwakhelwe esisekelweni senhlonipho.
Cabanga ngabantu obaziyo abangakwazi ukuxhumana kahle noma abangazi ukuthi bangaxhumana kanjani emshadweni.
Bayamemeza, baphikisane nephuzu labo ngokungapheli, babuse inkhulumomphendvulwano, futhi ungalokothi uvumele omunye umuntu athole izwi ngokunqenqemeni. Ngamafuphi, abakhulumisana abampofu abenzi ukuxhumana okunenhlonipho.
Basakaza umyalezo wabo ngamandla kangangokuthi umlaleli uzwa nje ukuthi, “Angikuhloniphi ngokwanele ukuthi ngikhulume nawe ngomoya ophansi, futhi okumemayo.”
Lokhu kuyaphambana nokwakha ukuxhumana okunengqondo nomlingani. Yiziphi ezinye izindlela ongamisa ngazo ukuxhumana kwakho okukhombisa ukuthi uyamhlonipha futhi uyamhlonipha oshade naye?
Bamba ingxoxo yakho endaweni ezolile
Ukungena odabeni olushisayo umzuzu lapho oshade naye engena ngomnyango wangaphambili ngemuva kosuku olude lomsebenzi kuyindlela yomlilo yokuzihlukanisa nokuzibeka ekuzivikeleni.
Enye yezinto ezibalulekile izindlela zoku ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana emshadweni futhi ukuhlonipha oshade naye ukuhlela izingxoxo zakho ezibalulekile zobudlelwano isikhathi lapho nizokwazi ukunaka futhi nigxile komunye nomunye.
Kungenzeka ngemuva kokuthi izingane zilele noma ngoMgqibelo ntambama lapho yonke imisebenzi yakho isiphelile. Qiniseka ukuthi iziphazamiso ziphansi, futhi nobabili ningatshala imali engxoxweni.
Sebenzisa amakhono okulalela asebenzayo
Elinye icebo lokuxhumana kangcono nowakwakho ukuthi nobabili nibe khona engxoxweni. Awufuni ukulalela uhhafu ngenkathi ucabanga ngokomqondo ohlwini lwakho lwezinto okufanele uzenze noma uhlele lokho ofuna ukukusho ngenkathi oshade naye ekhuluma.
Ukulalela ngenkuthalo kungenye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokuxhumana noshade naye. Kukhombisa oshade naye ukuthi ubambe iqhaza ngokuphelele okwamanje futhi uzwe ukuthi babelana ngani nawe.
Uma umlingani wakho ekutshela ukuthi uzizwa engasekelwa ngoba usebenza kakhulu, ungasho into enjengokuthi, "Kuzwakala sengathi ukhungathekile ukuthi kumele uzithwale zonke izibopho zasekhaya."
Lapho oshade naye evuma ukuthi yilokho abakushoyo, indlela enhle, esebenzayo yokulandelela ukulalela kwakho ukubuza umbuzo ovulekile: "Yini engingayenza ukusisiza ukuthola isisombululo kulokhu?"
Gcina izinto zihle futhi uqhubekele phambili
Uzibuza ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani ngempumelelo noshade naye?
Qiniseka ukuthi akukho ukubizana ngamagama, ukuthukwa, noma ukuletha uhlu lwazo zonke izinto ezimbi ezenziwe umlingani wakho phakathi kobudlelwano bakho. Yileyo ndlela imibhangqwana engenampilo elwa ngayo, futhi ayikaze iholele esinqumweni esifanele.
Uma uthola ukuthi ingxoxo yakho iya ishuba, ungahle uthande ukuphakamisa — ngezwi elipholile– ukuthatha ikhefu uphinde uvakashele izingqinamba uma izinto sezithule.
Khumbuza oshade naye ukuthi inhloso yokuxhumana ukuletha ukusondelana, hhayi ukukuhlukanisa.
Bheka ukuthi uFawn Weaver, umbhali othengisa kakhulu we-Happy Wives Club uthini ngomshado wamahhala wengxabano:
Amandla wokuthinta
Ukukhulumisana okunenhlonipho kuhilela ukuxhumana ngengqondo. Kepha bewazi ukuthi uma uthinta oshade naye ngenkathi ukhuluma – engalweni, noma ngokubamba isandla sabo — kuzobasiza bazizwe bexhumeke kakhulu kuwe?
Ukuthinta nakho kuyaduduza futhi kukhumbuza oshade naye ukuthi noma ngabe uxoxa ngento eyinselele, usabathanda futhi ufuna ukusondela kubo.
Khombisa oshade naye ukuthi ufuna ukuqonda umbono wabo
Imibhangqwana enamakhono amahle kakhulu okuxhumana incike kulokhu ukugcina ingxoxo iqhubekela phambili. Esikhundleni sokuzama ukuphoqelela umbono wabo komunye umuntu, bafuna ukuqonda ukuthi "kungani" ngemuva kokuthi abalingani babo bayibona kanjani inkinga.
Esikhundleni sokugcizelela ukuthi umbono wakho yiwona ofanele, zinike isikhashana ukuvumela oshade naye abeke amagama ukuthi kungani bebona izinto ngendlela abazibona ngayo.
Khumbula uku sebenzisa amakhono akho okulalela okusebenzayo ukwazisa ukuthi ubazwile ngaphambi kokuthi wabelane ngemicabango yakho ngokuthi uzibona kanjani izinto.
Zimisele ukushintsha umbono wakho
Lokhu kuhlobene nephuzu elingenhla futhi kukhombisa oshade naye ukuthi unozwela futhi uyaqonda. Kungenzeka ukuthi lapho oshade naye ekutshele umbono wabo ngendaba enikhuluma ngayo, uyabona ukuthi baqinisile.
Abaxhumanisi abanempilo abanamahloni ngokushintsha imiqondo yabo.
Ukusho kumlingani wakho, “Uyazi ini? Ngiyakuthola lokhu okushoyo. Futhi uqinisile. ” Ibavumela ukuthi bezwe ukuthi awugcini ngokwazisa umbono wabo kepha nokuthi bawuxhumanise kahle kakhulu kangangokuba manje wabelana ngawo!
Hlonipha oshade naye ngokusebenzisa izitatimende "Mina"
Ukusetshenziswa kwezitatimende zika-'I 'kumagazini kusiza umlingani wakho abone ukuthi uzizwa unamandla ngale ndaba futhi kugcina izindlela zokuxhumana zihloniphekile futhi zingenankinga
“Ngiyalimala impela lapho kufanele ngikukhathaze njalo lapho ufuna ukukhipha udoti” kuzwakala kangcono ezindlebeni zoshade naye kunokuba uthi “Awusoze wakhumbula ukukhipha udoti ngaphandle kokuthi ngikupikise.”
Ukunciphisa ukuxhumana okusebenzayo
Nibe nesikhathi sokukhuluma nokulalela ngamunye ngamunye. Ufinyelele kwisinqumo okuvunyelwene ngaso ngokuvumelana.Uyiphetha kanjani ingxoxo ukuze le mizwa emihle iqhubeke?
Nobabili nisanda kwenza okuthile okuphawulekayo ebudlelwaneni benu. Yabelana ngokubonga. “Ngiyayithanda indlela esingakhuluma ngayo ngalezi zinto ngaphandle kwengxabano. Kungenza ngizizwe ngisondelene nawe ”ukuncoma okuhle ongakunika oshade naye.
Batshele okufundile kule ngxoxo, noma iliphi iphuzu ongalibonanga ngaphambili. Qinisekisa ukuthi babelane ngani nawe, bese ubabuza ukuthi bazizwa kanjani.
“Ndoda, singaxoxisana ngeSivumelwano Sokuthula esilandelayo!” iyavuma ukuthi nobabili nikwazi kanjani ukukhuluma ngendlela enenhliziyo elula. Ukuxhumana okusebenzayo akusho kuphela izingxoxo ezijulile kepha futhi kusho ukuthi nobabili nikwazi kanjani ukugcina izingxoxo ziphilile futhi zikhanya, lapho kungenzeka.
Lokhu kuzoza kuwe ngokwemvelo ngoba usanda kusebenza ngempumelelo ngento enkulu futhi uphume kuyo usondele kakhulu kunangaphambili. Jabulela lo mzuzu!
Ukudla okudlela endlini
Ukuxhumana ngaphandle kwenhlonipho ngeke kumeme lutho ngaphandle kwezinkinga ezengeziwe.
Inhlonipho ingesinye sezici ezibalulekile kubo bonke ubudlelwano obuyimpumelelo futhi uma sesikwazi ukuhlanganisa ukuxhumana nenhlonipho, zonke izingxoxo zizophenduka zibe ezempilo, futhi zisize ekuqedeni izinkinga ezingaba khona phakathi kwabalingani.