-Delile
- Abesilisa bakhohlisa kakhulu futhi babanjwa kalula
- Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana kungaholela ekutheni amadoda akhohlise ebudlelwaneni
- Ukuqaphela kwenzeka ngemuva kokwephula umthetho
Ubuchopho besilisa nabesifazane busebenza ngokuhlukile ezingeni eliyisisekelo.
Abesilisa bakukhathalele ukucabanga ngokuncintisana, kanti abesifazane bathambekele ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuhlangene ngokomzwelo futhi obubuyisanayo. Amadoda adinga ukuhlangana ukuze anqume ubukhosi phakathi kwesizwe - abesifazane bafuna ukuvumelana.
Lokhu kuziphatha kusobala uma ngabe uke wasebenzisa noma yisiphi isikhathi nentsha.
Kusukela ekuzalweni, ubuchopho bethu buqala ukudala amamodeli asebenzayo wangaphakathi wokuthi umlingani kufanele asuselwe kwimvelaphi yethu yobuzali. Yebo, isakhiwo sika-Sigmund Freud sika-Oedipus / Electra sinokufaneleka.
Kodwa-ke, laba bashayeli bengqondo abangaqondi kahle abaqondwa kahle ngabaningi.
Ngisho nochwepheshe bezengqondo bavame ukuba nobunzima bokuqonda izinqubo zabo zangaphakathi, yingakho abeluleki bebophezelekile ekufuneni ukwelulekwa ngokwelulekwa kwabanye abeluleki.
Abesilisa bakhohlisa kakhulu futhi babanjwa kalula
Ngakho-ke, kungani amadoda ekopela kaningi kunabesifazane, futhi kungani bavame "ukubanjwa" benza izinto noma batshele ngisho nomlingani wabo ukuthi bayathandana?
Kokuhlangenwe nakho kwami njengomeluleki, abesilisa bangitshele ukuthi bayazi ukuthi bazobanjwa noma bahlasele ngamabomu umshado wabo nalolo daba ngoba bebengazizwa sengathi oshade nabo noma isithandwa sabo sibathanda ngokungenamibandela.
Iqiniso yilokhu - uthando olungenamibandela luyinto kuphela engakwazi (futhi okufanele) ibe khona phakathi komzali nengane, kepha akwenzeki njalo.
Njengoba izingane zikhula futhi zandisa isiyingi sazo sokuphepha, zivame ukuhlola ubudlelwano. Lapho izingane zithandwa futhi zisekelwa ngokomzwelo ngokunamathiselwe okuphephile okungenani nomzali oyedwa, zingafunda ukuzizwela zona kanye nabanye.
Ubudlelwano obunempilo buyisabelo samandla, ukulawula, kanye nokuxhumana esingu-50/50.
Bangaki abantu obaziyo ebudlelwaneni obunjalo?
Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana kungaholela ekutheni amadoda akhohlise ebudlelwaneni
Ukuxhumana kwehla ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengoba abantu bengena ezindleleni futhi bezizwa benesifiso esincane sokukhuluma ngezidingo zabo nezidingo zabo. Ngokwengxenye enkulu, abantu bayakwazi ukuhlangabezana nezidingo nezidingo zabo eziyisisekelo ngaphandle kokuxhumana okuningi.
Kodwa-ke, ukuxhumana nomlingani lapho indoda izizwa ingafaneleki imvamisa akuyona into eyenzeka ngaphandle kokwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphandle kokuthi indoda yakho ingumeluleki.
Impendulo amadoda akhohlisa ukuthi "abanjwe" futhi avivinye ubudlelwano bawo ngezindlela abengeke akwazi ukuxhumana ngazo ngenxa yomqondo womuntu onzima nokulimala kokunamathiselwe. Ukukhuluma nje ngale mizwa kungasilela ekukhiqizeni lapho abesilisa bezizwa benamahloni futhi ngaleyo ndlela basole umlingani wabo ngendlela abazizwa ngayo.
Lapho kwenzeka ukwephulwa komthetho njengokungathembeki, isipiliyoni sami kube ukuthi amaklayenti afuna ngempela ukwenza ngcono ubudlelwane "nobabo" ngokwakha inkinga. Cishe njalo kuthatha inkinga yalolu hlobo ukudala ithuba lokukhuluma ngalokhu kulimala kokunamathiselwe nomeluleki wabashadikazi.
Akuvamile ukuthi imibhangqwana ibhekane nalezi zinkinga ngazodwana noma ekwelashweni komshado ngaphambi kokuwela iRubicon.
Ukuqaphela kwenzeka ngemuva kokwephula umthetho
Iningi labantu aliqondi ukuthi lezi zinto zenzeka kanjani kuze kube yilapho isiphambeko sesilimaze abantu ababakhathalele ngokweqiniso - abangane bomshado, izingane, abangane nomndeni. Ngokwazi, indlela yokuziphatha kwabesilisa abakhohlisayo ichazwa kangcono njengokuzilimaza noma ukucekela phansi lapho bengenalo ulimi noma izindlela zokukhuluma ukuhlupheka okungokomzwelo.
Okunamathiselwe kuthiwa kuyimbangela enkulu yokuhlupheka, okungaholela emicabangweni esekwe ngokwesaba nokuvala noma ukugwema isihloko.
Izindaba ezimnandi?
Ukwelulekwa ngemishado nemibhangqwana kungagxila kwesikhashana futhi kugxile ezixazululweni.
Lapho imibhangqwana izibophezele futhi itshale imali komunye nomunye, imvamisa ikhuthazwa yinqubekela phambili yayo ukuze ishintshe ngempumelelo. Uyayikhumbula iminyaka yakho yobusha nokuthi izingane zazinonya kanjani komunye nomunye? Ukwelulekwa kwezithandani nokwelashwa komshado kuyithuluzi eliphumelelayo lokwenza ngcono ukuxhumana nokwandisa ukuqwashiswa kokulimala kwethu okunamathiselwe ebuntwaneni.
Njengomelaphi, umbuzo ovame ukubuzwa ukuthi ungayisingatha kanjani imicabango esekelwa ukwesaba - ukwesaba ukulahleka, ukungafaneleki, noma ukungabi namandla / amandla. Impendulo - ukuhweba ukwesaba kwakho uthando.