-Delile
- Ukuqonda iqiniso lomshado
- 1. Nakekanani
- 2. Musa ukuhlola izinto ngaso sonke isikhathi
- 3. Uthando lwenza ukuba i-monotony ibukeke kahle
- 4. Umshado ungakwenza uzizwe njengomuntu omubi
- 5. Ungayeki ukusebenza ngobudlelwano bakho
Abantu banemibono ehlukene mayelana unyaka wokuqala womshado - bambalwa abakubheka njengokunzima futhi okukhohlisayo kanti abanye bambalwa bacabanga ngenye indlela.
Ungase ucabange 'Uma nihlangene nomlingani wakho isikhathi esingaphezu kweminyaka eyishumi futhi uma ngabe nazamukelana ngokungapheleli kwenu, nakanjani nithole ithuba lokufunda izinto ezintsha ngothando.' Ngakwesokudla?
Kulungile! Lokhu akulungile neze. Kukhona izinto okungekho muntu okutshela zona ngomshado. Unyaka wokuqala womshado uzokufundisa konke obekufanele ukwazi.
Manje, umuntu angaphikisana nephuzu lokuthi ngekhulu lama-21, isibalo sabantu abadala abahlala nabalingani abangashadile siyanda. Ku-2018, cishe i-15% yabantu abadala abawela eqenjini lobudala be-25-34 bahlala ndawonye nomlingani ongashadile.
Bayayiqonda imikhakha yokuphila ndawonye. Ngakho-ke, umshado wabo ufana nokuba nocezu lwekhekhe, akunjalo? Uyaphazama futhi ngoba umuntu uyehluleka ukuqonda ukuthi ukuhlala ndawonye nomshado babili ngokuphelele imiqondo ehlukene.
Ukuqonda iqiniso lomshado
Umshado kuyinto into enhle, impela. Futhi, unyaka wokuqala womshado muhle impela. Kepha, kuhlale kunolunye uhlangothi lwemali.
Kunezinto ezibalulekile okufanele uzazi ngaphambi komshado. Ngaphandle kokuthi nobabili nihlale ndawonye isikhathi esiningi, mzuzu lapho nithi 'ngiyakwenza', izinto ziguquka ngokuphelele.
Futhi, funda - Umshado vs. Ukuhlalisana
Impela unyaka wokuqala womshado isikhathi ufunda ukuba yinkosikazi noma umyeni, uthathe uhambo olusuka ku-'I 'uye ku' We 'ngempumelelo. Kepha, khona manjalo, ukhona hit nohlu ye ukukhathazeka nezibopho umzuzwana ongena kulolu hambo olusha.
Izinto ezinjengezezimali ezihlanganisiwe, ukusebenza cishe emisebenzini emibili, izindleko ezikhulayo zempilo, imithwalo yemfanelo ehlanganyelwe nokubandakanya imindeni emibili, isikweletu esabiwe ngokuhlanganyela, ukunakekela imisebenzi yasendlini, ukuzivumelanisa nemikhuba emibi ... uhlu luqhubeka nje.
Futhi, funda - Phatha ukukhathazeka ngonyaka wokuqala womshado
Ngokusho komelaphi wobudlelwano, u-Aimee Hartstein, uLCSW, “Umshado uhlukile kunokungabi nje ngabantu abashadile.” Uyanezela futhi, “kumane kwehlukile kunokuhlala ndawonye. Noma zibukeka njengezinto ezifanayo, ngokuhlala ndawonye, kuhlale kulula ukuphuma. Ngomshado, usayine isivumelwano esibophezelayo. Usebunyeni obungapheli, futhi izigxobo zizizwa ziphakeme kakhulu. Zonke izimpi noma ukudumazeka emshadweni kungazizwa kubaluleke kakhulu futhi kuthwale umthwalo omningi ngoba kunjalo. ”
Kepha, ungavumeli i- izinselelo kwe unyaka wokuqala womshado uyakukhipha, futhi akusizi ngalutho ukuyeka. Khumbula!
Umshado uhambo, hhayi indawo.
Ngakho-ke, nazi izindlela ezimbalwa noma amathiphu okunqoba izithiyo, silwe nezinselelo zonyaka wokuqala womshado, futhi sisebenzisane ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuhle. Futhi, yilokhu ozokuthanda funda ngothando emva komshado ngemuva kweminyaka eyishumi yokuhlala ndawonye nomlingani wakho.
1. Nakekanani
Kungenzeka ukuthi umuntu ohlanganyela naye endlini yokugezela kwesinye isikhathi angakucasula, kepha uma wena kholwa ukuthi uthando lwakho kufanele lulondolozwe, melana nesifiso sokuqala ukuphikisana.
Ukuze ukhulise ubudlelwano benu, nobabili ngidinga ukudala umuzwa ukuthi kukhona njalo othile leyo ubuke umhlane wakho akunandaba noma ngabe uqinisile noma uyiphutha.
Lokhu akusho ukuthi akufanele phawula ngezinto lokho kuyakukhathaza, kodwa zama ukubatshela ngaphandle kokwahlulela futhi kuphela lapho uwedwa. Umuntu ohlakaniphile wake wathi -
Ukubekezela kuyinto enhle
Futhi, ukubekezela kuyinto oyidingayo ukuze uqedele lolu hambo ngempumelelo, olubizwa ngomshado.
2. Musa ukuhlola izinto ngaso sonke isikhathi
Yeka ukwahlulela futhi ubheke izinto.
Ngokwesibonelo -
Kunezikhathi lapho uzwa khona ukuthi awutholi usizo olwanele kumlingani wakho. Noma, kunezikhathi lapho uzizwa sengathi wenza iningi lemisebenzi futhi ukhathazeka kakhulu ngezingane.
Esikhundleni sokwenza ukuhlolwa njalo lapho uzizwa usongelwa, cabanga iqiniso lokuthi i- umlingani unecala labo lendaba futhi uzifake ezicathulweni zabo.
Uthando emva komshado luphathelene nokuzwana.
Musa ukukala eyakho imizamo emikhakheni ehlukene futhi ungazibeki endaweni yesisulu empilweni yomndeni. Uma nobabili nijabule ngokuqhathaniswa, izingane zenu ziphilile futhi ziyajabula ngokulingana, khona-ke nobabili ningabanqobi.
3. Uthando lwenza ukuba i-monotony ibukeke kahle
Ngonyaka wokuqala womshado, zombili ophathina banesikhathi esanele namandla - bayakujabulela ukuhamba, ukuphuma, ukuzihlalela nabanye abantu, njll.
Lapho banezingane, i- imithwalo yemfanelo iyakhula nempilo ayifani. Akudingeki uzizwe ulusizi ngoba untula amandla futhi ngoba nobabili niqala ukulala ngo-9 PM. Kwesinye isikhathi i- ukuthanda uzizwa kusuka ezinganeni zakho nomlingani wakho kwenza i-monotony ibukeke kahle.
Vele, awudingi ukunamathela enkambisweni efanayo futhi ungahlala unonga uhlelo lwakho.
4. Umshado ungakwenza uzizwe njengomuntu omubi
Lapho abantu beshada, imvamisa babona konke izinto ezinhle komunye nomunye. Kodwa-ke, umshado uzokunika ithuba lokuthi Thola Okuningi ngobuthakathaka bomunye nomunye nothando luzokusiza ukunqoba lezi zinkinga.
Kwesinye isikhathi umlingani wakho uzokuphoqa ukuthi ukwenze bhekana namaphutha akho futhi lokhu kuyinto engakwenza uzizwe njengomuntu omubi. Khumbula ukuthi umuntu, ovuma amaphutha akhe futhi anqume ukuwasebenza, empeleni uzoba umuntu ongcono ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
5. Ungayeki ukusebenza ngobudlelwano bakho
Uma senibonana endimeni yokuba ngumzali nizophinda niwuthole lowo muzwa kusukela ekuqaleni kobudlelwano.
Ngokwesinye isandla, izingane zingafuna kakhulu futhi bazokwenza khipha amandla amaningi ukuthi uke ngaphambilini imali ebuhlotsheni bakho. Noma ngabe kunzima kangakanani, kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi uthole isikhathi sokusebenzela ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Yilokhu kuphela indlela yokugcina uthando ngemuva komshado futhi amathiphu azokwenza unyaka wakho wokuqala womshado ube lula futhi ube lula.