-Delile
- Kusho ukuthini ukuthi “ukuzizwa utholakele” futhi kungani kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni?
- Indawo enesizungu kunazo zonke emhlabeni ukuba semshadweni onesizungu
- Ukuba nesizungu emshadweni nakho kuyisimo sokungathembeki
- 1. Qala ngokuzitholela kabusha
- 3. Sebenzela ukuthola izindlela ezingcono zokuqala izingxoxo ezinengqondo
Ngesikhathi sokuhlukana kwakhe nonkosikazi wakhe uKatie, uBen, njengoba kudlalwa nguBruce Willis kumovie ka-1999 Indaba Yethu, ukhumbula isipiliyoni "sokuzizwa etholwe" nguye ekuthandaneni kwabo kwasekuqaleni.
Ephula udonga lwesine, uthi ezilalelini ukuthi uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano, awukho umuzwa ongcono emhlabeni kunokuthi "uzizwe utholakele."
Kusho ukuthini ukuthi “ukuzizwa utholakele” futhi kungani kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni?
Ukuzizwa utholile kuyisici esiyinhloko sokubopha okuphumelelayo.
Uma uzizwa "utholwe" ngomunye wakho obalulekile, uzizwa waziwa, uyigugu, ubalulekile futhi uyaphila.
Lapho izithandani zithandana, zisebenzisa amandla amaningi zibeka unyawo lwazo phambili ukuxoxa ngezintshisekelo zazo, umlando wazo kanye nakumlingani wazo omusha. Lokhu kwakha isibopho esinamandla lapho kubuyiswa. "Ukuzwa utholakele" kuholela kumuzwa oqinile wokuxhuma.
Ngeshwa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi imibhangqwana ezinikele ivame ukulahlekelwa yilomqondo wokuxhumana okusondele. Esikhundleni sokuthi "bazizwe batholakele", manje bazizwa "bekhohliwe." Ngivame ukuzwa izikhalazo ekwelashweni kwezithandani ezinjengokuthi: “Owakwami umatasa kakhulu ngomsebenzi noma izingane ukuba angachitha isikhathi nami.” "Umlingani wami ubonakala ematasa futhi engekho." "Omunye wami omkhulu uchitha sonke isikhathi sabo ku-Facebook noma ku-E-mail futhi anginaki."
Esimweni ngasinye, umlingani uzizwa engabalulekile, "engaphansi kuka" futhi "ekhohliwe."
Njengoba nje ungekho umuzwa ongcono emhlabeni kunokuthi "uzizwe utholiwe", awukho umuzwa omubi emhlabeni kunokuthi "uzizwe ukhohliwe."
Indawo enesizungu kunazo zonke emhlabeni ukuba semshadweni onesizungu
Njengoba umama ayevame ukungitshela, indawo enesizungu kunazo zonke emhlabeni ukuba semshadweni onesizungu. Isayensi yezenhlalo ikusekela lokhu kuqonda. Isizungu sinemiphumela eminingi emibi ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Kunembile ukusho ukuthi, empeleni, “isizungu siyabulala.”
Ukuba nesizungu emshadweni nakho kuyisimo sokungathembeki
Isifiso sokuxhuma sinamandla kangangokuba abantu bazofuna ukuxhumana kwinto entsha yothando uma bengazizwa bexhunyiwe ekhaya.
Ngakho-ke, yini imibhangqwana engayenza ukuze izizwe “itholakele” futhi “ingakhohliwe” ngokwengeziwe emishadweni yayo? Nayi eminye imibono.
1. Qala ngokuzitholela kabusha
Gcina iphephabhuku lemizwa.
Qopha amaphupho akho. Phishekela izinkanuko zakho. Nweba inethiwekhi yakho yokuxhumana nabantu. Ngaphambi kokuthi uzizwe unesizungu esincane kubambiswano lwakho, ungahle uthande ukuqala ngokwakho ukukhuphula izinga lakho lokuzixhumanisa.
2. Khetha isikhathi esihle sokukhuluma nomlingani wakho futhi nikhulume ngemizwa yenu yokuba nesizungu nokuhlukaniswa.
Ukusebenzisa izitatimende "Mina" kunokuthi "Wena" kuzosiza kakhulu ekubeni nengxoxo ekhiqizayo. Hlala ngemizwa kunokumangalelwa. "Uma usocingweni lwakho ebusuku, ngizizwa ngingabalulekile futhi nginesizungu" kungenzeka isebenze kangcono kunokuthi "Uhlala usocingweni lwakho futhi kungenza ngizizwe sengathi awungithandi."
Cela okufunayo kunokukhononda ngalokho ongakufuni. "Ngingathanda ukuthi sichithe isikhathi esisezingeni eliphezulu sikhuluma" kungenzeka sisebenze kangcono kunokuthi "Ngidinga ukuthi uyeke ukungiziba."
3. Sebenzela ukuthola izindlela ezingcono zokuqala izingxoxo ezinengqondo
Ukukhulumisana okuhle kuvame ukufaka imibuzo efanelekile ukwenza ingxoxo ibe lula. Le nqubo ifana nokuthola ukhiye ofanele ukuvula ilokhi.
Imibuzo emibi kakhulu yokwenza izingxoxo ezinengqondo yilena efana nokuthi “Belunjani usuku lwakho emsebenzini” noma “Ube nosuku oluhle esikoleni.”
Le mibuzo ibanzi kakhulu futhi imvamisa ukuveza impendulo eqondile (“emihle”) kunokuthile okunenjongo. Esikhundleni salokho, ngiphakamisa ukuthi uzame imibuzo enjengokuthi: “Luyini uhla lwemizwa oyizwile namhlanje?”, “Yini oyikhathaza kakhulu?”, “Ngabe ukhona umuntu okusizile namuhla?” noma "Yikuphi ukuzisola kwakho okukhulu?".
Ngenkathi "ukuzizwa utholakele" kungaba isinyathelo esibalulekile enqubeni yokukhwelana, kulula ukulahlekelwa yilowo muzwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kunikezwe izingcindezi eziningi imibhangqwana ebhekana nazo ezweni lanamuhla elixakekile. Ngiyethemba ukuthi iziphakamiso engikunikeze zona zizokuvumela wena noshade naye ukuthi nizizwe ngathi “anikhohliwe” futhi “nizuze” kakhulu kubambiswano lwenu yize kunezingcindezi eziningi zempilo yanamuhla.