-Delile
- Ngabe ukwahlukaniswa kokuthuthuka kuyindlela efanelekile yomshado wakho?
- Ukuhlela konke kusengaphambili kubalulekile
- Ukunquma ukusebenza kokwehlukaniswa kokuthuthuka
- Ukugcina ukugcina ukwethembana nemingcele ecacile
Umbono wokwehlukaniswa kokuthuthuka, kwabanye, ekuqaleni kungahle kubonakale kuyinto encane.
Ukwehlukanisa ngenhloso yokuthuthukisa umshado kuzwakala kungahambelani. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ngubani othi uma nihlukana nalokho ngeke nimane niqhubeke esikhundleni sokubusa inhlansi eyayikhona phakathi kwenu ngenkathi niqala ukuthi ‘ngiyakwenza.’
Hhayi-ke, ukwahlukaniswa kokuqiniswa 'kuyinto,' futhi kuyisu elivumelekile nelisebenzisekayo lokusiza abantu ukuba babuyisane, bathuthukise imishado yabo futhi bagweme isehlukaniso!
Umelaphi oholayo nombhali othengisa kakhulu, uSusan Pease Gadoua weza nalomqondo emuva ngonyaka ka-2008 obusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ithole indlela yokunqoba izinkinga zomshado ngokuhlukaniswa kokuqiniswa.
Ngokuvamile kunezizathu ezintathu zakudala zokuthi kungani abantu abashadile bengahlukana
- Njengengxenye yenqubo yesehlukaniso
- Ukuthola isikhala nombono ngomshado
- Ukwehlukaniswa kokuthuthuka; ukuthuthukisa umshado
Ngabe ukwahlukaniswa kokuthuthuka kuyindlela efanelekile yomshado wakho?
Kwesinye isikhathi, imibhangqwana ayikwazi ukuhlala ngenjabulo noma ngokunethezeka ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo; kungenzeka bangakujabuleli njalo ukuboshelwa ekhaya lomndeni 24/7.
Uvame ukuzwa ngemibhangqwana ehlukanisile engumzali obambisene naye, futhi uma sebejwayele ukuba nesikhathi esithile bodwa, bayajabula esikhaleni abanaso. Ibavumela ukuba babe ngokwabo futhi bazivumelanise nanoma yini abakhetha ukuyenza ngesikhathi sabo.
Ukwehlukaniswa kokuthuthuka kunikeza izinzuzo ezifanayo ngaphandle kokuthi nihlala nithandana, nishadile futhi nizinikele komunye nomunye. Uthola nje isikhathi esithile emshadweni futhi ufunde ukwazisana ngokwengeziwe.
Abanye abantu babamba iqhaza ekuhlukaneni kokuthuthukisa isikhathi esifushane, kanti abanye bangathola indlela yokwenza njalo unomphela.
Uyabona, akukho lutho olungahambi kahle uma umbhangqwana oshadile uhlala ngokuhlukana, yize emphakathini lokho kubonakala kuyinto exakile ukukwenza.
Imibandela osebenza ngayo ukwahlukana kwakho okuthuthukisiwe izodinga ukukhishwa phakathi kwakho noshade naye futhi kufanele ibhekane namaqiniso futhi ibe ngeyakho njengabashadikazi kanye nezidingo zakho zomuntu ngamunye kunokuba uthathe indlela yokufunda ngencwadi yokwehlukaniswa kwakho kokuthuthuka. Njenge :
- Ukwethembeka.
- Ukunakekelwa kwezingane.
- Nizosichitha kanjani isikhathi ndawonye futhi nihlale nixhumene futhi nisondelene
- Uzolungisa kanjani isici sezezimali salolu khetho lokuphila
Ukuhlela konke kusengaphambili kubalulekile
Uma uqinisekisa ukuthi uhlela konke kusengaphambili ngeke ungene kunoma yiziphi izinkinga ezisongela umshado ngesikhathi sokuhlukaniswa kwakho okuthuthukile.
Bheka izeluleko ezinikezwa njalo online ukuthi ungazilungiselela kanjani noma yiluphi uhlobo lokwehlukana, zizofaka okuningi kwalokho ozodinga ukukwazi ngaphambi kokwehlukaniswa kwakho kokuthuthuka.
Ukwehlukaniswa kokuthuthuka akudingeki kube okusemthethweni ngokuphelele kepha, wena noshade naye nizovumelana ukuthi usuku olulodwa ngeviki ngamunye wenu uzohlala ezihlotsheni noma ehhotela noma efulethini elihlukile eligcinelwe le nhloso futhi libe nelinye ebusuku ngesonto 'isikhathi' sakho.
Ngenkathi omunye umlingani egcina ikhaya lomndeni nezingane. Eminye imibhangqwana ingakhetha ukunikezana isonto elilodwa ikhefu njalo ezinyangeni ezimbalwa lapho iya eholidini isonto lonke ishiya owakwayo nomndeni ngemuva.
Uyabona, ukwahlukaniswa okuthuthukayo kungaba yinoma yiluphi uhlobo lokwehlukanisa ‘unomphela noma cha unomphela ngaphandle kokushiya umshado, yize kungabiza kakhulu futhi kuzoba ukunethezeka kweminye imibhangqwana.
Ukunquma ukusebenza kokwehlukaniswa kokuthuthuka
Nasi isibonelo sezinye zezizathu zokuthi kungani ungacabanga ngokuhlukaniswa kokuthuthuka.
- Uma wena noma oshade naye ninebanga phakathi kwenu enikulwela ukubuya kulo, kodwa nobabili nisazibophezele ekwenzeni umshado usebenze.
- Uma omunye oshade naye etubekile, ecindezelekile noma ecindezelekile futhi edinga isikhathi esithile.
- Uma kunezingane emshadweni wakho, nobabili ngezikhathi ezithile ningahlomula ngokuzinika isikhathi sokwenza izinto zivuseleleke futhi nihlale niqinile futhi nizinikele.
- Uma udinga isikhathi sokucabanga ngesimo somshado wakho, qaphela lokhu kungaholela ekuhlukaneni unomphela nokho.
- Uma nobabili nizinikele komunye nomunye kodwa ninentshisekelo ehluke kakhulu noma ukukhetha indlela yokuphila.
Empeleni, uma owakwakho noma bobabili abashadikazi bezizwa sengathi badinga ikhefu nesikhathi esithile sokuphuma, noma uma ulahlekelwe yizinhlansi zakho nokulangazelela impilo ukwahlukaniswa kokuthuthuka kungaba yisixazululo esihle kuwe.
Ukugcina ukugcina ukwethembana nemingcele ecacile
Ukwehlukaniswa kwesithuthukisi kufaka ukucabanga okuncane kokudala njengoba uthola ukuthi yiluphi uhlobo lokuphila unomphela noma alunomphela eningathanda ukulakha nobabili kepha noma yini kungenzeka ngokuhlukaniswa kokuthuthuka - inqobo nje uma ugcina ukwethembana nokusula imingcele.
Ukuthembana yisici esibucayi lapha uma wena noma oshade naye ninobunzima bokuthembana, ngesizathu esizwakalayo noma cha, ukwahlukana okuthuthukayo kungaletha ezinye izinkinga nezinselelo emshadweni kunangaphambili.
Kubalulekile ngokuhlukana okuthuthukisayo ukuthi wena noshade naye nithembane futhi nobabili nisebenze kanzima ukugcina lokho kuthembana kungenjalo ngeke nje kukusebenzele nhlobo.