Eminyakeni eyishumi edlule ukucabanga kwenziwe ushintsho kusuka kumkhuba we-niche ongokomoya waba inkambiso ejwayelekile eyamukelekile, ethandwa yinoma ngubani ofuna ukuthuthukisa impilo nokuphila kwakhe. Kepha ukugxila kwethu ekucabangeni kungasiholela ekuphuthelweni kokunye, okuthile okukhulu nokubandakanya konke ... njengokuqwashisa?
UGary Douglas, umholi ocabangayo, umbhali nomsunguli we-Access Consciousness ukholelwa kanjalo. Lapha ukhuluma ngomehluko phakathi kokucabanga nokuqwashisa nokubaluleka kokuzazi ngokwakho ebudlelwaneni. Uhlanganyela ngokuthi ukufinyelela ulwazi kusivumela kanjani ukufinyelela amathuba angenamkhawulo empilweni yethu, nasebudlelwaneni bethu.
U-Erica: Ngakho-ke, Gary, ukuhumusha kwakho ukucabanga kuhluke kakhulu kulokho okuphethwe umhlaba wonke - ungasitshela kabanzi ngalokhu?
UGary Douglas: Impela, ngiyakwazi. Okokuqala, yazi ukuthi angizile lapha ukwahlulela ukucabanga noma ukubiza noma ngubani okwenzayo ukuthi 'akulungile'. Ngimane ngikumema ukuthi ubuze, ingabe ukucabanga kunganciphisa? Kwenzeka ngicabange ukuthi kunjalo - kepha akudingeki.
Omunye wemikhawulo yokucabanga usesikhathini uqobo. Ngokwenza ukucabanga, kugcizelelwa ukusebenzisa ingqondo ukunaka konke okusendaweni yethu. Ngokombono wami, lokhu kusivimbela ngezindlela ezimbili.
Okokuqala ukuthi ingqondo ihlala isivumela ukuthi sikwazi ukubona nokuzwa lokho esesivele sikwazi. Ngencazelo yodwa, lokho kungumkhawulo.
Okwesibili ukuthi ingqondo isebenza ngokwahlulela - ngamanye amazwi, kuhle kakhulu ekuqondeni okulungile nokungalungile noma okuhle nokubi. Kusigcina esimweni esingapheli sokuzama ukuzwa, ukucabanga, ukwenza noma ukuba yinto elungile noma singenzi into engalungile.
Lokho akuyona inketho yangempela futhi akusiniki ukufinyelela kuwo wonke amandla ethu. Ukuqwashisa yilokho okusivumela ukuthi sifinyelele kuwo wonke lawo makhono.
U-Erica: Ukuqwashisa kusivumela kanjani ukufinyelela kuwo wonke amakhono okhulume ngawo phambilini?
UGary Douglas: Ukuqwashisa yikhono lemvelo sonke esinalo lokuba khona ngokuphelele ngayo yonke imininingwane yomzuzwana ngenkathi sazi ngokuphelele imvelo esiseduze nathi. Kuyisikhala sokuba kunokuba kube yinto esiyenzayo. Lapho usazi ukuthi kufanele wenze futhi ube yikho konke ngaphandle kokunqamula noma iyiphi ingxenye yakho eyiqiniso kuwe.
Ngokweqile, ekuqwashiseni, akukho ukwahlulela okungatheni. Konke kukhona, futhi akukho ukwahlulelwa. Lapho nje ususebenza kuyo yonke into kumane nje kuyindawo ethakazelisayo yokubuka amathuba okutholakala. Ukuzikhethela ukudala futhi lokho kuyisihluthulelo senkululeko wonke umuntu anakho kodwa akekho ofuna ukwazi ukuthi bayatholakala.
U-Erica: Ukuqwashisa kuhlangana kanjani nobudlelwano? Ingabe ingabathuthukisa?
UGary Douglas: Impela. Uma ukwazisa, uphelelwe isahlulelo. Awunaso isifiso esivuthayo sokulunga nganoma yini. Esikhundleni salokho, ukhetha ukuba nombono onentshisekelo ngayo yonke into. Ngaphandle kokwahlulela uthola ukucaciseleka kanye nomuzwa wokukhululeka ngezikhathi zodlame.
Manje kungani ukuzazi kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni? Ukuyeka ukwahlulela kunzima kwabanye, ikakhulukazi labo abayimilutha yokuthi balungile (noma ngisho nokungalungile) ngezinto.
Iphuzu eliyinhloko yilokhu: ungaba neqiniso, noma ungakhululeka. Yikuphi ukukhetha okuzokwenzela ikusasa lakho okuningi? Yikuphi ukukhetha okuzokwakhela ubudlelwano bakho?
Okunye ukuqwashisa ngomnikelo ongakwenza ebudlelwaneni ukuthi kukugcina okwamanje. Okwedlule akusabambeki ukusebenza okufanayo futhi ungaba nomlingani wakho umzuzwana nomzuzwana, ubakhethe umzuzwana nomzuzwana. Awukho lapho ngenxa yomkhuba, noma inkambiso - kodwa ukukhetha. Ngakho-ke njengomuntu kufanele uhlakulele ukuzazi futhi uthuthukise ubudlelwane bakho.
U-Erica: Singakuthuthukisa kanjani ukuqwashisa kwethu?
UGary Douglas: Isinyathelo sokuqala kufanele kube ukuyeka ukuhlukanisa umhlaba ungene kokuhle nokubi, bese uqala ukubona yonke into njengombono othakazelisayo bese ubuza ukuthi lokhu kukhetha kwakha ini?
Ukusho, noma ukucabanga, umbono onentshisekelo, nginalo mbono kuzo zonke izahlulelo ohlangabezana nazo - noma ngabe leso sahlulelo ngesakho noma ngesomunye umuntu - sizokwenza ukuba ubekhona ngalokho okushesha ukwedlula noma yini enye engiyaziyo. Kuzokungenisa kuleso sikhala sobukhona lapho ubona khona ukuthi yini ongayithola ngempela nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Lokho ukwazi.
Isinyathelo Sesibili silula kakhulu uma usunesinyathelo sokuqala phansi. Isinyathelo Sesibili wukuphila njengombuzo. Ngokwemvelo lokho kuba lula lapho ungasenzi ukwahlulela ngoba ukwahlulela kumayelana nezimpendulo neziphetho.
U-Erica: Siphila kanjani njengombuzo?
UGary Douglas:Ukuphila njengombuzo kusho ukuzimisela ukubheka ukuthi izinqumo zethu zizokwenzani, kude nanoma yimuphi umqondo wokuthi zilungile noma zimbi ngathi. Kungaleso sikhathi lapho siyeka ukuhlukanisa ngezigaba lapho sivula khona umnyango wokukhetha kwangempela nokwenzeka.
Prakthiza ngokubheka noma isiphi isimo empilweni yakho ngombono wokuthi, Uma ngikhetha lokhu, impilo yami (noma ubudlelwano) bami buzoba njani eminyakeni emihlanu? Noma ishumi, noma amashumi amabili?
Ukuphila njengombuzo kungaba ngumqondo ongajwayelekile wokuthola ikhanda lakho ... ngakho ungakwenzi! Ukube ikhanda lakho belingakuthola konke ngabe belikwenzile lokho vele. Vele uzimisele ukubuza bese ukhohlwa ukuzama ukuthola izimpendulo.
Buza, ubone. Izame manje:
Yini ongathanda ukuyenza empilweni yakho? Futhi ebudlelwaneni bakho?
Yini engenzeka ongakayikhethi?
Yiziphi izinyathelo ongazithatha namuhla ukwakha ikusasa olifisayo?
Khohlwa ukwahlulela ukuthi ngabe ukwenza kahle. Ayikho imiphumela efanele. Ayikho imiphumela engalungile. Kunombuzo nje odala ukukhetha. Ukukhetha kungumthombo wakho omkhulu wokungenzeka, futhi leso yisipho esikhulu kunazo zonke esilethwa ukuqwashisa.