-Delile
- Okufanele ukwenze ngokushesha: Thatha isitokwe
- Kuyinto evamile ukuzwa imicabango ethile ebuhlungu
- Iqala ingxoxo
- Amasu wokuzinakekela wokubhekana nokuphinga
- Indlela eya ekwelapheni yinde futhi inomoya
Ukufunda ukuthi owakwakho ukukhohlisile kungenye yezinto ezimbi kakhulu ongazenza emshadweni. Noma ngabe uthola ngoba owakwakho eza kuwe futhi avume izono zakho, noma uthola imikhondo ekuholela eqinisweni elingemnandi lokuduka kwakhe, ukwazi ukuthi ukhashelwe kungakwenza uzizwe uthukile, uthukuthele, ugcwala ukuzithemba, ucindezelekile , futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, ubuhlungu obukhulu.
Ukwazi ukuthi umyeni wakho ubephingile kungenzeka ukuthi uzibuze imibuzo eminingi. Kungenzeka kanjani ukuthi umuntu othi uyangithanda enze into enjengale? Ngabe ngangingalungile ngokwanele? Yini enye owesifazane anayo engingenayo?
Umshado wakho ushayeke ngesimo esikhulu, esithinta impilo. Nazi ezinye zezindlela ongabhekana ngazo nokuphinga:
Okufanele ukwenze ngokushesha: Thatha isitokwe
Ukwaziswe ngokukopela komuntu oshade naye. Usasesimweni sokushaqeka kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi wenze okunengqondo. Uma unezingane, lesi kungaba yisikhathi esihle sokuthi uzivakashele kubazali bakho ukuze wena nomyeni wakho nikwazi ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngalesi simo esibucayi. Abekho abazali osondelene nabo? Bona ukuthi umngani angathatha izingane usuku olulodwa noma ezimbili.
Uma izingane zingabandakanyeki, zivumele ucubungule izindaba zokuphinga komlingani wakho amahora angama-24 ngaphambi kokuzama ukukhuluma nani. Udinga isikhathi ukuvumela okwenzekile kungene ngaphakathi. Vumela ukuthi ube nemicabango yakho ngaphambi kokuxoxa ngokuthi kungani ekwenza ngokungathembeki. Khala, memeza, shaya umcamelo ngezibhakela zakho. Vumela ulaka nobuhlungu. Lokhu kuzosiza ekulungiseleleni ukuhlala phansi noshade naye uma uzizwa ukuthi uyakwazi ukwenza lokho.
Kuyinto evamile ukuzwa imicabango ethile ebuhlungu
Cishe wonke umuntu oshade naye othola ukuthi umlingani wakhe ubekade esondelene nomunye umuntu uthi bebenemicabango ebukhali egxile kulokho umlingani wabo akwenze nomunye umuntu. Babacabanga ngosuku, behleka futhi bebambene ngezandla. Bazibuza ngesici sobulili salolu daba. Beshintshana phakathi kokudinga ukwazi yonke imininingwane ngobudlelwano, bengafuni nokuzwa igama elilodwa ngabo.
Ukuba nale micabango ehlaselayo, ephindaphindwayo mayelana nokuthi kwenzekani ngesikhathi sokuphinga kuyindlela yokuthi uzame ukulawula isimo okusobala ukuthi usungasilawuli. Futhi noma ngabe oshade naye angazama ukukukholisa ukuthi kungcono ukuthi angazi lutho ngalokho abekwenza nakwenye intokazi, abeluleki bezemishado abavumelani. Ukuphendula imibuzo yalowo okhonjiwe inqobo nje uma ezwa isidingo sokuyibuza yingxenye ebalulekile yekhono lakhe lokubhekana nokuphinga, futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, ukumsiza ukuthi aqhubekele phambili ngenqubo yakhe yokwelashwa.
Iqala ingxoxo
Ngaphandle kwemizwa yakho yokuthukuthela ngoshade naye, ninesibopho komunye nomunye sokukhuluma ngokungathembeki nokuthi nibone ukuthi nifuna ukuya kuphi kusukela manje. Lokhu ngeke kube yingxoxo elula noma emfushane, ngakho-ke hlala ku: Kungenzeka ukuthi ukhuluma ngalokhu amasonto nezinyanga ezizayo. Ngokuya ngohlobo lwendaba, ingxoxo izothatha enye yezindlela ezimbili:
- Nobabili nifuna ukusebenzela ukonga umshado, noma
- Oyedwa noma nobabili ufuna ukuhlukanisa
Noma ngabe iyiphi indlela ingxoxo eyithathayo, kungasiza ukuthola usizo lomeluleki womshado onelayisense ukusiza ukuhola ingxoxo nokuyigcina iphilile futhi ikhiqiza. Umeluleki wemishado onelayisense angakunikeza nobabili indawo engathathi hlangothi nephephile lapho nizokhipha khona izinto ezenzekile futhi, uma kungukukhetha kwakho, sebenzelani ukubuyisela umshado ndawonye nokwethembana, ukwethembeka nokuzibophezela okusha ekwethembekeni.
Amasu wokuzinakekela wokubhekana nokuphinga
Uyakhuluma, nobabili niphambi komeluleki wemishado. Ugxile ekwelapheni umshado wakho nasezindabeni eziholele ekulahlekelweni ngumlingani wakho. Kepha khumbula: uyiqembu elilimele kulesi simo, futhi udinga ukunaka kakhulu ukuzinakekela ngalesi sikhathi esinzima.
- Funa ukulinganisela phakathi kokukhumbula ushintsho olukhulu umshado wakho odlule kulo, nokuziphazamisa ngezinto ezakhayo. Awufuni ukuhlala ebuhlungwini, kepha awufuni ukuzama ukungakunaki nakho. Zinike isikhathi sokucabangisisa ngesimo somshado wakho, futhi wenze isikhathi esilinganayo sokuzivocavoca umzimba, ukuzijabulisa, noma ukuphola nje phambi kochungechunge olulula lwethelevishini.
- Cabanga ngokucophelela ngokuthi uzokwabelana nobani lolu lwazi. Ufuna ukusekelwa okuvela kubangane bakho abaseduze ngalesi sikhathi esibucayi empilweni yakho, kepha awufuni ukugxila esigayweni sokuhleba. Thembela kubantu obaziyo ukuthi bazoluphatha lolu lwazi ngokuzwela okulufanele, futhi ungahambi usakaza amahemuhemu alimazayo ngawe nangoshade naye endaweni yangakini.
- Zikhumbuze ukuthi ukuthandana nomyeni wakho ngaphandle komshado kwakungeyona neze iphutha lakho. Angazama ukukuqinisekisa ngenye indlela ngokukusola ngokungaziphenduli izidingo zakhe, noma ukuthi uzivumele ukuthi uhambe, noma ukuthi uhlala umatasa kakhulu nezingane noma usebenza ukumnaka. Yize kungahle kube neqiniso kulokho akushoyo, azikho kulezi zinto okuyisizathu sokuphuma emshadweni ozibophezele. Abantu abahlakaniphile bakhuluma ngezinkinga ngaphambi kokuba basebenzise ukuphinga okusongela umshado.
- Khumbula isisho esithi "Nalokhu futhi kuzodlula." Ngemuva kokuphinga, uzozizwa ukhungathekile. Kepha themba ukuthi lo muzwa uzoshintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kuzoba nezinsuku ezimbi nezinsuku ezinhle, ukukhuphuka nokwehla esimweni sakho somzwelo. Njengoba wena nomyeni wakho niqala ukuxazulula izizathu zokungathembeki, nizoqala ukuzwa izinsuku ezinhle kakhulu kunezinsuku ezimbi.
Indlela eya ekwelapheni yinde futhi inomoya
Lapho nishintshana ngezifungo zomshado, anizange nicabange ukuthi ukuphinga kungaba yikho “okubi kakhulu” kokuhle nokubi. Yazi ukuthi awuwedwa: kulinganiselwa ukuthi endaweni ethile phakathi kuka-30% no-60% wabantu baba nokuthandana esikhathini esithile ezimpilweni zabo zomshado. Abaningi balabo bantu bayaqhubeka nokulungisa imishado yabo futhi babenze baqine kunanini ngaphambili. Kuthatha ukuzinikela, ukuxhumana, usizo oluvela kumelaphi onakekelayo, nokubekezela, kepha kungenzeka ukuthi uphume ngakolunye uhlangothi lomcimbi ngomshado ojabulayo, oqinile futhi nothando.