-Delile
- Yenza: Xoxa kakhulu ngokuhle kunokubi
- Musa: Yiba nezihloko “ezingekho emikhawulweni”
- Yenza: Yabelana ngama-critique akho ngothando
- Musa: Letha ingxoxo yokulwa ngesikhathi esingalungile
- Yenza: Thethelela
- Musa: Thatha sengathi oshade naye ungumfundi wezingqondo
Ukukhulumisana akungabazeki ukuthi kungenye yezingxenye ezinzima kakhulu ekulondolozeni umshado onempilo. Njengoba isikhathi sihamba, imibhangqwana iyajwayelana futhi icabange ukuthi uzakwabo uyaqonda ukuthi bazizwa kanjani ngaso sonke isikhathi. Imibhangqwana nayo ijwayele ukugwema izihloko ezithile ukugwema impi noma ingxoxo enzima. Kungokwemvelo ukufuna ukugwema ukungqubuzana, kepha kwesinye isikhathi ukugwema izingxabano lapha futhi manje kuholela engxabanweni enkulu ezansi nomgwaqo.
Kunezimbobo eziningi ezivame ukubakhona kunoma iyiphi ingxoxo emshadweni ezingasuswa. Kepha ngayo yonke imbobo ekhona ekuxhumaneni kwabashadile, kunezindlela eziningi zokuletha lolo lwazi. Kungaba yinkambu ekhohlisayo yokuhamba kuyo, ngamabhomu agqitshwayo alinde i-misstep yakho elandelayo ngendlela yengxabano noma ukuphawula okuthathwe ngendlela engafanele.
Ake sihlole okufanele ukwenze nokungafanele ukwenze kokuthi kufanele ukhulume kanjani noshade naye. Akukaze kube buhlungu ukuthuthukisa imikhuba yakho yokuxhumana, ngakho-ke qaphela amaphutha ezindleleni zakho lapho uwafunda.
Yenza: Xoxa kakhulu ngokuhle kunokubi
Ngiyazi, lokhu kubukeka sengathi akunangqondo, kepha kucashile ukuthi abantu abaningi benze iphutha lokukhuluma kuphela lapho benokuthile okungekuhle abazokwabelana ngakho. Sebenzisa amagama akho ngendlela enothando neyokuncoma ngangokunokwenzeka. Tshela umkakho ukuthi ubukeka emuhle kulawo majini. Tshela umyeni wakho ukuthi ubukeka emuhle namhlanje. Tshela oshade naye ukuthi ubazisa kangakanani.
Uma ukhuluma noshade naye ngezinto ezinhle kaningi, bazovula futhi bahloniphe lokho ozokusho uma ufuna ukusho okuthile ongakuthandi. Uma ubabeka emabhukwini kuphela mayelana nokuthi bahlangana kanjani, bazoqala ukukukhiphela ngaphandle.
Musa: Yiba nezihloko “ezingekho emikhawulweni”
Uma kunokuthile okuvela kuwe noma okwedlule komlingani okungenamkhawulo, kungaba yifu elimnyama ebudlelwaneni bakho bamanje. Enye yezinzuzo zokushada nomuntu omthandayo ukuthi ungabelana ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa.
Ukunikeza isihloko noma ingxoxo ilebula ye "off mipaka" kwenza kubonakale sengathi kuneqiniso elibi noma imfihlo umuntu angafuni ukukhuluma ngayo. Gwema ukuba nalezi zikhala ezingxoxweni ukuze imfihlo ingabucindezeli ubudlelwano futhi ibangele uqhekeko kamuva.
Yenza: Yabelana ngama-critique akho ngothando
Uma ungajabuli ngokuthi umlingani wakho uziphatha kanjani noma ukuthi bakhuluma nawe kanjani, sondela ingxoxo usendaweni efudumele nenothando. Ukuze ingxoxo ikhiqize, awukwazi ukungena uzoklabalasa, uklabalase, futhi uthuke isimilo somlingani wakho.
Thula ukuhlaziya kwakho njengesinye sezenzo zabo, hhayi esinye sezimilo zabo. Badinga ukwazi ukuthi usamthanda lowo muntu ukuthi ungubani, awukuthandi nje lokho abakwenzile noma amagama abawashoyo. Umehluko ocashile onjalo, kepha ukuhlasela ubunikazi babo kuzophazamisa ingxoxo.
Isibonelo:
Ukuhlaziywa komlingiswa: “Uyisilima.”
Ukuhlaziywa kwesenzo: “Ubukade esebenza njenge ngiyadlikiza. ”
Lolo shintsho oluncane luyindlela enothando nenhlonipho yokukhuluma nokunganeliseki kwakho. Hlala uhlasela isenzo, hhayi umuntu osenzile.
Ingxoxo emshadweni phakathi kwabashadile yinto ekhohlisayo impela. Ukubekwa okungalungile noma ukusetshenziswa kwamagama kungenza umehluko omkhulu futhi kube nomthelela ekukhuliseni udaba oluncane lube yingxabano yesikhathi eside phakathi kwabalingani. Ukukhethwa kahle kwamagama ngesikhathi sokuxoxa kuvame ukusebenza njengesisekelo sesehlukaniso.
Emshadweni, udinga ukuthi uqaphele ukuthi ukhuluma kanjani nokuthi kanjani.
Musa: Letha ingxoxo yokulwa ngesikhathi esingalungile
Kuzoba nezikhathi phakathi komshado wakho lapho uzodinga khona ukuba nenhliziyo enhliziyweni nomlingani wakho. Uma benza okuthile okungalungile, bhala phansi leso sono, bese usiveza ngesikhathi lapho imizwelo ingapheli futhi nobabili nizoba nesikhathi sokukhuluma. Into yabantu okufanele bayenze ukusabela emaphutheni abo ngokushesha, kepha lokho kaningi akuyixazululi inkinga. Linda nize nobabili nibe nenhloko yezinga futhi nikwazi ukuxoxa ngodaba njengabantu abadala.
Futhi, ungalethi ingxoxo ezodinga isikhathi ukuyithuthukisa njengoba nobabili niphuma ngomnyango wokuya emsebenzini noma okunye ukuzibandakanya. Lokhu kumane kushiye iwa engxoxweni emshadweni engaba yimbi njengoba usuku luqhubeka. Qiniseka ukuthi nikhetha iphuzu ngesikhathi lapho nobabili ningahlala phansi futhi nithembeke futhi nivule ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuphela kwesikhathi.
Yenza: Thethelela
Umshado ukuzibophezela kwempilo yonke, futhi lokhu kuzohambisana nokungezwani okuningi. Lapho udaba selwethulwe kusuka kuwe noma kumlingani wakho, sebenzelani ukuxolelana. Ukubamba igqubu kungabonakala kuyisu elizwakalayo, kepha uzimisele ukubambelela isikhathi esingakanani eqinisweni lokuthi wathi okuthile kusho ngomama wakho? Uzimisele ukuhlala isikhathi esingakanani neqiniso lokuthi ukukutshele ukuthi unganciphisa isisindo?
Akufanele.
Thukuthela, uthukuthele, futhi uthembeke ngokuthi oshade naye ukwenze wazizwa kanjani, bese uzimisele ngokuxolela lowo muntu. Ukuxolelwa akugcini ngokubakhulula emacaleni, kepha kukhulula nengcindezi nokukhathazeka okuza nalawo magqubu.
Futhi, ukubamba igqubu isikhathi eside kungabeka isithunzi sokungabaza nganoma iyiphi ingxoxo emshadweni phakathi kwabashadile.
Musa: Thatha sengathi oshade naye ungumfundi wezingqondo
Impela, useneminyaka engama-25 ushadile, kepha lokho akusho ukuthi noma yiliphi iqembu lingasebenzisa ukucabanga ukubona ngaphakathi kwengqondo yabanye. Uma unokuthile okusengqondweni yakho, futhi umlingani wakho engakuthandi, yiba oqondile.
Futhi, ukwethulwa kwanoma iyiphi ingxoxo emshadweni kufanele kwenziwe ngendlela enakekelayo ukuze bobabili abalingani bangaphenduli ngokuzivikela. Kepha ungahlali phansi, upheke, futhi ubambele umlingani wakho ngoba abayiqedi imizwa yakho.
Khulumela phezulu. Imvamisa. Musa ukulinda ukuthi zikuvule bese ubheka ngaphakathi kwengqondo yakho. Udinga ukuthi ibhola ligingqike uma kukhulunywa ngezingxoxo onomuzwa wokuthi zidinga ukwenzeka. Ungacabanga ukuthi uma bekuthanda ngokwanele, kufanele bakwazi ukwazi ukuthi kwenzekani phakathi kwezindlebe zakho. Kepha empeleni, uma ubuthandile kubo ngokwanele, ubungabasiza ubatshele ukuthi kwenzekani. Kuyindlela engcono yokugwema ukucasuka kubo bobabili abathintekayo. Sebenzisa lowo mlomo wakho!