-Delile
- Incazelo yendaba
- 3 Izizathu zokuthi kungani izinto zenzeka
- 1. Inkanuko
- 2. Ezothando nezothando
- 3. Ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo
- Kuhlala isikhathi esingakanani ukuthandana kwabantu abashadile?
- Ziqala kanjani izindaba phakathi kwabantu abashadile?
- Isibonelo 1
- Ziphela kanjani izindaba zabantu abashadile?
- 1. Ukuzibophezela emshadweni
- 2. Unembeza wokuziphatha
- 3.Isehlukaniso Nokuphinda Ushade
- Yimaphi amaphesenti emishado asinda ezindabeni?
- Imiphumela etholakele ezindabeni lapho zombili izinhlangothi zishadile
- 1. Izindaba zithinta imindeni emibili
- 2. Kungadala izinkinga zomthetho
- 3. Ingozi eyengeziwe yokuthola i-STD
- 4. Izinkinga zecala nezempilo yengqondo
- Okubalulekile
Ukuthandana kwabantu ababili abashadile kungaholela kuphi?
Impendulo yalo mbuzo ihlolwe kaningi ezincwadini, ezinhlelweni ze-TV nakumabhayisikobho. Kodwa-ke, izinto zehlukile uma zingenzeki endaweni yenganekwane.
Ukuthandana kungashintsha impilo futhi kungakuphoqa ukuthi ukhethe phakathi koshade naye nesithandwa sakho. Lo mbhalo uzobheka imiphumela yezindaba lapho bobabili abantu beshadile futhi uzokhanyisa kabanzi ngezindaba zomshado.
Incazelo yendaba
Ngaphambi kokuba sibheke imiphumela yezindaba phakathi kwendoda eshadile nowesifazane oshadile, okokuqala kubalulekile ukuchaza incazelo yegama elithi “indaba”.
Imvamisa, ukujola kuvame ukuba ubudlelwano bothando nothile ongeyena umlingani wakho.
Izindaba zivame ukwenzeka lapho umuntu oyedwa engakwazi ukufeza izidingo zakhe ezigcwalisiwe kusuka ebudlelwaneni bakhe obuyinhloko futhi afune omunye umuntu ukuhlangabezana nalezo zidingo.
3 Izizathu zokuthi kungani izinto zenzeka
Ingabe nobabili nishadile futhi niyathandana?
Ngaphambi kokuba sishade futhi sijole, kufanele siqale sikhulume ngokuthi kungani izinto zenzeka kwasekuqaleni nokuthi kungani abantu befuna induduzo nobambiswano ngaphandle komshado wabo.
Lezi zizathu zingasetshenziswa ukuhlukanisa lezi zindaba ngezinhlobo ezahlukene. Nazi izizathu ezivame kakhulu zokuthi kungani izindaba zenzeka.
1. Inkanuko
Izindaba ezivamile zivame ukuqhutshwa inkanuko, futhi akekho kulezi zinhlaka ezibucayi ngomunye nomunye. Ukuhlola ngokocansi nokuzijabulisa kuvame ukuba maphakathi nezindaba ezingajwayelekile. Inkanuko nokuzihlola ngokocansi kungaba esinye sezizathu esenza abantu babe nezindaba.
2. Ezothando nezothando
Uthando, noma uthando kuvame ukuba yimbangela yezindaba, noma ngabe zenzeka phakathi kwabantu ababili abashadile. Izindaba zezothando zibucayi kakhulu njengoba amaqembu evame ukubandakanyeka kwezothando futhi anakekelane ngokujulile. Imizwa engafuneki nayo ingangena ngaphansi kwalesi sigaba.
3. Ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo
Uma kukhulunywa ngezindaba ezingokomzwelo, ucansi ngokuvamile alukho enhliziyweni yalezi zindaba. Ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo phakathi kwalaba bantu ababili kungukuthi. Lezi zindaba zinamandla njengoba bobabili abantu babelana ngesibopho esingokomzwelo futhi bethandana ngokujulile.
Ubudlelwano bePlato, nabo, buba ngaphansi kwezindaba ezingokomzwelo lapho zifihliwe kumlingani wakho. Ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo phakathi kwabantu ababili abashadile kungaba yisizathu sokuthandana.
Le vidiyo ingakusiza uthole ukuthi kungani abantu benezindaba:
Ezimweni eziningi, izinto zenzeka lapho kunemifantu esisekelweni somshado wakho. Abanye abantu baphendukela ekubeni nezindaba ngenkathi beshadile, lapho izidingo zabo zingatholakali ebudlelwaneni babo bokuqala noma emshadweni.
Abantu banezindaba ngezizathu ezihlukile.
Ucwaningo lwakamuva luthole ukuthi abantu besifazane babe nobudlelwano lapho bezizwa ukuthi ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nokukhulumisana kushoda ebudlelwaneni babo obuyinhloko. Ezinye izizathu zifaka ukukhathala, ukuhlukunyezwa, umlando omubi ngezocansi, nokungabi nentshisekelo yocansi kumlingani wabo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, amadoda anezindaba lapho ecindezelekile, ezwa ukuntuleka kokuxhumana noma ukusondelana ngokomzwelo. babhekane nokungasebenzi ngokocansi, noma bakhathele ngokungapheli.
Ukuzizwa ungavunyelwe noma ungafuneki mhlawumbe isizathu esikhulu esenza abantu baphambuke.
Kuhlala isikhathi esingakanani ukuthandana kwabantu abashadile?
Lapho bobabili abashadile beshadile, izindaba azihlali isikhathi eside kakhulu ngoba ziyinkimbinkimbi kunezindaba zendabuko.
Kodwa-ke, izibalo zikhomba ukuthi phakathi kuka-60-75% wemishado usinda othandweni.
Ngakho-ke, amathuba ezindaba phakathi kwemibhangqwana eshadile ephumelela aphansi. Ngokuvamile kukholelwa ukuthi zonke izinhlobo zezindaba zihlala isikhathi esifushane njengoba izindaba ziza nezinselelo eziningana.
Ngokusho kochwepheshe, izindaba eziningi phakathi kwabantu abashadile zivame ukuhlala cishe unyaka, zinike noma zithathe.
Ziqala kanjani izindaba phakathi kwabantu abashadile?
Ngabe ninabantu ababili abashadile abathandanayo? Kuqala kanjani?
Lapho bobabili abashadile beshadile, izindaba zivame ukuqala lapho bobabili bengagculisekile ngomshado wabo futhi bakhe isibopho esingokomzwelo. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi indaba ngayinye ihlukile.
Ake sibheke izibonelo ezimbalwa zemibhangqwana enezindaba.
Isibonelo 1
USamantha noDavid basebenzela inkampani yabeluleki abahlonishwayo futhi bahlangana lapho besebenzela iklayenti elifanayo. Imihlangano yangezikhathi zokugcina nezikhathi ezibekiwe zabaletha basondelana, base beba ngabangani base beqala ukuvulelana izifuba ngokuqhekeka kwemishado yabo.
Isikhathi abasichitha ndawonye, basondelana kakhulu. Bobabili bezwa sengathi bangakhuluma nganoma yini.
Bobabili uSamantha noDavid babenezidingo ezahlala zingagcwaliseki emishadweni yabo, okuyindlela abaqala ngayo ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo.
Isibonelo 2
UClarissa noMark bahlangana kusayithi lokuphola. Bobabili bebeshadile futhi bebefuna injabulo empilweni.Umyeni kaClarissa wayehamba kakhulu eya ebhizinisini, futhi wazizwa enesizungu.
UMark wayengezwani kakhulu nonkosikazi wakhe - noma nini lapho bekhuluma, babegcina bexabene. Bobabili uMark noClarissa babecabanga ukuthi uhlelo lwabo luphelele njengoba bengazijabulisa ohlangothini bese bebuyela ekhaya kwimishado yabo.
KuClarissa noMark, umoya wokuzidela yiwona owabahlanganisa.
Isibonelo 3
KuJanice noMatthew, izinto zaqala zahlukile. Bobabili bebengabangane abakhulu kusukela esikoleni futhi bashada nabathandekayo babo basekolishi futhi bejabule.
Kuze kube yilapho imishado yabo yomibili iqala ukubhidlika, futhi bathola ukwesekwa nobungane komunye nomunye. Ngokungazelelwe, baba ngaphezu kwabangane nje ngemuva kokuba sezimpilweni zomunye nomunye isikhathi esingaphezu kweminyaka eyishumi.
Endabeni kaMatthew noJane, ubungane nokusondelana okusondele kakhulu kwabahlanganisa.
Iqiniso ukuthi, izindaba ziqala ngezizathu ezahlukahlukene. Azikho izindaba ezimbili ezifanayo.
Uma ushadile kodwa ufuna ukuthandana, kungahle kube khona imifantu ekhona esisekelweni somshado wakho edinga ukulungiswa.
Ziphela kanjani izindaba zabantu abashadile?
Izindaba zivame ukukhohlisa ukugcina imfihlo, ngoba abashadayo bavamise ukugcina bathola ngabo noma okungenani babe nomkhondo wokuthi kwenzekani.
1. Ukuzibophezela emshadweni
Izindaba ngokuvamile azihlali isikhathi eside njengoba iqiniso ngazo cishe njalo zivela.
Iningi lezindaba lapho zombili izinhlangothi zishadile zigcina ngesinqumo esivela kumlingani--kungaba yibo noma yimi. Kumacala angama-75%, abantu bagcina bebuyela emishadweni yabo nakwabashade nabo ngenxa yezingane, izimpahla zezimali ezabiwe, umlando, njll.
Abantu bavame ukubuyela kwabalingani babo ukuyosebenza emshadweni wabo ochithekile futhi bawakhe kabusha kusuka phansi.
2. Unembeza wokuziphatha
Ezinye izindaba nazo ziyaphela ngenxa yehlazo necala.
Imvamisa, isisekelo somlingani oyedwa noma unembeza wokuziphatha awukwazi ukuvumela udaba luqhubeke njengoba lungalungile.
Imvamisa baqala ukuzizwa benecala ngokukhohlisa umuntu abathandana naye bese beqeda ukuthandana lapho – ngaphambi kokuthi batholakale noma ngabe bebethandana nomuntu athandana naye.
3.Isehlukaniso Nokuphinda Ushade
Inani elincane lezindaba ligcina kubo bobabili amaqembu ahlukanisa abalingani bawo futhi ashade.
Ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo phakathi kwala maqembu womabili ngokuvamile kuyisici esibagcina behlangene bobabili. Lokhu kujwayelekile uma kwenzeka bobabili abashadile bekhohlisa.
Yimaphi amaphesenti emishado asinda ezindabeni?
Abantu abaningi babuyela kwabashade nabo ngemuva kokuthandana - noma ngabe imfihlo yokungathembeki kwabo seyembuliwe.
Ngokocwaningo lwakamuva, imishado engama-60-75% iyakwazi ukusinda ezindabeni zemishado.
Abantu abangathembekanga kumlingani wabo bavame ukuba nomuzwa wokuthi bakweleta abalingani babo ukwenza izinto zisebenze futhi bazame kanzima ukusebenzela umshado wabo. Kwezinye izimo, kuba yicala elisebenza njengeglu eligcina umshado ubumbene.
Vele, umshado kufanele ubhekane nezinkinga eziningi ezingeziwe, njengokungathembani, intukuthelo, intukuthelo, imizwa yokukhaphela, njll.
Isikhathi (kanye nokwelashwa) kuphulukisa wonke amanxeba.
Kungathatha iminyaka ukuthi umndeni wakho ululame emanxebeni angaphakathi ashiywe yizindaba. Izindaba azigcini ngokuthinta oshade naye, kepha zithinta nobudlelwano bakho nezingane.
Ezimweni eziningi, ukwelashwa emshadweni nasemndenini kungasiza umndeni ukuthi uhambisane nemiphumela yalolu cwaningo njengeyunithi.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukubekezela, ukungaguquguquki, nokuzikhandla, umshado ungasinda ebudlelwaneni.
Imiphumela etholakele ezindabeni lapho zombili izinhlangothi zishadile
Abantu bavame ukuqala izindaba ngaphandle kokucabanga ngemiphumela abazobhekana nayo kamuva. Iningi labantu lichaza izindaba zabo njengezenzeka ngokuzenzakalela. Kodwa-ke, beza nemiphumela eminingana.
1. Izindaba zithinta imindeni emibili
Lolu daba aluthinti imindeni eyodwa kodwa imindeni emibili-ikakhulukazi uma kunezingane ezihilelekile. Noma umshado usinda kuleso simo, kusazoba inselele ukudlula kuwo.
Isiphetho semishado sixhomeke kwabashadile kuphela. Ngenkathi omunye umbhangqwana ungafuna ukunika umshado wawo ithuba lesibili, omunye anganquma ukuwubiza ngokuthi uyeke.
Izindaba zingakhathaza ngokomzwelo kuyo yomibili imindeni. Kwezinye izimo, izingane zazo zombili izinhlangothi zingazana, okungadala izinkinga ezithe xaxa.
2. Kungadala izinkinga zomthetho
Ukuphinga namanje akukho emthethweni kwezinye izifundazwe zase-US, ngakho-ke indaba yakho ingaholela nasemiphumeleni yezomthetho.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuhlukumezeka okungokomzwelo okubangelwe yimindeni ethintekayo akunakulinganiswa.
3. Ingozi eyengeziwe yokuthola i-STD
Ukuba nabalingani abaningi kwenza ubungozi bokuthola isifo esithathelwana ngocansi okungathi kwesinye isikhathi kube yingozi.
4. Izinkinga zecala nezempilo yengqondo
Uma ugcina ukukopela oshade naye, ungazizwa unecala futhi ukuthola kunzima ukwehluleka. Icala lingathinta nempilo yakho yengqondo.
Okubalulekile
Lapho bobabili abantu beshadile, izindaba zingaba nzima kakhulu - ikakhulukazi lapho omunye wabalingani abakhashelwe ebamba. Imiphumela yezindaba ezinjalo ingakucindezela emoyeni, futhi ugcine ulimaze abantu abaningi.
Ukwelulekwa kwezithandani kungakusiza uphefumulele impilo entsha emshadweni wakho, kanti ukwelulekwa ngawodwana kungakusiza uqonde amaphethini akho ukuze ukwazi ukuwanqoba.