-Delile
- Kuyini ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano
- Ukwelashwa kwezithandani nokwelulekwa ngemishado
- Kuphumelela kangakanani ukwelulekwa ngomshado
- 1. Omunye akanandaba nokwelulekwa ngokomqondo
- 2. Omunye akafuni ukuthi umshado usebenze
- 3. Omunye unezisusa ezingezinhle
- 4. Umeluleki wemishado ochemile
Kunezimo lapho izingxabano eziqhubekayo zobudlelwano phakathi kwabalingani kuholela ekudaleni uqhekeko phakathi kwabalingani, ekugcineni kuholele ekuhlukaniseni. Kepha eminye imibhangqwana icabanga ukuthi isehlukaniso akuyona inketho futhi izama ezinye izindlela zokubhekana nezinkinga zabo zobudlelwano.
Ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano, ngokwesibonelo, ingenye ye- izindlela ezinhle zokusiza imibhangqwana thola okuseduze nokuphelele izixazululo ekusingatheni izinkinga zabo. Futhi, uma ucela izimpendulo kubangani bakho nasemindenini yakho, enye yezinto abazokuphakamisa yona ukufuna izinsizakalo zokweluleka ngomshado.
Ngaphandle kokwazi noma okunye, kwezinye izimo, abantu banokholo ku ulwazi lochwepheshe lwe i abelaphi.
Kepha, ukuqonda konke Inhloso yokwelulekwa izithandani kuthanda kuphela ukukuqondisa ekubuzeni imibuzo efanele nasekukhipheni isisombululo esifanele esifanele inkinga yakho. Phela, bonke ubuhlobo buhlukile, kanjalo nezinkinga zabo nezixazululo zabo.
Kuyini ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano
Ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano uhlobo lwe ukwelashwa kokukhuluma. Lapha bobabili abalingani bathola ithuba hlola i amandla ahlukile yabo ubuhlobo futhi qonda i izinhlobo zokuxhumana ngazinye.
Ngezikhathi eziningana zezingxoxo ezizimele neziphephile, abeluleki bezobudlelwano bazoholela ophathina ezinkingeni zabo kancane kancane.
Ukukhuluma kahle eyakho izinkinga isiza ku ukuqonda kangcono i nezindaba futhi thola shintsha izindlela zokubhekana kubo.
Ngesikhathi sokuphikisana, imibhangqwana elwayo ivame ukusebenzisa kakhulu amagama angafanele, kodwa baphume sekushisa umzuzu. Ukukhethwa kwamagama asetshenziswe engxoxweni noma ngesikhathi sezimpikiswano kungaxazulula noma khulisa i isimo esibi.
Ukucabanga ngesimo esifanayo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuzokwenza ubone ukuthi ubuziphethe kabi kangakanani. Futhi, usisingathe ngokungafanele kanjani lesi simo.
Ezikhathini zokwelulekwa ngobuhlobo, umelaphi uzo ngikusize uku bona izingqinambakusuka a umbono ohlukile futhi ndikuqondise ekusingatheni amacala anjalo ngendlela engcono.
Ukwelashwa kwezithandani nokwelulekwa ngemishado
Ngaphambi kokuzama ngokujulile izinzuzo futhi ukusebenza kokwelulekwa kwezobudlelwano, kubalulekile ukuqonda umehluko phakathi kokwelashwa kwezithandani nokwelulekwa ngemishado. Abantu bavame ukuxuba lawa magama amabili. Kepha, ake ngikuqinisekise ukuthi kukhona umugqa omncane wokwehluka okhona phakathi kwabo.
Ngakho-ke ukuqala ngokwelulekwa ngobudlelwano noma ukwelulekwa ngomshado -
Ukwelulekwa ngomshado igxila kakhulu ochungechungeni lwamanje lwemicimbi futhi ayingeni emlandweni wabashadikazi. Amakhambi noma izixazululo zinikelwa izinselelo eziqhubekayo. Kufana nokulungisa imiphumela emibi yesifo esibizwa ngeCancer kepha ungasinaki isifo esiyinhloko uqobo.
Ukwelashwa kwezithandani, ngakolunye uhlangothi, izobhekana ngqo ne imbangela yombango wobudlelwano. Abeluleki bezithandani banomuzwa wokuthi zonke izinkinga okubhekenwe nazo njengamanje zinomlando obambe iqhaza ekwakheni i- amaphethini angenampilo ebudlelwaneni.
Zombili izinqubo eziqhubekayo, kuya ngemibhangqwana enezinkinga uqobo. Futhi, bobabili babelana ngenhloso efanayo, okungukuthi, ukusiza imibhangqwana ukulwa futhi ukunqoba imizwa futhi izithiyo ezingokwengqondo emshadweni wabo.
Ukuqhubeka, ake sibhekane nombuzo olandelayo obalulekile emgqeni wengxoxo - Ngabe ukwelulekwa ngemishado kuyasebenza? Noma ingabe ukwelashwa kwezithandani kuyasebenza?
Kuphumelela kangakanani ukwelulekwa ngomshado
Inhloso enkulu yokwelulekwa ngobudlelwano ukusiza umshado wakho. Izinga lempumelelo lokwelulekwa ngemishado lithembisa impela.
Ngokwesibonelo -
Ngokusho kwe-American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, iziguli ezingama-93% ezihloliwe, zavuma ukuthi zithole usizo olufanele eziludingayo. Futhi, ama-98% alabo okuhloliwe banelisekile ngakho konke ukwelulekwa.
Kepha ukuqinisekisa ukusebenza ye ukwelulekwa kwezobudlelwano Kunzima. Futhi, kuya kakhulu ngezimpendulo ezinikezwe imibhangqwana ethatha lezo zikhathi. Futhi, njengobuphi ubudlelwano nobungoti bomshado, uDkt Gottman uthi, isikhathi yikho konke ukunquma ukuthi cha noma cha ukwelulekwa ngomshado kuyasebenza.
Eminye imibhangqwana khetha ukwelulekwa kwezobudlelwano kuphela lapho behlangabezana nezinkinga ezinkulu zobudlelwano. Kepha, ikakhulukazi, ukwelulekwa kuyalandelwa lapho bobabili noma bobabili bacabanga ngokuhlukana noma isehlukaniso.
Futhi, abanye imibhangqwana igwema izingxabano ngokuphelele ukuvimbela intukuthelo ekungeneleni ebudlelwaneni babo. Kepha, uMichele Weiner Davis, umbhali weThe Divorce Remedy, uveza ukuthi umkhuba we ukugwema izingxabano kubuyela emuva ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabantu. Abantu abanjalo, uma behudulelwa ngezikhathi zokwelulekwa ngobuhlobo, mancane amathuba okuthi baphendule ngokunembile imibuzo ye-Therapist.
Ngakho-ke singasho ukuthi ukwelulekwa kungasiza ku ukulungisa ubudlelwano. Kepha kunezimo lapho izenzo zomunye noma zombili izinhlangothi zizocekela phansi inqubo yokwelulekwa futhi zilimaze umshado kakhulu.
Ingabe ukwelulekwa ngomshado kuyasebenza?
Njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, i- impumelelo yokwelulekwa ngomshado kuya ngohlobo lwempendulo imibhangqwana eliyinikezayo esimisweni ngasinye.
Masiqonde izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokuphendula umuntu angazibona ngesikhathi sokululekwa kwabashadikazi.
1. Omunye akanandaba nokwelulekwa ngokomqondo
Ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano kusebenza kahle kakhulu lapho bobabili indoda nowesifazane bevumelana landela ukwelulekwa ukubhekana nezinkinga emshadweni. Uma umuntu oyedwa engenandaba nale nqubo, ukwelulekwa kungaba nzima kakhulu kunalokho okudingeka kube njalo.
Ngesikhathi sokwelulekwa, imibhangqwana kudingeka yabelane ngezinkinga zayo, ilalelane futhi yenze umsebenzi wesikole odingekayo lungisa umshado. Uma umuntu oyedwa engatshalwanga kule nqubo, imiphumela edingekayo ngeke ibonakale.
2. Omunye akafuni ukuthi umshado usebenze
Kwesinye isikhathi umuntu oyedwa noma bobabili emshadweni baxazulule ezingqondweni zabo ukuthi umshado usuphelile. Ukuncenga omunye umlingani, amalungu omndeni noma ngezizathu zenkolo, ukwelulekwa kuyalandelwa.
Lapho othile enombono wokuthi umshado usuphelile, ngeke abone ukufaneleka kokwelulekwa futhi ngizovele ngihambe ngokuhamba.
Lokhu kungakhungathekisa kalula omunye umlingani, umeluleki kanye ne inqubo yokwelulekwa.
3. Omunye unezisusa ezingezinhle
I- isizathu sokwelulekwa kwezobudlelwano Okwabantu bobabili ukuthi bafune usizo lomuntu wesithathu futhi basebenze ndawonye ukulungisa ubuhlobo.
Ukwelulekwa ngokwengqondo kuwukusebenzisana ngokubambisana nenhloso ezuzisayo.
Kodwa-ke, lapho othile enezisusa ezingezinhle, njengokufakazela ukuthi uqinisile, enethemba lokutshela oshade naye lokho abakufunayo, lapho-ke Ukwelulekwa kuzobe kungaphumeleli kangako. Kwezinye izimo, oshade naye angasebenzisa ukwelulekwa njengendlela yokutshela omunye ukuthi yena noma ufuna isehlukaniso noma ukuthi yena noma uyajola, ithemba ukuthi elinye iqembu lizokhawulelwa yimpendulo yalo ngenkathi lisenkampanini yomuntu wesithathu.
Noma ngabe yisiphi isisusa esingemuva, lokhu kungadala ukulimala okuqhubekayo. Futhi, kunezici ezithile zangaphandle ezinjengomeluleki wobudlelwano obuchemile.
4. Umeluleki wemishado ochemile
I- umeluleki womshado ofanele ungakhethi futhi usebenza ngokungathathi hlangothi ukusiza abashadikazi ukuxazulula izingqinamba zabo.
Kodwa-ke, lapho a umeluleki wemishado wethula, noma ngabe kuyabonakala noma kungenjalo, izenzo noma amagama azovumela omunye wabashadile ukuthi akholelwe ukuthi umeluleki ungakolunye uhlangothi, inqubo yokwelulekwa isengozini.
Lokhu kungenzeka ezimeni lapho ukwelulekwa kuphethwe ngumuntu owazi lo mbhangqwana noma umeluleki womshado okhethwe ngumlingani oyedwa ngaphandle kokufaka komunye umlingani.