-Delile
- Ukungabi nalutho kuzala ukunganaki
- Kuyini ukuhlunga okungalungile?
- Ungamisa kanjani ukunganaki ekubulaleni ubudlelwano bakho
- Izindlela zokugcina ukunganaki kungabikho ebuhlotsheni bakho
Ukungabi bikho kwamandla kalula kungakhula kube yingxenye egcwele yobudlelwano bakho unganakile. Ukugxekwa nokusolwa kuvame ukuthethelelwa ezikhathini ezinzima, kungaphezu kokwanele ukudala ukungaxhumani phakathi kwabalingani.
Ngaphandle kokudlula ekushintsheni noma izingcindezi ezingalindelekile (isb.Ukulahleka kwemisebenzi), ukungabi nalutho okusalile kungahlala ngemuva kokuthi izinto zixazululiwe (okusho ukuthola umsebenzi). Ukunganaki okunjalo kungadla kuze kufike ezingeni lapho ukhohlwa kalula ukuthi yini edonsele wena nozakwenu ekuqaleni.
Imibhangqwana eminingi ebhekene nokunganaki ebudlelwaneni ivame ukuchaza umuzwa wokuthi ayikho indlela yokuphuma. Kungafaniswa nokugibela imoto lapho umzuzwana owodwa ushayela kahle futhi ngokulandelayo, usohlangothini lomgwaqo ngentuthu ephuma ophahleni. Kungazizwa kungazelelwe, kepha kungenzeka ukuthi udebeselele ukugcinwa kanye nokuhlolwa kukawoyela ohambweni lobudlelwano bakho.
Mhlawumbe ucela umlingani wakho ukuthi acoshe izinto ezithile ozidingayo ngesidlo sakusihlwa babuye bengekho isithako. Ungase uphendule ngokuthi “Awunaki!” Umlingani wakho angabe esephendula ngokuthi “Awujabuli neze NGEKE ngenze noma yini engiyenzayo! Akunakwenzeka ukujabulisa! ”
Yimuphi umlando owususayo kusukela ngesikhathi sokuthola into elahlekile? Ingabe inegethivu ngokuphelele? Uyakwazisa yini ukuthi umlingani wakho uthole okungama-95% walokho obukudingayo? Noma kungukuthatha okuhamba phambili umlingani wakho akuvumela phansi njalo?
Uma ujwayele ukugxila kulokho “ongenakho” (isithako esilahlekile), leyo ngqikithi ingazenzela kalula impilo yayo ebuhlotsheni bakho ngezinga elikhulu. Ukubhekana nokunganaki ebudlelwaneni akuyona into eningi eyenzekayo kepha kuyinkinga yesimo sengqondo. Ukuqonda ukuthi ungakugcina kanjani ukunganaki emshadweni wakho udinga ukuqonda ukuthi ukungasebenzi kahle kusebenza kanjani.
Ukungabi nalutho kuzala ukunganaki
Ukungabi nalutho kuzala ukungabi nalutho okwengeziwe futhi uma sekuqala ukuvela, kungadala umonakalo ekuxhumaneni, ekusondeleni nasekuxazululeni izingxabano. Icala kungenzeka lingaqambi amanga ebuhlotsheni bakho, kungahle kubangelwe ubushushu emsebenzini noma nabangani. Lawo mandla angakulandela ngaphandle komthungo, angene ebudlelwaneni bakho nasekuxhumaneni kwansuku zonke. Ukungabi nalutho obhekene nakho kweminye imikhakha yakho yempilo kungaguqula ngokushesha kube ukubhekana nokunganaki ebudlelwaneni.
Ukubhekana nokunganaki ebudlelwaneni akukubi ngokwako kuphela, kepha futhi kuvimbela ukuhamba kwemizwa emihle. Uma iningi lesikhala sakho sengqondo namandla egxile kokushodayo nasezikhathini ezidumazayo, uzoba negumbi elincane kakhulu ukubona ukuthi yini enhle.
Lokhu kungakushiya kumjikelezo ongapheli wokuhlunga okungalungile.
Kuyini ukuhlunga okungalungile?
Kuchazwa kangcono njengokuvimba konke okuhle nokuvumela kuphela imininingwane engemihle ukuthi inamathiselwe kokuhlangenwe nakho. Isibonelo, umlingani wakho angahle aphawule ngokuthi kudliwe kanjani isidlo sakusihlwa, kepha umcabango wakho wokuqala uthi, bekungaba ngcono ukube ubuyitholile iparsley.
Kungani sikwazi ukukhumbula izikhathi ezibuhlungu ebuhlotsheni bethu nenkumbulo enkulu, imininingwane ecacile, nemizwelo kunesikhathi esimnandi? Kungani izinkumbulo zokubhekana nokunganaki ebudlelwaneni zithatha izinkumbulo ezinhle?
Ubuchopho bethu busabela kuzisusa ezimbi ezinamandla kakhulu kunokuhle njengecebo lokusinda. Yenzelwe ukusigcina sisengozini, ngakho-ke noma yini ekhombisa usongo noma ingozi izokhunjulwa kakhulu.
Ngakho-ke yini ongayenza uma kukhona okunye kwalokhu okuzwakala kujwayelekile ebudlelwaneni bakho? Okokuqala, kufanele uzibuze, "Ngabe nizama ukuxazulula izingqinamba ezisemqoka noma nimane nisezinhlelweni zokukhononda?"
Ungamisa kanjani ukunganaki ekubulaleni ubudlelwano bakho
Kubalulekile ukuthi wazi umehluko phakathi kokukhononda (noma ukugxeka) ngokukhombisa ukukhathazeka ngokwephula umjikelezo wokunganaki ebudlelwaneni bakho. Ukukhononda kuzwakala ngathi, “Uhlale ungiphoxa! Awuthembekile! ”
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuveza ukukhathazeka kugqamisa imizwa yakho, izidingo zakho, futhi kugcine ngesinyathelo esenzekalayo noma isenzo ukuze ube nezikhathi ozithandayo. Kungakhathaza ukuthi, “Ngizizwa ngingahlonishwa uma ungahambisani nokuhlanza emva kokudla kwakusihlwa. Ungakwazi ukugeza izitsha ekuseni ngaphambi kokuya emsebenzini uma ungakulungele lokhu kusihlwa? ”
Izindlela zokugcina ukunganaki kungabikho ebuhlotsheni bakho
Njengompetha womndeni womshado onelayisense, ngivame ukuphonsela inselelo imibhangqwana ebhekene nokunganaki ebudlelwaneni, ukuqala ngokuzibophezela evikini "lokungakhalazi". Abaningi bayathakazelwa ukubona ukuthi kungaba nzima kanjani. Lolu hlobo lokuzivocavoca lungakusiza ukuthi uhlole ukuhlunga kwakho okungekuhle futhi uqonde ukuthi ukhononda kangakanani kunokuveza ukukhathazeka.
Qaphela ukuthi kukho konke ukuphawula noma isikhalazo esibi, kudingeka ukuxhumana okuhle okuyisihlanu ukugcina ubudlelwane obuzinzile nobunempilo, ngokusho kukaDkt.John Gottman, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esenze ucwaningo olunzulu ngempilo yezobudlelwano.
Njengoba uqala ukukhipha ngamabomu isikhalazo, uzokwenza indawo eningi yokubona amandla ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi wazise izinto ozibaluleke kakhulu kumlingani wakho. Umuzwa ocasulayo wokubhekana nokunganaki ebudlelwaneni ekugcineni uzokwehla.
Empeleni, kufanele kube khona "igesi yothando" eyanele ethangini ukuze ukwazi ukudlula lapho kwenzeka isimo sezulu esibi. Uma ufuna ukwazi kabanzi ngokuthi ungakunciphisa kanjani ukunganaki futhi ugcwalise ubudlelwano bakho ngokuvumelana okwengeziwe, bheka "Amathiphu Ama-3 Okumisa Ukukhononda Ngaphambi Kokuthi Akuqede ”