-Delile
Ngabe uvame ukuzibuza ukuthi kuyini ukusondelana ngokomzwelo? noma kuyini ukusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni? nokuthi ungakha kanjani ukusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni?
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuhlobene nokuxhumeka onakho nomlingani wakho, futhi kuhlobene nemizwa yothando nothando. Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni kudala umbono wokusondelana phakathi kwalezi zithandani okubuye kuhumushe kube yimizwa yokwethembana, ukuphepha nothando.
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kusebenza njengesibuko kumphefumulo wabalingani bakho futhi kukhombisa amathemba abo, amaphupho abo, kanye nokwesaba kwabo. Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kungaxhuma futhi kunciphe phakathi nesikhathi sonke; futhi kuyo yonke imishado, kunezigaba lapho umuzwa wokubambisana kwabashadikazi emshadweni untuleka.
Ukuntuleka kokusondelana ngokomzwelo kuvame ukwenzeka ngaphambi kokuncipha kokwethembana, ukuxhumana okungekuhle. Ukungabi nokusondelana ngokomzwelo futhi kungaba ngumphumela wemizwa engaxazululiwe noma izingxabano. Kungaba ngumphumela webhizinisi noma ukungabi nesikhathi, lapho ezinye izinto eziseqhulwini empilweni sezithathe kuqala, kuphazamisa umshado.
Ezinye zezimpawu ezivamile zokuthi umshado wakho ungahle ungabi nokusondelana ngokomzwelo yilezi:
- Umuzwa wokuba kude nomlingani wakho.
- Ukungabi sobala ngokomzwelo
- Umlingani wakho akazivezi ngokwanele
- Izimpilo zakho seziyaxhuma kakhulu noma azithandelani
- Ukungabi nokusondelana ngokomzimba
- Awunazo izinto zokuzilibazisa noma izintshisekelo ezabiwe
- Akukho ukulalela okusebenzayo okwanele
Esimeni esinjalo bobabili abalingani kufanele bazame ukugcina futhi ukwakha ukusondelana emshadweni. Ukwakha ukusondelana emshadweni noma ukudala ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuqala ngokuxazulula ukungabi bikho kokomzwelo emshadweni wakho.
Lapho wena nomlingani wakho senibonile ukuntuleka kokusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni wenu, ziningi izindlela zokwakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni.
Ukwakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo
Ukubaluleka kwe- ukusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni akunakugcizelelwa ngokwanele, hhayi nje kuphela ukuthi kubalulekile emshadweni kepha futhi nasenhlalakahleni yomuntu ngamunye. Njengoba kuchaziwe phambilini ukuthi ukwazi ukuthi ungakha kanjani ukusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni wakho kufanele uqale uqonde ukuthi yini imbangela ehlotshaniswa nokuntuleka kokusondelana ngokomzwelo.
Okwamanje zikhona izindlela ezimbalwa zokunikeza umshado wakho umfutho odingeka kakhulu wokusondelana ngokomzwelo:
- Khuluma iqiniso lakho
Abeluleki abaningi bezokwelapha nezobudlelwano beluleka imibhangqwana ukuthi "ikhulume amaqiniso ayo", okusho ukuthi lapho kuvela umuzwa, akufanele ibanjwe. Esikhundleni salokho kufanele idluliswe ngokushesha okukhulu, ngendlela engeyona esongelayo. Kunezindlela ezahlukahlukene okufanele zenziwe ngazo khuluma iqiniso lakho, kuchazwe ngezansi.
- Izitatimende
Indlela amaqiniso adluliswa ngayo ibaluleke njengokuxhumana uqobo. Ukugcina ukugxila kuwe kuwuphawu lwale filosofi, futhi kudinga ukugxila emuzwa kunokuba kugxile kumuntu noma ekuziphatheni komuntu.
Isibonelo, lokhu kungashiwo ngokuthi "iqiniso lami ukuthi ngizizwa nginesizungu uma ngichitha isikhathi esiningi endlini ngingedwa." Qhathanisa lesi sitatimende nalesi, "iqiniso lami ukuthi ngizizwa ngilahliwe uma uchitha isikhathi esiningi udlala igalofu."
Isisho sakamuva singakulungela kangcono ukuqala impikiswano, kanti isitatimende sokuqala sishiya ukuhumusha siye kozakwethu, sivule inkhulumomphendvulwano yengxoxo nesisombululo, futhi siqede ukusolwa kwesibalo.
Ungenza izibonelo zakho, usebenzisa imisho engenhla njengethempulethi ukuzijwayeza ukukhomba amagama angafakwa esikhundleni “sokunganakwa” kanye nengxenye ethi “wena” yale nkulumo. Zijwayeze ukwenza imisho egxile ekuboneni amagama emizwa (ngizizwa ngidabukile, ngikhathazekile, ngididekile, ngiphoxekile, ngithukuthele).
Ingxenye yesibili yalo mkhuba kufanele ifake imishwana eyehlisa ukusolwa, lapho ingxenye yesibili yomusho ingakhombisi umuntu noma indlela aziphethe ngayo njengokugxila kuyo futhi igweme izitatimende "wena".
- Indlela engavinjelwe
Imvamisa sihlangana nabantu ukugwema ukungqubuzana ngokugcina imicabango nemibono yethu iyimfihlo. Abanye abantu bakuthole kukhulula ukusebenzisa indlela ethembekile ezimweni ngokudlulisa umbono wabo ngokususelwa kulwazi lwabo, nokuthi yini ezwakala ilungile kubo.
Isibonelo salokhu kungaba ukwenza isitatimende esifana nokuthi, “Ngizizwa nginovalo lokuthi uzothukuthela ungithethise lapho ngiveza ukukhathazeka kwami ngezezimali zethu.”
Yize lokhu kuqukethe isitatimende esithi "wena", le ndlela ingahle ukukhuthaza ukuzethemba nokuqiniseka kubantu abanomlando wokugcina imizwa yabo, noma obani abanezinkinga ebudlelwaneni obususelwe ekwehlulekeni ukukhomba nokuveza imibono.
- Gxila ekubeni ngokoqobo, hhayi ekulungeni
Noma nini lapho sikhuluma amaqiniso ethu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi siziveze ngokweqiniso, kunokugxila ekulungeni. Imibono iyimibono, futhi iyehluka kumuntu nomuntu.
- Ukucabangela nokuphatha
Ukuba nozwela nokukhumbula ukuthi omunye umuntu angazizwa kanjani noma enze njani kuyadingeka lapho uveza amaqiniso. Ukucacisa ukuqonda kwakho noma ukukhathazeka ngemizwa yomunye umuntu nakho kuyasiza.
Akufanele neze uzame ukukhohlisa noma ukushintsha imizwa noma imizwa yomunye; leli akulona isu elisebenzayo futhi akulona ukugxila ekukhulumeni iqiniso lakho. Khumbula, iqiniso lakho livela kumagugu akho nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho.
- Yenza isikhathi futhi utholakale
Usuku lwasebusuku lubalulekile, kepha-ke udinga ukwephula isembozo salo msebenzi wesiko. Thola imisebenzi emisha nejabulisayo lapho wena noshade naye nibhekane kuphela futhi ningaphazanyiswa izingcingo, ama-imeyili, noma ezinye izinkathazo zomhlaba. Ukwenza okuthile okunenjongo kuzokusiza ukuxhuma kabusha nomlingani wakho futhi kukukhumbuze ngezingcindezi ezijwayelekile.
Ngokufanayo, uku ukwandisa ukusondelana ngokomzwelo, kwesinye isikhathi iya ngaphezu nangaphezulu ukuze itholakale kuwe noshade naye. Futhi, umqondo ngukuphula isikhuthazi sosuku lwakho lokuphila kwansuku zonke futhi wenze okuthile okumangaza umlingani wakho futhi kubakhumbuze ukuthi kusho ukuthini kuwe.