-Delile
Bathi kunemishado emihle, kepha ayikho imishado ejabulisayo. Eminyakeni edlule imibhangqwana eminingi eshadile izithola icwila ngokunganaki nokunganaki. Bazizwa bekhubazekile ngokungabi nathemba, ubudlelwano obungenanjabulo, ukungabi nentshisekelo nokuphila okuyisidina. Kuvamile ukuthi abantu abashadile babe nomuzwa wokuthi badela ithemba lokuthi bayoba nempilo yothando futhi bakhokhe inani elithandekayo lokuzinza kwabo ngokwezimali nangokomzwelo nenhlalakahle yezingane zabo.
Uthando olunosuku lokuphelelwa yisikhathi
Isazi sefilosofi esingumFulentshi uMichel Montaigne wathi abantu abakhungethwe uthando balahlekelwa izingqondo, kodwa umshado ubenza babone ukulahlekelwa. Kuyadabukisa kodwa kuyiqiniso - umshado uphethe isilinganiso esinamandla ngokweqile kangangokuba ungasongela impilo ekukhohlisweni kothando.
Imibhangqwana eminingi eshadile ithi imizwa yabo "yothando yafa". Kwesinye isikhathi imizwa ishintsha ngamandla futhi ngokungazelelwe futhi uthando lomuntu lungawa ngokungalindelekile lufe, kepha ezimweni eziningi, uthando lwezothando lushintsha lube kokunye - ngeshwa lungajabulisi kangako, kepha alunanzuzo.
Umbhangqwana odidekile ngokuphelele kuphela ongalindela isasasa lawo eliqinile lothando, inkanuko, nokuthatheka ukuze kuhlale kungashintshiwe yisikhathi nobunzima. Ngemuva kokuthokoza okudakayo njalo kuza isihenqo, njalo emva komshado ngemuva kweminyaka kulandelwa iminyaka neminyaka yenjwayelo yansuku zonke, ama-akhawunti asebhange ngokuhlanganyela, imisebenzi yasekhaya, izingane ezimemezayo namanabukeni angcolile.
Ubuhlungu be-head-over-izithende obuhlanyayo ngokuvamile buhlala ezinyangeni ezimbalwa kuye eminyakeni emibili. Kwemibhangqwana eminingi ebithandana isikhashana futhi ihlala ndawonye, ukuthatheka okuqinile kothando yi-D.O.A. ngosuku lwabo lomshado.
Nayi inkinga yangempela yomshado - ungayishintsha kanjani indawo yokuncoma inkosana / inkosazana ethandekayo nothando lwangempela lwenyama engaphelele yangempela nomlingani wegazi.
Ungayenza kanjani i-CPRR uthando
Eminye imibhangqwana ibheka uthando lwayo njengesidalwa esizimele esingaphila noma sibulawe yindlala nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, ngaphandle kwezenzo zabathandi. Lokho cishe akulona iqiniso ngaso sonke isikhathi. Akekho onelungelo lokufuna ukuthi uthando olukhulisiwe luyohlala unomphela, kepha onganakiwe nakanjani uzolahlwa kwasekuqaleni.
Imvamisa abantu bezwa inkulumo ecasulayo nenenhlamba: "Imishado isebenza kanzima". Njengokucasula njengokuvuma, kukhona okuthile kukho. "Kunzima", nokho, ukweqisa. Kungaba okulungile ukusho ukuthi ubudlelwano buthatha umsebenzi othile futhi isikhathi esithile kufanele sitshalelwe kubo.
Nazi ezinye iziphakamiso ezilula ezingasiza ukunakekela okunye okubalulekile nobudlelwano:
- Akuwona umqondo omuhle ukuthatha umlingani wakho kalula. Lapho abantu abasha bephuma ngezinsuku benza umzamo omkhulu wokubukeka kahle kakhulu. Kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi ngemuva kokushada iningi lamadoda nabafazi bagqokele umsebenzi futhi bangakunaki ngokuphelele ukubukeka kwabo ekhaya? Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubukeka uhloniphekile phambi kwendoda / unkosikazi futhi uzame ukugwema isilingo sokungena ezingutsheni ezindala zokujuluka ngoba nje zikhululekile.
- Ukuba nesikhathi sekhwalithi yodwa kubalulekile kunoma yimuphi umbhangqwana oshadile. Kanye emasontweni amabili noma amathathu lahla izingane futhi ube nobusuku bosuku. Kuzoba yisikhumbuzo esihle kakhulu sesigaba sokuqala ebudlelwaneni - uthando olusha oluvusa ingqondo. Gwema ukukhuluma ngezingane, imisebenzi yasekhaya nezinkinga zezezimali, ube nobusuku bangempela bosuku.
- Yenza okulindelwe kube ngokoqobo. Akunakwenzeka ukuba nezimvemvane esiswini somuntu kuze kube phakade. Yenza ukuthula nayo. Izindaba ezingaphandle komshado zinikeza abantu injabulo ethile, kepha intengo ivame ukuthandwa kakhulu. Isasasa lingelesikhashana, kanti ukulimala kwamanga, ukushaywa kabuhlungu kumlingani nezingane kungenzeka kube unomphela. Ukungasho ukuthi izimvemvane zizogcina zinyamalale noma kanjani.
- Izimpawu ezincane zokunakwa zibalulekile. Benza ukudla abakuthandayo ngezikhathi ezithile, bathenga izipho zosuku lokuzalwa nesikhumbuzo, bebuza nje: “Belunjani usuku lwakho?” bese ukulalela yizinto ezilula kakhulu ukuzenza, kepha zenza umehluko omkhulu.
Ukushaya ihhashi elifile
Kwesinye isikhathi uthando nothando kungazikhukhumeza ngokuphelele ngoNkulunkulu owaziyo ukuthi yisiphi isizathu. Uma kunjalo, kubalulekile ukukuvuma futhi ulungele ukuqhubekela phambili. Izigidi zabantu zikwenza nsuku zonke; asikho isizathu sokwethuka. Abaningi ababengamadoda nabafazi bahlala bengabangane abakhulu ngisho nangemva kwesehlukaniso. Nazi izinkomba zokuthi umshado kungenzeka ufile:
- Kukhona ukungabi nandaba ngokuphelele phakathi kwabashadile nokuxhumana kufana nokwabahlala ndawonye.
- Umqondo wokuya ocansini uyenyanyeka.
- Ukucabanga ngomngane womshado nomunye umuntu kuletha umuzwa wokukhululeka, hhayi umona.
- Ukulwa njalo phezu kwayo yonke into encane, umuzwa oqhubekayo wokungeneliseki.
Uma kunokusola okuqinile kokuthi uma abomphefumulo abasebenza ngomphefumulo sebephenduke abasebenza nabo esitokisini, kuhlale kungumqondo omuhle ukukhuluma nongoti. Abangani nomndeni bangabandakanyeka kakhulu ngokomzwelo futhi ngazo zonke izinhloso zabo ezinhle kungaletha umonakalo omkhulu. Umeluleki wemishado, ngakolunye uhlangothi, angahle angasiza, kepha ngeke alimaze. Ngombhangqwana okhungathekile, imvamisa kunzima kakhulu ukuba nenjongo futhi uqonde ngokuphelele okwenzekayo. Kunoma ikuphi, kuyinto ejwayelekile ukuthi kunezinhlangothi ezintathu kuyo yonke indaba “eyakhe, eyakhe, neqiniso”.
UDonna Rogers
Umbhali kaDonna Rogers ngezinkinga ezahlukahlukene zokunakekelwa kwezempilo nezobudlelwano. Okwamanje usebenzela i-CNAClassesFreeInfo.com, ehola izinsiza zezigaba ze-CNA zabafisa ukuba ngabasizi babahlengikazi.