-Delile
- 1. Funda ukuxhumana ngendlela enempilo
- Ukusho ukuthi 'ngiyaphila' kanti ngokusobala awukho
- Ukuhlukumeza okungatheni
- Ukuphinda amaphutha kazakwenu ezingxabanweni
- 2. Nikeza ukubaluleka okufanele ekusondelaneni ngokocansi
- Zijabulise ngaphambili
- Nikeza indawo yamaphupho nokuhlolwa
- 3. Ungazigcini izinto zezimali zomshado wakho ngemuva
- Ukuqonda okucacile kwezimali zasekhaya
- Setha imigomo yezezimali nomlingani wakho
- 4. Zazise wena ngaphambi komunye umuntu
- Unganciki kakhulu kumlingani wakho
- Ungazibekeli ukwelashwa okungafanele
- Ungamvimbeli umlingani wakho
IMarriage.com iletha ezinye zezeluleko zomshado ezivivinywe kakhulu zabesifazane zokugcina umshado wabo ubushelelezi (futhi ungabi nzima). Wonke umuntu wesifazane noma ngabe uqhutshwa kanjani ngumsebenzi futhi uzimele, kwesinye isikhathi uphupha ngokuthola umlingani ofanele azoshada naye, ekugcineni. Isizathu esisobala salokhu yisidingo sobudlelwano, yebo, kungenzeka futhi ukuthi imishado yenziwa kanjani ezincwadini nakuma-cinema athandwayo.
Umshado usatshalaliswa njengo 'thokozayo-njalo,' into eyenza konke kuhambisane nendawo. Ngenkathi yebo, ukuthola umuntu omthandayo futhi ofunga ukuthi uzochitha impilo yakhe yonke nalowo muntu kuyinto okufanele uyibungaze, kepha umshado awusona isixazululo somlingo kuzo zonke izinkinga zakho, ngisho nezinkinga zakho zobudlelwano nomlingani wakho ngalokho.
Umshado uyisibopho lapho uthembisa ukuhlala nomlingani wakho ebunzimeni nasebunzimeni. Lokhu akusho ukuthi imishado ayinayo injabulo, kunalokho nje ukuthi ukuguqula umshado ube ngowenjabulo kudinga isikhathi nomzamo.
Abesifazane abaningi, uma kungenjalo bonke, banemibono esontekile ngomshado. Ukunikela kusikompilo lwe-pop, umqondo womshado usuthandwe kakhulu, okususa ezintweni ezibucayi ezidinga ukucatshangelwa. Abanye besifazane banenkinga enzima yokuhamba ngomshado nezinselelo zawo.
Nalu uhlu lwezeluleko zomshado zabesifazane ezingabasiza ukuba babe nokulindela okungokoqobo kanye nobudlelwano obujabulisayo nobenelisayo nabalingani babo-
1. Funda ukuxhumana ngendlela enempilo
Okuthile okuyisisekelo njengokuxhumana okuza ngokwemvelo akubonakali kuyinto odinga ukuyifunda kabusha. Kepha, kunezinto ezithile ezingafundiswa kwabaningi ezibaluleke kakhulu ukugcina ubudlelwane obujabulisayo. Lapho konke kuhamba kahle phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho, ukuxhumana kwakho kuzobukeka kungenazithiyo futhi kungabi namandla, kulapho ubuhlobo bakho buhlala emanzini angenalutho kuzodingeka uqaphele ukuthi uxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho. Nawa amanye amathiphu omshado wabesifazane angabasiza bakwazi ukuxhumana kahle-
Ukusho ukuthi 'ngiyaphila' kanti ngokusobala awukho
Abesifazane abaningi banecala ngalokhu. Lapho abalingani babo benza okuthile okushaya isivalo sabo, esikhundleni sokubhekana nabo, bayathula futhi balindele ukuthi bazitholele ngokwabo ukuthi benze iphutha lini. Ngokuvamile abesilisa baqonde ngqo, lapho bebona ukuthi abashade nabo babathukuthelele, bababuza isizathu. Kulokhu, abesifazane baphendula ngokuthi 'Ngiyaphila' futhi balindele abalingani babo ukuthi bazi ukuthi kwenzekeni. Kulesi simo, igebe lokuxhumana liyangena lapho kudlulela khona ekukhaleni okukhulu. Abesilisa bathatha okuthi 'Ngiyaphila' ngenani lobuso noma balandele abalingani babo ukuze baphule ukuthula kwabo bachaze nokuthi kwenzekeni ngempela. Kuzo zombili lezi zimo, intukuthelo iyaqhubeka nokwanda ngoba abesifazane bazizwa bephatheka kabi ukuthi umlingani wabo ubenze bazizwa kabi ngento ethile futhi abangaqapheli nokuthi iyini.
Ukusho ukuthi 'Ngiyaphila' uma ungahambi kahle kuwumkhuba wokuxhumana onobuthi futhi kufanele ugwenywe. Uma uphatheke kabi noma umlingani wakho enze okuthile okukwenze wazizwa kabi, khuluma nabo lokho.
Ukuhlukumeza okungatheni
Kulezi zinsuku abesilisa nabesifazane bayaphuma bayosebenza ngaphandle kwamakhaya abo ukuze bathole imali, kepha uma kukhulunywa ngokuhlukaniswa kwemisebenzi, abesilisa nabesifazane abanikeli ngokulinganayo emisebenzini yasekhaya. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi abesifazane banikela ngesikhathi esiningi emisebenzini kunabesilisa, okuvame ukulandela intukuthelo ebudlelwaneni.
Abesilisa, lapho bakhohlwa ukufeza ingxenye yabo yemisebenzi, bathi ngokwesibonelo-ukukhipha udoti noma ukulungisa isibani, kuyacasula umlingani wabo. Le ntukuthelo ivela ngendlela yolaka olungenzi lutho. Abesifazane bazama ukubuyela kumlingani wabo ngolaka nje. Isibonelo- 'Ikhishi liyanuka kodwa ngubani onendaba nodoti?' Noma 'isitezi esingaphansi simnyama bhuqe kepha ngubani odinga isibani uma kukhona ithoshi.'
Lokhu lokhu kukwenza kwenza umyeni azivikele futhi kuqhubekisele phambili indaba. Indlela engcono ukuthi, kunokuba ube nolaka, usho ngokusobala ukuthi wenze leli phutha nokuthi lokhu kukwenza uzizwe kanjani.
Sebenzisa lesi siqu somusho kulesi simo-
Lapho wena (ungenalutho) ngizizwa (ngingenalutho), ngokuzayo uzo (blank).
Ngokwesibonelo
Lapho wena (ukhohlwa ukukhipha udoti) ngizwa (ngithukuthele), ngokuzayo (uzokhumbula ukukhipha udoti?)
Ngale ndlela uzokwazi ukwenza umlingani wakho abone lokho akwenzile ngaphandle kokumbeka esimweni sokuzivikela. Uzokwazi nokuveza imizwa yakho.
Ukuphinda amaphutha kazakwenu ezingxabanweni
Ukumba izingxabano ezedlule phakathi kwezimpikiswano akuyona enye yezinto ezinempilo kunazo zonke ongazenza ebudlelwaneni. Vumela okwedlule kushiye okwedlule. Uma kunengxabano, bese kuthi umlingani wakho akusole ngokuthize, ungalethi amaphutha amadala kazakwenu. Uma usumxolele umlingani wakho, ngcwaba isigqoko ungabe usakhuluma ngaso futhi. Ukuletha amaphutha edlule ezimpikiswaneni kungaholela ekwakheni umkhuba omubi wokugcina amaphuzu ebudlelwaneni. Uma omunye umlingani ephinda iphutha langaphambilini lomunye ku-tiff, khona-ke omunye uzokwenza okufanayo. Lapho bobabili abalingani begcina uhlu lomqondo lwamaphutha omunye nomunye, kuba ngumdlalo wokugcina amaphuzu. Akugcini lapho, ukubambelana emaphutheni womunye nomunye kusho nokubamba ubuhlungu obabudaleka ngaleso sikhathi obakha intukuthelo engenasidingo.
2. Nikeza ukubaluleka okufanele ekusondelaneni ngokocansi
Iningi labashadikazi lihlangabezana nempilo yocansi elishubile ekuqaleni kobudlelwano, kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uthando luyaphela futhi kanjalo nesifiso sokugcina ucansi lujabulisa, ikakhulukazi abesifazane. Kwabashadile asebenesikhathi eside beshadile, ucansi lungaba ngumsebenzi, kepha abangakuqondi ukuthi badicilela phansi amandla ocansi nemiphumela yawo ebudlelwaneni. Ucwaningo luveze ukuthi ucansi lungakhuphula ukwaneliseka kobudlelwano besikhathi eside. Nawa amanye amathiphu omshado wabesifazane wokuthuthukisa impilo yabo yezocansi-
Zijabulise ngaphambili
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano, imibhangqwana yenza umzamo wokuqonyana ngokubandakanyeka ekudlaleni kwangaphambili nokunaka izindawo zobumnandi zomunye nomunye. Abesifazane batshala imali ngezingubo zangaphansi ze-racy futhi abesilisa bazigcina bezilungisa. Lapho benza ucansi, bobabili abalingani bazama ukujabulisa omunye nomunye. Kepha njengoba isikhathi sihamba ngezocansi siba yinto ejwayelekile futhi inhloso yezocansi isuka ekujabuliseni omunye nomunye ize ifike kuvuthondaba ngokwabo. Lokhu kunciphisa isasasa elivela ethembeni lokuya ocansini nomunye ngoba awudingi umaqondana kuvuthondaba!
Kubalulekile ukuthi unikeze futhi ungazinikeli ukuze ube nobulili obujabulisayo nomlingani wakho esikhathini eside esizayo. Gxila ekujabuliseni umlingani wakho, zibandakanye ku-foreplay hhayi isenzo sobulili kuphela.
Nikeza indawo yamaphupho nokuhlolwa
Lapho ubudlelwane bakho busha, ukwenza ucansi oluthokozisayo akunamsebenzi. Kepha njengoba ujwayela ukuya ocansini wedwa, ukuthokozela kuzokwehla, noma ngabe bobabili ophathina bane-libidos ephezulu kangakanani. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ucansi luhlala luthakazelisa unyaka owodwa kuphela ebudlelwaneni.
Kepha ucansi olujwayelekile lubalulekile enhlalakahleni yesikhathi eside. Ngakho-ke ugcina kanjani ucansi lumnandi? Ngokuzama ekamelweni lakho lokulala!
Xoxa ngamakhinki akho nomlingani wakho futhi nivumelane ngokwenza okuthile ngaphandle kwesimiso sakho ukuvusa izinto ekamelweni. Ungathenga amathoyizi ocansi ukuze wenze ubulili bakho bube mnandi kakhulu. Ungase futhi udlale imidlalo yezocansi ukusetha amazinga okushisa akhuphuka esakeni.
3. Ungazigcini izinto zezimali zomshado wakho ngemuva
Ukuvumelana kwezezimali akusona isihluthulelo sokuzwana emshadweni. Kodwa-ke, ukuphatha imali ngokushelela kuxazulula izinkinga eziningi zasekhaya. Uma kunezingxabano zezimali phakathi kwezithandani, zingena zijule ebuhlotsheni obudala ukulahlekelwa ukuxhumana, ukusondelana, kanye nokuxhumana. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi imali iyimbangela ehamba phambili yengcindezi ebudlelwaneni.
Abesifazane ikakhulukazi badinga ukwazi ukubaluleka kwezezimali, ngoba bathanda ukuthenga futhi banamathuba amaningi okuthenga ngokushesha. Ukuvimbela izinselelo zemali ekulimaleni ubuhlobo bakho nazi izeluleko zomshado wezezimali kwabesifazane-
Ukuqonda okucacile kwezimali zasekhaya
Abesifazane abangeyona ingxenye yabasebenzi bezomnotho noma labo abaphathise ngokuphelele abalingani babo ngemali yezindlu zabo kufanele bathathe isinyathelo sokuqala sokuqonda izimali. Noma ngabe oshade naye kunguye owonga futhi atshale imali yakho futhi athathe isinqumo esikhulu sokuthenga kumele wazi ukuthi izimali zilawulwa kanjani. Lokhu kuzokunikeza ukuqonda ukuthi iyiphi imali esetshenziswayo, okulondolozwayo nokuthi wenza kanjani ngokwezimali. Uma unolwazi mayelana nokuma kwakho kwezezimali uzokwazi ukunqanda ukuthenga kwakho okungacabangi. Lokhu kuzonciphisa izingxabano ezidalwa yizinkinga zemali phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho.
Setha imigomo yezezimali nomlingani wakho
Ukugwema ukungezwani nomlingani wakho ezindabeni zezezimali zama ukubeka imigomo yezezimali enqunywe nhlangothi zombili. Isibonelo, yithi wena nomlingani wakho nifuna ukuthenga indlu. Ninganquma ngohlelo nihlangene mayelana nokuthi ungonga kanjani indlu bese unakekela izindleko zasekhaya ngasikhathi sinye. Ngale ndlela bobabili ophathina bazi ukuthi imali izophathwa kanjani kuze kufezeke inhloso yezezimali futhi ngeke kube khona ukungqubuzana ngemali esetshenzisiwe. Ngeke ibe khona indawo yentukuthelo evela emikhubeni yokusebenzisa imali ngokungalingani.
4. Zazise wena ngaphambi komunye umuntu
Ukuze ube nobudlelwano obuhle nomlingani wakho udinga ukuba nobudlelwano obukhulu nawe. Uma ungazithandi futhi ungavikelekile, akukho ukuqinisekiswa, ukuqinisekiswa nokunakwa okuvela kumlingani wakho okungakusiza.
Abesifazane ikakhulukazi babhekene namazinga angenangqondo uma kukhulunywa ngokunikela emisebenzini yasekhaya, ukubukeka nokuziphatha ngendlela ethile ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kwesinye isikhathi kuyaphazamisa imibono yabo ngabo futhi kwehlisa ukuzethemba kwabo. Lokhu akugcini nje ngokubenza babe lusizi kepha kuthinta nobudlelwano babo kabi. Nayi eminye imiyalo yomshado yabesifazane abahlushwa ukuzethemba okuphansi-
Unganciki kakhulu kumlingani wakho
Abantu abanokuzenyeza okuphansi babheka kumlingani wabo ukuqinisekisa konke abakwenzayo. Bancika kakhulu kubalingani babo baze balahlekelwe yithemba lokuthatha izinqumo ngezinto ezingasho lutho. Lokhu okwenzayo kunciphisa ukuzazi kwabo futhi kubenze bazizwe bengaphelele ngaphandle komlingani wabo. Ubudlelwano babo buba ubunikazi babo futhi balahlekelwa izifiso, amaphupho, nezinhloso eziphathelene nabo.
Lokhu kuncika kudala ingcindezi engadingekile, engadingekile ebudlelwaneni futhi umuntu othembekile uzimisele ukujabha njalo.
Ungazibekeli ukwelashwa okungafanele
Uma unikeza umlingani wakho ilungelo lokuthatha zonke izinqumo zakho futhi engakwazi ukusebenza ngaphandle kokuqinisekisa kwakhe, umnika amandla okuhamba phezu kwakho. Isisekelo sobudlelwano yinhlonipho, futhi kuyilungelo lakho ukulindela inhlonipho kumlingani wakho. Kepha, uma ungazihloniphi ngokwanele, ucabanga ukuthi ufanelwe okuncane bese uvumela umlingani wakho ukuthi abaleke ngokukuphatha kabi. Kuqala ngezimo ezincane, kepha uma ungazimele, uqhubeka nokuthola ukuphathwa kabi. Ekugcineni, ungazithola uphakathi kokugxekwa njalo, ukunganaki, ukunganakwa futhi mhlawumbe nokuhlukunyezwa! Kubalulekile ukuzazisa futhi ubeke imingcele; kuzokugcina wena nobudlelwano bakho benempilo.
"Ungavumeli ubudlelwano obungeke bukuvumele ube nguwe- u-Oprah Winfrey"Chofoza ku-Tweet
Ungamvimbeli umlingani wakho
Noma ngabe umlingani wakho kungumuntu ongeke akudelele ngaphansi kwanoma yisiphi isimo, indlela oziphethe ngayo ingasabulala ubuhlobo bakho. Isidingo sakho sokuqinisekisa nokuqinisekisa singakhungatha umlingani wakho. Uma umlingani wakho kungumuntu othanda ukuzijabulisa futhi enezinto zokuzilibazisa, umuntu onempilo ngaphandle kobudlelwano, ukuba nomlingani oncike kuye kungamenza azizwe encishisiwe. Ngaphandle kokuthi ujabulile ngawe, awukwazi ukujabulisa umlingani wakho.
“Isitsha esingenalutho asikwazi ukugcwalisa inkomishi”Chofoza ku-Tweet
Lezi ngezinye zezeluleko ezinhle kakhulu zomshado kwabesifazane laphaya. Ukunamathela kulokhu kanye nokuphila okujabulisayo komshado nakanjani kuzolandela.