-Delile
- Kungani izinhlangothi zombili zingazami?
- Ubudlelwano Rut
- 1. Phatha ubuhlobo njengomuntu ungathandi into!
- 2. Uqhuba kanjani?
- 3. UConfucius uthi
- 4. Singin 'emvuleni
- 5. Vents ngaphandle kwemingcele
- 6. Isibuko, Isibuko odongeni
- 7. USimon uthi
- 8. IRoma alizange lakhiwe ngosuku olulodwa
- 9. Ungqongqoze uphume epaki
- 10. Isimanga, ukumangala
Eminyakeni embalwa edlule, ngiye ngathola abantu abaningi ngokwengeziwe, abesilisa nabesifazane abakhombise "isithukuthezi" ngobudlelwano babo noma okubi kakhulu, ngemishado yabo. Ngokwesiko locwaningo, ngafuna ukuthola ukuthi yiziphi ezinye zezizathu zesithukuthezi futhi nasi ukuhlanganiswa kwezinye zezizathu engikwazi ukuzithola:
- Amashejuli amatasa
- Inqubo ejwayelekile nokubikezela
- Ukuphindaphinda okuyisidina
- Ukungabi nokumangala noma ukujabula ebudlelwaneni
- Imizamo yokunikeza umndeni ukuphepha nokuvikeleka
- Umbono wokushoda kokuzilibazisa ngaphandle komshado nomndeni (kwabesifazane)
- Imibono yokuntuleka kwesinyathelo sokuhlela ngokuhlanganyela nangamandla uma ngabe nishadile noma niwumndeni (owesilisa)
Ubudlelwano bunzima futhi imishado iba nzima kakhulu. Lokhu kunjalo ngoba izimali zibekiwe phezulu. Ngakho-ke, ngaphezu kokuxazulula izinkinga njalo, ukubekezela kanye nesimo sengqondo sokuthi "Ngikulona ukuze ngiwunqobe", kungukhiye ngezikhathi ezinzima / eziyisicefe. Inqobo nje uma wazi ukuthi ubudlelwano bukulungele, futhi ngifuna ukugcizelela ukubaluleka kwalowo mehluko, gcina ubungani nentshisekelo iphila.
Esihlokweni sango-2014 esikuHuffington Post, owesilisa oneminyaka engama-24 ukhononda ngokungaziwa ngokuthi unesithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni bakhe nonkosikazi wakhe, waze wacabanga ukwehlukanisa. Isikhalazo sakhe esikhulu: “akathandi lutho, kodwa yithi”. Uqhubeka athi yize engenankinga nokuthi akasebenzi ngaphandle kwekhaya, futhi uyena onondlayo, kodwa uyakukhathalela ukuthi “akayithandi neze into yokuzilibazisa”. Ngaphakathi kwaleyo ntambo, ngokuthakazelisayo, ophawula ngentambo, owesifazane uphendula ngokuthi "kungenzeka ukuthi akuyena futhi kungaba nguwe". Usho lokhu ngemuva kokuthi ethi umyeni wakhe ukhetha ukuya emicimbini nabangane bakhe ngendlela enganakekile, yingakho ezwa ukuthi udinga ukuba ngumuntu ophethe kahle. Sithi, mhlawumbe kuyinhlanganisela. Kuthatha okubili ukuya kuTango njengoba besho.
Kungani izinhlangothi zombili zingazami?
Futhi cha akukhona nje “ukukunonga” ngamathoyizi ocansi neminye imisebenzi “yangezinye izikhathi”, ngoba lokho kungagcina kuholele nasekudiniweni. Kuthiwani, esikhundleni salokho, siqala ngokugwema okufanele sikwenze, futhi senze lokho esizizwayo, bese siqala ukuphatha ubuhlobo njengabantu hhayi into.
Imibhangqwana eminingi icabanga ukuthi ubuhlobo obuhle bulungile. Kumnandi, kunothando, kuyajabulisa, njll. Konke kukodwa, ngakho-ke bacabanga ukuthi uma ubudlelwano babo buphela, ubuhlobo obubi. Akulona iqiniso.
Kwakungesikhathi se-Season 6 kanye nesiqephu 15 se-Sex and the City lapho ngiqala khona ukuthola isenzo esithi “toing”. Lesi siqephu sichaze ngokusobala ukuthi njengabesifazane, sisengozini enkulu yokwenza okufanele ngabe siyikho. Isibonelo, umbukiso oshiwo, kufanele ushade ngaphambi kweminyaka yethu yama-30, ube nemali engaguquguquki nomsebenzi ohloniphekile uneminyaka engama-30, nezingane ngaphambi kweminyaka engama-35, njll. USamantha ubesanda kuhlolwa umtholampilo futhi hhayi isipiliyoni esimnandi samshaya ebusweni.Kamuva, ngokubona, uCarrie wabonisa kukholamu yakhe wabhala, "Kungani sizimela sonke?"
Ubudlelwano Rut
Lapha ngizama ukungena esihlokweni seRelationship Rut neminye yaleyo mibono kodwa futhi ngithatha nombono womhlaba jikelele ngoba masivume, izinga lesehlukaniso elingu-50% akuyona into yokuziqhayisa ngayo. Kuqala kuza uthando, bese kuba umshado, kuphenduke kuqala kuza isehlukaniso bese kuba ukuqothuka. Yini enikezayo?
Ngifuna ukuqala kuqala ngesandulela; ukuthi akubona bonke ubuhlobo obujabulisayo okufanele buphelele emshadweni.
Akuwona wonke umshado ojabulisayo odinga ukuba nezizukulwane, (enye yezingxenye engizithandayo ku-Lion movie bekuyingxenye lapho umlingisi uNicole Kidman edlala indawo kamama wokutholwa kaSheru emtshela ukuthi ukumthatha bekungukukhetha futhi bekungengenxa yokuthi yena nomyeni wakhe bengakwazi ukuzala izingane). Futhi akuyona yonke imishado yesikhathi eside eyimishado ephumelelayo ngoba ihlale isikhathi eside.
Iqiniso ngukuthi thina njengezilwane sinezici eziningi kithina futhi enye yalezo zinhlaka yisidingo sethu sokukhuluma nokusebenzisana. Besilokhu sigcizelelwa ukuthi singagcini ngokushada bese sishiya omunye nomunye njengombhangqwana, kepha kunalokho sikhethe umlingani siphile impilo yethu njengabalingani futhi uma sinezingane, sikhulise abantwana bethu kanye nabo. Kepha inkinga ukuthi inqubo ayizanga nebhukwana lomnikazi.
Amasiko ahlukahlukene nabantu bomhlaba, baphila, bathanda futhi mhlawumbe bashada ngendlela yabo futhi banezindaba zokuxoxa. Lezo zinganekwane zinikeze impilo kumagugu anamuhla futhi njengezakhamizi zomhlaba zekhulu lama-21, siphila ubukhazikhazi bokukhetha nokukhetha ukuthi yimaphi amanani asisebenzelayo nokuthi "kufanele" kunokuba siwele kuwo.
Ngisho nangesikhathi lapho izinketho zazicindezelwa njengefu kanzima kwabesifazane, njengombhalo kaPBS Khadija, unkosikazi wokuqala woMprofethi uMuhamhammad kanye nomuntu wokuqala ukuguqukela ebuSulumeni, wayengusomabhizinisi ozethembayo nohlakaniphile. Waqala waqasha uMprofethi ukuba ahole izindwendwe zakhe zokuhweba, kwathi-ke nakuba ayeneminyaka eminingi emdala, wacela umshado kuye. Ukube ubengakhetha indlela abephila ngayo impilo yakhe nobuhlobo bakhe ngaleso sikhathi, nathi sonke singakwazi.
Nazi izincomo zami eziyishumi eziphezulu zokugwema ubudlelwano:
1. Phatha ubuhlobo njengomuntu ungathandi into!
Cabanga, uhlele, wenze yilokho esikubiza ngakho. Cabanga ngokuthi okunye kwakho okuphawulekayo kukwenza uzizwe kanjani nokuthi ufuna ukumenza azizwe kanjani. Hlela izinsuku, ukuphuma, amaphuzu wokuxhumana, ukubanjwa kwakhe yedwa nokwenu nobabili. Futhi ekugcineni, dlala indima yakho ngokusebenzisa lezo zinhlelo. Futhi uma ubona ukushiyeka kuze kufike kulokho abangakwenza kangcono, ungazigodli. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ingxenye enkulu yokuxazulula izingxabano kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo ukubona kusengaphambili nokuhlelela imiphumela emihle kunokugwema izingxoxo ezingathandeki.
2. Uqhuba kanjani?
"Kungaba ngocingo noma mathupha, buza umlingani wakho, yini entsha empilweni yabo okungenani kanye ngosuku futhi ulalele ngenhloso."Chofoza ku-Tweet
Lokhu kukusiza ukuthi ugcine umfutho ebudlelwaneni, futhi ungumuntu osebenzayo kunokuba umhlanganyeli ongenzi lutho. Ngenxa yokuthi abantu besifazane bayakwazi ukuxhumana nabantu, iningi lamadoda likholelwa emangeni ukuthi liphethe ubudlelwano futhi balinda futhi balinde owesifazane ukuba aveze izidingo nezidingo zabo. Futhi lokho akukubi nje kuphela kepha futhi akwanelisi kakhulu kowesifazane.
3. UConfucius uthi
Njengeqembu lamasiko, abantu base-Asia baseMelika kwesinye isikhathi kubhekiselwa kubo ngokuthi “abambalwa abayimodeli” Lokhu kususelwa empumelelweni yabo ehlobene (kwezamabhizinisi nakwezemfundo), izibopho zomndeni eziqinile (nezinga eliphansi lesehlukaniso), kanye nokuncika okuphansi kosizo lomphakathi. Njengeqembu, abase-Asia baseMelika banamaphesenti aphezulu emishado (ama-65% uma kuqhathaniswa nama-61% abamhlophe) kanye nephesenti eliphansi kakhulu lesehlukaniso (4% uma kuqhathaniswa no-10.5% wabamhlophe).
Alikho isiko eliphelele ngoba, njengoba sazi, akekho umuntu ophelele. Kepha, njengoba lokho ukuqonda kunikeza impilo ekuziphatheni, kuyaphawuleka ukwazi amanye amanani amasiko angasiza ekugcineni isikhathi eside ebudlelwaneni base-Asia.
Ngokwe- www.healthymarriageinfo.org, ukuhlukaniswa okukodwa okunjalo iqiniso ukuthi abantu base-Asiya abakholelwa ukuthi uthando ebudlelwaneni ludinga ukuzwakalisa izwi; ngamanye amazwi, bakholelwa ukuthi kunokuba kuboniswe uthando, ubudlelwano obuhle busekelwe ezenzweni zokuthula nokuzidela nokuzinikela kwesikhathi eside nokungenakuqedwa.
4. Singin 'emvuleni
Uyazi ukuthi iculo elilodwa noma uchungechunge lwezingoma, oluthi uma nje uzwa ngokushesha, luveze imizwa efudumele enhliziyweni yakho noma inkumbulo emnandi yezikhathi ezimnandi? Kuthiwani uma ubungawuphindaphinda lowo muzwa bese uphinda ngo-10? Zinike isikhathi sokwenza uhlu lwadlalwayo lwezingoma eziyizintandokazi enizithandayo nobabili. Yenza uhlu olulodwa lwezingoma ezihamba kancane nolulodwa bese uzibiza "Izingoma zethu".
5. Vents ngaphandle kwemingcele
Esinye sezikhalazo ezinkulu ezikhona ebudlelwaneni sihamba kanjena:
- “Akaze angilalele”
- "Uhlala ekhononda"
Lezi zitatimende zingesinye sezizathu zokucikeka. Futhi ngaphezu kwesithukuthezi, inqwaba yemizwa engemihle efana nentukuthelo, noma ukucasuka. UFrud ubaba we-psychoanalysis wayekholelwa enqubeni ebizwa ngeFree Association. Yilapho-ke lapho uphumela khona futhi uphume futhi uvumele imicabango yakho nemizwa yakho igeleze ngokukhululeka futhi ivezwe ngaphandle kokuzwa ukwahlulelwa noma ukuphazanyiswa. Cishe ifoni yawo wonke umuntu iza ifakwe isiqopha mazwi kulezi zinsuku. Esikhundleni sokubiza umngani wakho, ilunga lomndeni wakho noma umlingani wakho ngemuva kokungamboni ngemuva kwesikhathi esingakanani, sebenzisa okurekhoda kokuqukethwe yinhliziyo yakho ukukhipha futhi uveze okunye. Futhi lapho i-venter yakho ikhishwa, uzobona ukukhululeka, okuzokuvumela ukuthi ungabi nezinkinga, futhi ukhululeke kakhudlwana.
6. Isibuko, Isibuko odongeni
Ngokuya ngemizwa yethu yamanje, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwangaphambilini ngemisebenzi ethile, sihlala sisuka endaweni yemizwa siye endaweni yokuqonda. Ngamanye amagama, kwesinye isikhathi sifuna abalingani bethu babe nozwelo futhi balalele nje, futhi kwesinye isikhathi sifuna abalingani bethu basisize ekuxazululeni inkinga. Esikhundleni sokuvele nje ngaphandle kwenhloso, qala ngokunquma engqondweni yakho ukuthi ukulesiphi isigaba ngaphambi kokuletha umlingani wakho ebhodini, ngale ndlela uvikela umgibe wokuzizwa ungazwakali noma ucabange ukuthi umlingani wakho akakwazi ukukusiza.
7. USimon uthi
Yabelana lapho ikhanda lakho likhona. Umusho munye kuphela odingekayo. Isb. "Ngibe nosuku olujabulisa kakhulu futhi ngizizwa nginamandla!" , "Ngibe nosuku oludinga kakhulu futhi ngizizwa ngikhathele!", "Ngibe nesimo nomuntu engisebenza naye futhi ngazizwa ngithukuthele!", "" Indodakazi yethu ibilokhu ibelesele ehoreni elidlule futhi ngizizwa ngiphelelwe amandla ". Njll.
Le ndlela ehlakaniphile ngokomzwelo ifeza izinto ezimbili ngasikhathi sinye:
- Ikuvumela ukuthi uvume imizwa yakho, futhi
- Kwazisa umlingani wakho ukuthi yini abangayilindela nokuthi yini ongayilindela kubo.
Lesi sinyathelo kufanele senziwe ngemuva kokuthi usuvele wenze # 3. Ngemuva kwalokho, uqala ngomusho, ucele umugqa wesikhathi ka-5.10, noma imizuzu eyi-15 ngokwakho, bese uqeda ngomusho owodwa ofingqa indlela ozizwa / ucabanga ngayo njengoba kuchaziwe ku- # 4 bese unikeza lowo ozakwenu lolo lwazi .
Isib. Ngizizwa nginamathela esimweni emsebenzini futhi ngidinga usizo lwakho ukuxazulula inkinga. Noma
Ngicasuke kakhulu ngento eyenzekile namhlanje, futhi ngihlanganyela nawe lokho ukuze ungacabangi ukuthi imayelana nawe.
8. IRoma alizange lakhiwe ngosuku olulodwa
Ezothando akuyona nje ukwangana nokuqabulana, izimbali noshokoledi. Kuyizintshisekelo ezivamile. Awudingi ukufihla isonto lonke noma inyanga yonke, ngoba ulinde lelo holide, lowo mcimbi, noma leso simemo. Phila impilo yakho yanamuhla futhi nakhe izikhathi zansuku zonke ndawonye. Yakhani uhlu lwamabhakede lwemisebenzi yansuku zonke, amaphupho, izindawo, noma okutholile nobabili enithanda ukukwenza ndawonye futhi kuya ngesheduli yenu, khetha usuku olulodwa lweviki lokushintshana nikwenze ndawonye.
9. Ungqongqoze uphume epaki
Kulezo zinsuku zesonto lapho ubenosuku olumatasa kakhulu, olunengcindezi futhi okungenzeka ukuthi luyacasula, gcina ukuzivocavoca okungenangqondo lapho nobabili nidedela khona umusi ngenkathi nizijabulisa futhi ningenangqondo. Yebo, kunokujwayelekile “masidle isidlo sakusihlwa kanye ne-veg phambi kwe-TV, kuthiwani ngeminye yale misebenzi: ukudlala umdlalo oyintandokazi wevidiyo kusuka kumtapo wezincwadi we-" Our Songs "kusuka ku- # 2 ngenhla, uthathe imizuzu eyi-15 uhamba ubambene ngezandla, ukubuka indawo ekuzungezile futhi ungasho nelilodwa igama, ukudlala ingoma oyithandayo yokuphumula / yokuzijabulisa (kuya ngezinga lamandla akho) kubhangqwe nengilazi enhle yewayini, inkomishi yetiye elishisayo, noma ubisi olufudumele noju nojinja nokudansa ndawonye , njll.
10. Isimanga, ukumangala
Imibhangqwana eminingi, ikakhulukazi leyo enezingane ezincane ingena enkingeni yokucabanga ukuthi idinga ukwenza yonke imisebenzi emindenini yayo ngaphambi kokuzama ukwenza uthando nomlingani wayo. Iphutha Elikhulu! Amalokhi, umculo nezenzo yilokho esikushoyo! Ucansi ngaphambi kwanoma yini enye. Ukulondolozela okuhle kokugcina akuyona njalo indlela yokuhamba abantu!
Khumbula okwenzeka ePretty Woman, lapho uRichard Gere ebuyela khona ehhotela ngemuva komsebenzi, noJulia Roberts noma uVivian njengoba ebizwa kwifilimu embingelela ngomzimba wakhe onqunu, engagqokile okunye, kodwa uthayi amthengele wona ekuqaleni usuku noKenny G udlala ngemuva? Vala amehlo akho umzuzu owodwa bese ucabanga ngomunye wenu esitofu, bese omunye engena ngomnyango. Ushintshana ngokubingelela ngokushesha bese ubheka ngokushesha bese uyahamba wenze umsebenzi wesikole owenzelwa ekhaya, uthole ukudla etafuleni, bese usula izitsha nokuhlanza futhi ngaphambi kokuthi wazi, sekungu-8 ebusuku nesikhathi sokulala.
Ngalesi sikhathi, uthando lwakho seluthathelwe indawo amabala asezikibeni lakho kusukela ekuphekeni, ezinyaweni ezikhathele nangaphezu kokuvuselelwa ekunamatheleni kuzidingo zawo wonke umuntu ngaphandle kwezakho futhi ezocansi kubonakala njengomunye umsebenzi. Flip switch bese ubeka lowo msebenzi omnandi kuqala futhi lokho onakho uthando olwengeziwe ekhishini, ukuthula okwengeziwe nokuphumula ngesikhathi sedina ezungeze izingane, nokumamatheka okuningi.
Futhi yebo, ungalethi iThubhu egumbini lokulala. Ngiyaphinda ngithi musa ukuletha iThubhu ekamelweni lokulala Lokhu kufaka phakathi, ama-laptops, ama-Ipads, izingcingo, kanye nezincwadi, yebo ngisho nezincwadi. Ikamelo lakho lokulala kufanele libe yindawo yakho engcwele futhi uhlehle emhumeni. Okuwukuphela kwento evuselelayo nejabulisayo kuyo kufanele kube yinina nobabili.
“Ungathathi umshado wakho njengomkhiqizo osuphelile, kodwa njengokuthile okufanele uhlakulele.”Chofoza ku-Tweet
Lowo ngumbuso weConfucianism ngokungafani nomcabango wasentshonalanga, okholelwa ukuthi umshado uyisiqalo sothando kunokuba isiphetho esihle sothando.